


Don't Close Your Eyes

by Promsie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Action, Angst, F/F, Feelings, Light Angst, Slow Burn, i can't tag, what are tags even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 05:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 156,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Promsie/pseuds/Promsie
Summary: Alex has a crush on Sam but she doesn’t feel ready yet for a new relationship after Maggie. Sam has a crush on Alex but with her blackouts and Alex’ recent break up she isn't sure what to do with her feelings. Reign is the only one who has no scruples. Or does she? Follows the events after 3x12.





	1. Alex

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for the Kudos and comments on my other fics, they make me really proud and happy.  
> I hope you enjoy this story. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl. Title taken from “Don’t close your eyes” by Sam Tinnesz.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter is mostly a retelling of the end of 3x11 and 3x12 from Alex' p.o.v. Afterwards it gets canon-divergent, so stay tuned.

* * *

 

Something happened today when they were at the L-Corp lab, Alex knows it.

Their relationship changed ever so slightly, if one could even talk about a relationship before. It was a subtle shift, like a ripple far out on a large lake, but she is aware of the effects. They have not been exactly close until two days ago. Sure, they know each other for a couple of months, but it’s never been only them, someone always acted as the missing part to link them: Kara, Lena, Ruby. But the two of them, there has always been a certain distance.

After Maggie, Alex tries to keep most people at arm’s length. With Kara it hasn’t worked, obviously, and for some reason Ruby slipped through her defenses as easily as a fox through a chicken fence. However, Alex doesn’t mind this new closeness with the teenager. Their time together satisfies a certain yearning in her, one she risked everything for. That’s why as much as she loves spending time with Ruby, she is emotionally exhausted afterwards, nonetheless. She cannot keep herself from thinking how her life could have played out with Maggie if things had been different, if only they had wanted the same. When she is with Ruby, Alex knows it was the right decision. When she is alone, she questions it all over again.

It is a vicious cycle, and no one throws her a rope to get her out of it. Adding Sam to the mix only seems to make her drown faster. It’s not that she doesn’t like the tall brunette, it’s the opposite. Maybe she likes her a bit too much.

Guilt bubbles up in Alex’ chest when she remembers the day at the waterfront when she first met the two Arias women. They have spoken two sentences to each other after Ruby had bumped into her, and it was enough to make the normally so composed Agent nervous. The awkward wave she gave Sam and how crooked her voice sounded when she said, bye, make her cheeks burn even now. And the redhead hated herself for how she reacted to the young mother, she feels uneasy still. It feels wrong, like she is betraying something, or someone.

And three months ago, it had been wrong, but now. Alex doesn’t know.

Back then she shoved even the tiniest feelings of attraction for Sam so far away she quickly forgot about them. She had been happy, was in the middle of preparing a wedding, ready to spend the rest of her life with Maggie. Then everything turned to shit, and she was too occupied with being miserable to think about this new amazing woman in her life. And then they spend Christmas together, meet at Girls’ Night and Alex babysits her daughter. She wonders if it’s part of some big scheme, some Karma shit, something out of her control. Because as much as she tries to keep this invisible wall up between them and the distance the same length, it seems to rapidly decrease.

She can feel herself cave, feels the fluttering return, the nervousness, the wish to spend more time with Sam. It is wrong, she tells herself. It is as if she still has an obligation to Maggie. Or that some half-forgotten part of her still hopes, hopes that Maggie changes her mind.

But the night Sam comes to her apartment to pick Ruby up is the stone that sends the water in their lake in motion. Alex was in a good mood, she had been able to do something nice for Ruby, to maybe brag a bit with her FBI badge so she tried to laugh Sam’s confusion about her work trip off:

“It must have been really bad if you already blocked it out.”

But when the irritated CFO asked her what she was talking about, Alex already sensed that something was up. Then she was rambling, and shocked and looked at Alex with such wide and scared eyes that the redhead felt her fleeting happiness leave only to be replaced by an unsettling kind of worry. The kind that haunts her in her sleep and follows her like a shadow at day, the kind that penetrates every wall Alex could ever build. She already reached her hand out to hug her, to calm her, to give her at least some sort of support, but then the redhead let it fall. If she touched the brunette, her resolve would evaporate to dust.  She was not ready to leave her old feelings behind. Instead Alex promised to help her.

* * *

 

That is how they ended up in the L-Corp lab, the only two people on a Monday afternoon. Sam was nervous, worried that she may have one of the hundred diseases Google proposed to her. Alex tried to stay professional, to slip back into the doctor-mode she shed so long ago, to not stare at the brunette’s long legs.

Totally inappropriate.

Alex looked her straight in the face instead and reassured her that MRAs don’t hurt, to keep her eyes from wandering elsewhere. She joked about caffeine withdrawal to ease her patient and the smile it earned her made it harder to stay in doctor-mode. The conversation they had after the scan was slightly confusing to the Agent, that she was the one person Sam told about her fear of becoming a burden, her fear of needles. And again, Alex promised her it wouldn’t hurt.

Maybe that is her role in all this, to keep Sam from hurting, to be by her side. It is better than going around in circles in her own head, day in and out. The brunette doesn’t deserve any of this pain and Alex will gladly shield her from it all. It silences the guilt in her, too, she has a reason to be close to Sam now. Although, Alex wishes the circumstances were different, that she wasn’t so broken, that Sam wasn’t sick and that they had met either years in the future or two years ago.

When she told Sam about how hard it was to talk to anyone after Maggie, she caught herself by surprise.

Alex doesn’t talk about Maggie.

Rarely with Kara but definitely not with someone she barely knows. Though, sometimes it feels like Sam has been in her life for a long time. Like an old friend that was gone for years and recently came back. Speaking the words out loud was painful and her throat burned with rising tears, but she didn’t break, she would be strong for Sam, she would not be shut out. People keep telling her that it is better to let people in. Alex isn’t sure about that, yet but she still pretended it was. Maybe Sam would get more out of sharing her pain than she did. The brunette decided to spill the beans to Lena and Kara that evening, while wiping a single tear away.

Suddenly, Alex was overcome with the deep desire to make Sam smile, to wipe her tears away, to do something, anything to chase these dark thoughts away. She remembered the single, orange lollipop she snatched from Kara the day before, that she put it in the back pocket of her pants. With an encouraging smile she presented it to Sam, twirling it slightly between her fingers. The bright, genuine grin she got from the brunette in response and the golden twinkle she saw in her oaken eyes have become one of her new favorite sights. One she vowed to protect. She tries to keep the few good things in her life from falling to pieces.

While Sam changed, Alex cleaned up the medical supplies, prepared the scans and the blood test to be send away and washed her hands. She caught her reflection in a mirror above the sink and stared at something unfamiliar. She was smiling. Quickly, she pressed her lips together and resumed washing her hands. She shouldn’t be happy, she shouldn’t feel this giddy excitement in her, not when everything was so fucked up. After drying her hands, she put them on either side of the sink and exhaled, felt the muscles in her back ripple from all the tension. She hadn’t felt this guilty five weeks ago when she fell out of Sara Lance’s bed. She had been embarrassed yes, very embarrassed but she had been drunk, and horny and they both had needed to forget something. With Sam things were differently, this was precious and meaningful, whatever it would turn out to be.

 

* * *

 

 

All this replays in Alex’ mind as she sits on one of the white couches in Lena’s office at CatCo.  Sam sits next to her, wringing her hands together and tells her two friends what has been happening to her. Alex hears her words and Lena’s and Kara’s concerned responses, but she is not really listening. She looks at the brunette sympathetically and when Sam says again how she handled everything in her life on her own, it makes Alex’ heart clench. She wants to reach out to the shaken brunette, take her hand, place one on her knee. She wants to convey that she will be there, that she is here and won’t go anywhere, but Kara and Lena and her conscience are watching. So, she curls her fingers around her own knee. When Sam talks about Ruby, tiny, fragile newborn Ruby and how that moment changed her life forever, the familiar sting pierces the redhead’s heart. Alex presses her head against her shoulder and interlocks her fingers so hard her knuckles turn white to keep any thoughts about Maggie at bay.

Luckily, no one notices how she burns holes in the side of Sam’s head.

 

* * *

 

The next day, they all meet at Kara’s place because Sam’s test results are there. This has become a thing somehow, the four of them together.

As she takes the call from the Neurologist, Alex thinks bitterly that the fourth person in their group was supposed to be someone else. But then again Lena and Maggie never really got along well.

“Yes?” she says into her phone and the news make her feel conflicted, “Thank you.”

Then she ends the call and tells the three waiting women that the specialists didn’t find anything. She even tries to lighten the mood and compares Sam to an Olympic athlete, but it does not do the trick.

Instead of being as relieved as Lena and Kara, Sam says: “Really?” and the sarcasm and the crack in her voice physically hurt.

They all try to cheer the brunette up, tell her to take the good news and relax for a day. Alex promises her that they will figure everything out. Only Kara knows what a promise from a Danvers means. It’s more than simply that, it’s a guarantee, a pledge, an unbreakable vow. And as exaggerating as it may sound, Alex thinks she might actually die if they can’t figure out what is going on. As much as it troubles her, makes her wage a war against herself at times, Sam is important to her and she cannot lose another important person.

The three of them send the mother home to her child with hopeful smiles on their faces. Two minutes after she’s gone Lena finds her phone between the cushions of Kara’s couch. Before she can think it through, Alex says she’ll run after her. The Agent doesn’t waste time with waiting for the elevator and sprints the four floors down, taking two steps at a time. When she reaches the parking lot, belonging to Kara’s apartment complex, she can see Sam rummaging in her bag in front of her car: “Sam!” she calls out, “Wait a second.”

Sam turns around and looks puzzled. As Alex jogs towards her, she grumbles at how needy her voice had sounded. The world wouldn’t have stopped turning if she hadn’t caught Sam. She shakes the thoughts from her head and plasters a smile on her face: “You forgot your phone.”

For a couple of seconds Sam stares at her and Alex fidgets under her gaze then the brunette’s eyes snap to her phone: “Oh, thank you.”

As Sam takes it, their fingers brush and it is as if Alex is hit by an electric jolt. She snatches her hand away, hating how easily the brunette can throw her off the track. Sam takes a step back, looking crestfallen and drops the phone in her bag: “Sorry”, she mumbles and doesn’t look her in the eye.

Alex sighs, angry at herself. She is a mess around this woman: “No. Look, I’m sorry.”

Sam glances at her doubtfully from under long eyelashes and the redhead’s palms get sweaty: “Must have been some electric charging”, she tries to joke, and it seems to work because Sam smiles tentatively at her.

The last thing she needs right now is that Sam gets suspicious of Alex’ conflicting feelings for her. The brunette opens her car, puts her bag on the passenger seat and turns back around to her friend. “I meant what I said”, she starts but Alex doesn’t get it and looks at her with furrowed brows, “I don’t know, what I would do without you.”

Great, she can feel blood rushing to her face and her heart expanding like a balloon. “Any of you”, Sam adds, and pop goes Alex’ heart.

She tries not to let it show, hopes her awkward grin smooths her disappointment. Sometimes she doesn’t even know what she wants: “We’re all there for you. You don’t have to handle this alone.”

Sam nods, and Alex isn’t prepared for what happens next.

She is a top trained DEO Agent, she’s been shot so many times, she’s been abducted and almost drowned, she has fought God damn Kryptonians, but when Sam throws her arms around her shoulders and presses her nose against her neck, it catches her completely off guard. At first, she stiffens, overwhelmed by this sudden intimacy, the scent of Sam’s shampoo in her nose, the feeling of her nails scratching the skin above her rips even through the thick fabric of her sweater. But before she makes the brunette sad a second time, Alex tentatively wraps her arms around her. It has been too long since she embraced someone like this, even hugging Kara is different. The last person she has held so close was Maggie and thinking about her right now is like a punch in her gut.

Suddenly, though, Sam exhales a shaky breath against the sensitive skin between her neck and shoulder where the collar of her sweater slipped and sets her skin on fire: “Thank you, Alex.”

She presses Sam a little closer to her in a silent response and wills her heart to beat slower. Alex thinks their hug lasts longer than it should, longer than hugs between friends are supposed to be and she isn’t sure if she imagines the pink tinge on Sam’s cheeks or not when they separate. After she watches the brunette drive off, she puts a hand through her short hair in frustration and takes a couple of deep breaths. Her thoughts are all jumbled together, regret, hope and happiness battling for the upper hand and she is so frustrated, so tired. She needs to concentrate. She needs to focus. And Sam doesn’t need any advances from a broken friend. Angrily, she kicks a trash can on her way back to her sister and Lena and doesn’t even care that it breaks out of its anchoring.

 

* * *

 

 

Her Wednesday gets even worse when they find the second Worldkiller, a young African-American woman named Julia. At first, they all think things are looking up, that they managed to make a difference today. They take her back to the DEO for interrogation, to get information on Reign, on the other Worldkillers, but it ends in disaster.

Kara argues that the Worldkillers might have a human side, but Alex doesn’t want to hear any of it. She knows her sister. If there are humans trapped in these monsters, Kara will stop at nothing to try to save them and the redhead doubts that they can, or that it will be worth it. With a tight face Alex gives her one chance to bring Julia back, one attempt she knows that will fail.

When it does and the Worldkiller points a finger at her, Alex is ready, ready to show this liar, this murderer exactly what she has in store for her. But then Kara continues to try to coax the human back out and they spend hours and hours in front of the woman’s cell. With each passing minute Alex grows more impatient, her jaw clenches tighter and her expression gets darker. She doesn’t even look at them and it makes the Agent’s blood boil.

Purity is strong, unrelenting and merciless. She doesn’t care one bit about Alex’ and Kara’s questions and plays with them as if their roles were switched. Then finally Kara gives in and its Alex’ turn. There is so much anger in her that her voice quivers dangerously when she asks Purity about Reign. She cannot lose control, though, she braces herself to keep these wild feelings inside her in check and use them to fuel her, to make her a better Agent. That’s what she has always done.

But Purity laughs at her and says: “I see right through you, Alex Danvers.” And no matter how much she fights it, the mere possibility that she is right and the calm in her voice sends a chill down the Agent’s spine. She says she can see inside people and as her white eyes bore into Alex’ hazel ones she feels something crawl under her skin, seep into every cell. It’s dread. And terror.

Because deep down Alex’ is afraid of what Purity will find if she looks into her soul, that it’s rotten and foul and broken. Sobriety, logic and being level-headed are at her very core but nonetheless she is human and has feelings and they lie bare in front of the Worldkiller. The crease between Alex’ brows deepens more and more the longer Purity talks: “You want to hurt me”, she mocks her, “because you are hurt.”

You’re right about that, Alex thinks.

She wants to hurt her, wants to hear her scream in agony, wants to break her bones, her mind, break anything. Because sometimes the pain in her gets too much. The regret, sadness and loneliness blend into one and she is consumed by a furious rage. Rage that doesn’t go away after half a bottle of Scotch or after swinging so long at a punchbag that sand spills on her shoes and she can’t feel her arms anymore.

“You want me weak”, the Worldkiller continues, “because you are weak.” And Alex thinks about the nights she cries herself to sleep, the countless mornings she was so close to calling Maggie or to deleting her number. She thinks about Sam. How she must be there for her, that she must help her, and her breathing gets faster. She made a promise after all.

“Someone cuts something out of you and you feel the hole everyday”, Purity says, and it is like she stares right into it, right into the gaping space in her chest that Alex isn’t able to close: “A hole you dug in yourself”, The Agent takes in a shuddering breath.

This is not going how she had planned and all her confidence from seconds ago has been wiped out by the Worldkiller’s words. Purity cocks her head to the side and has the audacity to smile at her, provoking, taunting: “And it’s not getting any better now, is it?”

Kara steps in to dissolve the tense situation but Alex barely notices her: “Where is Reign?” she shouts but Purity’s smile only grows wider, more sinister: “See the rage?”

And Alex feels it burning hot in her veins, scorching her blood, oozing out of her like red, thick, disgusting smoke: “That’s her loneliness.”

She snaps.

She commands her to stop talking, to shut up because her words hit too close to home. When she stomps out of the confinement area she barely hears Purity’s last words: “You had a chance at happiness and threw it away.”

They are like a snake, slithering around Alex’ heart, tighter and tighter: “And now that you have a chance to be happy again, you are too broken to do something. You are nothing but a broken doll”, the Worldkiller sneers.

Alex can’t get enough air into her lungs, she’s choking on anger and fear. One name repeatedly blinks in her brain with the intensity of a floodlight and it is not Maggie’s. She paces up and down outside the confinement area, takes deep breaths, tries to calm down. But Purity crawled under her skin, deep, deep down and as much as her first words made Alex furious, it’s her last sentence that terrifies her. She has to keep Sam out of this.

At all cost.

When Purity escapes, Alex is shaking with terror.


	2. Sam/Ruby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Purity has fled, what will Alex do?  
> What does Sam think and feel?  
> Who drives the suspiciously unsuspicious car parked in front of Ruby's school?
> 
> Find out in chapter 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all very much for Kudos and comments :) I hope you like this chapter, it turned out way too long so I apologize in advance.

* * *

 

With a sudden jolt Sam wakes up.

Her thoughts are foggy, and her limbs feel heavy. The last thing she remembers is dropping her daughter off at school this morning everything afterwards is a blank. Disoriented she tries to figure out where she is. Her left hand hits a cold window, her right hand accidentally lands on the switch for the radio. She’s in her car, the song she listened to this morning with Ruby blares from the speakers and she turns the radio off.

She buries her head in her hands, her palms pressed into her eyes.

Another black-out. It must have been the third or fourth this week.

The young mother is convinced that the time she spends consciously is getting less and less. Every time she closes her eyes, she is afraid that she will be somewhere else when she opens them again. Today it was only her car. Other times it was her desk at L-Corp. But what if one day she wakes up somewhere unfamiliar, somewhere dangerous? She shudders at the thought.

Trembling Sam checks the time on the small digital clock in the car-panel in front of her. It’s the early evening hours, not too tragic. She instantly calls her daughter, anyways. Ruby is always the first person she thinks about when she regains her senses, she’s her top priority, her heart. Always.

Ruby picks up after the second ring, her voice chipper and innocent. She’s at home with a friend from school. They are working on a Physics project and relief pumps through Sam in sweet waves. She sighs and her whole body deflates, telling her daughter she’ll be home soon. After she ended the call, Sam checks her phone for missed calls or messages but luckily there are none. Then she stares blankly at the device until the screen goes dark, thinking about Alex.

In only six weeks the woman became such a constant in her life, it is almost frightening. Sam cannot imagine how she should get through this without the tough redhead, without any of them. In all honesty, though, it is mostly Alex who calms and steadies her. She has an air of quiet strength around her, of soothing protection and a fierce determination. If the bioengineer cannot figure out what is happening with her, she is doomed. Absentmindedly, Sam wipes her thumb over her phone screen. Ever since the attack near the construction site she and Ruby were involved in, her thoughts come back to Alex Danvers from time to time.

The brunette already realized back then that the redhead is amazing with kids. And that she is smart, funny and pretty. In Sam’s opinion that is a rare combo nowadays, one that should be treasured. Apparently, other people thought the same because from Lena she learned that the FBI Agent is Kara Danvers’ sister and was engaged.

That quickly dampened any hope Sam had and she tried to focus on her new job again, on being a good mom, on Ruby. She is not the type of person to barge into a happy relationship. And the one time she had met Maggie Sawyer she had made a fool out of herself by asking inappropriate questions.

Alex Danvers is on her mind more often than not, though. She can’t help it.

When she heard about the break-up and rumors about the reason, she felt sorry and ashamed. Sorry, because Lena told her how upset the redhead was and that Kara even took a couple of days off so the two of them could visit their mother. And ashamed because she thought it may have been better for the both of them to call things off before they would have been trapped in an unhappy marriage. Sometimes the sacrifices people are willing to do for each are so enormous that they give themselves up in the process. Sam is glad that Alex didn’t. She remembers Alex’ pained expression when she said the couple would not have kids.

Then Sam’s blackouts began, she was losing time that she desperately needed for work and her daughter. Her blossoming feelings for the redhead were suffocated by an ever-growing panic but they didn’t vanish. They were always there, small and flickering,mingling with all her other emotions. Like a single drop of water in a large lake. If she remembers it now, it was no surprise that Alex was the first person she confided in.

When she entered Alex’ apartment the night the Agent had watched Ruby, she knew she was falling. The two were sitting on the redhead’s couch, huddled together, laughing softly as if they shared a private joke. Despite her constant stress level and growing fear, a smile blossomed on her face, wide and real.

She is falling hard. And Alex makes it so easy.

She is wonderful with Ruby and under her tough exterior she is gentle and caring. However, Sam is not blind. No matter how hard the redhead pretends, Sam can see the walls around her. High and adamant walls that only Kara and Ruby can pass. Alex may not talk with her about her ex, and she doesn’t need to. The brunette can see the effects of the break-up on the other woman. Her shirts hang a bit too loosely from her shoulders, the shadows under her eyes are a bit too prominent and her smiles scarcely reach her eyes. Alex is hurting and Sam doubts that she can help her in any way. Clearly not by having a crush on her, though.

It was never her intention to bother Alex with any of it but when she realized she had another black-out, lost half a day and maybe her job and Alex sat right in front of her, the dam broke. Since that evening, her feelings only intensified, no matter how hard she tries to deny them. Alex suffers from a broken heart and she maybe suffers from a deadly brain tumor, what a great basis for a relationship.

So, Sam works hard to keep her feelings in check. If there ever is a chance for them, it definitely isn’t now, and Sam doesn’t want to pressure Alex into anything. They both need time. It’s not an easy task to keep her distance, though, when Alex was sweet and supportive, made needles painless and gave her lollies. Sam looks down at the fingertips of her right hand. She swears she can still feel the remains of the jolt that passed between them when Alex brought her the forgotten phone.

If only things were differently.

With a huff, Sam tries to clear her head. At times, she can’t make sense of the Agent’s behavior. One second, she is joking with her and grinning, open and honest but the second they touch, she gets as stiff as a board and as cold as a popsicle. It makes Sam bristle slightly, she makes an effort at least, but the closer she gets home, gets to Ruby the calmer she becomes. It’s not really Alex’ fault anyways.

 

* * *

 

 

“Ruby?” she calls as she passes the threshold, “I’m home.”

The house is mostly dark and silent, the Physics project apparently finished, and she can see the flicker of the TV. Sam kicks off her shoes, shrugs out of her coat and drops her bag. She wants nothing more than to curl up on the couch with her daughter in her lap. For one evening she wants to forget about the endless board meetings, her questionable health and a certain redhead.

“Working late?” Ruby’s voice rings out from behind the couch.

They both know the answer and Sam can hear that they both are equally disappointed about it. She cannot tell Ruby about her black-outs, her child should not be burdened with that knowledge. She always uses work as an excuse and Ruby’s disappointment is torture, but the alternative is too scary: “Yes, sweetie”, she answers guiltily and sits next to her daughter, “I’m sorry.”

At first Ruby decidedly stares at the TV then she curls around her mother’s midriff and places her head in her lap: “At least you’re home now.”

Sam strokes Ruby’s hair, kisses the top of her head and hates herself for making her daughter’s voice sound so small. She is aware that she will have to tell her eventually if things don’t get better soon. She doesn’t know how, though and suddenly hopes that Alex would be there. Lately, Sam wishes the FBI Agent was there in a lot of situations. She clenches her eyes tightly and buries her head deeper into her daughter’s locks. She is already missing so much of her child’s life and their many fights don’t help to silence her guilt and regret. Then Ruby sits up abruptly and smiles proudly: “I made you dinner.”

They glance towards the kitchen, which is a mess, but there are two pots on the stove and a single plate sits on the dining room table. Sam’s heart simultaneously swells and breaks at the sight: “Since when do you have to cook dinner for me?”

They both know it, but neither of them says it out loud. Ruby is a smart kid and she has long given up persuading herself that her daughter doesn’t suspect a thing. She even asked her if the brunette had superpowers and Sam wishes it would be just that. Telling Ruby will be the ultimate last thing she will do, when everything else has failed. Sam hugs her daughter tight: “Thank you.” Then she gets up: “I’m starving.”

Ruby jumps up behind her with a worried expression: “It’s nothing fancy, though. Just some noodles and veggies...” The brunette cuts her off with a big gentle smile: “I bet it tastes amazing.”

While Sam eats, Ruby tells her about her day at school, that she shared a Pizza with Kerala, a friend with whom she’s doing her Physics project and that her soccer team has a big game coming up: “When is it?” Sam asks as she puts her plate away and begins to clean up the kitchen, “This Friday”, her daughter answers excitedly, “Will you come?”

Her whole face lights up, her eyes sparkle, and Sam wants to lie the world at her feet. She checks her calendar on the phone. Her stomach drops when she scrolls to Friday. Most of the day is taken up by a big, red block that marks an investor meeting: “When is it exactly?”

Ruby furrows her brows: “At two, why?”

The meeting is set for eleven and Sam knows she will never make it. She hates moments like this, absolutely hates it when she has to let her daughter down: “Ruby...”, she starts but the teenager cuts her off sharply:

“No... I know. You can’t come.”

Sam’s heart breaks: “I will do my best. I promise. But work is important, you know that.” Ruby is still angry with her, she can see it in the downward line of her mouth, her furrowed brows. 

Ruby sticks her pinky out expectantly: “Pinky promise?”

“Of course,”, the brunette answers and vows to herself that she’ll move mountains if only to see Ruby play.

“And who will take me there?” her daughter asks, as they settle in front of the TV again.

“Uhm...”, Sam mumbles.

One person comes directly to her mind, but she doesn’t want to bother the Agent all the time. They have always managed before, only the two of them and Alex has a lot on her back herself. Ruby must have read her thoughts, though: “Oh, can Alex take me?”

Her eyes are bright and shining with anticipation and Sam doesn’t really have any other choice. Lena will be at the meeting with her and Kara is always busy these days. Sam is scared that she will exhaust Alex’ friendliness and support one day, that the redhead will grow tired of them and sooner or later tells Sam to take care of her life herself. Her chest contracts painfully at the possibility that Alex will focus her attention elsewhere in the future, on a new girlfriend, or on her old one.

Looking at Ruby, who stares at her bright and hopeful, she swallows her depressing thoughts: “I will ask her”, she says and laughs when her child makes victory poses, “That doesn’t mean she’ll have time, though.”

“Then call her right now”, Ruby says, tossing Sam’s phone at her.

Shaking her head at her daughter’s excitement to see the secret Agent, she goes into the hall.  Alex’ phone goes straight to voicemail, so she leaves a message. Her heart sinks imagining that Alex might be out, flashing a grin over a glass of red wine at a beautiful face-less woman or kissing her on a dimly lit doorstep. She feels like her heart inflates so much that it strains against her ribcage and simultaneously like it shrivels up and dies.

Don’t think about it, Sam argues with herself, she is single and can do whatever she wants.

Her heart feels heavy still but after casting a glance at the waiting teenager in the living room, she sends a text, too.

“She’ll call back”, Ruby says confidently when they watch the first episode of some teenage-drama she is totally engrossed in, “I know it.” For Alex Danvers’ health she hopes the same. Sam learned to go without a lot of things in the past years and she would learn to relinquish Alex Danvers, too. Ruby, however, was another thing and Sam prays that Alex continues to be there for her in the future or she would unleash her mama-bear force. 

However, Sam’s phone remains silent throughout the rest of the evening and still when she puts Ruby to bed. Her daughter’s faith in the tough Agent is steadfast. Before Sam closes the bedroom-door behind her, she hears her mumble: “I know it.”

When Sam sits on the edge of her own bed, she debates whether to call Alex again. It is not like her to not answer and apart from the growing fear that her daughter will be let down again, Sam grows concerned. What if something went wrong during one of the Agent’s missions? What if she was seriously hurt? The thought chokes her. She is directed straight to voicemail again and this time she doesn’t leave a message. Alex has no obligations towards her and if Sam actually interrupted a date, she wouldn’t be able to sleep all night. She will have to figure something out tomorrow.

She tries not to feel too disappointed at the fact that Alex seemingly ignores her.

 

* * *

 

 

Her sleep is light and fitful, nonetheless it takes her a couple of rings to wake up in the middle of the night.

Her phone is illuminated and vibrating on the nightstand. Half-asleep Sam takes the call, mumbling gruffly: “Yes?”

“ _Sam? It’s me_ ”, she hears a familiar voice, “ _Is everything ok?_ ”  Alex’ words sound heavy and sluggish. Sam doesn’t even want to know why.

Maybe from too much wine, she imagines but quickly chases the thought away: “Yes, why?” Sam puts a hand through her face, checking the time on her alarm clock.

It’s the middle of the night. She must get up in a little more than five hours: “ _You called me. Two times._ ”

All at once Sam remembers and is wide awake: “Of course, yes...sorry”, she mumbles. Alex doesn’t say anything. “Listen, I don’t really want to ask but Ruby has a soccer match on Friday and I won’t be able to take her.”

Alex sharply breathes out, so that Sam almost shys away from her plea, but then she remembers Ruby’s hopeful expression: “Could you take her? It would mean a lot to Ruby.”

Her phone stays deadly silent and for a brief moment she wonders if Alex hung up on her: “ _What time?_ ”

Sam gives her the time and address. Before the Agent can fob her off, she asks tentatively: “Are you ok, Alex?”

“ _Why do you ask?_ ” Alex responds, her voice sounding incredibly tired and unsure.

The brunette isn’t used to this side of the tough and serious woman and wonders again if something is seriously wrong with her, or with them.

Sam looks at her alarm again: “It’s past two in the morning. Why are you still awake?”

“ _I had some trouble at work_ ”, the Agent answers but it sounds like fencing. Sam feels like this is not a situation to pry and Alex must not tell her anything.

It makes her throat constrict, nonetheless: “Thank you. I owe you big time”, then she adds with a small smile, “Good-night.”

There’s a pause at the other end. Eventually, Alex says: “ _Good-night, Sam_ ”, then she ends the call.

The conversation leaves her strangely hollow. Alex has never been the happy-go-lucky type, though, since the last time they saw each other, she is being especially distant and withdrawn. Sam tries to go back to sleep but the thought of seeing the redhead the next day makes her heart race equally with excitement and nervousness.

 

* * *

 

 

In the morning she barely gets herself out of bed and waking her daughter up is harder than waking up a drunkard.

Blinking drowsily, the two sit at the kitchen counter, Sam with an extra strong coffee and Ruby with a bowl of cereals. When Ruby forgets to close her mouth properly while eating and milk drips on her chin, Sam chuckles: “What are you so tired for? Shouldn’t you have been sleeping before midnight?”

Ruby looks at her innocently. Then the brunette has to stifle a yawn herself: “Mom, I’m a teenager I spent my nights on YouTube and Instagram”, then she grins, “Why are you so tired?”

Sam hides a blush behind her cup. After Alex’ call, she has not been able to fall back asleep properly and has been plagued by dreams that were either fueled by her inappropriate jealousy or her libido. It was a rough night: “Alex called back.” she mumbles.

“And?” Ruby asks, completely forgetting her breakfast.

Sam smiles at her: “She’ll pick you up from school today.”

“Yes!” Ruby exclaims.

Her spoon clatters into the bowl, spilling milk everywhere. Sam hands her a damp cloth from the sink, adding: “Maybe you can eat lunch with her and then she’ll take you to your game.”

“Awesome!” Ruby cheers and is not listening to her anymore. When Sam drops her off at school, she promises her again that she will try to be there. The second she steps into L-Corp’s generous foyer, though, she’s sucked into work like into a vortex.

 

* * *

 

 

For Ruby school drags on forever today.

She can barely concentrate on anything because she is so preoccupied with imagining what it will be like when a real FBI Agent picks her up. The moment the bell rings at the end of the last lesson, she is the first out of her chair, sprinting towards the school’s exit.

Once outside, she bumps into Kerala, one of the few friends she made so far in National City: “Have you seen a suspiciously unsuspicious car?”

Ruby asks her, already scanning the line of shining estates, bulky family vans and parents waiting impatiently for their kids.

Kerala adjusts her glasses: “You mean your mom’s silver Chrysler?”

Ruby shakes her head and drags her friend towards the end of the line: “My mom can’t pick me up today. Alex comes instead.”

Kerala stops the teenager’s stride, looking at her with furrowed brows: “Who is Alex?”

Excited Ruby rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet: “She’s my friend. And a top-secret FBI Agent.”

At Kerala’s disbelieving look her stomach knots: “She’s real, I swear.”

“Yeah, not until I see her with my own eyes”, the other girl answers and Ruby groans.

Ever since she punched someone for calling her a liar in front of half the school, it has gotten hard to convince people that she is telling the truth.

“Just come with me”, Ruby urges her friend instead of getting angry.

Almost at the end of the line she suddenly spots a big, black SUV with tinted windows. Alex leans against the side of the car in her trademark leather jacket, playing with her phone: “What did I tell you?” Ruby murmurs before she shouts: “Hey, Alex!”

The Agent looks up and slides her phone in the pocket of her jacket. She’s wearing sunglasses and her FBI badge flashes for a moment as she waves at the two girls. Ruby skips towards her and throws her arms around the woman’s waist: “Hey, kiddo”, she says, her voice warm but the intensity with which she returns the hug doesn’t feel like it usually does.

When Ruby turns around, Kerala gapes at them with an open mouth and she must snicker. Now everyone would know not to mess with one Ruby Arias because she has friends at the FBI.

“This is my friend Kerala”, Ruby introduces them, “And this is my friend Alex.”

The redhead gives the girl a polite smile, saying: “Hello there, nice to meet you.”

Kerala lets out an awkward laugh, tightening the hold on her backpack: “H...Hi.”

“You’re ready to go?” Alex asks and Ruby nods vigorously.

She says good-bye to her friend and hops on the SUV’s passengers seat: “Mom said we could go eat lunch?”

Alex starts the engine and follows the street leading towards the city center: “What do you have in mind?”

“Ice-cream?” the girl tests her luck.

The sunglasses slide a couple of inches down on the Agent’s nose and she sends a stern glare at Ruby: “I bet that’s not what your mom had in mind when she said ‘lunch’.”

Ruby shrugs: “A girl can try, right?” Alex chuckles slightly and then they both fall silent.

The radio plays softly, though, Ruby is not really listening, already thinking about her big game. Their team is not bad but as she only joined very recently, Ruby still has some troubles to adjust to the other members and frankly she is not blessed with that many sporty goods. Nervously, she casts a glance at the woman beside her. Ruby really likes Alex, that she not treats her like a child all the time, that she is super intelligent and has the coolest job ever. She even worked with Supergirl and Ruby still cannot believe it sometimes that she knows someone who knows the heroine. The teenager doesn’t want to disappoint the Agent by being bad at the match.

Despite her nervousness, though, Ruby registers that something is off with Alex today. She is quiet and tense and keeps her gaze fixed firmly on the road. She hasn’t taken her sunglasses off yet either, despite it not being an overly sunny day. The teenager wonders if it has something to do with last night and the fact that she called back her mom so late: “Alex?”

The redhead jerks slightly: “Hm?”

“Is something wrong?” Ruby asks, suddenly wondering if the Agent really has time to take her to the game.

Alex sighs: “I’m sorry, Ruby”, she gives the girl a gentle smile: “I had a really bad day at work yesterday.”

For Ruby that is enough of an answer for now and then Alex finds a parking spot in front of a small restaurant called Noonan’s.

During lunch, she forgets all about the Agent’s strange behavior and it seems that Alex loosens up a bit. When the check comes Ruby takes her small wallet out of her backpack. It doesn’t contain much, just her student ID, her address and her mom’s phone number but this morning her mother slid a fifty-dollar bill across the kitchen counter. Alex is faster, though. When Ruby protests that her mom gave her money specifically to eat lunch with her, the redhead says: “You, little Arias, are keeping that money. I’m not letting a kid pay for my food.”

“But...”, Ruby interjects.

“Tell your mom to spend her hard-earned dollars on something nicer”, Alex mockingly scolds her as they leave the restaurant.

Ruby throws her arms up: “Ok. Ok. But why don’t you tell her yourself?”

Unexpectantly, Alex halts and something flashes across her face that looks a lot like panic, hurt and anger, with a clenched jaw and furrowed brows. Ruby hurriedly asks: “Did I say something wrong?”

The Agent comes out of her stupor, placing a hand on her shoulder: “I’m sorry”, she says again, sounding sincere, “You said nothing wrong.”

Then she gives Ruby a grin: “Let’s get you to your game.”

Ruby laughs nervously, trying not to worry about Alex. Now the two most important adults in her life keep secrets from her, that’s killer.

But the closer they get to the park the more nervous Ruby gets and she’s happy when Alex puts on the High School Musical soundtrack. She loves the movie, it’s from the year she was born, and she secretly knows all the lyrics. Alex doesn’t join her when she sings along. At least she’s smiling again and seems to enjoy herself.

When they reach the park, the teenager is so hyped from the music it’s worse than when she has a sugar flash. She’s out of the car before Alex kills the engine and almost runs to the club house, which is really nothing more than a janitor’s closet next to the field, without another word. She comes to a slithering stop, though, turns around and dashes back.

Alex just stepped out of the car behind her, looking a little lost. It’s strange to see the Agent at this place, where it’s usually only her mom, has always been her mom. Ruby has to smirk, though, when she notices how the Agent sticks out like a sore thumb between the other parents that begin to show up. Just like her mom does in her expensive business clothes and with her laptop perched on her knees.

As she reaches the redhead, Ruby tells her where to sit or rather stand. Alex didn’t bring a camping chair like all the good soccer-moms do. She stares after the other adults, looking slightly uncomfortable. Hesitantly, Ruby grabs the end of her jacket-sleeve: “Will you watch?”

She hears how shaky her own voice is, but she really wants Alex to see her play, she wants to make her proud. It’s bad enough that her mother cannot be here. The Agent turns towards her, her expression unreadable and her eyes jittery. She takes a deep breath: “Of course, I will.”

Ruby grins from ear to ear and hugs her. This time it feels right, like Alex’ hugs are supposed to feel: strong, supportive and full of love. They high-five, before the girl follows her team mates into the club house: “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Alex cheers her on.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam curses while she parks the car in front of the park where her daughter’s game takes place right now.

She already missed the first half and she damns the investors for keeping her so long at L-Corp. She leaves everything except her phone and her car keys and sprints towards the soccer field. From afar, she can already see Ruby’s team in their black and blue jerseys, it’s looking good for them, they are in the lead.

Then she glances towards the side of the field where all the parents usually lounge in their camping chairs. A couple are standing, too, but she spots the familiar red tint immediately. She stands a little apart from the other adults, actually watches the game and Sam muses how rarely she sees the Agent outside of her work environment.

Usually, when they meet, there is chaos everywhere or they are doctor and patient, except for Girl’s Night. Those are too far and few between, though, to actually count. Sam flashes polite smiles here and there and hurries on. She has not bonded with any of the parents. Even when she has time to attend one of Ruby’s games, she’s usually loaded with work and she has never felt like reaching out to one of them. Between work and raising her kid, she barely has time for anything else anyways.

But then Lena came along, and because she knows the Luthor’s past, Sam would never reject an invitation from her. Lena, Kara and Alex are her only real friends in National City and that are three more than in the last city. It feels nice for a change, having people she can talk to, people that are there for her, someone she can rely on. The closer she gets to Alex the faster beats her heart. A smile is spreading on her face.  Then she notices the dark expression on the Agent’s face, her stiff posture and how she keeps checking her surroundings constantly. Last night must have been terrible for her.

When Sam bumps into her softly, the redhead is half turned somewhere else and jolts at the contact:” Hey”, the brunette greets her, “Sorry, that I’m so late.”

Alex shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans, not really looking at her: “It’s ok.”

Something stretches and contracts painfully in her stomach. Sam has hoped that whatever happened between them that lead Alex to treating her this miserable is cleared by now. But apparently, Alex feels uncomfortable around her and Sam cannot figure out what she did to deserve it. The tightness in her stomach gets worse. Maybe she should concentrate on her daughter instead. “Was Ruby good?” Sam asks, watching proudly how her daughter gives two defenders the go-by with ease.

Alex hums in approvement: “She wanted ice-cream for lunch.” Sam looks at her in mock shock, her heart fluttering when she catches Alex finally smiling slightly:

“Did she bribe you with her pout?”

Alex shakes her head: “I’m completely immune to pouts. Kara tried to bribe me like that whenever she wanted something when we were younger.”

It was just one moment, yet the brunette naively hopes that the Agent will stop her silent treatment, eventually. Then Alex nudges her and the two focus back on the game. Five minutes later Ruby scores a goal and Sam throws her arm around Alex, cheering loudly. Alex claps intensely beside her. It’s the first time ever that the CFO can share her pride for Ruby with someone. Warm floods her and she knows she can never convey to the Agent how grateful she is for everything.

When she retreats her arm from Alex’ shoulder, their fingers brush, and Sam fights the urge to intertwine their hands. Instead she presses her hand quickly against her thigh. She moves on thin ice with Alex today and in this charged atmosphere there’s no place for her romantic feelings. Still, she needs to know what’s going on with the redhead, what makes her so agitated, so irritable. Because if Sam is the reason, she can do something about it, she can give Alex time and space, stop bothering her, stop relying on her so much. And she can give herself the opportunity to bury her feelings deep down in the darkest most secluded corner of her soul. And she would, of course she would because pining simply hurts too much.

Then there are times when Alex smiles at her so bright it blinds her, looks at her with dark eyes blown by desire and is so soft, so sweet. It makes Sam question everything. She is so convinced that Alex cannot only have friendly, platonic intentions. Whatever is happening between them, it’s driving the young mother insane. Sam mumbles: “Sorry.”

The redhead says: “It’s ok. Don’t worry”, but folds her arms in front of her chest, slipping her serious mask back on.

Sam tries not to let it get to her, nonetheless the reaction stings. She wants to grab the redhead’s shoulders and shake her until the truth spills out somewhere. Although Alex keeps her rigid posture, the two stand close together, the space between them crackling with tension. It’s like the air is charged electrically and it would not surprise Sam if she sees sparks gleaming and flying between them.

Alex cannot ignore that, Sam thinks.

Finally, the referee signals the end of the match and Ruby bounces towards them with burning red cheeks and a face-splitting smile. She knocks into Sam full force and the brunette can keep them barely from tumbling to the ground: “Mom, you made it!”

Sam hugs her tight: “Yeah, just like I promised. You were great, sweetie.”

Before she knows it, though, her daughter ends their hug and turns to Alex: “You killed it out there, kid.”

To Sam’s surprise they fist-bump. She hasn’t seen Ruby this happy in a long time, “Go change, Rubes. We’ll wait here.”

Excitedly Ruby skips towards a trio of girls clad in blue and black jerseys and together they walk towards the small club house.

When she turns back around to Alex, the other woman looks around nervously again: “Uh, Sam”, she starts, without looking her in the eyes: “I think I should go now.”

The brunette’s heart sinks. It seems Alex is really ignoring her. Like she’s running away from this thing, this cautious bond that spins between them. It’s her right and Sam can understand if it’s all too early or too much, but she wants some kind of certainty. Sam knows that Alex is not over Maggie yet, that she’s maybe only at the beginning of her recovery and she can handle that. It hurts but she can handle that. What makes her so desperate, is the uncertainty. If Alex doesn’t return her feelings, then she has to accept that. She cannot go on forever in this limbo, though. She must shout her feelings out loud soon or bury them six feet under her consciousness.

Sam needs to know if the constant struggle, the worry, the self-doubt and the abrupt changes from being on cloud nine to hitting rock bottom are worth it. Therefore, today Sam will not let her go so easily: “Now? Why? Do you have to work?”

Alex’ face hardens, her eyes shining with a deep sorrow and longing: “No, not work.” She doesn’t come up with any excuse, so Sam presses on.

She will not let the Agent slip away again: “What is it then? Ruby and I usually get ice-cream after a match, you should come with us.”

Alex looks like a cornered animal ready for flight: “I don’t want to impose on mother-daughter time.”

“You wouldn’t”, Sam counters.

“I really can’t...” the redhead starts again and now anger bubbles up in Sam.

Alex cannot run away from her forever: “What is it with you today?” she snaps.

Alex stares equally heated back at her, waving her hand through the air, brandishing it like a weapon: “I just can’t, ok!”

Angry they stare at each other for a couple of moments, before the redhead steps back and growls: “This is stupid...”

When she tries to sidestep the brunette, Sam’s hand shoots out, grabbing her wrist: “Wait.”

Alex looks at her with a furious expression and Sam almost lets go: “I just want to know what’s going on with you”, Alex averts her gaze. The brunette keeps talking, softly, whispering, the anger having faded away: “You helped me so much the last couple of days and I...I just want to help you, too, Alex. Do something nice for you.”

Slowly Sam feels the other woman relax in her grip and she gathers up all her courage when she slips her fingers between Alex’. It may not be the smartest move, not when the redhead is like this, but it keeps her from fleeing with flying colors. Alex’ hand is rough and strong. Sam fills the spaces between her fingers perfectly. Her pulse quickens, feeling Alex’ skin shifting beneath her fingertips.

It breaks her heart to see and feel how good they could be together, how good they could be for each other. And despite everything, despite the black-outs and the break up and how messy their two lives are, Sam has hope for them: “You could come to dinner tonight.” When she feels Alex retreat again, she adds, “At least as a thank-you for taking care of Ruby today.”

The redhead stares at the sky, exhales a long shaky breath, squeezing Sam’s hand: “Not today, Sam. I’m sorry...it’s just...I can’t...it’s too much.” The CFO nods but doesn’t let go of the Agent’s hand yet, savoring what little contact Alex grants her today: “I will call you”, she quickly checks their surroundings again. Sam wants to know what’s going on more than ever: “I promise”, she adds.

Then the Agent slips her hand from Sam’s and walks towards the cars. “Thank you”, Sam shouts at her hastily retreating form, already missing the warmth of her hand.

 

* * *

 

 

It takes three full days until Alex calls her and each passing hour, Sam got more worked up about their last meeting. She wouldn’t call it smoothly.

They make dinner plans for Thursday. When she picks up Ruby from Lena’s place later, her daughter is already gushing about the Agent.

Alex must have called her, too.

With a wink, Lena hands her two very expensive red-wine bottles, before mother and daughter leave.

Sam stares at her incredulously.  Lena says: “Your daughter has it bad for our Agent. She spilled everything.”

Very worried Sam wonders what exactly Ruby spilled. It’s not like they have a date on Thursday. It’s a thank you, a nice gesture and maybe retribution on Sam’s behalf for her behavior at the soccer match. And Ruby will be there. She’s always being their buffer without realizing it. She didn’t want to put Alex under so much pressure, but she also realizes that things can’t go on like this for much longer.

That night she lies wide-awake in bed, battling a mild panic attack. Although she acted so decisive around the Agent on Friday, she is overcome by the immense fear now that she might have a black-out during their dinner. What if Ruby sees her like that? What if Alex does? What if she is dangerous when she is in this trance like state? The thoughts make her sick.

She cannot imagine that Alex would stay so unrelenting by her side when she sees how messed up Sam really is. Because no matter how hard it seems for the redhead to be around her, Alex keeps her promise. She is there, steady and constant like a rock. And Sam is sure she will fall apart if that rock would be gone.

Then Thursday is there sunny and warm and beautiful for the end of January and it’s too late for Sam to change her mind. Together with Ruby she decides on Lasagna and a simple chocolate cake for dessert. She prays Alex likes at least one of the two dishes, but she had to choose something Ruby can help her with. Her daughter vehemently insisted on helping her with everything. When the food is in the oven, the table set, and the kitchen looks less like an exploded minefield, Sam stands in front of her wardrobe in her underwear and feels like she has nothing to wear. Ruby lies on her bed, playing absentmindedly with an iPad: “In a pinch one of your business suits will do, Alex loves them.”

“Excuse me?” the brunette spins around.

Ruby’s eyes are glued to the screen: “Yeah, you know. Your tailored blazers, the rolled-up sleeves, the dress pants.”

Gaping, the brunette sits next to her daughter and takes the iPad away: “I know what I wear to work.” she says, looking at her daughter seriously, “What was the other thing you said.”

Ruby looks like she’s been caught red-handed, mumbling: “Nothing.”

Sam knows exactly how to make Ruby talk, though, and simply continues to stare at her.

Eventually, the younger Arias breaks: “Ugh, mom”, she rolls her eyes, “I’m young, not blind.” She says it like it explains her comment.

“What do you mean with ‘Alex likes them’?” the brunette says. Are we that obvious, she wonders.

“Everyone with eyes can see how Alex looks at you when you’re in your power suits. She obviously likes you.”

Sam stays silent, thinking she would do anything to make things that simple: “It’s not that easy, Rubes,” she sighs.

She cannot have this conversation right now, especially not with her daughter and says: “Help me, pick something out that doesn’t scream ‘high and mighty business woman’.”

Without hesitation, Ruby steps up to her wardrobe and takes out a simple black dress, with a low-cut neck, one she hasn’t worn in years: “Take this”, she says matter of factly, thrusting the dress into her arms: “And don’t argue”, she adds before leaving the room.

Dumbfounded her mother stares after her. When did she grow up so much? At random she looks at her alarm and when she realizes what time it is, she curses, “Shoot”.

She rushes into the bathroom. Alex will be there in less than an hour.

 

* * *

 

 

As she puts on the finishing touches on her make-up, she hears the doorbell.

This is not a date, she reminds herself, smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her dress.

She checks herself one last time in the mirror and takes a deep breath.

Don’t fuck this up, Arias.

Her heartrate must have something else in mind and is already going through the roof as she comes down the stairs. But the hall is empty, there is no sign of either Alex or Ruby and the front door is wide open. Panic floods her body and she is about to scream her daughter’s name when she hears light laughter from outside. Curious she steps through the door. What she sees makes her heart melt.

A shiny black motorcycle stands in the driveway and Ruby admires it from all sides a helmet pressed tightly to her chest. Alex points at different parts of the machine, explaining their purpose patiently: “Will you take me someday?” Ruby asks excitedly.

Alex chuckles: “I would totally do that, but your mom can never find out.”

“Too late”, Sam says from her spot on the threshold, and the two spin around in surprise.

Even in the dark, Sam can see how Alex’ eyes widen when she spots her: “Hey.”

“Hey”, Sam responds, heart hammering in her chest as loud as a drum.

Alex points a finger at her daughter: “No touching”, then she closes the distance between them with a few steps.

Alex wears one of her hundred leather jackets, dark, tight fitting jeans and a light shirt. She even put on make-up and it feels more and more like a date when they take each other in mutual adoration.

“You look really good”, Alex murmurs eventually, her eyes dark and wide and Sam wonders if it’s due to the night having fallen around them or something else.

“You, too”, she hums.

Then Ruby barrels past them, dragging the redhead with her on the way. Sam barely has time to press into the door to not get run over: “Ruby, not so fast”, she scolds the giddy teenager.

When Sam closes the door behind her, she hears voices from upstairs and knows that Ruby is giving their guest the grand tour. She spots Alex’ helmet on the sideboard in the hall, next to her keys and Ruby’s headphones. Her heart constricts in a mix of sorrow and euphoria. She is about to run her fingers over the shiny material, when her daughter and the Agent return downstairs. Ruby already rushes into the living room, but Alex stays with her in the hall.

“I didn’t know what I should bring”, she produces a bottle of wine from behind her back, “I hope this is okay. I couldn’t carry that much on the bike.”

Sam suppresses a smile, thinking about the ridiculously expensive wine Lena gave her: “You didn’t need to bring anything”, the redhead shrugs to pretend that it’s not a big deal, “But thank you anyways.”

When Sam takes the bottle from Alex’ grasp their fingers brush again. Sam’s breath gets stuck in her throat and there is a tingling sensation expanding from where their skin touches. Instead of jerking her hand away, Alex maintains the touch this time, staring at her with slightly parted lips and a quickened breath. This is completely different than Friday. Sam cannot wrap her head around it.

Suddenly, Ruby yells from the living room: “Mom, Alex? Are you coming?” It takes all of the brunette’s will power to not throw her arms around the Agent but to finally take the bottle and lead the way.

“We should go. Food is waiting.”

“Sure”, Alex gulps, following her.

While Sam opens the wine, Alex helps Ruby take the lasagna out of the oven and for a second a sad look flashes on the Agent’s face. Ruby didn’t notice but Sam tries to ask nonchalantly: “Is lasagna ok? I didn’t know what you like, so Ruby and I decided together.”

Alex flashes her a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes: “It’s actually my favorite food. My mom always used to make it for me and Kara.” This eases the brunette. She doesn’t miss the sadness lingering around the redhead’s eyes, though.

“I’m so glad you like it”, Ruby interrupts in a bubbly voice, “Tell her, mom!”

Sam smiles bright and warm at her daughter when the three of them settle at the dining room table: “Ruby helped me with everything. I would even say I was only her assistant.”

Alex quirks an eyebrow at her in amusement and turns to her daughter: “Thank you, kiddo.” Ruby is practically glowing with pride.

 

* * *

 

 

Dinner is pleasantly easy-going and filled with a lot of laughter.

Sam tells Alex embarrassing stories from the time when Ruby was small, and they both grin when the teenager turns as red as a beetroot. Alex gives her some tips on how to get even better at soccer and Ruby swoons when the Agent retells the story of how she jumped off a building last year and was saved by Supergirl.

Ruby only hears what she wants to hear, the action, the adrenalin. Sam on the other hand ponders how dangerous the Agent’s job really gets at times. How often she has been closer to dying than living.

While they eat, the two women constantly send each other small smiles and shy grins above the rim of their wine glasses. It is one of the most pleasant evenings in a long time and Sam wonders if this is how a normal family life is supposed to feel like. Happy, carefree and filled to the brim with love. Sam wants this evening to go on forever.

All too soon, though, Ruby places the chocolate cake carefully on the table. Sam is actually a little proud how well it turned out. By now they killed the first bottle of wine and Sam feels the alcohol coursing through her blood making her sluggish and silly.

Oh, how good this feels, she thinks.

While Ruby and Alex cut the cake, she stands up to get one of the bottles Lena gave her. Both their glasses are empty, so she refills without a question. As Alex takes the first sip, she says: “Oh wow”, and a small blush creeps up her neck.

“What?” Sam asks.

The Agent looks embarrassed, staring sheepishly into her glass: “This wine”, Sam stares back at her waiting for further explanations, “I guess it must have cost a fortune because it tastes phenomenally good. Mine was like grape juice in comparison.”

Sam bursts out laughing. It’s sweet how much Alex cares. And slightly silly. “Don’t worry it was a gift from a friend”, she says wiping happy-tears from her eyes.

Ruby eyes her curiously but doesn’t say anything. Her answer makes the redhead even more agitated: “Then you should have kept it for a special occasion.”

“Alex, relax”, Sam tries to calm her, placing a hand on her wrist, “This is a special occasion.” The Agent doesn’t move her arm but still looks unconvinced.

“It’s true, though”, Ruby suddenly speaks up and Sam almost forgot she was sitting at the table with them: “You’re the first person we have over for dinner in National City.”

Alex looks at the CFO and there is something challenging in her expression: “Really?”

Desire begins to move in Sam’s abdomen like a lazy beast, she gulps and tries to not let it show. She isn't very successfull because her answer is not more than a whisper: “Yeah.”

Crackling tension begins to descend over them like a light fog and Sam slowly gets lost in Alex’ hazel eyes.

Abruptly, Ruby jumps from her chair, shouting: “I need to pee”, before she dashes from the table. The brunette feels her face turn hot and notices a pink tinge on Alex’ pale cheeks, too. They’ve been caught. The redhead busies herself with the remainings of her cake. She must still be out of it, too, because she smears some chocolate in the corner of her mouth.

It is stupid, but Sam cannot look anywhere else and nervously clears her throat: “Alex.”

“Hm?” the Agent hums.

Sam gulps. She wants to wipe the chocolate away but not with her thumb: “You have something there”, she points at her own lips.

Alex’ fork clatters on the plate and she begins to wipe her mouth hastily: “Is it gone?”

She missed the spot completely and Sam points a trembling finger at the right place: “No... there.”

She hears how her own voice got a couple of octaves lower and she internally rolls her eyes. It’s just some chocolate, she thinks and when Alex still misses it, she reaches across the table without thinking.

In one swift motion, she wipes the spot from Alex’ mouth. For some reason her fingers stay curled around the redhead’s jaw, pressed behind her ear. She can feel a raging heartbeat pulsing beneath her fingertips and Alex’ eyes become smoldering black lakes in front of her. She is so close to crawling over the table when Ruby slams the bathroom door extra loud on her way back. This time it is Sam who snatches her hand back as if she’s been burned. She springs from the table, saying: “Sweetie, can you help me clean the table?” when her daughter rejoins them.

 

* * *

 

 

The teenager can convince her mother that she is allowed to stay up a little longer and the three move from the dining area towards the living room.

Ruby decides to play Trivial Pursuit, complaining that she still has to settle something with Alex. The two of them are completely hogged by the game and fiercely competitive, although Sam knows that Alex answers some questions wrong on purpose. She can barely keep up with them. She’s mostly content with watching them play. It mesmerizes her how normal this feels, like they do this every evening, just the three of them having dinner and playing board games.

We’re not normal, Sam suddenly remembers. We’re a single parent with a serious health problem and an FBI Agent with a heart broken into million pieces.

No matter, though, how depressing her thoughts have become just now, Sam pushes them forcefully away. She doesn’t want to think about all the problems they usually have to face, about the storm that rages around them. She wants to enjoy tonight, needs to feel, to bask in this mundancy, in Alex’ shining presence. She wants to stay right in the eye of the storm for just a little longer. Eventually though, Ruby begins to yawn and answers more and more questions wrong: “You should go to bed, Rubes or this will get unfair”, Alex chuckles, putting a hand on the teenager's shoulder to keep her from smashing her face onto the game board.

“But I don’t want to”, Ruby whines and Sam’s mom-mode kicks in.

“You stayed up long enough, young lady.” 

Her daughter scowls, crossing her arms in front of her chest: “No.”

Alex and Sam share a glance and the redhead asks tentatively: “Why not? You look really tired.”

Ruby refuses to look at either of them, leaning back into the couch, steadfast on staying right there.

“Ruby”, Sam warns.

Her daughter’s scowl deepens then she says: “Because Alex will be gone tomorrow.”

This catches both adults by surprise. However, Alex, being the Agent she is, comes up with an idea instantly: “How about I tuck you in, hm?”

Both of them look hopefully at Sam and she smiles at them in agreement. ”Would you like that?” Ruby nods, without saying a word. “Then let’s get you to bed”, Alex says, patting the girl’s shoulder.

Before the two vanish into the hall, Sam mouths thank-you at the redhead.

After she put the game away, she produces a bottle of golden Scotch from her secret stash. Ruby thinks she only ever drinks wine and the mother is more than content to keep it that way. She just poured herself a glass when Alex comes back: “She’s out like a light.”

“Thank you, really”, Sam repeats and motions towards the second, empty glass: “You want some?”

“If it’s anything like that wine, give it to me!” she grins, adding, “And it’s no big deal.”

As the brunette hands her the glass she says: “It is for her.”

And for me, she thinks quietly.

Alex has no idea what this evening means to the two Arias women.

Together they return to the couch, falling into an easy conversation. Alex opens up about how hard it was in the beginning to have an adoptive sister and Sam confesses how awful it had sometimes been to be adopted. The Agent tells her the story of how she and Kara became sisters, a kid got killed at their high-school and the two convicted the man responsible. Sam shares her story of how she befriended Lena Luthor in college and how she never believed that the younger sibling was anything like her brother. Neither of them brings up Maggie or Ruby’s father.

The longer they talk the closer they slide on the couch. Sam folded her legs beneath her, resting her left arm on the back of the couch, her head propped on her palm and twirling the glass in her right hand. Alex has her legs crossed, the ankle of her left leg resting on her right knee, her back pressed firmly into the cushions and her right arm dangerously close to Sam’s elbow.

The longer they talk the smaller the distance becomes between Alex’ fingertips and Sam’s arm. Silently, the brunette lets her eyes roam over the redhead’s body. Her shirt is tight on her torso and she can make out the muscles of her upper arms beneath the sleeves. Her mouth gets dry when she imagines how those strong arms press her into the cushions behind her, how they would flex when Alex would pick her up and how they would ripple when the Agent's fingers worked between her legs.

She swallows hard and presses her legs together.

Stop it Arias, she scolds herself, you’re not some horny teenager.

But the last time she had sex was ages ago and the last time she spent a night with a woman even longer and Alex...Alex is just so handsome and gorgeous.

The alcohol does the rest.

She sees how Alex’ mouth moves, not hearing the words, her brain imagining those lips doing something else than talking. She’s startled, when Alex’ fingers brush against her elbow and she comes out of her haze: “You ok?”

Sam gulps, nods and lets out a shaky: “Yeah, all good.”

“Are you tired?” the redhead asks, checking the time on her phone, “Oh shoot. It’s gotten pretty late.”

Sam wants to pounce on the Agent just to keep her there longer, though, she manages to restrain her flaring desire: “Do you want to leave?” she asks, her voice low and husky.

Alex stares at her with blown pupils and an unreadable expression: “No.”

Sam’s arm falls next to Alex’ on the back of the couch and she can almost touch the Agent’s collarbone. Alex’ fingers dance across her forearm in gentle, long strokes and the touch makes Sam shiver. The air between them gets so thick one could cut it with a knife.

Suddenly, though, Alex stops the motion, stands up and puts her empty glass on the coffee table: “I should go, though. It’s late and tomorrow is a work day.”

It’s a lame excuse and they both know it, but Sam promised herself she wouldn’t pressure the Agent again. She rises too, placing her glass next to Alex’: “Let me walk you out”, she rumbles. She can feel Alex burning holes in her back, as she walks into the hall. It sets her skin ablaze and makes her resolve crumble. Stupid alcohol.

While Alex shrugs into her jacket, Sam takes the helmet and opens the front door. The fresh night air is soothing on her heated skin and she lets it wash over her in the deserted driveway. Alex steps around her carefully. Sam can feel the warmth radiating from her and it’s almost enough for her to cave.

She wants Alex. Badly.

Instead of doing something she’ll might regret, she closes the front door, clutching Alex’ helmet tighter against her chest. Ruby might be asleep, but one could never be sure. Better safe than sorry. When she turns back around, though, Alex is standing way too close and she presses her back against the door: “I need my helmet”, the redhead says, locking eyes with the brunette, her gaze smoldering.

Sam gulps, shifting the helmet in her hold so that it’s stuck slightly between her waist and the doorframe: “Come and get it.”

The redhead takes a step forward and the brunette’s heart is in her mouth. Alex places her right forearm against the frame and her left hand against the door right next to Sam’s shoulder. She’s invading Sam’s space, calm and composed and powerful and the brunette's knees turn to jelly: “I need you to return my helmet, Ms. Arias.”

The way she pronounces her last name, makes Sam’s brain short circuit. The next second, the helmet clatters to the ground. The brunette yanks Alex forward by the collar of her shirt. The Agent falls into her, presses her with a thud further into the door and buries her nose in Sam's neck.

A quiet moan escapes the brunette's lips at the long-awaited contact and she holds onto the other woman for dear life, snakes one hand around her neck, burying her long fingers in short locks.

“Sam...”, Alex pants against her flushed skin and Sam trembles like a leaf in her embrace.

She arches her back further into the Agent’s touch and says equally breathless: “I want you so much.”

Alex groans, tightening her hold even further, but the CFO can feel her shake her head: “I can’t...I want...I wished...but”, she stutters.

Normally, this would be like an especially mean slap in the face. Sam, however, knows that Alex wants this too. She can feel it in the redhead’s raging pulse, thundering away under her fingertips, feels it in the strength with which the woman clings to her, hears it in her shaking voice.

This is not a rejection. Alex feels this too and she wants this too and whatever keeps her from kissing Sam senseless on her doorstep is something bigger than crossing a line they cannot go back to.

Out of nowhere, there is a loud bang in the silent night and the moment is instantly destroyed. Before Sam can react in any way, Alex spins around, pushing her behind her, one hand flying into her jacket and to Sam’s horror she draws a gun. Her posture is alert and rigid. Sam can feel the hand that presses her into the hard wood of the front door trembling, though: “Alex, what the hell?” she complains, and the Agent hushes her with a sharp command:

“Quiet!”

Alex scans their surroundings several times without saying another word. She must be scared, which is saying something, and Sam remembers that she already did the same last week during the soccer game. Something is seriously wrong.

Tentatively, Sam tugs on the Agent's shoulder: “What is going on?”

But the redhead doesn't budge not one millimeter and they remain in this frozen moment for what feels like an eternity.

Finally, Alex releases her hold, shoves her gun away and turns around. Her face is hard, her brows furrowed, and she doesn’t say a word as she picks up her helmet: “Hey”, Sam protests, searching for eye contact, “What was that just now?"

The Agent averts her gaze, saying from behind compressed lips: “I have to go."

This is it, Sam thinks, and anger flares up in her like a wild flame, this is enough.

She yanks Alex back forcefully and doesn’t care how tight her grip is around the other woman's wrist: “Are you seriously going to leave now? Just like that?”

Alex' jaw works. Sam can practically hear the gears in her head turning but she doesn’t answer.

The flame in her chest burns even brighter: “You do not get to do this”, she hisses, “You cannot freak out like this and wield a fucking gun on my doorstep. My twelve-year-old child is sleeping upstairs.”

For a second Alex’ eyes fly towards the dark window of Ruby's bedroom and her face crumbles.  It doesn’t dampen the brunette's rage: “You’ve been acting weird ever since the soccer match and I’m not going to take that shit one second longer. Tell me what is going on. Right now.”

She expects Alex to come back at her in the same heated way, to yell at her or whatever. The redhead is not a person to let people in easily, she even told her herself, but Sam has had enough. What she doesn’t expect is that Alex slumps slightly, her head hanging low, her red hair covering her face: “I cannot tell you, Sam.”

The rage in her has grown into a raging wildfire: “Why not?” 

Then the Agent breaks free from the brunette's hold and grabs her shoulders, shaking her lightly: “I wish I could, ok? For the last couple of days, I haven’t been thinking about anything else”, she sounds desperate and honest, “But I can’t! Not yet!”

“Then when?” the brunette wants to know, “Tell me!”

Alex squeezes her eyes shut: “I don’t know”, when she opens them again, they are scared and pleading, and Sam has never seen her like this before: “Just trust me, please.”

Her anger and frustration only evaporated slightly but she cannot deny Alex her wish, not when she is begging like this, not when she is this vulnerable.

Sam swallows: “You will tell me, eventually or you are in big trouble, Alexandra Danvers”, she warns her.

Defeated, the Agent nods and picks her helmet up for the second time: “I’m sorry”, she mumbles in a shaking voice, resting her forehead on Sam's collarbone.

The brunette gives her one last hug, whispering into her hair: “Don’t make me wait too long.”

Without another word Alex turns around and puts her helmet on. Sam doesn’t wait for her to mound the motorcycle and enters the house. When she hears the engine roar, she slides down the front door, pressing a hand to her mouth. Hot tears stream quietly down her face from the onslaught of emotions.

Amidst all the chaos she can feel a familiar darkness lurking at the edge of her consciousness. It hasn’t been there all week but tonight the young mother has no strength left in her to fight it any longer. Something sinister and evil lies in ambush inside her and it takes everything for Sam to stagger into her bedroom.

 


	3. Reign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Reign is in control again.  
> She finds herself confronted with something for the first time ever: Feelings. Blergh.  
> Find out in chapter 3 how the Worldkiller handles them!

From a spot high above the skyscrapers in the clear night sky, Reign observes the meaningless life of these meaningless humans in this rotten city.

She hasn’t been able to take over her host all week and it feels good to be in control again, powerful, meaningful.

Ever since she woke up on Earth, Reign wanted nothing more than to make it subdue to her. The humans call her and her sisters ‘Worldkillers’, in reality it is such an unfitting name, though. They do not intend to destroy this world. Under their rule it will be a better place, cleaned and pure. It has been her innermost desire to bring all the low-lives, criminals and sinners below her to justice as long as she can remember. It is her only goal, her drive, her mission.

To accomplish her domination on this planet she must seek her sisters, though. Fate already brought one to her, Purity, and she can hear the name of the remaining one echoing inside her like a long-forgotten memory: _Pestilence._ Once they are united, Reign will unleash their forces on these unworthy creatures, make this city burn. Eradicate all sin in its purgatory. That is what she is supposed to do at least, it is what the priestess told her.

But in the last couple of days, a new desire began to grow inside her, a certain longing, one she despises. It is all Sam’s fault. Before they had parted last week, Purity seized her up and said with a jeeringly smile: “You must keep your human better in check.”

Reign had been fuming.

She must admit, though, that her sister was right. Her host puts up too much of a fight, her resistance is remarkable and now her feelings even affect Reign. She curls her lip in an ugly snarl when Sam’s emotions wash over her again. It is a dizzying cocktail. One emotion, though, is shining bright and clear between the others like a white pearl in pitch black waters: lust.

Reign has never felt sexual desire, the longing to mate with anyone, it is beneath her and disgusting and nothing more than a distraction. Sam, however, is filled completely with it. Her feelings for a certain human are overflowing. Overflowing into Reign.

Therefore, no matter how hard the Worldkiller tries to concentrate on the noise wafting up to her, on the screams and cries of the innocent, the escalating heartbeats of the sinners, she is drawn to one familiar sound in particular. Alexandra Danvers’ heart sounds off tonight, faltering, stuttering and out of tune. Reign cocks her head to the side, listening closer. The human’s heart is beating so fast she can barely distinguish the individual throbs.

Something unfamiliar stirs inside her, something that binds her to this stumbling rhythm and to her own disgust she realizes it’s called concern. She shakes herself, to quickly banish the feeling. She is the Bringer of Justice, for Rao’s sake, she does not care about a single human.

But then she imagines how Alexandra Danvers’ heartrate explodes for entirely different reasons than pain or fear. In front of her inner eye, she sees the human withering and moaning beneath her in pleasure. Her muscles straining, her body arching and her mouth falling open in a perfect shaped ‘o’. She can almost hear the human panting and whimpering in her head. Reign curses. Her host is clearly insane and the Kryptonian feels loathing because she must endure these emotions. She doesn’t understand why Sam does not simply take what she wants. The Worldkiller is sure that her favorite human would not put up much of a fight, either.

They should just mate and get over with it. The more Reign ponders on this ridiculous situation, though, the more vivid her images of the redheaded human become, the tighter the burning sensation in her abdomen coils. She begins to feel flushed in the fresh night air. Unlike her host, who never remembers anything when she wakes up, Reign is always alert, forgets nothing since the Awakening. Currently, she wishes she could forget, especially the feeling of Alexandra Danvers’ breath on Sam’s bare shoulder or her intoxicating, earthy scent, or how her muscles move and shift under her pale skin.

Reign growls. She has no time for foolish things like this, after all she has a mission to carry out.

If Sam is not going to take what she wants, then I will, Reign thinks, dropping several feet in the air before she takes a sharp right turn, heading into the direction of Alexandra Danvers’ living quarters.

She lands on the roof. While she rips the door to the staircase open, she notices that the human’s heart has slowed down considerably. She doesn’t seem to move around either. Who cares if she sleeps or not. When Reign stands in front of the correct quarter, she casts a quick glance at either side of the hall. But all around her the humans are sleeping and it only takes one jerk of her right wrist to open the door in front of her.

Twisted and crumbled the metallic handle drops to the floor with a clatter.

The human quarter lies dark and quiet in front of her, there is only a small glimmer coming from the main area. Reign follows the light, taking her surroundings in. It doesn’t look like the human spends much time here, there is barely anything out of order and most surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust.

A picture frame lies face down on a sideboard. She thinks that human memories must be very fleeting things. Otherwise, why would humans need to catch and imprison precious moments on paper and phones. The ones they do not want to forget.

Which memory are you afraid of forgetting Alexandra Danvers, the Worldkiller muses.

Reign picks the frame up. Alexandra Danvers smiles bright and cheery at her, her arms curled around a smaller woman with dark skin who smiles equally wide. She stares blankly at the picture, shifting through Sam’s memories, to find out who this other woman is that is so close to the redhead. Sam has met her, once, and she was very important to Alexandra Danvers but that’s over.

Humans and their fleeting relations to each other, what nonsense! Reign smashes the frame back onto the sideboard. The glass splinters. She doesn’t care and stalks closer towards the light.

She doesn’t care either about the human’s past affiliations with others, all she knows is that Alexandra Danvers is hers now. At least until her host stops thinking about the redhead so annoyingly much. The Worldkiller is ready to simply grab the human’s face and smash their lips together, to silence this growing desire in her. When she rounds the couch, she falters in her steps, instead.

Alexandra lies curled up in the dark, in a tank top and sweat pants, a blanket knotted around her calves that doesn’t cover anything anymore of her body. She is sweating, and her face is contorted by hurt and fear. She reeks of alcohol. Reign inevitably screws up her nose. The next moment, her boot hits a glass bottle and it rolls several feet away. No liquor lands on the floor because the bottle is empty.

For a couple of moments, Reign is completely transfixed and doesn’t know what to do. She has always taken Alexandra to be one of the few stronger humans, one that may be worth to keep alive. She values the human’s sense for justice, her seriousness and determination. This image crumbles now, though, when she watches Alexandra take in shuddering, shallow breaths, curling tighter in on herself.

Anger explodes in Reign.

This human is weak just like all the others, weak and fragile and powerless. The Worldkiller wants to bash her head in just so these distasteful emotions in her would be silenced once and for all. She already raises her fist but then the human mumbles: “Sam...”, and Reign freezes in mid-air.

Her rage is replaced by something she cannot quite identify. It’s warm and pleasant and vile. Reign doesn’t know why but she sinks on her knees next to Alexandra. With her right hand she tucks some strands of red hair behind the human’s ear. Her forehead is cold and clammy.

Reign’s heart behaves odd, when suddenly Alexandra leans into the touch, presses her cheek against the Worldkiller’s fingers, the crease between her brows becoming less intense. Reign is dumbfounded. “You, stupid human”, she grumbles, stroking the red hair awkwardly.

Whoever created her forgot to equip her with the ability to handle feelings. Here in the dark, she is torn between killing the redhead, which is what her instincts tells her and making sure she is well, which is what Sam tells her. Reign is stuck in the middle somewhere.

While she sits in the dark next to the sleeping woman, she wonders where her wild desire went to, and why she does not simply has her way with Alexandra. She convinces herself self that it would be no fun if the human does not respond. It’s not because she has feelings. Blergh.

They are her host's anyways.

Even though it is oddly soothing to watch Alexandra sleep, Reign slowly grows restless. The noises from outside seep back into her head and the pleas for help and the police sirens draw her out into the night. After staring at the human for a couple of minutes, Reign gathers her in her arms, lifting them both effortlessly. Alexandra weights no more than a feather in her embrace.

When her head lulls against Reign’s collarbone, she realizes for the first time how easily humans can break, how fragile their bodies are, how sensitive the connections of their bones and veins. Reign briefly presses her jaw against the human’s hairline, before she sets her carefully on her bed.

She is unsure what to do next and lets go. But Alexandra laces two of her fingers between Reign’s.

The Worldkiller is so shocked at the contact that her other hand flails against the wall and plaster flutters onto the human’s nightstand. She breaks away and hastily tumbles through the nearest window onto a fire escape. Stupid humans with their stupid feelings.

She is about to take off towards the nearest police sirens, she has the urge to punch someone, when suddenly there is a voice above her: “Since when are we paying nightly visits to petty humans.”

Purity sits on the edge of the roof, her legs crossed, her feet dangling in the air.

Reign flies up to her and hovers in front of her sister with crossed arms: “What are you doing here?”

The woman shrugs: “I thought we could work on finding our remaining sisters”, then she glances down towards the still open window, “But it seems like you have more important things to attend to.”

Reign lands next to her and advances on her: “This is not my fault. These are _her_ feelings.” Reign snarls but Purity remains unimpressed.

“It is a shame how much power your host has over you”, she says, making a disparaging hand movement: “Julia will never come back.”

“It is just a matter of time until Samantha yields to me”, Reign huffs, so angry that her hands are shaking. She will not stand by idly while Purity questions her authority. Her sister laughs humorlessly, though, and says:

“I can see into your heart, too, Reign”, then she spits, “And what I see is doubt.”

Reign wants to punish her for her defiant words, but she guesses that would only support her point. She stays stoically calm: “I have no heart. What you see are Samantha's feelings, not mine."

Meanwhile, Purity has stood up: “You can try all night to convince yourself that that is the truth, but you cannot fool me.”

Her eyes are cold and white as they bore into Reign's: “You are supposed to reign in this city, in this country, on this whole planet. You are supposed to be our leader.” Then she shoves her shoulder: “Behave like it! We have no time for silly distractions.”

With her right hand she points down to the space between their feet, four stories down to where Alexandra Danvers is sleeping, completely obliviously: “Get rid of your problem!” Purity hisses, “Or I will!”

With one last warning glare, her sister takes off into the night, leaving Reign alone on the roof. Reign is fuming with rage as she leaves, too. She is in the mood to punch the living shit out of some undeserving sinner.

When she crashes right into a gunrunning scenario, she thinks that she must keep an eye on a certain redhead from now on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I have not made Reign too OOC. The update came earlier this week because it's a semester kick off present to myself. Next one comes regurlarly on Friday. Hope you liked it.


	4. Alex/Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex regains her consciousness and has a little meltdown.  
> Kara is a good little sister.  
> Winn makes an unexpected discovery.  
> Mon-El gets punched in the face.
> 
> Have fun with chapter 4!

* * *

 

The next morning, Alex has one of the worst hangovers of her life.

It is almost as bad as after her night with Sara Lance. She tries to hide in her lab and is happy that it is still early. She is alone so far, can keep the lights off and bury her throbbing head in her arms. Even the steaming cup of pitch-black coffee in front of her doesn’t help much. Her tongue is heavy, her body feeling drained and worn out. Last night she punished herself with drinking, drowning her guilt over her almost slip up in amber. She passed out on her couch, too tired and drunk to move to her bed. Her empty bed. Sometimes the void in it is so vast it overwhelmes her. On the couch, she feels less lost, less likely to drift into memories of happier times. Times she shared with Maggie.

Last night she worked herself into the ground between yearning for a past that is inevitably lost and a future she is too scared to go after. Caught between wanting Maggie back and moving forward towards Sam. She has been woken up from her nightmares this morning by a freezing chill even before dawn. After she had downed her first cup of coffee, she realized something was strange. She swore she fell asleep on the couch, she never made it into her empty bed and was instantly seized by panic.

Someone was in her apartment last night after she blacked out. She should never have agreed to dinner at the Arias household, she should have steered clear of them and keep them safe. Instead she had almost lost her head with Sam being pressed against her in all the right places. Sam moaning into her ear, Sam raking her fingers through her hair, clinging on to her like her life depended on it. Alex had been so close to kissing her. She had been selfish and careless and had a heart attack when something crashed behind them. Under the soft glow on the doorstep they were practically sitting ducks. Alex knows it is ridiculous, but every shadow was Reign, every rustling branch Purity and her heart was pounding away like a flock of panicked horses.

Despite her still lingering feelings for Maggie and the regret she feels for being so head-over-heels for Sam, she feels ashamed now in addition. Sam and Ruby are in danger because of her. Hence the drinking. Even before that night, Purity had been able to read her like an open book. What would she see now? Now that Alex' feelings are bubbling up as if they were boiling. Now, that she behaves like a deer caught in the headlights, whenever there is a noise she cannot identify or a shadow that is too blurry. If it were up to her, she would grab Sam and Ruby and hide them in a safe house so secret that not even J'onn knows its location. That would require spilling her feelings, though, and that scares the tough Agent almost as much as the Worldkiller's death threat.

She is convinced that Purity payed her a visit last night and bile rises in her throat. Her feelings for the tall brunette were slowly getting out of control, making her forget how she should know better. She cannot let something like that happen again, not until the Worldkillers are extinguished. She doesn’t know, however, how she will ever be able to keep away from Sam. Whenever she is near the brunette she can feel how the hole in her chest is closing, slowly but steady. If she is near Sam, she can feel how her smiles reach her eyes, how her own laughter echoes in her ribcage. The CFO is good for her and she could be good for the CFO. If only Alex hadn't drawn Purity's attention to Sam. Before she can wallow even more in self-pity, the door of her lab opens, and someone flicks the lights on: “Hey, Alex. J’onn told me you’re already here...why is it so dark?” Kara says.

The sudden bright lights hit Alex like a baseball bat and she groans: “Turn them off, turn them off”, while pressing one forearm against her eyes, waving the other wildly.

“Do you have a hangover?” Kara asks irritated and the redhead slowly blinks:

“No”, she answers annoyed.

The lights are too intense, making the redhead dizzy. The bottle of Scotch she spend the night with yesterday had been more than half full when she came home. This morning she found it somewhere on the floor. Empty.

The blonde smacks her hand against some metal instruments lying neatly in a tray on a nearby table and Alex hisses in pain: “Liar.”

“Ok. Ok”, the older Danvers groans, burying her head in her hands. She just wants to be alone, hate herself and later, after she downed another dozen coffees, maybe hunt for the Worldkillers. All her sensible thoughts concentrate on the question how to find the two Kryptonians. If she sees them locked up an chained and battered and bruised, she will be able to breathe more freely again. She hopes that everything will fall into place somehow, once they survived this Kryptonian legend. What she wants to avoid at all cost is that Kara asks unwanted questions and gets wind off her sensitive situation. She knows it's too late, though, when her sister sits down on another swivel stool next to her: “What happened? The last time you drank so much was...”, but Alex quickly cuts her off in a warning voice:

“Don’t say it!”

She has no need to be reminded of her awkward night with Sara Lance again. Kara holds her hands up in a defensive gesture: “All right but you gotta tell me what's going on.” It’s one of the lasts things Alex wants to do and she remains stubbornly silent. “Alex...”, her sister sighs and the redhead gets deterrent.

“It's nothing”, she grumbles.

“You, drinking your ass off on a work night, is not nothing”, Kara argues, and the redhead knows that she will not let it go.

Neither of them _let it go_ exactly in the last couple of months when one of them was feeling shitty. It’s what makes them such good sisters. Mute, Alex stares into her coffee a little longer. She wonders where to begin even and how she always ends up in such completely messed up situations. To her surprise Kara asks: “Is this about what Purity said?”

The Agent spins around so fast it makes her dizzy. Bad idea. She struggles to keep her coffee down. What she says next is not more than a gasp: “What do you mean?”

Kara rolls her eyes: “I’m not talking about the part where she said that you’re sad and lonely.”

“So, you heard it”, Alex huffs, dropping her shoulders. Now she must spill everything. Great.

Kara gives her an are-you-kidding-me-look and asks: “Who is it?”

The redhead averts her gaze. If she tells Kara, it all becomes real, her longing, her regret and her fear. Until now she could pretend it was all only in her head: “It's Sam”, she whispers.

For a moment the blonde is shocked into silence, staring at her with an open mouth, furrowed brows and like she just spoke Kryptonese: “What?” she gasps, eventually.

Alex puts a hand through her hair and says: “You heard me alright.”

“But...Sam... what...why?”, Kara sputters until very slowly realization dawns on her and she whispers: “Oh.”

“Yeah”, Alex drawls, her voice full of sarcasm.

“Well”, the blonde starts, “That’s good, right? Did you tell her?”

Alex considered telling Sam in the past, dreaming of a chance for them. Life decided against it, though, throwing more obstacles in her way with each passing week. Between blood tests, staged bank robberies and babysitting, the moment never feels right to come clean. Even less now because Purity caught a glimpse at her broken soul.

The Agent is furious: “Are you insane? Haven’t you heard what I said?”

“Whoa, calm down”, her sister says annoyed, “All I heard is that you have feelings for someone after...you know”, her voice becomes an inaudible mumble in the end.

The redhead sighs in frustration. She wished her broken heart was the only thing holding her back from confessing. Instead it is just another reason for keeping quiet, another reason piling up on Alex' shoulders. She is close to cracking under the pressure: “And that’s not what I have been saying, Kara!” She throws her arms up: “I cannot tell her, and you can’t either.”

“But...”, Kara tries to protest.

“Promise me!”, Alex interrupts her and the blonde nods unsure. Not in a hundred years or with a million words she could explain to Sam why they cannot be together.

“What are you so afraid of, though?” the younger Danvers sticks to her guns, “It's not like you have to fear that she doesn’t like you back because _man_ even a blind man could see that, even I can see that.”

The redhead gets more annoyed and frustrated by the second. This morning she has neither the nerve nor the patience to untangle the chaos in her pulsing head: “That’s not the point. It doesn't matter.”

Kara groans: “Then what is the matter? Last time...”

Then the Agent's patience snaps and she jumps from her stool and paces up and down the lab, becoming louder and louder: “The last time, Kara, I didn’t put the woman I lov...the woman I liked in mortal danger!”

Her sister stares at her open-mouthed: “Purity knows.”

“Yes, exactly! One of two psychos on the loose knows and I bet she’ll tell her BFF!” Alex shouts. Not caring how shrieking her voice has become. Now the words are out with no chance of taking them back. Kara is on her feet, too, trying to calm her down. She's reaching out for her with a concerned expression, the one that shows how she shares the pain of others. The more Kara Danvers is coming back, the more often Alex sees that face again.

“But you can protect her, Supergirl can, we all will.”

“No one can, ok!” Alex snaps, “Last night someone broke into my apartment”, she watches as her sister's eyes grow wide with fear and hurt. She didn't tell her, didn't want to worry her and still doesn't mean to. “They broke the steel handle of my front door like it was a fucking toy and left a hole in my wall, right next to my pillow. Guess who it was?”

“Are you absolutely sure? Can you remember anything?” Kara asks, and Alex shakes her head, resting her hip against one of the tables with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“I’m pretty sure and no. Scotch, remember.”

There is a fleeting memory though of someone carrying her to the bed, of fingers between her own. She did fall asleep on the couch, she is convinced of it. Was it simply an alcholoc induced dream? Or was it indeed Purity?

But why would Purity do that, Alex wonders confused, it doesn’t add up. That it could have been someone else never crosses her mind.

“Have you at least told Sam that she and Ruby are in danger?” Kara pulls her from her musings and the Agent crumbles.

“No, not yet.”

“Alex!” the blonde scolds her.

“I wanted to ignore them until I could be sure, ok? But then I had to take Ruby to her soccer match and I was there for dinner and then I thought Reign was there and...” Alex rambles. She is quickly losing this situation. Kara staring at her in disbelief and mild contempt is making it worse.

“You were there for dinner?” the blonde asks with her eyebrows raised very high.

Alex' silence is enough of an admittance and Kara points a stern finger at her: “You must tell her, she has a right to know, at least that she might become the target of one of the Three Horsewomen of the Apocalypse.”

“I know,” the redhead sighs, “She knows that something is up since last week.”

Her sister looks ready to strangle her: “Last...? I can’t believe you. How can someone so smart be so dump at times!”

“I’m scared!” the Agent explodes. She is never one to admit that easily but merely the chance of losing Sam is too terrifying to keep her feelings bottled up any longer: “What if she hates me? What if something happens and one of them gets hurt and she’ll blame me?” Then she lets out a humorless laugh: “And Sam would even have every right in the world to do so because, _oh wait_ , someone maybe tries to kill her because I didn’t know when to shut my big mouth!” By now she feels tears burning in her eyes and it takes all her strength to not let them fall. It’s all her fault.

If something happens to them, I’m the only one to blame, she thinks as her vision gets blurry.

Then Kara opens her arms, enveloping her desperate sister in a hug and they spill over: “Sam will understand that this is not your fault and she will not hate you. She likes you way too much for that."

Alex hiccups into her shoulder. She prays to any God she knows that Kara is right. “We will keep them safe, ok? You’re a top-secret special Agent and I heard that your sister is a super-hero.”

The redhead lets out a tiny chuckle: “Yeah and a real good one.”

“You must tell her.” Kara repeats and looks at her sister sternly.

“I know”, Alex nods seriously, wiping the tears from her eyes. She cannot cry at the DEO. Until now she was able to hold up the facade that she is physically unable to.“I just don’t know how much I should tell them, how much I can tell them, with the DEO and everything.”

Kara shrugs: “You should tell them as much as you deem appropriate. J’onn will understand it.” Alex nods again, letting out a long breath she didn’t even remember holding:

“Ok, we’ll do it.”

Kara smiles reassuringly at her and motions with her head to the redhead’s phone: “Then you should call her right now.”

“Jep, no.” Alex responds, but her sister shoves the device into her hands.

“I’m waiting.”

Her voice is a cheerful jingle and Alex grimaces. If her sister wants to, she can be terryfying. Nervously, Alex searches for Sam’s number in her contacts, her heart doing somersaults in her chest. She turns her back to Kara so that she doesn’t have to see her annoying smirk. Sam picks up at the first ring: “ _Alex?_ ”

“Hi...yeah...it's me.” the redhead stutters, hearing Kara snort behind her.

“ _What’s up?_ ”

“Uhm...well. You remember yesterday and how I didn’t know when I could tell you what’s going on?” Alex mumbles.

Sam remains quiet for a couple of seconds: “ _Go on_.”

“I think the time is now...I mean tonight...maybe if you have time", she stutters and punches Kara mockingly who laughs without hiding it by now.

“ _Sounds good, Agent Danvers,_ ” Sam hums.

Alex’ skin tingles pleasantly: “I'll tell you everything. I promise. I’m sorry that it took me so long.”

She isn’t sure yet what _everything_ will entail. In her state, the brunette would never want her. And yet they collided with the force of two planets last night, drawn in by each other's gravity. Her right hand jerks slightly, remembering the feeling of the curve of Sam’s waist, her heart beats faster, remebering her scent. Maybe Purity was wrong and she is not too broken to do something about her feelings.

Sam laughs softly: “ _It's ok. I can’t wait to hear it._ ” Then Alex hears some commotion in the background and Sam hastily adds: “ _I have a meeting now. See you tonight at seven-ish?_ ”

“Yeah, good, sounds good. Bye.” Alex breathes in a shaky voice.

“ _Bye_ ”, Sam says, ending the call.

Alex' face is burning red when she turns back around to Kara who has tears in her eyes and is clutching her side. The next moment, Winn stumbles into the lab, nervous and excited at the same time and says: “We finally traced the signal of Purity’s crystal thingy from Krypton, well technically _I_ did, and we know where the base is!”

Alex and Kara drop everything and follow him in a hurry.

* * *

 

 

Supergirl has to throttle her speed for the third time since they left the DEO when Alex' voice explodes in her ear: _“No one enters anything without me!_ ” She turns around in mid-air, sees the Legion ship catch up, J’onn at his side in his Martian Manhunter appearance.

Alex’ hangover was gone instantly the moment she and Kara followed Winn into the main office of the DEO. Since then, she was buzzing with an impatient and belligerent energy. Supergirl doesn’t like it one bit that Alex grunted: “We will catch these bitches and then I'll throw them into the darkest most forgotten cell we have and peal their skin off layer by layer”, when they prepared for the fight that is most likely waiting for them in the desert.

The heroine hopes that Alex will be guided by the same seriousness and rationality that makes her such a good Agent normally. Not the blind rage that everyone can feel rolling off her in waves right now. If they meet both Worldkillers in this god forsaken place, Supergirl cannot keep an eye on her sister all the time. She needs to know that Alex can take care of herself: “Alex, no one does anything without you but the same goes for you”, the blonde says into her earpiece.

" _What do you mean?_ ” Alex barks. The blonde flinches at how harsh she sounds.

“ _No charging in alone for you, too._ ” J’onn tries to calm his anxious Agent.

“ _Yeah, yeah_ ”, Alex huffs annoyed. Supergirl has a bad feeling at this whole mission.

Emotional-Alex makes mistakes and her sister has rarely ever been as emotionally invested in a mission as she is now. She swallows her worries, hopes for the best. While they rush past the never-ending wasteland beneath them, Supergirl muses that this hostile environment is the perfect place for the Worldkillers’ hideout. Everything around them appears barren, desolate and dead. The blonde shudders at the thought that this might be a glimpse of the future if they lose today, that this might be what Reign and Purity want to turn the world into. Then out of nowhere an eerie, jagged silhouette juts from the sandy ground. It reminds Supergirl of a twisted, contorted coral washed up in this yellow wilderness, stranded on land and it looks _so_ out of place.

“ _There it is_!” Brainiac shouts and the others catch on, too. The closer they come the more Supergirl is surprised by how big the formation is.

“Brainy, can you tell me anything?” she asks.

“ _It's a cave system_ ”, he answers, letting out an uncanny gasp, “ _The whole complex is traversed by tunnels. They go on for miles. It could take us days to search them all._ ” Supergirl thinks of a number of curses but Alex is faster:

“ _Shit! Let’s just hope that they are not hiding._ ” The blonde wishes more and more that they will not meet anyone.

The gigantic stone formation lies deserted in front of them when they finally touch ground. Not a single soul can be seen or heard. To Supergirl the silence is threatening. Alex is the first out of the ship, in full gear and with a murderous look on her face. She is packed to the brim with guns and the blonde does not have the heart to tell her that they will probably not even scratch the Worldkillers. J’onn casts her a worried glance and she knows that they both think the same: Alex should not be here.

They all gather in front of the entrance in a semi-circle. J’onn gives instructions: “We stay together as long as we can. If we have to split, we go in pairs, no one”, he makes a dramatic pause, staring sternly at Alex, “I repeat no one goes anywhere alone. I'll go with Brainiac 5, Mon-El and Imra and Supergirl and Danvers. Let's go.” They all share one last glance. Supergirl notices how Mon-El’s eyes rest an extra second on her. She shakes the thought off, squares her shoulders and then they step into the shadows.

"I downloaded a scan of the whole system and detected an unusual large cavern a little less than a mile in front of us”, Brainiac whispers as they wind through the creepy columns. Supergirl fears that one might crash down on them any second because of how askew they look. They move slowly through the narrow paths and Supergirl can hear how four heartbeats around her begin to move faster. Brainiac is too preoccupied with leading the way.

The air surrounding them is refreshingly cool, but the many dark corners, windings and junctions make it impossible to enjoy the pleasant breeze. Each of them fears that Reign and Purity wait behind the next curve. Eventually, the path opens up into a large room, a wide black stair leads into a small caldron. Everything is black in the space below them, simultaneously emitting a soft red glow. It is giving the superheroine the creeps. A shiny black console sits in the middle of the room and when they checked that no one lurks in the shadows the group descends the stairs, Brainiac and Alex already rushing forward.

Supergirl and J’onn hang back a bit: “Something feels off”, the blonde says and the Martian nods.

“If this is their base, I expected them to know of our coming", he murmurs, looking around warily.

“There is a mechanism here”, Alex says, running her fingers over the triangular slot in the heart of the console, “I bet it’s for the crystal. Winn do you copy?”

His voice resonates in all their ear-pieces as a crackling static: “ _The signal...bad...work...somehow._ ”

“Shit”, Alex curses and produces the crystal form one of her dozen pockets: “Here goes nothing.”

Right before she can plunge the crystal into the slot, Imra shouts: “Wait!” They turn around: “We cannot be sure what that crystal does. For all we know it might be the key to launch the self-destruction”, she argues and when they all look at her in disbelief, Mon-El puts a hand on her shoulder.

“She's right. We don’t know what that thing does”, then he turns to Brainiac, “Can you infiltrate it?”

He contemplates the console and says: “I can try at least. I'm not sure what electronic signals these are but I can sense them.”

Supergirl grabs his arm: "Well, I’m not sure it is a good idea to tamper with unknown Kryptonian technology."

“You may be right, but we have to do something”, Alex argues. Supergirl casts a doubtful glance at her.

"I already ‘tampered’ with something from Krypton”, Brainiac tries to calm her. The blonde remembers her coma after the first fight with Reign, “I survived that, then I can handle this, too.” Supergirl takes a step back, nodding reluctantly.

"Be careful”, Mon-El says and then Brainiac puts his hand on the slot. At first it looks like the Coluan is successful. The console begins to glow red and there is a mechanical hum as if a very loud computer boots.

But suddenly the glow begins to intensify, and Brainiac lets out a blood-curdling scream. Red sparks fly around him, he cannot retreat his hand and when Imra tries to pry him free, she gets flung into the nearest wall.

The next second, a voice echoes from behind them: “Aw, I hope your poor friend does not suffer too much before his motherboard fries.”

Supergirl whirls around and to her horror Reign and Purity stand at the top of the stairs, effectively blocking the way out.

“You bastards!” Alex shouts, already reaching for her gun but J’onn can hold her back.

“Now, now not so violent, Alex Danvers”, Purity smirks and waves a finger at Alex like she is a child that must be disciplined. It makes the redhead roar with rage.

Then everything happens in the blink of an eye. Brainiac is still whimpering behind them, Mon-El helps Imra to her feet, Alex struggles against J’onn's iron grip and Purity lets out a sonic wave that sends them all flying in different directions.

Out of the corner of her eye, Supergirl sees how Reign eliminates the two remaining members of the Legion in a flash. It takes only one punch from the Worldkiller to send Mon-El flying, then she advances on Alex. The blonde scrambles back onto her feet, is ready to throw herself between her sister and the Worldkiller when a right hook catches her full in the face and she is propelled into another passage. Before Purity blocks her sight, the blonde sees how Reign dodges several of her sister's attacks, flinging her into yet another passage as if she was a doll.

The worst that could happen is happening: they are being separated.

And Alex stands no chance against a Worldkiller.

Supergirl screams her sister's name at the top of her lungs but she knows it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and hope you had fun reading it :D If you did, feel free to leave Kudos or a comment. Even a smiley makes me all smiley :)


	5. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen when Alex must face Reign all on her own?  
> Will she be able to get back to her team?  
> Will Reign kill her - let's hope not!
> 
> Find out in chapter 5! Have fun :)

* * *

 

Alex slides through the sandy rubble like a sack of potatoes and when her back hits a smaller pillar, all air gets knocked out of her lungs.

She lets out a strangled gasp, tries to get back onto her feet. The anger gives her the strength to shake the pain off like water droplets. As she raises her head, she sees how Reign enters the passage, cutting her off from the rest of her team. Alex does not think about the implications her current situation entails and draws a gun, packed with an extra amount of Kryptonite in every bullet.

She empties the complete magazine in the Worldkiller's chest. Reign avoids most of them, dodging the remaining shots as if they were pebbles. Slight panic mixes with the Agent’s rage. It makes her tremble. She must get back to the others. Or die a quick death. There is not really a choice to be made.

"You should not have come here”, Reign growls.

“I’m so sorry that we busted your base...Not”, the redhead shouts at her, relieved that her voice sounds way more composed than she feels.

She reloads her gun and sees how Reign rolls her eyes: “That is not going to help you”, she says, demonstratively puffing her chest out against the oncoming bullets.

They fall to the ground, squished to little discs, being completely useless. Reign’s calm demeanor riles the Agent up even more. She throws her gun away and takes a grenade from her belt. It is the same kind that they used during the faked bank robbery.

“Try this!”, Alex shouts, smirks when she sees Reign's eyes widen. On the narrow path, the grenade’s effect is paramount. The blast sends both women flying. Alex bounces further into the unknown, further away from her team, from Supergirl.

“Whoa”, she gasps as she sits up in a cloud of dust and sand, feeling the ground shaking beneath her fingers.

“You fool!” the Worldkiller screams, making Alex' blood freeze.

Fine cracks, rips and crevices begin to appear in the stone walls around her and she gulps. She jumps back to her feet, takes off in the opposite direction of Reign. When the walls will begin to crumble around them, Alex wants to be far away from this passage. It stretches on forever, though, and after each fork, after each branch-off, Alex is more lost: “Come on!” she groans as the path in front of her splits in three.

She has no time to think and continues down the middle one with Reign’s voice urging her on: “Do you really think you can outrun me, Alexandra Danvers?”

What is it with these Worldkillers and names, the redhead wonders as she shouts: “Do not call me that! It's Agent fucking Danvers for you!”

Out of nowhere, the whole cave begins to tremble, and Alex is thrown to the floor. Sand and small rocks rain down on her, the cracks in the walls become frightening wide. Purity must have hit the whole formation with a sonic blast. Shit.

For what feels like the hundredth time Alex gets back up, coughing from all the dust and sand in the air. Her eyes sting. She can barely see a thing, but she knows she must march on. She prays that eventually one way leads her to freedom. This stupid cave must have more than one entry.

She has lost all orientation by now, blindly stumbling through passage after passage. Now and then she turns around to check if the Worldkiller is still following her. Right now, she can make out a dark shadow moving in the dust, but it could also be her imagination, when suddenly the ground breaks away beneath her. Her arms flail wildly beside her, trying to grasp anything that might save her from ending up as a red puddle on the floor. But there is nothing, and she sails helplessly through the air letting out one very long curse.

The impact is so severe that stars explode in front her eyes and she fears that every bone in her body is broken. With a sickening, wet sound her head knocks into a stone. She blacks out for a second. The pain erupting in her left shoulder and ankle wake her up again.

“Damn it!” Alex grunts when she touches the back of her head and there’s blood on her fingertips. She slumps back onto the ground. Tries not to vomit. This is not how she imagined dying. In her head it is always a heroic death. A meaningful death. _Maybe_ because she protected someone, _maybe_ because she got caught in the crossfire of a world-changing conflict but not like this. Not alone, never helpless.

The cave has not stopped shaking either and the rocks, coming down from the ceiling, are getting bigger and bigger. A deafening rumble fills the thick air and the Agent’s head feels like it's about to split in half. Then Reign appears on the edge of the hole she fell into. The last bit of hope leaves her. She swallows the bile rising in her throat and mumbles: “I'm sorry, Sam.”

Sam will so hate her after this. She will never make it to the suburbs at seven.

Oh, how Sam will rage for the things Alex' death denies her of. Oh, how much Alex will regret dying.

Reign lands easily in front her and Alex isn’t sure if she sees concern flash across her hard features. That stone must have fucked up her head real good. In her haze she notices how the fear the Worldkiller normally plants in her like an evil seed is absent today. She is too riddled with pain, though, to make any sense of it.

The Agent tries to drag herself away from the Worldkiller, but her strength is leaving her, and she doesn't get very far. With two long strides the Worldkiller is standing above her. Alex gives up: “Just make it quick”, she grunts, squeezing her eyes shut. Not in the mood to see the villain's smug smile when she rubs her out.

People say that in the last moments, your life flashes in front of you. To remember you what it was worth for, remembering you where you fucked up and where you didn't. Instead of memories, she thinks of people.

She thinks about Kara and her mom, about J’onn and Maggie. About Ruby and about Sam.

Now her biggest regret is that she can never tell the brunette how much she means to her. She will never be able to take Ruby into her arms again or tell Maggie how sorry she is that they were not meant to be a fter all.

But the final blow is a long time coming. She blinks tentatively. To her surprise Reign kneels next to her and she flinches.

“I’m not going to kill you”, she says in her contorted voice. Alex is at a loss for words.

 Did she drop into a parallel universe, or what is going on here?

 With a deafening crack a boulder comes loose from the ceiling, threatening to smash Alex' already badly affected head but Reign shields them both with her shoulder: “You’re serious?” the redhead blurts, trying to understand anything of this nightmarish situation.

Being saved by a Worldkiller, an apocalypse incarnate, is the last thing Alex imagined ever happening to her. Her head injury must be way worse than the pain suggests it. She is beyond confused.

Reign doesn’t respond, patting her suit to clean it: “We must get you out of here.”

With new found energy, Alex scrambles into a corner, pressing her throbbing shoulder against the hot rock: “I’m not going anywhere with you, are you crazy!” she spits.

Reign stares at her like she is a wounded animal left to die and says in a monotone voice: “Do you rather want to die here? Lost and alone,” then she casts a glance at the Agent's twisted ankle, “And broken.”

Furious, Alex lashes out with her good leg to kick her but the Worldkiller dodges it, placing one of her boots on her shin. Alex cannot move, not one bit, the pressure pinning her into the gravel. It's just enough to not be painful: “Must I break your leg again?”

"Fuck you!” Alex rattles, her breath coming out in short, hot puffs.

Reign's gaze narrows dangerously and the Agent wonders if she will kill her now, nevertheless: “Stop your absurd whining and get it together”, Reign hisses, grabbing her good shoulder roughly to lift her up: “You are Agent whatever Danvers. You are strong and determined and devoted to justice. I will not let you die in this dirty hole.” Her words make absolutely no sense to the injured Agent. Does she ironically have a fan in Reign?

Alex tries to push off her hand, but Reign is faster, smacks it away, holding onto her again: “Let me go!” the Agent growls.

Then Reign shrugs, lets go of her and Alex crumbles like a puppet on a string. She refuses to accept any help from a killer. Even though said killer is currently trying to save her life. It feels like a trap somehow. Making up her mind becomes harder and harder, though. Her vision is fading, there is still blood dripping from the wound in her head and she can only barely keep herself pressed against the wall.

She feels bile rising in her throat again and this time she cannot keep it in. She collapses onto her knees, pukes all over the Worldkiller’s boots.

“Rao, you are so pathetic and disgusting”, Reign says when she lifts Alex by her shoulders again.

“I hate you”, Alex murmurs, wiping her mouth, though, she slumps against Reign's taller frame. She is getting too weak to protest. She hates herself for it.

“Why am I even doing this?” the Worldkiller grunts and then she fully picks the redhead up. Bridal style.

Alex weekly pounds her fists against the Worldkiller’s sigil and repeats over and over again: "Let me go!”

But Reign’s grip on her is merciless and she must admit defeat. Reign could do anything with her right now and Alex would have to let her do as she likes. It doesn't happen often anymore that she wishes for Kara's powers. That she wishes _so_ hard to be stronger than her human bodies allowes her to be that it is painful. Right now is one of those moments. Being carried like this by Reign is humiliating. And she cannot do a single thing about it. Her cheeks are burning with shame.

“Why do you do this?” Alex mumbles. She never gets an answer.

They have waisted too much time with their arguing and the cave is finally folding in on itself. The sand falls down on them in steady streams, Alex can barely breathe, and the rumbling becomes so deafening she doesn't understand a word anymore. The next second the ceiling comes rushing down on them. Reign has just enough time to shove them into a narrow alcove. It’s not big enough for the two, even with the Worldkiller pressing the Agent so hard against the rock that her shoulder is on fire. Her face is pressed into the villain's shoulder and chest, she can feel Reign's skin on hers, hears her heart beating in her own head. She wishes to be able to put any kind of distance between them.

Reign is supposed to be their enemy, the bringer of their apocalypse, the one who ends their world as they know it. Not their savior, not her savior. It makes the throbbing in Alex' head worse. What is happening here?

She fades in and out of consciousness and it is only the other body pressed into hers that keeps her upright. She clings helplessly to Reign. In the end her survival instinct is stronger than her pride. Reign hisses while the remains of the cave crumble onto her back. For some reason Alex clings tighter to her. For some very odd reason she thinks it is nice to be the one protected once in a while. Even if her protector is of such a questionable kind. The next time they will meet, if there is a next time, she will gun her down regardless. While they wait for the quake around them to subside, Alex tries not to choke on the sand that seems to enter every opening her body offers. Her lungs feel like she inhaled a handful of dust, they burn.

Everything gets dark for a couple of moments and Alex ponders if it’s because she fainted or because they are buried under that many rocks. Reign's heartbeat is the only sign telling her that she is still alive. In this infinite yet utterly narrow space, she feels her strength fading. Each time she regains her senses for longer than a second, she asks: "Why do you do this? Why do you help me?”

The Worldkiller never answers her. Alex has no clue how much time passed but eventually she gets clean, fresh and _oh_ so sweet air into her lungs.

A coughing fit rattles her, when Reign puts her down in the shadow of a majestic stone column. It's only still standing because it is wretched between other crumbled columns. Alex spits into the sand. To her horror the saliva is dark and grainy. Reign is about to walk away without another word. With the last of her strength the redhead latches onto her cape: “Why did you really help me?”

She is heaving and ironically the fresh air burns in her lungs, makes her want to breathe less instead of more. Reign shakes her head, prying the Agent’s hand from her cape: “You don’t really want to know that.”

But Alex stubbornly repeats the question: "Why did you help me? Why didn't you kill me?”

"I should have left you”, the Worldkiller grunts. In heavy contrast to her cold words, Alex sees pity in her eyes. How did it come to this, the redhead wonders. Why me?

"But you didn't", the redhead pants. Talking and breathing at the same time becomes really complicated. Her ears are ringing: "Why?”

The Worldkiller lets out an annoyed growl.

The last thing Alex registers before darkness embraces her with open arms is that Reign kisses her hard and firmly on the mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter and leave kudos or a comment or a smiley :)


	6. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't make it to the suburbs at seven.  
> Sam is seething.
> 
> Find out in chapter 6 how our favorite CFO finds out that Alex does not work for the FBI  
> and how she meets the famous Supergirl.

* * *

 

Sam paces up and down in her kitchen, glancing at her wrist watch every ten seconds. It's three minutes after seven.

We said seven- _ish,_ she's not late yet, the CFO muses.

She finished work as early as possible today and Jess, her assistant, asked if she was sick. Jess told her that she came in quite late, looking rather distressed and was leaving early, too. At first Sam didn't understand what her secretary was talking about. She had dropped Ruby off at school and went straight to work afterwards. Suddenly, she remembered, though, that she cannot recall how she got from L-Corp's parking lot to her office. She plastered a smile on her face, telling Jess that she was indeed feeling a little unwell. She couldn't really concentrate much anyway, most of her thoughts already circling around what will happen in the evening. She hoped that whatever Alex wants to tell her finally resolves the tension between them, finally allows them to continue where they left of after their dinner.

It was probably the first time since their move that Sam is home when Ruby returns from school. Her daughter asked her with furrowed brows if something was wrong. The brunette told her that the Agent would visit in the evening. Ruby crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked questioningly at her mother: “I’m the last person to complain when Alex is visiting but she comes again? What's your excuse this time?”

“Ruby, first, you do not talk to me like that”, Sam warned but the teenager only rolled her eyes, "And second we have to...discuss something.”

Her daughter blew air through her lips and said mockingly: “Oh yeah? Like you almost ate each other instead of the chocolate cake?”

“Ruby!” Sam exclaimed. If Ruby put the brunette's nose out of joint  like this, the situation was dire. Things between her and the redheaded FBI Agent were reaching a stage, making it impossible to be avoided any further. It makes Sam nervous beyond words.

“You two really were not subtle. I’m your biggest fan but sometimes it's painful to watch you”, the girl shrugged.

Sam gaped at her with an open mouth. “I’m gonna’ order pizza. In your state you should not cook”, her daughter continued, began to pick through the various take-out menus they store next to the fridge. The brunette felt irritated by Ruby’s behavior, but she didn't really know what to say either. In silence, she sat at the kitchen counter, fiddling with her phone.

That was one hour ago, and the longer Sam sits there, the more nervous she becomes. She played a hundred scenarios for Alex’ visit through in her head, a hundred things the Agent will tell her raging from _I met someone and am head-over-heels in love with her_ , to _Maggie came back and you are invited to the wedding_ , or _The neurologists were wrong and you actually do have a malignant brain tumor the size of a walnut_.

None of the events lifts her mood or quell her nervousness. Then she begins to pace in slow circles around her kitchen counter, alternating between running a hand through her hair, nibbling on her thumb or checking her watch. This evening feels more and more like a turning point in her relationship with Alex. The CFO doesn't feel the slightest ready for it. When the door-bell rings, she is so far in her own head that she doesn't react at all. Ruby comes down the stairs, talks to someone at the door and moments later she enters the kitchen. The pizza box is so big that she needs two hands to carry it.

“It’s family size. I thought that fits the situation”, Ruby jokes when her mother stares at the box.

“Very funny, Rubes”, Sam groans. The things she would do to have her daughter's nonchalance about it all right now. Then again maybe Ruby only tries to play it so cool because her mother is a nervous wreck.

The girl puts the box on the counter and gives her mother a hug: “Don’t be so nervous, mom. Everything will be alright.”

The brunette presses the side of her head into her daughter’s embrace, letting out a long sigh: “I hope so.”

Ruby squeezes her tighter. “You deserve to be happy. And Alex too. I think you would be good for each other.”

Sam chuckles weakly: "When did you become so wise?” the girl grins proudly.

"I’ve always been wise. Alex saw that the second time we met”, then she straightens her shoulders and puts her hands in her waist in an attempt to imitate the FBI Agent: “Tough and smart. Deadly combo.”

Sam snorts: “You spend too much time with her.” Ruby’s grin only widens.

The brunette tickles her sides until her daughter is squealing with joy: “Now get out of here. She should be here any minute.”

Before she leaves, Ruby gives her one last serious look: “Are you sure she’ll come? She was odd the last time.” Sam thinks that no one can hide anything from Ruby and responds.

“I hope so. For her”, but when her daughter still looks unconvinced she adds: "She promised.”

That apparently satisfies the teenager and she goes upstairs. Alex' promises always have an air of absoluteness. They are like a vow, sublime in a way and close to a self-fullfilling prophecy. Alex is dedicated to her promises. Sam glances at her watch again. It’s twenty minutes after seven and although the CFO was so persuasive with Ruby only seconds ago, doubt begins to fill her thoughts, too.

What if she doesn’t come? Sam begins to pace again. She promised, she chants quietly.

Eventually though, she stops in the middle of the kitchen, huffs, annoyed by herself and begins to make a cup of tea. Her movements, however, are mechanically and her gaze glazed. She cannot stop thinking about what Alex will tell her, regardless how hard she tries.

When she looks at her watch again, it's a quarter to eight and suddenly anger jolts through her. The cup in her hands bursts: “Shit!” she curses, jumping from her stool to avoid the hot liquid.

The next moment Ruby stands in the entry to the kitchen: “Mom you’re alright?”

"Yeah, yeah”, Sam mumbles while she wipes the spilled tea from the counter and picks up the shards.

"So... she's not here, yet?” Ruby asks carefully.

“Apparently not”, Sam huffs, crunching the shards in her bare hand right before she drops them into the bin. She doesn't realize what she just did or that there is no blood on her palm.

“What if she doesn’t come?” her daughter continues. The brunette bristles. She slams her hands on the counter, says way louder than necessary.

“Then I’m gonna teach that Agent a lesson in making promises!”

Ruby flinches slightly. Sam instantly regrets her outburst: “What if it’s not her fault, though?”

The CFO buries her head in her hands for a second, tries to calm down. She is not angry at her daughter: “Baby please, could you go back to your room?" she pleads but Ruby’s face darkens: “This is adult stuff, ok? Nothing you have to worry about.”

Ruby's face becomes even darker and anger swings in her voice: “I’m not a child anymore! And yes, I worry because if you say that whatever is going on between you and Alex doesn't affect me well then you’re _damn_ wrong!”

“This is enough, Ruby. Go back to your room, now”, Sam bellows. She's knows she is behaving unfair and that Ruby does not deserve to be her punching bag, but she is getting angrier by the second. Calming down is not an option, apparently. For weeks now she has this quick temper, her patience a fuse, that is too quick, leading to her outbursts. It all started around the same time as her black-outs. She grips the edge of the counter in a death hold.

“Fine!” her daughter shouts back, spins around, grabs the pizza and stomps out of the kitchen.

Way to go, Arias, the brunette thinks and collapses back onto the stool by the counter.

Then she checks her watch again, realizing it is close to eight. Her patience is running thinner while she grabs her phone. She’s marching up and down like a caged animal and with each ring that sounds without the redhead picking up, she grabs her phone tighter.

Suddenly someone says: “ _Hey..._ ” and Sam shouts into the receiver: “Alex! Where the...”, but then she realizes it is the mailbox.

“ _This is Alex Danvers’ phone. Currently I am unavailable but if you leave a message, I will call you back as soon as possible._ ”

Sam sees red, immediately dials again. After the fifth time, she throws the phone onto the couch, screaming: “Alex, you idiot!”

She doesn't care that Ruby can probably hear her. She puts a hand through her hair, tries to calm the anger smoldering in her chest.

How could she do this? This is so unlike her, Sam thinks, staring at the couch as if she wants to set it on fire. She needs to know where the Agent is, just so she can pay her a visit and strangle her. In a flash, she grabs the phone again, dials another number. For several moments, she hears nothing but the dialing tone but eventually someone picks up. Before the other person has the chance to say anything, Sam hisses: “Where the God damn _hell_ is your sister?!”

At first the line stays silent but then Kara says: " _Sam is that you_?” she sounds confused and tired.

The CFO doesn't care: “Yes it's me and I want you to tell me _right_ now where I can find Alex!”

“ _Oh God_...”, Kara chokes. Suddenly, Sam feels like her heart is caught in a blizzard: “ _She wanted to tell you today...and no one called you...I’m so sorry_ ”, the blonde rambles and it sounds like she is holding back tears.

Sam feels torn between screaming further down the line or completely losing her nerve because Kara sounds a lot like something awful happened: “What are you talking about?” she asks.

Her voice is less angry, more terrified. It’s not a good mix of feelings. The brunette holds onto the armrest of the couch so tight that her knuckles turn white and her arm is trembling: “ _We completely forgot to call you...I’m so sorry Sam_ ”, Kara blurts.

Sam is really losing it. Horror scenarios unfold in her mind each worse than the last one. Naively she clings to the thought that Alex is too good of an Agent to get seriously hurt. The harder she clings, though, the colder the anger in her chest becomes, being smothered by something vile and dreadful: “What happened? Where is, Alex?”

Kara gulps, mumbling something incoherent before she stutters: “ _Sam... uh...please don’t get upset_.”

“I already am upset!” the CFO seethes.

Then she hears noise in the background on the other side. It sounds like many people talking hectically at the same time. And someone screams.

Now her anger is gone, and she is gripped by terror: “Where are you?”

“ _Sam..._ ”, Kara starts but the brunette cuts her off.

“Where are you, right now?” she repeats, her voice wavering.The scream was agonizing, the echo still bouncing around in Sam's head. She refuses to imagine that it was Alex because she wouldn't be able to take it.

Kara is silent for more than a couple of seconds, so that Sam isn't sure if what she hears is the truth or a lie the blonde needed too long for to come up with: “ _I’m at a hospital_ ”, she says eventually and continues before the brunette can interrupt her: “ _Alex was on a very important mission today and..._ ”, she swallows and Sam's heart stops beating.

She’s dead, she thinks.

The thought alone makes her almost drop the phone. Instead she slides down the kitchen counter, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. The last time they saw each other they were arguing. The last time they saw each other Sam waisted her time with _almosts_ : _almost_ kissing Alex, _almost_ spilling her feelings. Now, she thinks that maybe _almost_ is as close as she will ever get with Alex.

“ _She's alive, Sam. She will be ok...but we really thought we lost her,_ ” Kara sobs and it’s breaking Sam's heart.

She's choking on her relief: “What...what happened? Who is we and where is she? Which hospital are you at?” she mumbles.

She hears how the blonde blows her nose: “ _She will be transported soon and... God, she wanted to tell you everything tonight._ ”

Sam gets more confused by the second: “What are you talking about? Can I see her?”

Kara lets out a long breath, sounds more composed all of a sudden: “ _Listen, Alex does not work for the FBI, but I cannot explain it to you over the phone. Stay where you are, and someone will come pick you up, asap._ ”

Sam is so surprised by the news that the phone slides a couple of inches down her ear before she can catch it: “Not the...not FBI? But where does she work then?” she stammers. She's feeling dizzy from the panic, the relief and the uncertainty. Doubtless, she wouldn't be able to move right now even if she wanted to.

“ _Stay put. Someone will come to you and take you to her._ ” Kara says determined and Sam has no other choice than to choke back her tears.

"Thank you, Kara.”

“ _Hang in there_.” the blonde says, ending the call.

Like in trance, Sam goes upstairs and knocks on her daughter's door: “Sweetie”, her voice sounds rough and teary and she clears her throat: “Ruby, I need to talk to you.”

“Well, I don't want to talk to you!” comes the answer muffled through the door.

Sam feels fresh tears in her eyes. She presses her forehead and her palms against the door: “It’s about Alex”, she chokes.

The next second, she stumbles because the door opens. Ruby stares at her with wide eyes and whispers: "What happened?”

Sam sinks down in front of her daughter, embraces her as tight as she can: “She got hurt, Ruby. She is alive, but it sounds bad.”

“Mom”, the girl whimpers and hugs her back.

The brunette strokes her shoulders, mumbling: “I called Kara and she told me and, sweetie, you must be strong now for the both of us, ok?” She wipes her own tears away and tries to smile but she knows it looks forced. Ruby nods cautiously: “Kara said I can see her even today, but you must stay here.”

Ruby instantly protests but Sam continues: “You cannot come with me, but I promise you baby, I will tell you everything when I’m back.”

Her daughter winds out of the embrace, saying: “You said that too the last time and then you didn’t even remember going on your trip!”

Sam tries to stay calm, to have patience with the teenager but her fear for Alex is clouding her mind: “I promise Ruby, I promise a thousand times that I will not forget anything this time.”

Her daughter still scowls but she is listening again: “I cannot organize any babysitter this late, so you have to stay alone”, Ruby nods and Sam adds, “Ok?”

Ruby crosses her arms in front of her chest and huffs: “Yeah, fine.”

The CFO hugs her again: “If you are not lying in your bed fast asleep when I'm back, you are grounded until college.” Ruby gives her a tiny smile and they hug again.

Then Sam goes back downstairs. She can barely think one coherent thought, everything in her is in too much chaos.  As she comes into the living room, she jumps with fright. Someone is standing in the shadows of the terrace and she flicks the lights on from inside. A yelp slips out of her mouth when she realizes who stands in her back yard: “Supergirl”, she whispers awe struck, opening the door leading outside.

“Good evening, Ms. Arias.” From this close the superheroine looks way younger than Sam always imagined. Even her typical stance looks less heroic tonight. There are dark circles under her eyes and deep lines on her face. In the twilight, the brunette can make out several superficial cuts and a harsh bruise blossoming on her right cheek. She looks the worse for wear and Sam does not want to imagine what Alex might look like.

"What are you doing here?” the CFO blurts.

“I'm your pick-up service so to speak. The DEO sent me”, the blonde answers calmly.

Sam furrows her brows: "The DEO? Who's that?”

Supergirl looks at her seriously: “The DEO, the Department of Extranormal Operations. It is the government organization Agent Danvers works for.”

Sam looks at her dumbfounded: "So really no FBI?”

The blonde shakes her head: “No ma’am. If you would please come here. I do not have much time.”

Sam is still trying to wrap her head around the new information, therefore she steps numbly closer to the young superheroine: “Uh...sure.”

She shrieks when suddenly the blonde picks her up and takes off into the night sky with her: “What are you doing?” she screams against the roaring wind.

“This is the fastest way, Ms. Arias. Please, stay calm or I cannot guarantee your safety.”

The brunette dares to cast a glance downwards to where National City flies past them. She gulps. She throws her arms around the blonde, mumbling: “Yeah. I’m calm. Everything is good.”

Before she even knows it, Supergirl bears down on two impressive dark towers on the outskirts of the city center.

I always knew that this was a shady government organization, Sam thinks and isn't even surprised when Supergirl flies them both through an open balcony and lands in the middle of a massive, open office.

Everything is made of dark, shiny metal. Computer screens are everywhere, and a hundred people are bustling around even at this hour. Winn Schott comes towards them when Supergirl lets go off Sam: “Welcome to the DEO, Samantha Arias.”

He hands her an ID card plus photo. Sam is still a little doddery from the flight. She stares incredulously first at the smiling man and then at the ID card: “You were at Kara’s Christmas party.” Then she stares at the ID card again: “And this is the picture of my passport how did you...”

But a deep and familiar voice interrupts her: “We are the DEO, Ms. Arias. There's almost nothing we cannot do.”

“Mr. Hankshaw”, the brunette gasps.

He comes closer and sticks the ID card to her blazer. She had been so deep in thought that she didn't even change after work, still dressed in her business suit: “Do not lose it", Mr. Hankshaw tells her in a gentle voice: “It allows you to visit Agent Danvers even if no one of us is here.”

Sam nods and turns back to Supergirl: “Can I see her now?”

The heroine nods and says: “Follow me.”

As they walk through several corridors with smaller offices and fancy labs left and right, Sam asks: “How does Kara know all these people? How does she know you?” She must make conversation to keep herself from imagining how Alex lies pale and half-dead in a hospital bed.

Supergirl looks embarrassed at her and it doesn't fit her at all: “Oh, you know they are all friends because of Al... Agent Danvers. And I know Kara Danvers because I let her interview me sometimes”, the blonde rambles. She seems even younger to the CFO. And in a strange way she reminds Sam of someone. Before she can grasp that thought, though, the blonde comes to a halt: “We are here.”

The medical bay doesn't look like any hospital ward Sam has ever seen in her life. The room is surrounded by glass walls, the five or six beds inside are surrounded by dimly glowing spotlights. Most beds are occupied.

In one of them lies a man who is clearly an Alien, his skin the color of a spring sky and three discs protrude from his forehead. Several chords and tubes are hooked to his body and Sam shivers at the sight. It looks creepy. Next to him lie a man and a woman in sportswear who hold hands over the distance of their beds. They let go when Supergirl and Sam enter. The man stares intently at them and opens his mouth as if to say something but then closes it again.

And then Sam spots Alex in the bed furthest from the entrance. A hand flies to her mouth, attempting to stifle the sob that is lodged painfully in her throat. She feels so shocked at the sight that she cannot go further into the room, she’s paralyzed by fear. Alex looks small and fragile, words Sam never associated with the strong woman. For too long the CFO lived with the naive idea that Alex is unbreakable.

“You can go to her Ms. Arias. She’s awake. But don't take anything she says too serious, she’s high on painkillers”, Supergirl says gently and tugs her along by her elbow, “She keeps calling me Kara", she adds. Sam nods numbly, nearing the bed.

Alex’ head is wrapped in white gauze, one of her arms is strapped tightly to her abdomen by a shoulder bandage and she is wearing an oxygen cannula. An IV is stuck into her left arm. Her skin has the color of ash. For a second, she looks more dead than alive to Sam. A relieved sob escapes her, when Alex turns her head, grinning dopily at her: “Sammy!” Her words are slurred, and her pupils are as small as pinheads.

She collapses into a chair next to the redhead's bed and has never been more relieved to see her. "You can stay here for a couple of minutes but not too long, I'm afraid”, Supergirl informs her and Sam mumbles:

“Ok, thank you.”

When the heroine turns around to leave them, Alex reaches out with her good arm: "Kara”, she whines, “Where are you going?”

The blonde fastens her steps and the redhead tries to lift from the bed. Sam is fast to jump from the chair, presses her back into the cushions: “Easy there.”

Suddenly, Alex begins to cough violently, her whole body shaking, her breath sounding wet and shallow. She curls into a ball and Sam helplessly says: “Alex? Are you alright?”

She tries to calm the Agent's fits by rubbing her back, but they don't stop and there are tears in the corners of her eyes. Stricken with panic, Sam whirls around, is about to yell for a doctor when a voice says: “Don't be afraid. This happens since she woke up. It will stop in a couple of moments.”

It is the woman from the bed beside Alex’ and as if on cue the Agent stops shaking beneath Sam’s hand: “Thank you, I... what even happened? No one tells me anything.”

The woman and the man share a glance then she answers: “We were on a mission in the desert. We pursued...suspects in a cave and the whole thing collapsed.”

“Oh my God”, Sam whispers, stares at Alex again whose chest begins to move calmer now, more rhythmically.

“We were lucky to get out alive. It got her pretty badly, but Agent Danvers is a tough human. She’ll recover before you know it”, the woman continues, smiling reassuringly at Sam.

The brunette says: "Thank you. I hope you will get better soon, too.”

The woman nods again, then turns back around to the man and Sam concentrates on Alex again.

The Agent finally calmed down, is lying on her back: “Hey”, she rattles and Sam whispers:

“Hey."

She laces their fingers. Her hands are the only part of Alex' body the CFO dares to touch. “How are you feeling?” the brunette asks.

Alex smiles lopsided: “Like I’ve been caught in a vacuum."  She snorts at her own bad joke and coughs again. Sam hands her the glass of water that sits on a small table next to them. Alex empties half of it in greedy gulps, sighing: “Thanks”, when she hands it back.

They stare at each other in silence for a couple of moments. Sam because she is still so relieved that the redhead is alive and Alex probably because she is too high to say anything coherent two times in a row. The brunette runs her thumb in soothing circles across the Agent's knuckles and says in a low voice: “I was so angry at you when you didn't show up tonight.”

Alex looks at her crestfallen: “I’m so sorry, I didn't make it.”

Sam shakes her head: “Don’t be silly. There is nothing to be sorry for. You got hurt so badly”, looking more concerned she adds, "What even happened to you?”

The dopey smile is back and the redhead slurs: “I’ve been kissed by the devil.”

Sam stares at her in wonder and slight jealousy. She is fast to shake the feeling off, pins it on the morphine: “There is no such thing as the devil.” But Alex grins at her, her eyes shining as if she knows better. Or they shine because a new dose of the opiate rushes into her blood.

“She is real, but we don’t call her devil. We call her _Worldkiller_.”

Sam shudders at the words but tries to remember what Supergirl said to her: don’t take her serious in this state.

So, the brunette ignores the Agent's disturbing words and says instead:

"I just wanted to tell you how angry I was because I left some very...verbally abusive messages on your voicemail.”

To her surprise, Alex wriggles her eyebrows, chuckling: “Uuuuuh, I’ve been insulted by a soccer mom.”

It seems like she is thinking a bit clearer again. Sam squeezes her hand tighter, grins softly: "Be careful, Agent Danvers. I may be a soccer mom, but I threatened to cut your nipples off and feed them to a stray dog.”

Alex' mouth falls open, she covers her chest with the arm that is not bandaged, and her expression is so terrified that Sam laughs. The woman in the other bed snickers quietly: “Remind me to never get on your bad side”, Alex says shocked.

“You have nothing to worry about if you tell me _what_ the hell is going on, _who_ are you working for exactly and what _happened_ in the desert”, Sam smiles innocently.

Alex gulps: “Yes, sir.” Then she averts her gaze, looks unsure. Her brows are crinkled, her mouth a hard flat line: “Is Ruby angry?”

It is an aprubt change of topic. Sam isn't surprised. Her mind is only slowly piercing itself back together, while Alex' must still be in a shambles. It is not the right time either for their talk. Sam puts her index finger on the redhead's jaw and tilts her head back until hazel is locked with amber: “We were both really scared. She just wants to hear that you are ok.”

The CFO strokes Alex’ cheek gently. The redhead hums contently: “I’ll make up for it”, she mumbles.

"Ruby ordered a family sized pizza for us and when I left, I saw the box. I hope she can even sleep tonight”, Sam tries to lighten the mood but fails when she quickly adds, “Do you think she can come visit you, too? Ruby I mean”, Sam asks hopefully.

She is not sure if she would be able to keep the teenager from visiting without turning the house into a war zone.

“I’ll talk to my boss”, Alex answers and her eyes get unfocused. Her breathing slows down, and the brunette can see how the Agent struggles to stay awake.

“You should rest.”

Alex shakes her head like a stubborn kid: “I don’t want to. You look so worried.”

Sam laughs softly again, kisses Alex' hand. She wants to do so much more than that. Black-outs and Maggie or not, Sam does not want to hide her feelings anymore. She came so close to losing Alex today. She could never forgive herself if something happened to either of them before the brunette came clean. Just now is not the best time when the redhead yawns, her eyelids fluttering close every couple of seconds.

“I should make you feel better not the other way around", she whispers, “Sleep now”, she adds.

“Will you visit again? I might be stuck here for a little longer”, the Agent mumbles. Her words begin to run together.

“As often, as I can”, Sam promises, and she means it, work be damned.

Then Alex shuts her eyes and begins to snore softly. The sound of her breathing, rattling, wet and stuttering makes worry settle deep in her.

“It is time that you should go, Ms. Arias”, Supergirl's voice comes out of nowhere, making Sam jump slightly in her chair. After she regained her composure, the CFO stands up and follows the heroine out of the med bay.

"Can I come visit as often I want?” she asks when they walk back the same way they came. The blonde thinks for a moment and says: "It should be possible as long as we do not have an emergency. Civilians are not really welcomed here, but in your case, we can make an exception, I guess.”

Sam is completely exhausted and drained from the emotional rollercoaster. Maybe she didn't hear correctly: “What do you mean, ‘in my case’?”

“Uh...”, Supergirl stutters. There's a pink hue on her cheeks: “You just look really close to Agent Danvers.”

Sam doesn't buy it; however, she is too tired to start an argument with National City’s resident savior now. Instead she asks: "I have a daughter, her name is Ruby. She is really close to Alex and I was wondering...it would mean a lot to her if she could visit, too.”

The blonde nods: "I see what I can do.”

Before Sam knows it, her feet touch the grass in her back-yard.

The terrace door is closed but through the glass she can see that the handle is in the horizontal position. She is not locked-out.

While she turns around, she says: “Thank you for everyth...”

She doesn't finish her sentence because she stands alone in her garden.

The ID clipped to her blazer is the only proof that she was gone at all.

She finds Ruby curled up fast asleep on the couch under a ton of blankets and every light in the living room is switched on. She switches them all off except for one, gently nudges her daughter awake and keeps her promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I hope that you liked the chapter and leave me a little comment or smiley. This week was the last of double updates for the time being. University sadly doesn't leave me with enough time to write much. Next update comes in a week.  
> :)


	7. Alex/Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is released from the DEO and pays a visit to Sam.  
> Maybe there will be a confession or two?
> 
> Read in chapter 7 how Sam finally gets some long awaited answers!

* * *

 

It is the beginning of February and National City has been hit by a fatal cold front.

The days are mostly grey and dull and today was especially bleak. In Sam’s opinion it never got light in the morning and when she finally left her last meeting, it was already dark outside. The last couple of days she spent mostly in darkness and artificial light, not feeling too comfortable in the presence of either. She wants to spend each waking moment in another kind of light, the soft reddish-orange glow of the lamps in the DEO’s med bay. Alex explained to her that they are sunlamps, their light helping Supergirl and other heroes to recover faster after a battle. Sam just likes the way Alex’ eyes glimmer when the orange light is reflected in them.

As some kind of compensation for the depressing day, it is snowing since around noon, the whole city being covered by a pristine white blanket. Covering up all the horrible things that have been going on lately. Sam stares at the swirling flakes from the balcony in her office at L-Corp, or rather Lena's balcony. It still feels strange to call this her office. In moments like this everything feels a peculiar kind of strange. It makes her wonder how she ended up here: in this city, surrounded by all these new people, with a mysteriously illness. Head-over-heels in love with a woman she knows a little more than four months.

Enamored by the white dots, the brunette holds a hand out to catch one. In the yellow-orange light from the streetlamps and windows the snow looks like it’s glowing slightly, in an almost golden hue. If she squints, Sam can pretend that drops of gold fall quietly from the sky. Blankly, she stares at the spectacle, dwelling on her thoughts, her work lying forgotten on her desk.

In the last couple of days, Sam and Ruby were frequent guests at the DEO, stopping by whenever the CFO's work allowed her to. Ruby got her very own visitor’s ID and wasn’t able to snap out of her amazement the first time she entered the facility: “Mom, this is where Supergirl works, right?” she asked excitedly.

When Sam told her that it was Supergirl herself who took her here the first time, her daughter almost fainted. Winn had given them a brief tour, so they knew where the bathrooms were at least. He showed them where they were not allowed to go to, too: “This is top-secret, like, even I am not allowed in there", he joked.

Sam made Ruby swear countless times that she would never wander anywhere except to the med bay without her. Keeping her daughter from Winn's fancy computers was quite a task, though. The two hit it off pretty good.

Everyone was kind to the two Arias women, nonetheless, Sam noticed how they all were filled with a nervous energy. The events in the desert clung to these people like a bad omen, like the remains of a bad dream after a sleepless night. The brunette tried not to let it unsettle her too much, she would get answers soon. Alex was looking better each time mother and daughter visited, her coughing fits becoming less abundant and less violent. Her skin less the color of a wet and faded newspaper.

Yesterday evening, Sam heard her arguing with her sister even before the med bay came into view. Alex was standing in the middle of the room on shaky legs, struggling against Kara who tried to maneuver her back to the bed: “I’m going crazy, I swear. Just let me go to Winn and I can help him locating Reign and Purity.”

Her sister shook her head in disagreement: “Only because we removed the oxygen today, you’re not fit again. You can barely walk ten steps without heaving.” Then Alex spotted them and froze in the middle of her next sentence.

“You're up!” Ruby squealed, about to run towards the redhead when Sam held her back by the hood of her jacket: “If Alex does not return to her bed this instant, we are leaving, baby”, she said in the most serious voice she can produce.

She wore a smile so sharp one could cut themselves on its edges. Both the Agent and her daughter stared at her in shock. Kara said matter of factly: “You should listen to the woman.”

The redhead looked like she didn’t want the threat to become real and returned to her bed, muttering something under her breath. Kara remained with the trio for a while, had to leave them eventually, though. It was similar every time, one of Alex' colleagues or friends remained close by and even if they weren’t Ruby was still there. Since her first visit, Sam has not returned alone, and she never caught the redhead in an unobserved moment. Something hidden deep inside her fumed because she must share the stricken Agent. She would have done next to anything for a quiet, private moment with Alex.

Nonetheless, she enjoyed her visits. Just seeing her, calmed the new nightmares that plagued the tall brunette since she first came to the DEO. In that first night, she saw the world burning in her sleep. Alex right in the middle of the inferno. She only fell back asleep because she curled both hands around the DEO ID, her personal totem to remind her that Alex was alive.

Over the days, she was slowly able to piece most of what went down in the desert together. Regarding her very personal situation, however, Sam was none the wiser compared to their dinner. It made her anxious, this not knowing what was going on, and considering Alex’ state it was more than a little serious. She had a feeling that Alex' injuries and the content of their talk were linked.

From the news she remembered, Reign, the rogue Alien that had defeated Supergirl in the middle of the city, less than two months ago. She always thought there was only one of them, though. The young heroine had stood no chance against the other alien and a shiver ran down Sam’s spine because she imagined what two of the sort could bring about. Since they were never really alone, though, Alex had not opened up yet. She began to wish as much as the restless Agent that Alex will be released as soon as possible.

Sam's head is swimming with these thoughts and she takes a deep breath of the crisp evening air. Everything seems to slip from her grasp these days: her work, her daughter, her-self. Since the night she called Kara, her black-outs became less frequent, though, afterwards she always felt like she ran a marathon. And currently no one has any time to spare on her. Sam had no other choice but to endure her black-outs for the time being. It was agonizing to be dependent on the mercy of something so random. It was terrifying to be the subject to such power, completely helpless. Alex told her that the blood-tests still didn't come back. That leaves her with nothing better to do than waiting. On top of it, they haven’t talked about their feelings yet either and it becomes harder each day to suppress them.

Each day when they see each other, the tall brunette wants to convey her many emotions for Alex in ways she is unable to with words. She wants to wrap her in a long-lasting hug, to tell her how much Sam values their friendship. Wants to gently press their foreheads together, cup her cheeks, to tell her how scared Sam really has been after the desert-fiasco. She wants to kiss Alex. Over and over. It is the only way she can make the redhead understand how important she is to Sam, make her understand what Sam wants for them.

Speaking of the devil, there is a sudden noise behind her and the CFO whirls around. Her office is only dimly lit but she can make out Jess standing in the crack of the door: “Ms. Arias? I’m sorry to interrupt but you...uh...you have a visitor.”

With a puzzled expression Sam steps from the balcony behind her desk: "Who is it? It's pretty late?”

“Ms. Danvers”, Jess is quick to answer.

"Kara Danvers?”

Her secretary shakes her head: “No, Alexandra Danvers, I was confused, too, at first...I didn’t even know there were two of them and you know normally, I mean, when Ms. Luthor was still working here...it was always...” the young woman rambles and Sam tries to calm her down.

“Jess...Jess...it’s ok”, the secretary takes a deep breath, smiles nervously. Sam adds, “Send her in, ok? And next time you can just...wave her through.”

With a wide, knowing smile Jess vanishes from the door: “Of course, Ms. Arias.”

As soon as she closes the door, the CFO spins around and tries to organize the chaos on her desk. She is shoving a mountain of crumbled wrapping paper into the waste basket, when she hears the door click: “Did I come at a bad time?”Alex’ voice sounds from the shadows.

For no reason other than that the Agent’s words have a playful ring, the brunette feels her cheeks redden and her heart beats faster. Heat washes over her in the chilly breeze of the still open balcony door. Alex has never visited her at work before and she can barely believe that she is really here: “No, not at all”, she answers, her voice higher than intended.

She just added her stapler to the wrapping paper because she was so fast to straighten up. Alex chuckles, stepping closer: “That’s good.”

The only light comes from the floor lamp behind the door and several desk lamps and Sam’s breath hitches when the Agent finally steps out of the shadows. She hasn't seen her out of tracking clothes or her hospital bed in weeks. She is wearing a black beanie and her thick winter coat bulges oddly on her left side. The jacket is hanging open. Alex is covered from head to toe in snowflakes and it looks as if someone rolled her in powdered sugar. Sam laughs softly, closing the distance between them.

She brushes snow from the redhead's hat: “Do you want to catch a cold in this weather?”

Alex crunches her face up when some of the cold powder lands on her nose. It’s adorable: “It's not my fault I can't close my coat.”

Only then does the brunette realize that the Agent’s arm is still bandaged, and she already tugs at the moist coat: “Here... let me."

Without waiting for an answer, the CFO strips her guest and puts the coat on the back of her desk chair. Alex is left standing in the middle of the office in nothing but a loose top and tight pants. Involuntarily, Sam lets her eyes roam over the dip of Alex' neck where it merges into her shoulder, the curve of her prominent biceps down to the muscles that twitch above her Ulna. She swallows.

She has a certain weakness for these muscles. It’s not because they make Alex look masculine. She is a woman, in every best way possible. And it is not because Sam wants or needs a knight in shining armor. She has been her own knight for the last twelve years. And yet the sight of Alex, strong and protective, rings a primal bell in her. When her eyes land back on Alex' face, she sees her smiling amusedly: “Tops are the only thing I get in halfway by myself.”

That snaps Sam out of her leering and she steps towards the small yet tasteful bar she never used before. She isn't sure if adding alcohol will be any good, but she needs something to calm the fluttering in her. Or more likely the storm that threatens to sweep the redhead of her feet to ravish her on the next best horizontal surface: “So", she starts while she scans the bottles for her favorite Whisky, pointedly not looking at Alex. “Did you break out of your prison or did they actually let you go?”

Alex’ voice sounds a lot closer as she answers. Sam's shoulders stiffen: “No worries, Kara made sure they checked me double and triple before I was finally released. I'm all good.”

Sam looks her over once, brushing her fingers briefly over the bandage: “You’re far from good”, she says dryly.

 _Good_ means not being patched up, _good_ means being able to dress yourself, _good_ means not being broken in so many parts. Alex cannot respond to what she says because the CFO is right. Before the silence can become uncomfortable, Sam clears her throat, holds up a bottle of Glenmorangie: "Want some?”

The Agent nods: “Sure.”

Drinking is better than this charged silence, it gives them time to brace themselves for what is to come. And maybe a little courage. Silently, the Agent watches Sam pour their drinks and when she accepts her glass, she says: “I actually came to talk.”

The brunette arches an eyebrow at her, cradling the Whisky against her collarbone, like a tiny ineffective shield: “I owe you some answers", Alex says.

Her voice is calm and steady. Only her jittery hazel eyes betray her composure. Sam clinks their glasses, she is so nervous that there are concentric circles in her Whisky: “Then to finally getting some answers.”

While they both take long sips, they hold each other's gaze. The air between them begins to crackle while Sam gets lost in seas of hazel. This time, she is sure that Alex’ pupils are blown by something else than bad lighting. They are drinking Sam in, swallowing her up. Her mouth is dry even when she gulps down her mouth full of Whisky. “We should sit for this”, the redhead mumbles.

Sam jokingly says: “What? Are you going to tell me the world is ending?” Alex’ expression remains serious, though, and Sam blurts horrified: "Oh my God, you are not going to tell me that the world is ending?!”

"No, not exactly.”

And then Alex tells her everything. About the DEO, her work, the Worldkillers and what happened in the desert.

Sam listens intently to every word she says, and her horror grows witch each sentence Alex utters. So maybe they are in the middle of an apocalypse.

More terrifying than the impending end of the world, though, is the thought that Alex is the one charging head on into it. Every day. Leaving Sam with _nothing_ to hold her back. Her glass is almost empty as the Agent finishes: "Why are you so desperately after them?”

Sam has always known that the redhead's job is dangerous, she is not that naive. It is a whole new kind of worry, sinking into the pit of her stomach, though, as she wonders: How many times have I almost lost you before we even met?

Sam can accept that this is the Agent's job, that this is what she does. But she sounds different when she talks about her work as a DEO Agent, proud, composed, calm. When she speaks about the Worldkillers, she is miserable in hiding her panic, her words too slow, too well prepared, the glass in her hands never stopping to move. There is something more to the Worldkillers than Alex wants to let on, a profounder fear than the end of the human race. The brunette sees doubt flicker in the eyes of the other woman, and the beginning of an excuse: “Don’t lie to me, please”, Sam begs, curling a hand above the redhead's knee.

The Agent promised her answers, truthful answers, not invented ones. In Sam's opinion she has a right to hear them. She is tired of being out of the loop, her heart is too tired to handle another surprise call from Kara. Alex shifts her drink into her other hand and pushes her fingers between Sam's. She stares at their intertwined hands while she speaks: “We already had one of them at the DEO, Purity, two days before Ruby's soccer match.”

She lets out a bitter laugh and shrugs: “I thought I was so prepared for her, that I was the one in control because she was sitting behind prison walls."

Then she looks at the brunette, her face pleading and full of shame. She looks raw and vulnerable and Sam wants to hold her with the intention to never let go again. Instead she tightens her grip around Alex' fingers. Tries to convey her compassion, reassurance and support through the tiny space where their fingertips touch: “She saw right through me, Sam, she saw everything. She knows how much you mean to me and that...that I have feelings for you."

Sam feels tears welling up in her own eyes, tightening her hold on Alex' hand even more. It's what she has longed to hear for weeks and weeks to no end. The happiness and relief blossoming in her chest feel tainted, though. The Worldkillers know. There are a million thoughts running through Sam's head. Still, she does not dare to interrupt Alex now.

So, the Agent continues, her voice breaking now and then: “When she escaped all I could think about was...if she would come after you...or Ruby. What if she hurt one of you? And it would be my fault and... that's why...I tried to push you away. And why I... I need to see them both in a cell...at the DEO. That's why I had to go on that mission and that's why I cannot stop. Until you are safe.”

In one blurry movement, Sam pushes her drink on the small coffee table and surges forward, pressing her lips against Alex’ in a desperate kiss.

Alex responds immediately, hungry and deep. Her Whisky spills somewhere on the floor. Neither of them cares, too lost in each other, too captivated by the weeks of pining that erupt between them now. By lips sliding against each other, teeth raking over sensitive necks, hands groping at whatever patch of naked skin they can reach.

Sam buries her hands in short red locks, curls them around Alex’ jaw and tugs her closer until she is almost sitting in her lap. She waited so long for this moment that she is neither gentle nor caring, kissing Alex with total abandonment. She rakes her teeth over the Agent's bottom lip. Her own mouth falling open when she hears Alex moan. It sends shivers down her spine. Her tongue is eager and demanding and Alex kisses her back with the same vigor, the same surrender. They are a mess and neither of them gives a damn. Finally, they have fallen victim to their own feelings, to their own desire and to Sam nothing felt so right in a long time. They kiss like this until they can’t breathe anymore.

Neither of them leans too far back, when they seperate. Alex' normally lighter hazel eyes have become dark with desire, gleaming like umber sards. It's all she can see. Meanwhile, Sam straddles Alex' lap, scratching her nails over the taught flesh above her shoulders. Alex is trembling beneath her, trying to push their bodies even closer together and the CFO wants her more than ever. She can feel Alex’ hot breath ghosting over her sternum making her inhale sharply: "Did you do all this just to protect me?”

She's panting against the Agent's ear and she loves how Alex’ grip on her hip tightens, how her whole body arches further into hers. She doesn't know why she asked. The answer is not important to her. It’s not the prospect of Alex' protection that makes Sam press their lips together, makes her go in deep and slow. Their breathing is heavy when they separate. Just enough so they can swallow fresh air. Just enough so that Sam's nose bumps against Alex’: “I would do anything to keep you safe."

She sounds equally breathless and then Sam kisses her again. Their teeth are clashing, Alex’ tongue battles her for dominance and Sam is losing her head, is losing all sense. She fears that they will never get a chance like this again, that maybe the next time Alex gets buried in a collapsing building or cave and doesn't come back to her.

So, Sam keeps kissing her again and again, hard and desperate and passionately while outside the snow falls in silence.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam barely remembers how she ended up in her own bed that night, even less how she tucked Ruby in.

It’s all a foggy haze, her brain no yet ready to come down from its high. She is not yet ready to come down from her high. If kissing Alex always feels like this, she will be addicted in no time. The moment she stopped her car in front of Alex’ apartment complex runs on loop in her head.

“You didn't need to drive me home”, Alex said, smiling softly at her.

“It's the least I can do. A cab would have cost a fortune”, Sam replied.

Already looking much more alive, Alex was still not able to drive a car, or her motorcycle for that matter. For a couple of minutes, they sat in silence, simply taking each other in before Alex cleared her throat: “Tell Ruby I’ll try to stop by this week."

Sam nodded and when she realized that the Agent was about to leave, her hands shot out. The brunette knows she will never be as brave as Alex, she could never put her life on the line each day like that, but right then she could put her heart on the line. She can be courageous in her own way. She took a long breath: "Alex, whatever this is between us, I want it. I want it and I want you, _God_ I want you so much and I cannot live imagining that you do not come back the next time and you...you...die without knowing it.” She rushed out, a lump forming in her throat.

On the one hand because she will never be able to chase the thought out of her head that maybe one day Alex _dies_ on one of her missions. On the other hand, the Agent might still back out of this. Because of her illness, or Maggie or whatever. That fear coursed through Sam's blood even though they had just spent the better amount of an hour making out on her couch.

Alex stared at her wide eyed, her mouth moving comically, and before her bravery could leave her, Sam continued. She needed to convey her feelings in that moment as much as she needed to breathe: “And I know, I’m not your dream girl probably, being a constantly stressed out workaholic mom and all the blackouts and stuff...and...and”, but then Alex cut her off with a chaste kiss.

It was sweet, tingling, and when the redhead retreated, Sam chased her lips with hers. Already addicted.

“I want this, too", Alex got out between short and innocent kisses that just barely concealed what they both really wanted to do.

The gear stick between them was the only thing keeping the brunette from crawling back on top of Alex. The only thing preventing her from running her fingers through short hair. She already noticed that Alex has a sensitive spot just under her hairline. When the CFO had ghosted the tips of her fingers over it earlier, Alex let out the most delicious sounds. The gear stick _really_ is the only thing preventing Sam from finding out what other noises she could possibly draw from the redhead. To hide her arousal, Sam let out a relieved laugh.

And she was relived, even in this misery she felt like a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. There is actually a chance for them. Alex smiled at her looking completely enchanted. Like Sam was the only thing she was seeing, the only thing worth seeing. It made Sam's heart swell. The next moment the Agent's face got serious, though: “But we need to...can we take it slow? The last time I rushed things, it broke mine and someone else’s heart and I'm still not over it. I don’t want to make that mistake again and there is so much going on...”, she trailed off.

They both thought about the Kryptonian Apocalypse dangling over National City like a hangman's axe. And Sam’s illness that remains unresolved, still.

“If we both survive this, I'll be waiting.”

Then the brunette placed a hand to the Agent's cheek, mesmerized by how warm and soft her skin was. Transfixed by how Alex' breath hitched she bit her bottom lip. "Can we keep doing this, though?” Sam husked, “I don't think I can keep my hands off you.”

Alex nodded, a devilish grin on her face, pressing their lips together again. Sam could feel a certain rush in their movements, a hint of despair because each kiss might be their last, because they almost never got the chance. She shoved the Agent back gently, gasping: ”Get out of here before I come over there.”

Come here so I can have my way with you, she thinks.

The redhead smirked: “We should do that when I’m not handicapped. That way it'll be way more fun.”

Sam snorted, slapping her shoulder: “Go, you...”

She couldn’t come up with what exactly Alex is because she is so many things, so many wonderful, gorgeous things all wrapped into one. She watched how the tough Agent had given her a small wave before she vanished in the entrance to her apartment complex. While she drove home, Sam thought that they must find ways to keep each other alive in the future. She was not letting her chance at a relationship with Alex be ruined by two Apocalyptic Horsewomen and a mystery-tumor.

 

* * *

 

 

At the other side of town, Alex is plagued by similar and yet completely different thoughts.

She is soaring from her meeting with Sam. She never would have imagined that their feelings for each other could fall into place so easily.

They have feelings. For each other. It's like a miracle no one saw coming.

Alex is swooning only thinking about it and because her lips still tingle with Sam's taste. She had had her suspicions about Sam’s feelings. Of course. They were all but confirmed after their dinner.

In the end, she would have never made a move, though. She convinced herself perfectly that she was only seeing things she desperately wanted to see and that situations like in the parking lot were only a serendipity. Or the situation on Sam’s doorstep the outcome of too much alcohol and too little sex for the both of them. The idea that they actually felt the same, that they both wanted to give this a shot, that they were in love the same crazy amount- it seemed like nothing more than a beautiful dream.

Furthermore, she could not have handled a rejection from the beautiful brunette. Despite of what she said in the car, Alex wants to be with Sam so much it physically hurt to walk to her apartment. And not because she bumped her bandaged shoulder on the car door.

However, she could not risk putting Sam or Ruby in any more danger, they had to keep things off the radar until the apocalypse was over. In all the chaos, their mutual feelings, their shared hope for a shared future after the Worldkillers, is like a silver lining on an otherwise pitch-black horizon. Every fiber in Alex is determined to reach that lining.

While she prepares for bed as good as she can with one functioning arm, she catches her face in the mirror above the sink. Some of Sam's lipstick is stuck to the corner of her mouth. She cannot help the stupid grin that blossoms on her face. When she wants to wipe it off, though, her brain gets bombarded by an onslaught of memories. It's like a storm erupting in her head completely out of nowhere.

Her ears are filled with that deafening rumble again, her lungs constrict painfully due to sand and dust that is no longer there. She gasps and has to cling to the sink.

She finally remembers how she escaped the Fortress of Sanctuary. Remembers being completely helpless, clinging to someone for dear life. Remembers tanned skin smeared with dust against her cheek. Remembers feeling safe in the arms of a monster. How Reign carried her through the collapsing cave, how she brought her to safety. Her eerie voice whispering over and over again: “Don’t die Alexandra. Hold on. Hold on.”

Alex presses a hand to her mouth to keep herself from screaming.

Suddenly, she also remembers why Reign saved her. She feels Reign's taste lingering on her lips all of a sudden, hard and cold like metal, instead of Sam's, warm and sweet like honey.

A horrible realization dawns on her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter although as you maybe can see I'm really bad at writing anything romantic.


	8. Winn/Reign/Lena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winn gets roped into a risky plan by our favorite DEO Agent.  
> Lena fears that the couch in her office lost its innocence  
> and Reign must be on alert.
> 
> Read chapter 8 to find out how the noose tightens around Reign's secret.

* * *

Winn sits in front of his work desk, nursing a cup of coffee very early the next morning.

Since the whole Worldkiller fiasco began, he likes to come in early, enjoying the quiet in the halls of the DEO before the next emergency hits. He uses this time to search old CCTV recordings, cross-reference data streams, searching for heat-signatures from here to the mid-west. Practices his personation of J’onn. Currently, he is scanning the ether surrounding National City for signals that are similar to the ones emitted by Purity’s crystal. They all know that the two Worldkillers they have encountered so far are only half the battle. He sighs because his search has not shown any results the third time in a row, when out of nowhere a hand is placed on his shoulder. The hold is firm, making it extra hard for him to suppress a yelp: “Agent Schott, we need to talk.”

Winn tenses even more in his ergonomic chair. If Agent Alexandra Danvers wants to talk to him, in private, it’s rarely ever about something pleasant. At least when they are at work. He gulps. “Sure, thing.”

Although there aren't that many people flitting around the DEO yet, Alex drags him into an empty office. One that's far away from the part of the building where the super-friends usually hang around. After she pushed him in, Alex closes the door behind her and locks it. Winn tries to get as far away from her as possible. He’ll never admit it, but the redhead can make him pee his pants just by looking at him. “I swear, I didn’t drink your smoothie”, he mumbles, mentally preparing himself for Alex’ piercing interrogation stare. It’s famous in these corridors, offices and labs.

“Cut the crap, Schott. This is about something else”, she rumbles.

Oh God, oh God, oh God, he chants and gulps again. What did I do?

Alex begins to pace up and down in front of him, making Winn more nervous by the second. At last, she lets out a deep breath: "I think I know who Reign is.”

For a brief moment he is relieved then the meaning of her words sinks in. His face scrunches up in confusion: “Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing?”

Without looking at him, she mumbles: “Yeah.”

He already knows he’ll regret asking: “Why do you look like the one time when Mon-El beat you in the sparring match, then?”

Her fiery gaze is in no way inferior to Kara's heat gaze. He wants to cower in a corner: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

She puts one of her hands through her hair, crosses her good arm in front of her chest, pushes it into her hip: “Winn, you must promise me that you are not going to tell anyone about this.”

Why does everybody come to him with their secrets? He nods.

"Not even J’onn and especially not Kara”, the redhead adds.

He nods again, with an uneasy feeling: “Ok...why?”

“Just listen!” she huffs.

"Alright, alright.”

She exhales: “I think it is Sam.”

 

The possibility is so absurd that he snorts: “Yeah, for sure.” Alex stares daggers at him. “Oh, you actually mean it.” With a disbelieving look, he turns around towards the door, back to Alex, points his finger over his shoulder. "You think...Sam is Reign? Sweet, innocent, soccer mom Sam...is a psychopathic, evil Kryptonian Death Bringer?”

Alex crosses her arms in front of her chest, giving him a look that says, _are you done yet_? If the situation would not be so hilarious, he would have never dared to make fun of the redhead like this. “You think Sam is Reign?” he asks, just to make sure.

“God, Winn, yes I do!” she hisses. Gaping he stares at her for a couple of seconds.

Then he begins to pace: "Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.” This does not make any sense, he screams in his head.

He is too terrified of Alex, though, to say it out loud. Instead he stops his pacing, claps his hands, asking: "Why do you think that, exactly?"

To his surprise, Alex goes very quiet, a light blush spreading across her cheeks. “If you just do as much as twitch, I am going to kill you and I'll make it long and painful.” Winn squeaks. Alex huffs, doesn't look at him. “I kissed her.”

Winn does his best to control his expression. To not twitch: "Whom?”

She rolls her eyes, makes wild hand gestures with her good arm: “I kissed them! I kissed her! Sam. Reign. I kissed them both, they kissed me. Rao, I don’t know!”

He blinks at her, unbelievingly: "Congrats?”

She smacks his head upside down. He yelps: "Ow!”

“This is serious, Winn! Get it together, for God’s sake!" she hisses. He rubs the back of his head, deciding it will be better for him to listen. Higher chance for all two hundred and six bones in his body to stay intact. He takes a deep breath, spreads his hands in front of him, palms down:

"Tell me everything from the beginning.”

 

Alex takes her pacing back up, looking almost as shaken as when Purity was at the DEO: “I know that you all think that I somehow magically saved myself in the desert. Before Kara found me." He motions with his hand for her to go on. "For a while I thought the same but yesterday I remembered what really happened.”

“Because Sam kissed you?” he interjects. Sometimes it's really hard to keep up with a Danvers' love-life. Kara is even worse than Alex, though. As much as Winn likes Mon-El, he always thought that him and Kara didn't go all that well together. They didn't click. Not in the way at least as Kara does with a certain infamous multi-millionaire. _Their_ relationship had looked like a struggle right from the beginning whereas the blonde always seemed at ease the second the young Luthor was in sight. Everybody could see it, but Kara stayed stubbornly oblivious. At least Alex does something about her feelings. Currently, she shuffles her feet awkwardly. The redhead is always so serious and composed that Winn forgets at times that there is another side to her, too. “I'm not going into detail.”

He raises his palms in surrender. Then a smile slowly makes its way onto Alex' face. It's shy and simultaneously bursting at its seams with emotions. Winn has not seen that kind of smile for a long time. It's _good_ to have it back, he thinks. It's _good_ to have Alex back. The one that smiles and laughs and is optimistic. He likes that Alex way more than the brooding, cynical shadow that occupied his friend for months.

“I’m head-over-heels in love with her and she likes me back at least a little, I think.”

Winn can’t stop himself from scoffing: "Yeah, you say that because you didn't see her when she first came to the DEO. And spending hours and hours sitting at your sickbed means she only likes you a _little_.” He accentuates his sarcasm with air quotes. Sam had looked completely devastated when Kara walked her to the med bay in the night of the desert-fiasco. Like she would simply fade away if Alex was not safe and sound: “ _Sure_!”

Alex drops her gaze, smiling sheepishly: "Ok, maybe more than a little. Bottom line is we kissed, and it was mind-blowing and we both want to know where this goes but we can't because the Worldkillers know.” Alex rushes out, her tone getting more depressed at the end of her ramble. Winn doesn’t bother to ask why the Worldkillers know that the two women have it that bad for each other. He's barely able to keep up with the story so far.

"What does that have to do with the desert and Reign, though?”

"It wasn't me.” He looks puzzled. Alex lost him. With stiff shoulders, she continues: "I wouldn’t have made it on my own." She clears her throat: “I would have died in that cave if it not had been for Reign.”

"Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?” That must be a joke. As far as he knows, Reign had the redhead pinned to the floor, ready to crush her like a bug, the last time they saw each other. In the end she hadn't killed Alex, though, in that hell of a train station.

“Reign saved me in the Fortress of Sanctuary. And she kissed me.”

The young Agent is at a loss for words for a moment, swaying momentarily on the spot: “That...”

“Makes total sense if it’s Sam." Alex says triumphantly.

“You gotta break that down for me”, he says, shaking his head.

“I only remembered what Reign did because Sam kissed me. It all came back shortly after. And all of Sam's black-outs, they always coincided with an attack from Reign. Ruby told me that Sam had her first black-out shortly before Reign first appeared. It all fits.”

Winn nods, but suddenly remembers something: “Didn’t you do a blood-test on her? How is that possible if she's Kryptonian or whatever she is.” Alex shrugs. She has no explanation, yet.

“I think that Sam is Reign’s human side just like Julia is Purity's human and that Reign somehow got affected by Sam's feelings...for...for me.” Despite the seriousness of their topic, Alex blushes like a peony.

“But if they’re the same person...”

The redhead interrupts him again. This feels less and less like a discussion. Alex already made up her mind:

“Remember Julia and Purity. The Worldkillers and their humans are not the same person, they merely share the same body. Think about Tyler Durden or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. They are completely different people.” Winn finally begins to catch on, clapping his hands. God, what a complicated mess. And if Alex is right, it will not get any better:

“Maybe like a virus or something...but on what basis? Genetical? Molecular? Do they have chips in their brains?”

Alex shakes her head: "I have _no_ clue.”

Lightly, he puts his hand on her unbandaged arm, he is afraid of his next question. Afraid what it will mean to Alex and her feelings for the brunette CFO: “Do you think they can be separated? That the Worldkillers can be...turned off or something?” Alex has no answer for him. His heart reaches out for her. He steps forward to wrap her in a hug:

“We’ll find a way to save Sam.” She nods into his shoulder. As he retreats, he asks: “But how do you want to make sure. You cannot really _ask_ her, right?”

“I don’t know what happened to the blood-test. That should have told us if she's alien, but I can't wait that long.” Her eyes glint with determination and a dangerous excitement: "I have a plan.”

 

* * *

 

Alex explained her terrific plan in all detail and after she finished Winn stares at her, his face as white as a sheet. “That's the _worst_ plan I ever heard from you. That's a suicide mission!” He hisses. Now, he is the one to pace up and down the small office, throwing his hands up in the air, gesticulating with his hands. “What if you’re wrong?”

 “I know I’m right.” Alex answers, confidently. He sighs, accepting that he cannot change her mind on this. The only decision he is allowed to make is if he helps her or lets her pull the horrible plan through alone.

 

* * *

 

Reign has been hovering over the abandoned warehouse for a solid ten minutes now.

The clamor from the city is a little quieter out here. Not that it helps her much. The thoughts in her head are too loud, drowning out anything else. She can only hear the gentle lapping of the waves against the rotten wooden piers because she knows the sound is there. She eyes the building again. It is just as corrupted and gone to rack like the whole neighborhood. Most windows have been smashed in, the walls either crumbled or smeared with obscenities. This place has no dignity. It is unworthy of their presence.

And yet, she can see Purity sitting relaxed on a half-decayed table in the top floor, waiting for her like she has all the time in the world. Since they lost their fortress, they have to find other remote places to meet, forgotten places, discarded places. In a city like National City, there are many in numbers. They just have to choose the same places. It is not like they can call each other over a human phone or brandish their meeting place with their sigil. Using Reign’s remaining crystal is out of the question, too. It is their last connection to the dark priestess. And by now it is worth too much to risk that the humans get their hands on it. It is more of a whisper carried by the wind that leads them to each other. A pull in the air around them, bringing them to where the other already is. Reign notices another presence in the building, weaker, _human_. She doesn't know him. She snarls in annoyance.

The last weeks have not transpired like she would have wanted to. The loss of their fortress has been disastrous. The _almost_ loss of Alexandra Danvers, too. As expected, the humans were gullible and naive enough to fall right into their trap. Blind like children. Her sister had activated her beacon and then it was only a matter of time until they would come running. Reign knew that Alexandra would be among them, hot-headed and furious, ready to battle forces far out of her league. Her bravery and boldness are only two of the many qualities Reign came to treasure about the fierce human. She was never meant to be there, though, the place too dangerous for a fragile human body. But then again, Purity was never supposed to make their fortress crash and crumble, either.

When her sister had proposed the plan to her, Reign did her best to keep her...to keep her _host's_ feelings at bay. They were spreading in Reign like a virus, no matter how much she despised them or struggled against them. Since the redheaded human visited her host and her spawn at Sam's quarters, her host's feelings are all over the place, all over Reign. Every day, she gets bombarded by them with nothing to shield her. All this _love_ makes the Worldkiller shudder and her skin crawl. But she cannot resist it. This is a part of Sam she has absolutely no control over.

The problem is that having feelings is not only outrageous and exhausting but also dangerous. Purity is able to read her more easily than is good for Reign. Can illuminate the most remote corners of Reign's soul, if she has one, and drag even the tiniest feelings to the surface. While she had carried an unconsciousness Alexandra through the remains of her fortress she wondered if Purity had made a second plan without telling her. A plan to get rid of Reign's problem for her. The Worldkiller got attached to her, though, not able to make up her mind whether the human  was still a problem or not. Not that Purity would care. Where she has faltered again and again, Purity would create a bloodbath. Part of her still wants her sister to be successful in eliminating Alexandra Danvers, however, it becomes smaller and smaller every day. She shakes herself in mid-air.

How does Sam manage to endure this all the time and for multiple humans? Reign has her hands completely full with feelings for only one. Their kiss flashes briefly in her mind, making her bristle. She cannot remember what compelled her to do it. Maybe Alexandra's annoying insistence, maybe Sam's bottomless sorrow at the sight of her loved one so weak and injured, maybe Reign herself. Perhaps she just took what she had wanted all along. Desire has a strange effect on her after all. And although kissing Alexandra felt somewhat stimulative or how her host might say, _enjoyable_ , she didn’t quite understand its means. If one of them always fell unconsciousness, kissing was a short pleasure.

She had rested Alexandra carefully against a stone, tucked a stray lock behind her right ear and took off. Alexandra had to survive the rest by herself. Reign could not risk that Purity found them like that. She is still hovering over the warehouse, stalling her arrival. She knows she must join her sister and the mysterious human eventually, she has no other choice. Purity is dangerously close to see through her game, making Reign wonder for how much longer she will be able to uphold her facade. It irritates her that her sister has so much power over her, that her host and Alexandra give it to her so easily. No one is supposed to be more powerful than her. Taking a deep breath, pushing all thoughts of Alexandra far down and away, she makes her descend.

 

* * *

 

Hours later, Lena Luthor opens the heavy doors to her old office.

Since she knows about her friend’s mysterious illness, she drops by occasionally to check on Sam. She tries to be subtle about it, always comes up with one excuse or another to visit. The disease, in all its obscurity and _especially_ in regard to Ruby, is a sensitive topic.

When it comes to her family, Sam is quick to shut people out, too used to handle things by herself, too scared to allow any help. A lioness protecting her only cub. Therefore, it had surprised Lena when Sam opened up to her and Kara eventually all those weeks ago. And that it was no other than Alexandra Danvers who lead her into Lena’s office at CatCo that evening. That it was the redhead who sat patiently and quietly next to her, her eyes full of compassion and support and something _else_ entirely.

The CEO has her suspicions about what she saw that night in Alex’ eyes. It’s a look she has seen from the Agent before, months before Sam entered their lives and until very recently it had vanished. And Sam? Lena hasn't seen her fall back onto another person like on the FBI Agent for almost a decade. The brief and very scarce relationships in Sam's life almost exclusively served one special purpose and only two men and one woman made it so far as to meeting Ruby.

Ruby had accepted neither of them the way she does Alex. Despite the fact that Lena loves to rile Sam up by exaggerating how much her daughter adores the FBI Agent, how she worships the ground Alex walked on, her words are nothing but the truth. Ruby has never loved any of her mother's past partners the way she loves her current _not_ partner. But Lena just hasn't been able to confirm her suspicions, yet. Maybe she can finally change that tonight.

Something feels odd about her office when she enters it, like something is missing but she cannot put her finger on it. She forgets her puzzlement as she spots her friend. Face only illuminated by the light of a desk lamp and the computer screen, Sam sits hunched over the desk. “Do I always have to order you to go home or does that thought occasionally cross your mind by itself?" she asks gently. Sam recoils in her chair, lets out a small curse and drops her phone on the floor:

“Jesus, Lena!”

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” Lena says while she comes closer. She doesn't even bother to hide the grin, spreading on her face. When Sam is nervous, she becomes very cute and endearing. In the hard, rough environment of high-profile business corporations that is mostly swamped with slimy, entitled men, Lena never gets to see this side of her friend. In a rush, Sam dives under the desk to pick her phone up, hitting her shoulder when she straightens back up.

“You didn’t. I'm okay”, she grumbles, massaging the sore spot. The raven-haired millionaire glows with mischievous glee. Someone definitely put the brunette's tight business pants in a twist and she hopes, it is someone with dark red hair and an adorable dimple smile. Even if they are not blood-related, that smile is a Danvers trademark. Kara wears it more often and sometimes better than Alex, but it makes them both very charming.

Lena sits down across from Sam, observing her friend intently: “You sure? You seem a little...jumpy to me.” Sam tries to be sneaky as she casts a quick glance at her phone and fails. Her brows furrow for a second, confusion and worry flashing across her features. Lena instantly knows that something is up.

“I’m ok, really. I just didn’t expect anyone at this hour.” She is barely able to look at her friend, keeps tapping her fingers nervously against the dark screen of her phone.

Lena leans back in the chair, narrowing her eyes: “Are you expecting something else perhaps?”

Sam should know better than trying to hide something from her, especially if she hides it so badly. Lena can crack people like dry walnuts. Sam’s eyes jump to her in surprise or because she’s been caught: “What do you mean?”

The CEO purses her lips: “ _Well_ , you have not been pouring over cross analysis reports just now.” Ah, she hit the nail right on the head. The brunette splutters. There's a deep red tinge on her tanned cheeks while she pushes the incriminating phone far away from her.

Lena goes in for the kill: “Are you waiting for a text from a certain gorgeous FBI Agent?”

Got you, honey, she thinks with a smirk.

Sam blushes an even darker shade of red, if that is possible, alternating between pulling up her phone and pushing it away: “How do you..." she mumbles.

 

Lena tilts her head: “A little bird told me...”

Sam deadpans: “Ruby.”

The raven-haired beauty chuckles: “And Kara.”

So, she was right in assuming that something is going on between her oldest friend and the older Danvers sister. In her head she dances triumphantly.

 

I knew it, she thinks smugly.

Now, Kara owes her fifty-bucks and a dinner. Not that she cares about the money at all, she only wanted to go out with the blonde. For a split second, she envies Sam. Things with Kara have always been a little complicated for Lena. When she found out about Mon-El, _well_ , her nights had contained a lot of Scotch. And when things were finally going back to normal between them, catastrophe after catastrophe piled onto their shoulders, murder attempt after murder attempt. And she kissed James Olson. Heavens, she still wonders what malicious demon had possessed her in that moment. James Olson of all people, it was ridiculous.

Maybe she should take a leaf out of Sam's book, gather her courage and just confess. Kara is too oblivious to ever notice without the words being spelled out for her. No grand gesture of swamping her office with flowers or grander gesture of buying a seventy-million-dollar company for her is enough to open her eyes. Shaking her head slightly, she concentrates on the brunette again: “I heard from both of them what happened to Alex, how is she doing?”

Sam takes a deep breath, exhales long and controlled. Remembering must still be painful to her. Lena can only imagine the Agent's state after what Kara told her. It had sounded awful. Sam’s heart is too soft, too caring to endure such sights: “Better...definitely better. She has a clavicle fracture, so her arm is still in a sling and breathing sometimes is troubling because of all the dirt she inhaled but she is recovering.”

 

“And how are you doing? You recently spend a lot of time with her.”

Sam fidgets under her gaze, nervously plays with her watch: “She...I... It was so scary, Lena.”

“I know, honey”, Lena says, places a reassuring hand on the brunette's arm, "But that is not what I actually meant.”

Sam looks at her like she knows that Lena sees right through her. She puts a hand through her hair and stands up: “I need a drink.” Each with a generous glass of Scotch in hand, they move to the couch. Sam takes a long swig.

“I’m in love with her.”

She says it without any doubt in her voice, proud and sure. The CEO wishes she could say those exact words in the same manner about Kara. Lena nods, a soft smile playing around her lips. Sam deserves someone to lie the world at her feet and Lena is convinced Alex would spread the entire galaxy in front of her like a carpet of shiny flowers: “Does she know?”

That is the one interesting question, isn't it, Lena muses quietly.

“Yeah...she was released yesterday, and she stopped by and...”, Sam stutters, her cheeks glowing, eyes darting all over the couch. Lena follows her gaze confused.

Eventually, it clicks, and she exclaims: “Oh, no! No, no, no. On _my_ couch? I hope you were still...”

 

Sam frantically waves her hands over the white surface of the furniture as if to assure its still lasting purity: “God Lena, I swear we were fully dressed!”

Lena glances towards the floor, the naked floor, the floor where a fifty-thousand-dollar carpet is supposed to lie. That's why she felt odd the first moment she stepped into her office. “We didn’t do anything on the floor either,” Sam rushes out.

Lena raises one eyebrow at her, motioning with her right index finger towards the empty space: “Where is my Braquenié then?”

Sam averts her gaze, bites her lip, mumbles: “Alex might have spilled Whisky on it. The dry-cleaner is trying everything to save it.”

For a split second, Lena stares her down like they were in a business meeting and Sam a slimy, sexist man in her way. Then she laughs: “You _really_ have it bad, huh?”

 

Sam graces her with a tiny smile. Then Lena furrows her brows: "But if she feels the same, why did you look so down when I came in?”

The brunette's face falls, her happiness slips from her like a dress she just discarded, leaving her emotions raw and naked for Lena to see. What she sees is fear, caught in the tears that collect in the corners of heavy amber eyes. If Alex makes her cry, Lena will break her neck like a twig. “Yesterday has been so great and today...Complete silence. I don't know what happened. I mean, yeah, we need to lay low for a while, but...”

 Lena interrupts her, confident that she misheard: “What do you mean, ‘lay it low’? Sam, are you in danger? What is going on?”

 Sam huffs, drains the rest of the Whisky. Then she fills her friend in on her current situation with Alex and the two lunatics who tear the city apart. What has Sam gotten herself into? She is not made out of things that can withstand the brutal force of a Worldkiller. When she finished, Lena asks: “And now you don't know if something happened or if she just ‘lays it low'?” Sam nods, still looking heartbroken. “Maybe we should go and find out. Do you have her address?”

“What? Yes...but what do you want to do?” Sam asks.

“We will...or rather _you_ will pay her a visit and I will fetch Ruby from her babysitter.”

 “No, Lena. You cannot do that.”

 “Oh, try me, Sam. You two deserve a night off and this is not up for negotiation.” She wants to make things better for her dear friend, release her from some of the shackles that bind her to the chaos that currently is her life. If forcing her to go to Alex, sit down, and talk through whatever keeps them from being together, is one way to do that, then damn well Lena will make it happen.

 

She can already see the two of them lying in bed on lazy Sunday mornings, tangled up in each other, peacefully and undisturbed. Can see the three of them during quiet family dinners in Sam's living room. How Alex plays soccer with Ruby in the garden. How Sam calls her, worried sick, whenever the Agent takes too long to come home after a mission. In that instant, she can see their future as a couple, as a family, crystal clear in her mind. And Lena will burn everything to the ground that stands in the way of that image becoming reality.

Suddenly, she wriggles her eyebrows, hopes to coax that tiny smile back onto Sam's face: “I bet the Agent's bed is way more comfortable than this couch, or the floor.” The brunette cannot stop blushing today. Eventually, she agrees with a small nod. “Perfect!” Lena grins. “Just let me go to the toilet quickly, then we can leave.” Sam nods again, hope mixing into the amber shine of her eyes.

When Lena comes back, she is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha have a surprise chapter because this chapter and the next were originally one chapter that got completely out of hand (again). As always I hope you like it, that you're still reading and leave Kudos, a comment or a smiley. Next chapter will come tommorrow. :D  
> (PS: I noticed a severe lack of Lena in this story and that's how this chapter happened)


	9. Alex/Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex sets her plan in motion.  
> Sam wants to find out why her girlfriend (?) is avoiding her again.
> 
> You wanted Reign and Alex to meet again? Read on and find out in chapter 9!

* * *

 

"Winn, do you copy?” Alex says into her ear-piece, the chilly night air ruffling her hair.

At last, she has been able to convince him to help. And to keep quiet about their little undercover mission. Kara will be so hurt, so angry when she finds out what they are doing here. And rightfully so. But Alex must do this, and she must do this alone. Since the whole drama with the Worldkillers began, the redhead felt banned to the sidelines. Being a weak human, she is of not much help no matter how much it angers and frustrates her. She only causes trouble for Supergirl when she is reduced to a mere token in the hands of Reign and Purity, gets her bones broken, her heart tortured, and her pride bruised. But this is something she can do, something only _she_ is capable of. No one else could be involved until they had cold and hard facts to present, facts that no one would be able to argue against.

Alex demanded from herself to be more than a hundred percent sure about Reign. If she opened up to Kara or any of the others with doubt tainting her judgement and was wrong in the end, then that would probably be the second worst decision of her life. Accusing someone of being a bioengineered war-machine on a moral killing spree without it being the truth, could surely end a relationship instantly.

Maybe she will hate me regardless, Alex thinks while looking out onto the city sparkling beneath her.

However, Sam must know, she has a right to.

" _As loud and clear as if you were standing next to me_ ”, Winn chimes.

“Good. Remember, when she is here, I’ll have to cut communication. You will be able to listen through the bug in the kitchen. If you’re not as quite as a mouse, I'm busted.” She forces herself to concentrate on what lies ahead, on her plan. A plan that has the potential of getting her killed, for the second time in less than two months. She's dead set on pulling through with it.

“ _Roger that_ ”, he confirms.

“Is Kara...preoccupied?" she asks.

“ _She left five minutes ago. She's meeting Lena for dinner. Something about a bet_.”

“Good”, she murmurs. Kara would be busy for the rest of the night, that is sure. If she is with Lena, Kara forgets the world around her, becomes wholly Kara Danvers, becomes wholly human. Because all the raven-haired millionaire sees is the human, all she knows is the human. In Alex' opinion, someone who loves Kara suits her sister way more than someone who loves Supergirl. But the blonde yet has to make that discovery for herself. Thank Rao, though, that Kara is with Lena because her plan would have blown up like an egg in the microwave if Supergirl suddenly showed up.

"Here goes!” the Agent murmurs, turning the spotlighter on that stands next to her on the roof of her apartment complex. A template is stuck to it with tape so that the screaming skull of the Worldkillers appears as a swirling silhouette in the clear night sky. It’s only a small beam of light, she doesn’t want the whole city to know, she doesn’t want _Kara_ to accidentally see it. She is convinced, though, that Reign will see it. No matter how small or how vague the signal would have been, the redhead is positive that Reign will answer her call.

Something tells her that the Worldkiller is watching her. It’s a nervous prickle in her nape, the feeling of blood rushing back into a dead limb. The whole day, she imagined those cold, red eyes to observe her every move. The apprehensive, paranoid feeling of being constantly followed had wrapped around her like a cloak. Rationally, the Agent knows that it is only her imagination playing tricks on her. Neither Reign, nor Sam have the time to follow her all day. But some subconscious part in her, a part that is all emotion, no thought, believes that she has a connection to the Worldkiller. That the secret of what had happened in the desert turns them into accomplices in a game only they know of, a very dangerous and very peculiar game.

After waiting for ten minutes in the cold, she turns the spotlight off. If Reign hadn't seen it until now, she probably wouldn't see it in the ten minutes to come. Of course, she could be in the middle of slaughtering a human trafficking syndicate, but Alex has a persistent feeling in her gut that that is not the case. All she can do now is wait, freezing her butt of in the chilly February air. In the meantime, she attempts to soothe Winn's nervousness as much as her own by talking through the plan again. It’s a short plan, there isn't really much to talk about. She begins to lose the feeling in her toes, when a dark shadow finally lands on the edge of the roof.

“Do you want to atone for your sins?” Reign's voice cuts sharply through the night.

Alex’ heart instantly beats faster. Although she expected the Worldkiller to show up sooner or later, the Agent is startled. Reign's appearance leaves her with no other choice than to follow through with her plan. Until her arrival, Alex had had the chance to call it off, all of it. Out of habit and instinct, her sound hand reaches for a gun that is not there. Reign’s sheer power, surrounding her like a cloud of black smoke, compels her to. Compels her to shudder, despite how hard she reminds herself to not be afraid. That she has nothing to fear.

“I don’t really believe in sins, you know. Keeps you from enjoying all the fun stuff in life”, she says, urging her voice to be sarcastic and mocking instead of fragile and scared.

Reign steps into the sparse light that comes from a single outdoor luminaire above the roof-top door. Alex notices that she looks different tonight, somewhat drained and tired, the intent to kill gleaming less prominent in her eyes. For a couple of moments, Alex holds her breath. It is the first time that she sees the villain after the desert and she can barely remember anything from that encounter. Now, with her suspicions sprouting unimpededly, the redhead can't help searching for traces of Sam in that black costume.

She notices that both Sam and Reign have the same stature, their hair-color is caught in the same way between bronze and honey and their skin seems to be sun-kissed even in the middle of winter.

And yet, Reign is so unlike the woman of Alex' dreams. Her posture too rigid, her expression too hard, her eyes too cold. Her whole demeanor is utterly different. The alien narrows her eyes: “What is this about then?"

Good question, Alex thinks. She told Winn that she wants this meeting to confirm that Reign and Sam are in fact; _what_? Not the same person because they could hardly be more different. Although, they _are_ the same, the same body at least, a shared mind at times. What Alex personally wants from this meeting, is something else, though. Every cell in her body knows that she is right. There is nothing of Sam in Reign’s face and yet the curve of their cheekbones is identical, the slope of their nose. Reign has the same faint wrinkles around her mouth.

At first, Alex was shocked when she made the connection, overcome by fate’s amount of cruelty. Gripping the sink until her hand hurt, she let out her frustration and fear in a fit of curses, screams and imprecations. She had screamed so long until her lungs were on fire, until every breath felt like acid in her windpipe. She _just_ got Sam, they _just_ gathered enough courage to confess and then this? How could anyone be so evil as to do this to them? Alex wondered what this meant in regard to her feelings for Sam.

_Do I have to love them both if I love one?_

_Do I have feelings for Reign because I have them for Sam?_

_And how much do they influence each other?_

_Did Reign save me because Sam wanted her to, ordered her to?_

Her head had been spinning so much that she collapsed onto her bathroom floor. Finally cracking under all the pressure, under all the shit that has been piling up on her for weeks and months. But after mulling it over, huddled under her sink, tears streaming down her face, she made a decision. Crying her heart out and wallowing in self-pity until she drowned is _not_ the way Alex usually handles things. The break-up with Maggie being the big exception. In contrast to her current situation, their break-up had been inevitable, something final, something she could not influence anymore.

Now, she still had that chance to change the outcome of things. She decided then and there that she would not give up on Sam, that Sam was not responsible for Reign's death-toll in any way and, ultimately, that there must be a way to salvage Reign.

Reign had done a lot of awful things, horrible things, without batting an eye. How much of that had really been her, though? How many actions did the Worldkiller fulfill out of her own free will and how many were orders she blindly followed. Orders she never questioned because they are all she knows. Maybe Reign's gravest fault is that she is being misguided, that she is used as a tool to plunge the world into eternal darkness, that she puts her trust in people who treat her like a _weapon_.

She saved Alex’ life after all. There had to be at least a spark of goodness in her. And Alex would nourish and raise it until it shone as bright and blinding as in Kara. Or she would lose Sam and that was out of the question.

Now, what she wants from this meeting is not only evidence she can use to convince the others but make Reign admit a thing or two. She only hopes that she will be able to achieve both things in the same night. The redhead releases a long breath, carefully choosing her words. This is going to be a tightrope act and there is no safety net ready to catch her: "I remember what you did in the desert."

Reign stares at her disinterested: "So _what_? I never knew you forgot in the first place.”

“I'm just curious, you’re known for purging humans and not saving them," Alex shrugs. It takes all her training as an Agent to remain calm. To stay calm where she wants to freak out, to be cocky where she is unsure.

The Worldkiller looks offended, lifts her chin and narrows her eyes: “Do not read too much into my actions. It was clearly a mistake.”

The way she says it, makes the redhead think that the words were not directed at her, that Reign tries to persuade herself instead of Alex.

The Agent crinkles her nose: "I don't think that you really believe that.”

In a flash, the Worldkiller is onto her, face twisted and pinched, planting herself in front of Alex: “You know _nothing_ about what I believe!”

Involuntarily, the Agent takes a step back. Reign’s power is overwhelming, makes her weak in the knees, forces her again to accept that she is helpless. Although she knows that Reign will not hurt her, despite her threatening gesture, she is scared. The Worldkiller is still scary. The redhead feels how her palms get sweaty. If she messes this up, everything goes down the drain: “You’re not like Purity.”

Reign's face darkens: “Of course not. She is just a newborn. Drunk on her powers and hungry for more.”

Alex shudders. They are both so powerful already. With any more power they will be able to evaporate the whole city with just a snap of their fingers. Suddenly, she feels awfully cold on the roof, the crisp creeping under her shirt, ghosting with icy fingers over her ribs. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it's the Worldkiller's presence, they are both equally icy: “That’s not what I meant", Alex says, opening the door leading to the staircase.

She wants to be somewhere warmer, somewhere less exposed and her plan will not work on the roof anyway. She leaves the Worldkiller alone in the beginnings of a new snow storm. It is a risky move, she knows. Reign could be so offended that she simply flies away or so offended that she tears the whole building down. Who knows. But Alex senses that she wields power over the Worldkiller, too. Not physical, of course. No one is up to Reign when it comes to physical power, not even Kara. The power Alex wields over the Worldkiller is of the kind no one can elude. It's emotions and feelings. Yearning, longing and desire. It's human, it's alien, it's universal. It's what binds all of them together in the vastness of their galaxy. And even Reign, in all her superiority, is not immune to it. And that's the difference between her and Purity. Purity is frozen to the core.

When Alex opens the mended door to her apartment, she hears the roof-top door bang. A relieved sigh escapes her. Curiosity got the better of the Worldkiller.

Of course, she would follow me, the redhead thinks with a satisfied smile.

Alex leaves her home open for the Worldkiller, to guide her right where she wants to have her. There is nothing she has to hide; her innermost secrets have already been uncovered by Purity. Without turning around, she proceeds towards the kitchen. This is still _way_ harder than she thought, although, everything plays out nicely so far. She pours herself a glass of red wine to calm her fluttering nerves.

She casts a reassuring glance towards her coffee machine, to where the bug listens from under the drip tray, to where Winn listens. Then Alex hears the hinges creak. Glass held tightly in her hand, she walks back into the hall.

Reign looks utterly out of place between the doormat and the coat hanger. Her dark eyes dart around the place, observe the spot where Alex ties her shoes each morning, the array of leather jackets in various shades of black, the dent in the wall a key left there many months ago when Alex and Maggie had tumbled through the door in a whirlwind of frenzy kisses. Then they fall onto the sideboard where a framed picture lies face down. And they stay there.

Reign's face twists in disapproval as if she already knows which memory the frame contains. Alex steps tentatively closer. She hasn't looked at it for several months now, the happiness contained in the picture had hurt too much. Being reminded of the perfect day she had spent with Maggie, aimlessly riding her motorbike on one of those very last days of summer, had been unbearable. So, she had flipped the frame and never touched it again since then.

The Worldkiller's eyes snap towards her like she has forgotten that the human is even there. The Agent takes a closer look and realizes that the glass of the frame is broken. Has _she_ done that? In one of the many drunken nights she spent alone between these four walls.

Fine glass dust mixes with the common dust on the surface of the sideboard. Alex hears how Reign takes a step backwards, sees how her cape gets tangled in one of her jackets and how she curses. In the act of freeing her cape, Reign rips the whole coat hanger out of the wall.

Alex has trouble choking down the laugh bubbling up in her throat. Who would have thought that a Worldkiller could be so _clumsy_?

It reminds her of Sam somehow, how the brunette fumbles and fidgets when she is nervous. Maybe they are more alike than it seems at the first moment. While she watches the plaster rain down onto her jackets and how Reign subtly tries to sweep together the mess with one of her boots, she realizes something: “You have been here before!”

Reign jerks, gets stiff as a board, says nothing, though. Just stares at Alex wide eyed. When the Worldkiller is like this, she is so easy to read, an open book. At least to Alex. The redhead sets her wineglass on the sideboard, picks the frame up, the remains of the glass tinkling down into the dust: " _You_ did this!”

Now Reign’s whole body twists and curls. As if she much rather wants to be anywhere but here. She remains rooted on the spot, nonetheless. Not being able to withdraw from the human's hold on her.

“You don’t know what you are talking about”, she says defiantly.

Then she purses her lips, realizing herself that she sounded half-hearted. Alex rolls her eyes, puts the picture down and grabs her wine again. She returns to the kitchen, confident that the Worldkiller will trail her yet another time. She points towards her bed, to the freshly renovated spot above the nightstand that stands out from the rest of the wall like a liver spot: “That was you, too. Am I right?”

Reign grinds her teeth as an answer, looking unhappy more and more. Alex positions herself strategically against the kitchen counter, careful to not touch its surface. Maybe this will play out like she planned after all. The Worldkiller crosses her arms in front of her chest, taps a boot against the floor: “What would it matter. What do you want to achieve with all this nonsense?”

Now comes the hardest part, Alex thinks. The part where Alex must lead her to the edge of a cliff, closer and closer without tipping her over, without falling down with the Worldkiller.

“I want to know why I'm so special to you. What did I do? Why me?”

The only sign that Reign even heard her is that she furrows her brows. She neither denies nor affirms it but at least she is still here.

“Okay. Don’t wanna’ tell me. That’s alright.” She shrugs, waving her hand between them: "Then I will talk some more."

She takes a long sip from her wine, hoping that the alcohol will disguise her nervousness, that it supports her show of nonchalance: “You are the literal devil. You are set on bringing the Kryptonian apocalypse to this city. You kill humans without batting an eye.” Reign scowls, clearly underwhelmed by the human's words. This is old news, she already knows that, knows who she is and what her purpose in this city is.

“And yet, in all your big cleansing and purging and whatever, you always spared me, and _girl_ you had enough chances," the redhead continues. Reign inhales sharply, her right brow is twitching. She looks pissed, steps closer towards the human.

Come to mama, Alex sing-songs in her head.

“I can break your bones with one finger, I can set you aflame only by looking at you. I can bathe your quarter in your blood and decorate it with your intestines before you can call for your frivolous caped friend", Reign threatens with a deep growl.

Her eyes are emitting red sparks so angry is she, sending shivers down the Agent's spine.

She will not hurt you, she will not hurt you, she will not..., Alex chants in her head, swallowing the rising fear.

She puffs her cheeks: “Yeah, all of you are good with big words, I know, but the only thing you ever did was break my Tibia." She mockingly shakes her good hand: “Uuuuuh.”

The vein on Reign's temple begins to pulse dangerously fast. Just a bit more, they are almost standing at the cliff's edge, Alex almost has her.

"But the other times you spare me and then you save my life. Makes one wonder, that’s all.” Her tone is intentionally mocking and derisive, poking holes in Reign's overly important pride. The Worldkiller steps even closer, her right hand convulsing as if she wants to squeeze it around Alex' neck.

"I am, for whatever reason, special to you. And I want to know why.”

Reign is seething, the muscles on her neck protrude and her hands are balled into fists. For a split second Alex imagines that steam shoots out of Reign's ears, that's how angry and coiled and stiff the Worldkiller looks. It’s a wonder she hasn't set Alex' apartment on fire, yet: "If you really remembered everything from the Fortress of Sanctuary, you wouldn't be asking these pointless questions. You are not able to handle the answer.”

"Oh, wanna know what _I_ think?” Alex asks smugly. This is it. Reign jerks her head, growls behind tightly pressed teeth.

“You _like_ me! That's why you carried me to my bed and out of that damn Fortress", the Agent shouts. “You cannot only not hurt me, you want to protect me because you have feelings in your cold and rotten heart and I mean something to you!”

And then right in front of her Reign snaps. The next second, she is standing in front of Alex, tall and intimidating, so close that the human can smell the lipstick on her. Her eyes are glinting dangerously, gleaming like coal, hot and fiery. Although this is exactly what she wanted to achieve, Alex jumps, the glass tumbles out of her grip, crashes to the floor where it shatters. She feels wine seep through her shirt, right above her navel. It's something she feels and simultaneously doesn't register at all. She is too transfixed by Reign who stares at her so intensely, she fears she’ll use her heat-gaze on accident. Her heart is in her mouth, her stomach drops, and her feelings are all over the place.

Get a grip, Danvers!

The Worldkiller comes even closer, presses her hip into Alex’, her cheek against the human's ear and her hands behind the redhead on the kitchen counter. A shudder runs through Alex at their intimacy. She tries to convince herself that it is because she has Reign right where she wants her and not because she is _scared_ or _turned on_.

What are you doing, Alex, she is the embodiment of the devil for Rao’s sake, she scolds herself. She's evil and a murderer and...

Her mind goes blank when Reign shoves a thigh between the Agent's legs.

Rao, does she even know what she is doing, the human wonders, trying her hardest not to move, to not produce any kind of friction.

As much as she persuades herself that Reign and Sam are not the same person, not two sides of the same coin but rather two coins with identical striking, she cannot stop seeing flashes of Sam in Reign's face. And her body is blinded by those flashes, betraying Alex by reacting to Reign with the same need and hunger as to Sam.

Shit, shit, shit!

Even as Reign, Sam can put the redhead under her spell with ease.

And in all honesty, some dark and remote part in Alex is thrilled by the way Reign towers over her, _almighty_ and _invincible_. All of a sudden, Reign's supremacy seems no longer threatening or frightening, it's _exciting_. Alex tries everything to ignore her raging heartbeat, the heat tugging in her abdomen, the way her fingers itch to touch the body in front of her.

This cannot be real, I cannot be attracted to her, no, no, no, she shouts in her reeling mind.

It's all because she looks so much like Sam, because Sam is the woman she craves so desperately. The human attempts to reason with herself. She is not very successful. “The feelings you think I have for you, they are not my own. I would gladly snap your neck right now and be done with you.”

The Agent trembles because the Worldkiller's hot breath washes over her sensitive ear. She bites her tongue to keep any noises down that might give her away. Shifts onto her tip-toes so that her crotch no longer practically rests on Reign's thigh.

“Do it then. Kill me. I'm completely unarmed, I'm injured, I'm an easy target.” Alex’ voice is a deep, husky rumble.

It's out of fear, she tells herself, not arousal. She wants Sam, not Reign, never Reign.

In the blink of an eye, Reign spins her around, smacks her upper body into the kitchen counter, grabs a fistful of her hair and smashes Alex’ face onto the hard surface. The redhead screams out in pain when her injured shoulder gets trapped between the counter and her own body weight that Reign mercilessly enforces. Through the sudden jolt of pain, the Agent notices that Reign is bend just like her, her front pressed into Alex’ ass, there's something round and soft behind her shoulder blades, Reign's breath still on her ear. She lets out a groan.

What the god damn hell, Danvers?!

"Now, you're not so chatty anymore, little human." Reign hisses, tightening her pressure against Alex even more. But then they stay like that. Neither of them moves, they are frozen. Only the Worldkiller's fast breathing can be heard in the otherwise deadly silent apartment. All of a sudden, just as fast as she pushed her down, Reign lets her go. Alex groans again because the pressure is lifted from her injury.

While she turns around, she says breathlessly: "Just admit it.”

The thrust onto her thorax makes it hard to breathe again, her lungs not yet strong enough to withstand such stress. Reign stares at her in complete shock. Disbelief is written all over her, into her rigid posture, her creased brows, her twisted mouth. Briefly, Alex wonders if Reign has similar thoughts like her, a similar predicament, caught between what she _wants_ to do and what she is _supposed_ to do. Then she looks like she is waging a war against herself, as if an invisible force holds her back from attacking the redhead again.

That force is Sam, Alex thinks in sudden awe, she is fighting her for me, she is _here_.

Then Reign closes her eyes, lets her strained muscles relax and for a split second, Alex thinks that she will look at the human when the woman opens her eyes again. They still lack the warmth and love of Sam, though, when they regard Alex with a mixture of contempt and something she cannot identify. Something that ranges anywhere on a spectrum between _hating her guts_ and _genuine care_. Before Reign dissolves into a black blur, leaving her apartment, Alex shouts at her for the second time: "Admit it already!"

She gets no answer. Can only stare with a heaving chest at the plaster that dances in a small spiral on her doorstep where it has been disturbed in its slumber by the Worldkiller's hasty retreat.

Groaning and hissing, Alex gets up from her slumped position against the kitchen counter. She fishes the ear-piece out of a pocket of her jeans, where she had shoved it the moment she heard Reign's voice on the roof: “Winn, you there?”

She forcefully silences the onslaught of emotions exploding in her, she has no time to think about them now. She returns to the counter, taps lightly on its surface and it lights up a midnight blue with a flurry of white smears, lines and spots. She sees a perfect imprint of her face squished against the counter and scowls. Between the bigger patches of white, however, she can also spot smaller ones, almost elliptical fingerprints: “Did it work? Did you get a good scan?”

“ _Well, I got a good scan of your unhappy face, that's for sure_ ”, his voice crackles to life in her ear.

An hour before Alex called Reign, she and Winn had installed gauzy foils on several surfaces in her apartment. They would appear invisible to anyone, instantly scan anything that touched them and send a high-res picture to Winn at the DEO. They wanted to get Reign's fingerprints. Holding her breath, Alex waits for Winn to tell her that they succeeded. He's stalling his answer: “ _Are you alright over there? Your conversation sounded a little_...”

The redhead exhales sharply: "If you ever talk to anyone about what you heard tonight, I am going to make you wish you were born a girl.” She can practically see him shudder through the ear-piece: “Did. It. Work?” she repeats the question with stress.

He remains silent for so long that she already knows what he will say next: “ _Yes, it worked. You were right._ ”

Alex had expected as much but the answer hits her like a million bricks nonetheless. Her head is swimming and she feels sick for a moment. Rao, what is she supposed to do now? Inform the DEO? J'onn? Kara? _No_ , all they would see looking at Sam would be Reign once they knew. They would try to put her in a cell, to contain her or worst kill her. And Reign would tear them apart, piece by piece, limb by limb. She would make it rain blood in the DEO. Alex could not risk that.

She needs to convince Kara and her friends that they need Reign if they want to win this war, they stand no chance against the Worldkillers without help. They may have been able to blindside Purity in the train station but that has been a moment of surprise in their favor. On top of that, one Worldkiller was worse than the last and with regards to Reign and Purity Alex is unable to imagine the horrors Pestilence will bring over them.

They need Reign, or they will lose the war.

And she needs to convince Reign that she has to accept her feelings, feelings in general. That she will be stronger if she lets Sam in. Make her see that _Stronger Together_ does not merely apply to the House of El. That the shimmer of good in her is something to be embraced and not diminished.

And how on earth is she ever supposed to tell _Sam_? Innocent, human Sam who has nothing to do with this. Who does not deserve that her life will be changed forever in such a horrible way. The redhead sees no way to do this, to make Sam understand what is going on without breaking her heart and soul. Sam will be _so_ scared and _so_ confused and Alex will be responsible for her pain and hurt.

It is so absolutely unfair because all Alex wants is to love her.

Her shoulders cave under the pressure, her resolve begins to crack. It's all becoming too much. A strangled sob escapes her mouth, something hot and wet drips on her cheeks and her frustration explodes into a desperate punch. She breaks the scanning foil, makes it look like a broken mirror. " _I'm so sorry, Alex._ ”

 

* * *

 

 

Sam paces up and down in front of Alex' apartment door, torn between listening to her flight or her fight side.

She hasn't heard a word from the woman all day, no call, no text, nothing. Alex didn’t respond to any of her texts or calls either and she tried often enough, between every meeting and conference call. The silence opens up an endless void full of nightmares in her chest. She had tried to convince herself that Alex didn't want to draw any attention to them, that the silence did not imply a new crisis. That this was 'laying it low’ and not ‘being buried six feet under’. They never really got the chance yesterday to talk about how low the would lay it exactly. Between all the euphoria of their newly discovered, mutual feelings there had been no place for dread and fright.

Today, it seems like hiding from the Worldkillers is equal to not talking to each other at all. Sam is _not_ a fan, the yearning in her eating her up. Partly because she is just that needy to see Alex because her last relationship ended years ago and she is just a human and partly because she worries herself sick. She could not quell the persistent voice in her head that kept telling her that something was wrong, terribly wrong. That maybe the Agent changed her mind about them, that she realized they had rushed things or, worst of all, that Alex was lying unconsciousness in some unknown place because one of her injuries had flared up again.

Her lungs had been badly damaged by the dust in the desert and Sam feared that they simply collapsed, simply stopped working. Additionally, the brunette CFO felt like something is wrong with her, too, more wrong than usually, making her wish to hide in Alex' arms from the rest of the world. That something far more terrible than any disease possesses her.

After Lena’s visit, another black-out had caught her by surprise and when she regained her senses she was already sitting in her car, in front of Alex' apartment complex. There is no memory of how she got there, her mind like a bleak, dark corridor leading nowhere, the tiny bits and pieces she can recall leave her empty handed. Like her memories were fog she was desperately trying to catch with her bare hands. She had immediately called Lena to apologize for her sudden disappearance and to ask a favor.

Currently, Ruby is most likely being spoiled rotten by Kara and Lena, but Sam could no longer ignore the urge to see Alex and Ruby deserved to be nothing but a child more than anyone. Sam hates herself often enough that she makes her daughter's life so messed up and complicated most of the time. She deserves to be carefree and happy even if it was with other people. Sometimes, mostly right after a black-out, Sam has those dark and stormy thoughts, a voice ringing loud and clear in her head that tells her that Ruby would be better off without her, that her daughter could lead a normal life if only her mother wouldn't be so screwed-up.

And her black-outs become stranger and stranger, she's at a loss. When she had come to in her car earlier something felt off compared to the other times, more off than generally. She did not feel physically drained like all the other times, like what she did during her trance drained any energy right out of her, but like an emotional wreck. Her breathing was uneven, her heart beat like crazy and to her utter confusion she was turned on, incredibly so. Flashes of Alex danced in front of her inner-eye, images and sounds invaded her mind that made her blush in the empty car and bury her head in her hands. It was as if she just had woken up from a sex-dream, a very realistic one, as if she saw Alex through someone else’s eyes. So real was the feeling of Alex’ skin on hers, so vivid her scent in her nose, her raspy groans in her ears. With burning cheeks, she tried to push the images away. When she had finally calmed down and had realized where she was, the worrisome thoughts chased the haze away for good.

Now, she stands in front of Alex' apartment, it's the last place she could think of where the redhead could be. If she's not inside, Sam will have a mental break-down then and there, will spiral right out of control and be reduced to a sobbing mess. That’s how much Alex already means to her after so little time. Neither Lena nor Kara had heard anything from her and Winn Schott told her that Alex wasn't at work either.

If she's not home, then the Worldkillers have her, Sam panics.

She feels like one of them is in the hall with her, like they suck all warmth out of her and curl their cold fingers around her neck. She shakes herself out of it, puts her hands in her hips and forces herself to take long, measured breaths to calm down. While she paces up and down the hall, she runs her hands over her face, reminding herself over and over again that the Agent is fine, that she is _alive_ and _well_. That it's all in her head.

Between the fear and panic, something else begins to take root: anger. Anger at Alex for doing this to her, for being so selfish, for not considering what she feels like. Is she the only one who is affected by their relationship like this? The only one who feels this suffocating pressure on her chest that makes her choke and gasp? The sole thing holding her back from kicking down the door is that she isn't sure if maybe Alex hides on purpose. That maybe the Worldkillers will barge into the Agent’s home right after her.

The CFO comes to a halt in front of the closed door and stares it down as if she wants it to tell her what she is supposed to do.

Why the hell is Alex always like this, taking her to cloud nine on one day and the next Sam is pummeling into the gutter head and heart first. She could at least have texted her once to say that she was ok, let the brunette know that she was alive.

Oh, to hell with it, Sam curses and forcefully knocks.

Moments later, the door opens and Alex stares at her as if she sees a ghost: "Sam?” she asks, sounding unsure, like she does not believe her own eyes, unable to accept that it is really Sam who stands in front of her. This is not the reaction the CFO expected. She furrows her brows, her jaw tightening.

Who else am I supposed to be, Sam wonders. Who did she expect and why isn't it me?

"Hey," she says bitterly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Now that she sees the redhead with her own two eyes and the ferocious, headless panic in her is calmed, she wants to leave immediately.

Alex still looks dumbfounded, stares at her with an open mouth: “What are you doing here?”

Sam scowls, feels irritated: “Oh, I don't _know_. Just making sure that you are still _alive_?”

Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. Alex’ eyes widen, and she hastily pulls her phone out of the pocket of her pants. It’s dead.

“Sam... I'm so..." she starts but Sam cuts her off, feeling the blood boiling in her veins:

"Stuff your excuse elsewhere! I see you're breathing. I'm leaving.”

Furious, she turns on her heel, ready to stomp down the hall. She has better things to do, more important things to do than being a plaything in the Agent's hands.

"Sam, wait!” Alex calls after her, follows her into the hall and holds her back by the elbow. Her voice is cracking, and the brunette can picture her expression clearly without seeing it. How it pinches and twists, her brows crunched, her mouth downcast. It's enough to make her stop. She doesn't want to hurt Alex, it's just that she feels so tired, so sick of it all. All she wants is _one_ quiet day, _one_ carefree day with her daughter and the woman she might love. Sam presses her lips tightly together, yanking her arm free. She remains where she stands, though.

"I’m so sorry, Sam," Alex whispers, her words jumping up and down because they are so loaded with sadness and regret.

Without turning around Sam says: “That’s not enough." Her hand curls around the spot the redhead just touched, it’s warm and tingling and Sam doesn't want her resolve to crumble just yet. So, she smothers the touch with her palm. Before she allows herself to cave, she must make the Agent understand something.

"I thought you _died_ ,” she mumbles barely audible. Alex inhales sharply behind her while tears spring to Sam's eyes: “Do you have _any_ idea what that was like? How I felt?”

"Sam...”

"No, you listen to me!” she shouts. “When I called Kara and she told me something about an important mission you were on...I thought you _died_! I thought: Alex is _dead_ and you’re _never_ going to see her again.”

She snuffles briefly to keep the tears at bay but even the memory of those terrible feelings is too much for her. “And today I have not heard a word from you and I have all these awful images and scenarios in my head that something happened to you again."

She presses her hands against her temples, her palms into her eyes, to make these pictures go away. “Do you know how awful that feels?”

She hears how Alex comes closer, feels how she snakes her sane arm around Sam's midriff. Sam lets her because Alex' arm is pulling her back to earth, pulls her out of her own head.

“I’m sorry," she repeats.

Her head comes to rest on Sam's right shoulder and she feels how something wet drips onto her skin. "I know this is no excuse for what I did, and it's not meant to be. But you are not the only one who is used to handling things by herself. I’m still learning and apparently I'm really bad at it."

Sam scoffs teary. It’s a really bad excuse. And one she can relive because so often she is just the same. Slowly, she relaxes into Alex' embrace "You're awful at it.”

Alex presses her cheek against her shoulder in silent approval.

“You can’t do this to me,” Sam adds, lacing their fingers together, resting them above her hipbone.

“You are right," Alex mumbles into her back, sounding tired and defeated.

“I want to be with you, Alex, I really do," Sam sighs, not stubborn enough to hold onto her anger for much longer."But you gotta give me something to work with.”

"I’m sorry I made you feel like this, you didn't deserve that, I’m an asshole.” Sam grunts, lifting their joint hands to her lips, kissing Alex' palm softly.

She really caves too easily for this woman: "Yes, you are.”

After a moment of silence, Alex asks: “Do you want to come inside?” she sounds like a teenager, voice high, breath stuck somewhere between her heart and her head.

"Yes," Sam answers, sounding equally nervous. With Alex pressed into her like this, wrapped around her in a way that Sam barely registers anything else, her hard feelings stand no chance. They don't care how much longer the CFO wants to remain angry and upset, they simply melt away in the Agent's embrace. She lets her arm drop and turns around.

For a brief moment, Alex looks at her as if she is searching for something in Sam's face, like she tries to find someone or something else in her amber eyes. It makes the brunette fidget and her skin crawl. Who does Alex expect to find? Whomever she is looking for, she doesn’t seem to find them, and the redhead visibly relaxes. She gives the brunette a small, reassuring smile, brimming with apology and hope. Then she tugs her along by their joined hands. Sam likes the way their interlocked fingers look, the contrast of their skin tones, _bronze_ against _cream_. She has never been to Alex' place and the fact that they will be _alone_ makes her heart beat ecstatically. What happened the last time when it was just the two of them is still as vivid in her memories as if it just happened moments ago.

As they enter the apartment, Alex lets go of her hand, ushering her hastily through the door. Confused, the brunette turns around, noticing that Alex tries to hide something behind her slim stature. She casts a glance past the Agent's shoulder and stares at a gaping hole in the wall. A small heap of plaster, pieces of brick and dust hav been swept together into a corner.

“My God, Alex? What happened there?” Sam exclaims, already livid again. In the end the bad feeling nagging her all day long had been _right_.

The redhead rubs the back of her neck awkwardly: "I may have had a _little_ accident and crashed my coat hanger.”

Only then does Sam notice that Alex' left arm hangs more limply in its sling than yesterday, that a light bruise blossoms on her left cheek. In a flurry, Sam stands in front of her, runs her hands over Alex’ arms, cups her cheeks, rushes out: "Are you hurt anywhere? How is your head, is your shoulder ok, can you breathe normally?”

Alex interrupts her by gently pressing her lips against Sam's. The pressure is soft but steady and Sam feels her insides _melt_. The Agent is nibbling on her bottom lip and the brunette welcomes her by flicking her tongue over the Agent's lips. Alex is _warm_ and _soft_ and _alive_ against her. The feeling is enough to put the remainings of her anger to rest.

"Why didn’t you tell me?” Sam gets out, while wrapping her arms around the redhead's shoulders, tugging her closer.

"I didn't want to worry you”, Alex whispers before she presses her nose against the brunette's neck, placing feverish kisses onto flushed tanned skin. Sam's head falls back, making more room for the redhead's eager mouth. She leans into Alex' one good arm, revels in the feeling of strong fingers splayed out against her spine.

“It worries me more when you don’t say anything”, she brunette growls and crushes their lips back together. Sam exhales into the kiss, her tongue delving in deep. She deflates into Alex' body, into her warmth, feeling instantly calmer. Although their movements are becoming, frantic, this is not the same need that washed over Sam in her office. She is not quelling a burning desire right now but reaffirms Alex' life with every kiss.

They separate with a small pop, both with blown pupils, both with heaving chests: "I’m right here, Sam. I'm ok", the redhead mumbles, snaking her arm more firmly around the CFO's waist, holding her tight. Sam weaves her long fingers into Alex' locks, buries her face against the Agent's warm neck. She _desperately_ wants to believe her.

The brunette inhales Alex’ earthy scent deep, always reminding her of a forest shortly after a light rain and warm leather and a hint of steel. It feels _so_ good to be held like this, to be held by Alex. Like all her worries and problems cannot reach her here, are unable to harm her. Eventually she lets go, though.

"Can I offer you anything? A drink or tea?”

Sam smiles shyly at her and shakes her head. _Now_ Alex is back to being considerate. Oh, this woman.

“Tea sounds perfect.” Together they walk into the kitchen. Alex insists on being capable of preparing tea and she plants Sam on the small, cozy couch.

To the brunette the apartment feels strangely familiar, like she has already been here before. She spots a patch of wall close to the headboard of Alex' bed that looks different from the rest, newer, freshly renovated. For a split second, she can see the hole that used to be there, sees plaster fluttering onto the Agent's nightstand. What a strange déjà-vue.

While her eyes sweep the rest of the apartment, she notices the many empty spaces. Spaces that once have been filled by a human body, a laughter, a smile and now are vacant and abandoned. Something cold awakens in her stomach, reaches with rotten, dripping hands for her heart. These have been Maggie's spaces.

With the intensity of a lightning bolt, jealousy suddenly flares up in her. She doesn’t want to share the redhead, not even with a ghost. Only the thought makes her blood boil. It is like a beast has woken up inside her, clamoring and rummaging, flapping its wings and bearing its long teeth. It is the same strange kind of anger she felt in the DEO when she couldn't get one moment alone with Alex, intense and simultaneously not feeling like her own. The CFO forcefully pushes the feeling down, back to where it came from.

They already argued enough today. Maggie is _gone_ , and Alex is _here_ now with Sam. Ruby told her that the two didn't even meet so the Agent could give Maggie back her passport. Then Alex abruptly ends her musings: "By the way, where is Ruby?”

Sam quickly shakes the green-eyed monster off for good, or was it red-eyed?

"She's with Kara and Lena. Originally, I only called Lena to ask her to keep an eye on Ruby, but she was having dinner with Kara and one thing led to another,” Sam answers.

Alex grins when she hands her a cup of steaming tea: "She’ll be spoiled rotten when you get her back.”

"I'm afraid you're right,” Sam chuckles.

“So, how long do you have?” The Agent asks before taking a sip of her tea, staring intently at the brunette over the rim of her cup. Her gaze is so intense that Sam can almost sense it like a physical thing, gliding over her skin, entering her soul and stripping her naked. Whatever the redhead is looking for, Sam knows she will not find it. If it would have been there, Alex would have seen it by now because Sam does not hide anything from her.

The brunette checks her watch: "Maybe two hours?”

“That’s not enough time," Alex mumbles, softly, her eyes turning dark, the color of rosewood.

Sam bites her bottom-lip. It's ridiculous how strong this pull between them is: "Then I shouldn't waste any of it.”

Blindly, she puts the tea somewhere else. Then she slowly leans forward, places her hands on either side of Alex' hips and captures her waiting lips in a soft kiss. This time they are gentle, softly exploring each other with their lips and tongues and hands. Two hours definitely aren't enough, but they take their time nonetheless to be _lazy_ and _silly_. Carefully Sam pushes the Agent into the cushions behind her and giggles at the lovesick smile on the woman's face. Her face is flushed and her eyes twinkle. She finally stopped looking for something in Sam's smile and her eyes that is not there.

She slowly lowers herself on top of Alex, as not to hurt her injured shoulder, not putting too much pressure on her torso. Because she tries to keep most of her weight from Alex' chest, her hips slide closer and closer to the redhead's. A leg slips between the redhead's knees and Sam pushes in between them until they are a mess of tangled limbs. She presses hot open-mouth kisses against Alex’ neck, revels in the throaty moan that escapes her. Her hips begin to roll out of their own accord and when she meets Alex’ they both groan. Sam repeats the motion shamelessly slow, smothering the redhead's moans with her tongue.

“Jeez, are we really dry-humping like teenagers?" Alex laughs breathlessly.

"Aw, I thought that was totally your thing", the brunette fake pouts.

Without a warning, she lets her, almost, full-body weight drop on the woman beneath her and Alex howls in mock pain: "Oh God, no. I'm being squished to death. Someone, help me! Supergirl, Supergirl!"

Sam presses a hand onto the Agent's mouth, muffling her laughter: “Alex, are you crazy? What if she actually shows up?” She is grinning from ear to ear, though. Alex blows a raspberry against her palm and Sam shrieks with laughter: "Gross!”

They continue with this silly banter for a while, laughing and kissing and being _so_ in love that even their numerous problems remain quiet, not daring to interrupt them. Eventually, Sam rests her chin on Alex' stomach, her long legs bent upwards in the knees. Her breathing falls in sync with the redhead's heartbeat. Her long fingers drawing elaborated patterns on the arms around her. The Agent shed her sling for their cuddling, claiming that it was way too uncomfortable. Sam didn't protest much because being hugged by two arms really feels better than being hugged by one. Alex plays absentmindedly with the brunette's hair, running her fingers through long tresses and over her scalp. Outlining the shell of Sam's ear with the tips of her fingers. She has a far-away look on her face, her eyes unfocused as if she is deep in thought.

"Do you want to move in?”

Alex is so shocked by the question that she retreats her hand too fast and gets tangled in Sam's hair.

"Ow!”

“Shit, sorry, damn! What?”

Sam pushes herself onto her elbows, looks at the Agent from under long eye-lashes, rubbing the sore spot on her scalp: "I mean not like _move in_ , move in. Just for a couple of days or maybe a week until you are out of your sling. Doing everything by yourself must be hard and it would _really_ calm my nerves.”

For a couple of moments, the Agent regards her with furrowed brows, thinking so hard that Sam can hear the gears turning in her head. Then suddenly, her face relaxes, and she regards Sam with such softness and adoration. "I really like the sound of that," Alex rumbles, her chest vibrating under the CFO's chin with her answer.

Sam kisses her softly: "Ruby will be so happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had fun reading this chapter and leave me a little something in the comment section. ;)


	10. Alex/Sam/Reign/Ruby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to give them a break.  
> Sam is a tease. Alex a mess. Ruby loves her new 'mom'.  
> Lena is a flirt.  
> Reign a jealous Worldkiller.  
> And Purity as eloquent in her threats as ever.
> 
> Find out in chapter 10 why I had to change the rating of this little story.

* * *

 

Sam places the heavy travel bag next to the stairs and Alex steps inside the house right after her.

For a moment she falters in the hall, debates for the hundredth time if this is _really_ such a good idea. Like the other ninety-nine times, she can only come up with pro-arguments. By living under one roof with Sam, Alex can keep a close eye on her, will be able to observe how Reign shows in Sam's daily routines, if she does at all. Alex hopes that after this week she can fully convince herself that saving Reign is the right decision, that it is possible, that it is possible to save them both. And besides, peeing with one arm is a _horrendously_ exhausting and _excruciatingly_ slow process and she is glad about the extra help. Even though she could kiss her tough Agent image good-bye then right along with her dignity.

The only thing that had made her hesitate when Sam asked her was the problem with the Worldkillers. While she pondered how she could balance living with Sam for a week and not drawing attention to their new relationship, she realized something. Purity must know who Reign's human twin is and threatening to hurt Sam has been an evil joke at Alex' expense. This was the only good thing that came out of the revelation so far: Alex could finally stop worrying about putting Sam in grave danger. Reign would not let anything happen to her 'host’, even though it was simply due to her self-preservation instinct. She lets out a long sigh while this knowledge washes over her again. It’s one thing less she has to rack her brain over.

"Are you ok?” Sam suddenly asks from the foot of the stairs.

She looks insecure with her creased brows and her hitched breath. Alex smiles softly at her. After all that has happened in the past months and all the horrible things that most likely still lie ahead of them, she feels truly _ok_ right now, in this very moment. For the first time in months. Sam's lips twitch upwards in response and her expression loosens up.

Today is a Sunday, and she is clad in an oversized wool-pullover, skinny jeans and a pair of New Balance. In the milky winter light that seeps in through the still open door, her skin looks pale. Nonetheless, she looks better than she has in God knows how long. Alex gets never tired of looking at her. The way her skin glows caught just between the color of dark honey and cinnamon. How her eyes shine like liquid amber at the end of a long day, warm and soft. So very unlike Reign's because the Worldkiller cannot even comprehend the meaning of these words. Her eyes are what Alex always fascinated the most, all the _love_ and _kindness_ that pools in her irises. Lately, though, Alex finds herself staring and marveling at her body more and more. When they first met, she already noticed the unparalleled grace with wich Sam moves her tall, lean body. And even though her shoulders have often been bent under the sheer force of her misery recently, this grace is still there, a smooth ease carried out by the ripple of every muscle in Sam's body. Way before she knew about Reign, Alex couldn't help herself but be enchanted by the hidden strenght in Sam's strong biceps, her hard, flat stomach and her long legs that seemed to go on forever. First, she always compared Sam to some magical entity someone must have carved from marble. Now, she knows she has been sculped by Kryptonian priestesses, a _goddess_ created in the image of _goddesses_. And if Alex will curse them for all enternity for bringing the apocalypse down to Earth, part of her will remain for ever gratefull to them for bringing Sam right with it.

There is a certain glimmer in Sam's amber eyes these days whereas pain and fear has made them dull for the majority of the past months. Since she admitted being sick, Sam's gaze has been empty and haunted whenever she had no strength left to hide it. Alex thinks what makes her eyes shine right now is _hope_. The faith that they will get through this. Together. Briefly, an inner voice reminds her that Alex will be the one to shatter that hope when she tells Sam about Reign. That she is the person who will plunge Sam back into stormy waters right when she comes up for air. Her chest contracts painfully and Alex pleads:

Rao, _please_ , let me have this moment with her. Just this one.

But Rao doesn't answer her.

So, she finally enters the house, closes the front door behind her and walks closer to the stairs. Sam waits for her on the first step, being even taller than Alex like this and she loves it. She would never admit it, but she _loves_ the height difference between them, melts on the inside because it forces her to always slightly tilt her head upwards to kiss Sam. Currently, she must stretch on her tip-toes to reach the brunette. Sam slides her long fingers across Alex' jaw, pushes her fingertips behind Alex’ ears, presses them into the small dent at the apex of her neck to tug her upwards. Alex hums against her lips in content. She feels like she can never get enough of kissing Sam.

“Ready to show me my room?” Alex asks in a low voice. Sam grins from ear to ear and leads her upstairs by the hand.

They agreed that Alex will sleep in the guest-bedroom for several reasons. Although, the Agent explained that they probably don't have to fear anything from the Worldkillers right now for some made up reason, they still wanted to take things slow. Memories of Maggie still linger at the back of the Agent's head like a ghost, mingling with the fear of how to come clean about Reign. Alex cannot bear the thought of giving it her all with Sam while already knowing full well that their relationship might end before it even really begins. Sam agrees because she thinks it is unfair to make Alex fall for her if she might be _dying_. Sam’s concern for her makes remorse explode in Alex' heart like a devilish vine. She wrecked her brain for hours debating with herself how to tell Sam about the Worldkiller inside her, but she always came up empty. So, the redhead takes what she can get before it all falls apart. On top of that, they have to think about Ruby, too. The pre-teen is already so enamored with the DEO Agent that her heart will break right after her mother's when Alex reveals her secret. So, they decided to remain as platonic as possible in front of Ruby. Sam doesn't want to give her daughter false hope either.

 

* * *

 

With Ruby out of the house, at a birthday party from one of the members of her soccer team, the two women settle on the couch.

Each has a laptop perched on their lap and a wineglass in hand. Alex re-views CCTV recordings of Purity and reads reports of Imra and Mon-El about Pestilence and the Blight. Intentionally ignoring to watch _anything_ Reign related. Sam compares several take-over bids that Research and Development at L-Corp sent her. Although, Lena just spent seventy million dollars on a media company, she is a business woman to her very core and already casts her net wide again in search of new potential investments.

They sit facing each other, their backs pressed into the respective armrests and from the knees onwards they are a complicated knot of tangled limbs. Alex is convinced that if they would cuddle, things would escalate quickly again. Instead of sending heated gazes towards Sam over the frame of her laptop, she keeps her eyes glued to the screen. Even when her cheeks grow hot because she feels Sam's eyes on her face now and then. For most of the time, they work in comfortable silence, though. Occasionally, one of them fills the empty glasses and they playfully bump their knees. When the shadows on the hard-wood floor in the living room become longer and longer, Sam yawns and shuts her laptop.

"Are you finally done?” Alex asks, a small smile playing around her lips.

Sam puts the laptop on the coffee table and stretches: "I love Lena, I really do. But as a boss she is ruthless.”

The redhead chuckles, closes her own laptop and opens her arms wide: "Come here, baby.”

Sam grins at her, raises an eyebrow: "Are we giving each other nicknames now?”

Alex shrugs, a light blush dusting her cheeks: “Why not?”

The brunette tilts her head, looking at Alex in silent adoration. Then she crawls on top of the Agent, rests both her hands behind the other woman on the arm rest, trapping her effectively between her elbows. She puts her face so close to Alex' that the redhead can feel Sam's breath on her lips, can see the darker golden specks in her irises but Sam doesn't close the impossible small distance: "What should I call you then?" she whispers.

Alex gulps: “Hot Shot, BAMF, Agent Savage?”

For one second, Sam crinkles her nose then she laughs Alex right in the face. Her shoulders are still shaking from her giggles when she says: "How about Shorty or Agent Dimples?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t _dare_ ", Alex jokingly growls and leans in.

The second their lips are about to touch, a loud sucking, slurping sound makes them freeze. In slow motion, Sam raises her head above the backrest of the couch and instantly pushes herself flat on top of Alex, burying her face in the redhead's shirt: “Shit.”

“Hey, don’t stop because of me,” Ruby’s voice echoes from the kitchen.

As fast as if someone turned a switch on, Alex’ face is scarlet red like a pomegranate. With Sam still pressed against her, she shifts on the couch, so that she can just see over the couch. Ruby sits at the kitchen counter emptying a Coca-Cola soda-can through a pink straw. Her grin is wider than that of the Cheshire cat.

"Hey, Ruby,” Alex stutters awkwardly.

"Are you and mom _finally_ dating?” She asks sweetly, putting the empty soda can behind her.

The next second, Sam sits bolt upright, the color of her face not close behind Alex’: "Ruby!"

"What?" Ruby shrugs, "I come home completely unsuspecting and find you two...”

Sam cuts her off by blurting: “We are dating!”

"Sam...," Alex groans beneath her, biting her bottom lip. Hard.

Sam's head whips towards her, amber eyes wide in shock: "Are we not dating? Is that too soon?”

Alex averts her gaze, clearly embarrassed: "We are, we are but...” She groans again: “Sam... your hands," she gulps, voice barely above a whisper. Sam stares at her hands. In the hectic of explaining the compromising situation to her daughter she planted them firmly on Alex' chest to keep herself steady. On a very _sensitive_ part of her chest. Alex holds her breath, feels something grow _hard_ under Sam's palms.

“I'm _so_ sorry!" Sam exclaims, rips her hands upwards and tumbles sideways from the couch. Ruby is cackling in unashamed glee at their embarrassment.

 

* * *

 

 

After a generous round of Chinese, the three of them re-settle on the couch.

Only this time, Ruby occupies the space between the two adults, contently cuddled against Alex’ good side. Half-way through the second movie, the teenager falls asleep, slumping further into Alex' frame. Right when No-Face and Chihiro board the spirit train on the TV, Alex lets out a low hum: "She looks so peaceful.”

Sam gives them both a warm, soft smile. In her eyes, Alex sees the same overflow of feelings reflected that she feels in her heart. Sam reaches out to them, tugs a lock out of her daughter's face and says: "I can't believe, she caught us.”

Alex tilts her head, grinning bashfully: "I was pretty distracted, too.”

Suddenly, Sam's smile fades away, a flash of concern flitting over her face: "I'm sorry I said we're dating. I kinda panicked.”

She doesn't look at Alex, keeps her eyes trained to Ruby's sleeping form. Alex stretches her arm out, over the gap the teenager creates between them, glides the tips of her fingers over Sam's wrist: “It’s not like we aren't.”

She tugs the CFO closer, until she can softly kiss her fingers.

"Dating is ok?” the brunette mumbles unsure.

The Agent wonders who did this to Sam, which past relationship scarred her so much that she questions every good thing that happens to her. "Dating is _more_ than ok," Alex says, marveling at the blush blossoming on Sam’s cheeks.

Then Ruby snores, curls tighter into Alex and wraps her arm around the redhead's waist.

“I should bring her to bed. She gets clingy in her sleep. If you’re not careful, she'll use you as a body pillow," Sam says.

Tentatively, she tries to wake Ruby up, but the teenager is out cold. "I would carry her to bed but..." Alex says, casting a meaningful glance at her sling. She hopes her tone does not give her away as she adds: "Maybe _you_ could carry her?”

She feels guilty for doing this but if Sam can carry Ruby like she weighs no more than a baby, then maybe she has Reign's strength without knowing it. Sam crinkles her brows: "I haven't carried her for years.”

But then Ruby tightens her hold on Alex even more and the Agent lets out the tiniest hiss. "I guess I have to free you from the Kraken,” Sam says with a small laugh.

"Please," Alex wheezes. Gently, Sam pries Ruby's hands from Alex' waist and hooks one arm under her daughter's knees. Alex’ breath hitches in her throat.

"Uff, this has definitely been easier when she was still a baby,” Sam grunts as she sways on wobbly legs. Carefully, she walks towards the stairs. Alex remains on the couch, calming her raging heartbeat.

She’s human, oh thank _God_ , she's human, Alex thinks relieved.

"Are you coming?” Sam calls in a hushed tone from the hall.

Alex lets out a long sigh then she gets up, turns off all the lights in the living room and follows the brunette upstairs. The more time she spends with Sam, since she knows about Reign, the more she sees the two as completely separated from each other. The care and kindness that Sam treats her with has nothing to do with Reign's harshness and crudity.

Still, they both care about me in their own way, the redhead muses on the dark stairs.

If only she can make them care about each other, too.

After they brushed their teeth in content silence, they stand in front of the guest-room door. "This is good night then?" Sam says softly.

Without thinking, Alex grabs her hand. With her face turned towards the door, she mumbles: “Can you help me with something?”

From her travel bag, she gets a pair of loose boxer shorts, holds them out to Sam with burning cheeks. The brunette puts them onto the nightstand and tugs the redhead closer by hooking her fingers through the belt loops of Alex’ jeans. Sam locks their gazes and Alex is drowning in a sea of golden, dark amber. Her breath stumbles and stutters in her chest, when she feels Sam's nails scratching over her hip-bone: “I always imagined this a bit differently to be honest," she whispers.

Alex gulps when Sam single-handedly opens the button of her pants. The rasping of the zipper is the only sound in the silent room. It is almost scary how readily Alex succumbs to Sam when she takes control like this. The brunette renders her speechless so easily with just a flick of her wrist, a seductive glance, a twitch of her full lips. Just as easy as Reign. It's _really_ not fair. It's really not fair that they look so much alike. Amber eyes brim with a mischievous glint as Sam begins to yank Alex' jeans down without breaking eye contact. Eventually, she bends down, though, to push the cloth past Alex' knees. Meanwhile, Alex tries her best to remain at least somewhat composed. She stares straight ahead, wills her legs to do their work and to keep her hands at her sides. Or at least one hand. If she would glance down now and see Sam kneeling in front of her... _God_ she would grab her head and shove that beautiful mouth right where she begins to feel heat sinking low, low, low.

"Right foot,” Sam says, her voice not giving anything away. Alex follows her command quietly. Her brain is not able to form coherent words let alone sentences.

"Left foot,” Sam says. In one swift movement, she pulls the boxer shorts up, staring deep into Alex' eyes again. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and the sight alone makes Alex shiver with want. Before she can decide anything more, though, Sam presses a kiss to her cheek.

“Good night, Alex," she husks. Then she lets the waistband of the boxer shorts snap and leaves the bed-room.

“Night,” Alex mumbles, flopping down onto the bed. Sleep will be long in coming tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

On Tuesday, Sam calls Alex in such a hectic that the Agent needs three attempts to understand her ramble.

As part of his pathetic mudslinging at Lena and L-Corp, Morgan Edge sicced the tax authorities onto them and now Sam and the financial department are working after hours. Maybe the whole night. Alex says that she will pick up Ruby from school, make sure that she does her homework and promises to cook them something without setting the house on fire. Since Purity has gone kind of MIA and Reign is probably too preoccupied with learning what feelings are, there is not much to do at the DEO anyways. So, Alex leaves early and picks up a pack of Mac'n'Cheese on the way to Ruby's school.

The girl is overjoyed when she spots Alex. As the Agent wraps the girl in a tight one-arm hug, she prays that she doesn't have to break her heart. That somehow everything will work out between Sam, Reign and the authorities. While they wait for a taxi, the two build a tiny snowman, their cheeks flushed red from the cold. They both forgot to wear gloves and Alex lets Ruby warm her hands under the redhead's thick sweater. The shiver is worth Ruby's happy face. It makes sitting rather awkward and the driver eyes them with raised eyebrows in the rearview mirror. But Alex doesn't mind. The bittersweet sting she always felt in her heart when she spent time with Ruby has faded away over time. When they reach the Arias house, the teenager is quick to grab the grocery bag and jumps out of the car, leaving the Agent to struggle with her wallet.

"That's a nice house you have there," the driver suddenly speaks up. Alex is so caught off-guard by his remark that she stutters something incomprehensible.

He laughs good-heartedly: “Oh, don't worry. I know what it is like to be a single parent.” With a twinkle in his dark eyes, as if they are sworn in comrades, he adds: “You seem to be a good mom.”

Alex is at a loss for words and mumbles: “Uh...thanks...but I.”

Out of nowhere, Ruby snatches the wallet from her hand and grins at the driver from the open car-door: "She's great, isn’t she?”

The driver accepts his payment with a wink and next thing Alex stands numbly in Sam's kitchen. She knows it is way too early to develop maternal feelings for Ruby but if she is honest with herself they are long since there. It terrifies the tough Agent. What if this time she gets her cake and gets to eat it, too? Only for someone to snatch it away after she took the first bite? It would break Alex and this time it would be beyond repair. A turmoil of emotions rages in her and it is only when Ruby pulls her in a tight hug that she calms down. The girl doesn't ask, and the redhead is left in wonder at her ability to intuitively do the right thing.

 

Ten minutes later, Ruby puts a pot full of water on the stove. Meanwhile, Alex unpacked the content of the instant Mac'n'Cheese and lined up everything on the kitchen counter. Just as she does when she must conduct an experiment at the DEO. Squinting, she tries to make sense of the instructions.

"You're not much of a cook, am I right?” Ruby says.

"What makes you think that? I'm a _great_ cook," Alex says defensively.

The girl snickers. “You’re reading the instructions.” For a second, the Agent keeps the show up, stares with raised eyebrows at the teenager. The next moment, she hangs her head in defeat.

"Ok, you got me there, kid. The Chinese restaurant around the corner of my apartment knows my first name and my three favorite dishes. But don't tell your mom.” They both laugh.

After Ruby talked the adult through the individual steps, she pats her on the elbow: "You can do this, Alex. I'm upstairs doing my homework. Call me when the food is ready.” Like an after-thought, she adds: "Or if the kitchen is on fire.”

When the sauce explodes and lands all over Alex' face, she thinks what a useless lesbian she really is.

Twenty minutes later, Alex and Ruby sit at the dining room table each with a large bowl of steaming pasta in front of them. Ruby lifts a heavy-loaded fork to her face, eyeing the long cheese strings suspiciously.

"Did I overdo it?" Alex asks nervously. Thinking back to the kind taxi driver she grumbles on the inside: Look what a great mom I would be, can't even cook instant pasta.

"There is never too much cheese," Ruby declares and shoves the fork into her mouth, chewing in bliss. Alex lifts her own fork, fearing that Ruby just _pretends_ to be nice to her. It takes a load off Alex' mind when she realizes that her lunch actually tastes good.

After an elongated food-coma nap they take cuddled up on the couch, the Agent supervises the rest of Ruby's homework. In the evening, they decide to watch a soccer game on TV. Alex hasn’t heard anything from Sam and doesn’t even want to imagine the chaos at L-Corp, or that Reign is on the loose again. With regard to the latter option, however, Kara or J'onn would have called her. The exact moment she checks her phone for any sign of the CFO, Ruby speaks up: "When do you think she will be home?”

Alex brings her in for a one-arm hug, kisses the top of her head: "I don't know, Rubes. She said it could take all night.”

The teenager doesn't say anything and returns her attention to the TV. The redhead wonders just how many nights Ruby had to spend alone, how much of the time with her daughter Sam sacrifices for work. She should have a word with Lena once this nightmare is over. Suddenly, Alex has an idea and types something into her phone.

"Have you ever watched a real match?” the redhead asks.

Ruby grins up at her: "Yeah, years ago. Mom was so bored she almost fell asleep. So, I never dragged her again.”

"Well, count yourself lucky because I would _gladly_ be dragged to a match by you and there is one tomorrow evening.” Ruby's face lights up the same way Kara's does when she sees potstickers or Lena. "It's just an amateur match but do you want to..." The rest of Alex' sentence is muffled when Ruby throws her arms around her shoulders:

"Yes!”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Alex finds Sam fast asleep on the couch.

She and Ruby decide to let the poor CFO rest a bit longer and after Ruby has been picked up by the parent's car-pool Alex prepares a very strong coffee. She kneels next to the couch, softly says: “Morning, beautiful. Time to rise and shine.”

Very slowly, Sam cracks one bloodshot eye open: "Alex?”

"Hey,” the redhead grins.

Blinking disoriented into the morning sun, her make-up smudged, and her hair mussed, Sam looks so adorable that Alex's insides turn to mushy goo. In situations like this, it is impossible to believe that Reign resides in the same body. "What time is it? Where is Ruby?” the brunette croaks while she sits up.

Alex takes a seat next to her, places the coffee in her hands and says: "Don't worry, Ruby is already at school. Drink this.”

As if on autopilot, her girlfriend leans into Alex's side and obeys silently. The Agent hides her blush by pressing her nose into Sam's hair. This gorgeous woman in her arms is _actually_ her girlfriend.

What on Earth did I do to deserve someone like her, Alex thinks gloomily.

Then she remembers that she thought the same about Maggie. While the brunette drinks her coffee, Alex places a kiss to her temple and murmurs: "When did you get back?”

"Oh...uhm...half past four?" Sam yawns.

The redhead shakes her head in disbelief: "Seriously, what kind of boss is Lena?”

Sam half-heartedly slaps her knee: "It wasn't her fault. It was that dickhead Edge and..." There she must yawn again. "As a thank-you Lena invites the whole Financial to dinner tonight."

Suddenly, Alex is nervous, somehow reluctant to tell Sam about the soccer match. She has already spend time with Ruby alone but usually that was because the CFO was stuck at work. This would be something they intentionally will go to alone, just the two of them. She cannot gauge Sam's reaction and the fear of just how disappointed she will be, if the brunette says no, makes her tense up.

"You ok?” Sam mumbles, placing one of her hands on Alex' knee.

“Yeah, yeah," the redhead says, “It's nice of Lena to do that.”

Then she plucks up her courage, remembering that she needs to share her thoughts if she wants this to work: “That's _actually_ perfect because I thought...maybe...Ruby and I could go watch a soccer match tonight.” To Alex, the next ten seconds feel like ten hours until Sam answers.

“I'll never let go of you again. You would seriously watch that with her?” Sam says, staring at the redhead with raised eyebrows as if she cannot believe her own luck.

Alex looks at her dumbfounded: "Soccer is not _that_ bad.”

The brunette rolls her eyes: "Maybe to you.” Then she presses a quick kiss on Alex' mouth: "Seriously, you are the best.”

Grinning, Alex lets her arm fall from around her girlfriend's shoulder and wraps it around her waist, tugging her closer. She presses a flurry of kisses against Sam's cheek, mumbling: "I am? You should say that again.”

Sam places her hand against Alex' cheek to stop her sweet assault, saying: "You are the best, Alexandra Danvers.”

Then she kisses Alex, long and deep and leaves the taste of coffee on her tongue. The Agent could melt into a puddle under her lips. Sadly, she sees how late it has become on Sam's wristwatch and must end the kiss. The brunette gives her barely time to breathe before she leans in again.

"Work," Alex gasps, “I need to go to work.”

Sam looks down at herself and huffs: "And I need to shower.”

She places her cup on the coffee table, gets up and walks towards the stairs. Alex tails her. "So, how are we going to do this tonight?" Sam asks, climbing the stairs.

“Well, I thought maybe you could take me and Ruby to the game and pick us up again later," Then she motions to her left arm that is still in the sling. "Because of, you know...stupid arm.”

Sam begins to unbutton her shirt in the open bathroom door and Alex’ mind gets sidetracked. Her eyes are glued to the brunette's nimble fingers as they open button after button, slowly inching down. The further down her fingers move the more falls the collar open, revealing tanned, flawless skin. As she opens the buttons above her bra, Alex' mouth becomes as dry as a desert. Sam is wearing a simple black bra and Alex senses her breasts more than she actually sees them. It is almost more thrilling, and she must gulp.

"Eyes up here, Danvers," Sam says, her voice low and sultry. She ignites a fire in Alex' abdomen with just four words.

“What did you say?" the redhead mumbles, her eyes slowly traveling upwards again, _up_ , _up_ between the valley of Sam's breasts, above her sternum, her long neck.

Sam chuckles: "I said I can take you and Ruby wherever you want and that I hope you have fun at your boring game.”

"Hm," the redhead hums. The next second she jumps, when Sam throws her shirt in the redhead's face: "Hey!”

Sam laughs at her flushed expression: "Go to work, you useless Agent.”

Then she closes the bathroom door and Alex buries her burning face in the brunette's shirt. When she is out of her sling, she will turn the fucking tables.

Just you wait, Sam, just you _wait_ , Alex thinks determined.

 

* * *

 

 

"Come on, come on, come on!" Ruby shouts excited from the backseat.

“The car is not even standing yet," Alex grins.

As Sam puts the gear stick in park position, she turns around to her daughter with a serious expression: "Ruby, you are going to listen to everything Alex says. No back-talking, no running away..."

Ruby rolls her eyes and cuts her off: "I'm not six, mom. I'll be a good kid.” Then she jumps out of the car.

“Don’t worry, I'll bring her back in one piece," Alex grins.

Sam shakes her head, but she is smiling, too. "Have fun," she says. The redhead leans over the console, kissing her briefly:

"Say hi to Lena.”

Then Alex exits the car, too. Sam stares after them until they mingle with the other people arriving for the match and her heart clenches from all the _love_ she feels.

 

* * *

 

 

While they look for the perfect seats, Ruby asks: "Do you know one of the teams?”

Alex bobs her head: “They are only amateur class and never made it to the NWSL, but the National City Sirens are not bad."

“NWSL?” Ruby asks, tilting her head to the side.

"The National Women's Soccer League," Alex explains as they sit behind the goal of the opposing team.

Ruby stares at her with an open mouth: "That exists?”

The redhead nods: "It's pretty small and pretty new but yeah, that exists.”

"So cool!” Ruby grins. "Do you think we can watch a match some time? From a club that is in the NWSL?" the girl adds, her eyes shining.

Alex taps her index finger against her chin: "Maybe. The Utah Royals is the only club that comes to my mind now we could see without traveling through half the country.”

"It's a deal then!” Ruby smiles and high-fives Alex. When the two teams arrive on the court, Ruby decides to cheer for the National City Sirens. Their tricots have the same colors as her team. Alex roots for the San Francisco Hurricanes just to make things interesting. After the first intense half it's one-to-one and neither Ruby nor Alex have been sitting much.

As they return to their seats, each with a Hot Dog in hand, they pass a small merchandise booth. Ruby stares longingly at a long scarf in black and blue with the National City Sirens' logo printed on either end.

"Hold this," Alex says, pushing the Hot Dog into the girl's free hand. Two minutes later, she returns with the scarf and wraps it loosely around Ruby's neck.

"There. Now you're a fan.” Speechless in her gratitude, Ruby plants her face against Alex’ chest. Alex knows what she is trying to say, nonetheless.

The redhead ruffles her hair affectionally: "No problem, kiddo.”

While Ruby chews the last bite of her Hot Dog and they are back to their seats, she asks: "Can we send a picture to mom?”

 

* * *

 

 

In between courses, Lena and Sam retreated a bit from the other co-workers and currently enjoy a glass of Scotch at a separate lounge table in a fancy restaurant in downtown National City.

"So, how are things with the Agent?" Lena asks with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

Sam rolls her eyes at her friend: "She has a name, you know."

Lena's smirk widens: "But _Agent_ has such a nice to ring to it.”

Sam shakes her head, a blush creeping up her neck: "Things are going pretty good. This week she stays with me and Ruby because of her shoulder.”

“She sleeps in the same bed as you? That is not taking it _slow_ , Sam." Lena says, her green eyes lighting up with mirth.

"She has her own bed and because of her injury and Ruby there is nothing happening anyway," the brunette grumbles, pressing her palms briefly into her eyes. “Ruby caught us kissing and since then Alex gives me no more than a peck when Ruby is home," Sam groans in frustration.

Lena laughs wholeheartedly. Then she leans forward onto her elbows, drops her voice barely above a whisper and wriggles her eyebrows seductively: "But you _want_ something more to happen.”

With her fingers still pressed against her forehead, her thumbs pressed into her temples and her hands raised upwards, Sam scowls at her friend: “It's not _funny_ , Lena.”

The millionaire baths in her sexual frustration.

"I really want to jump her," Sam admits, emitting a noise that is caught between a _huff_ and a _whine_. Then her phone vibrates, and she pulls it up to check the message. Ruby texted her and there is a picture attached.

“ _You're missing out on an amazing evening_ ," the text reads and when Sam spots the picture, a wide smile erupts on her face and she involuntarily places a hand over her heart.

"Who texted you? You look like someone ended world hunger, the climate change and all wars," Lena asks curiously.

Sam can barely tear her eyes away from the screen: "What? No," Then she slides the phone over the table: "Look.”

Instantly, Lena has the same dazed smile on her face.

The picture shows Alex and Ruby, there is a long scarf wrapped around their necks and they hold the respective ends in their hands, so that Sam can see the logo of a soccer club she has never heard of. They make kissing faces at the camera.

“They look adorable," Lena gushes. Before Sam can answer her, someone sets a glass of Whisky forcefully on the table. They both look up in surprise.

"What's up, Arias?”

Fahmi from Financials is swaying lightly on his feet. He is a good-looking Pakistani with a nicely trimmed beard and friendly twinkling eyes. At L-Corp he is a lawyer specialized in financial law and yesterday he and Sam worked rather close for most of the day.

"How can I help you, Fahmi?" Sam asks politely.

She likes him well enough, but they never talked about anything work-unrelated so far and Sam doesn't feel like changing that tonight.

"I thought maybe you would like to grab a drink with me at the bar before the next course," he says, his tongue heavy and his words slightly slurred.

Lena snorts into her glass. Sam glares at her before turning more fully to her co-worker: "I think you should stop it with the alcohol until dinner is over," she tries to let him down gently.

He simply babbles on: "We made such a good team yesterday, you know. We could find out if we also work that well in the bed-,”

Sam interrupts him there, her tone serious: "Fahmi, you are a nice guy. Do not destroy that image, now.”

He looks as if he wants to protest but Sam holds her phone out to him: “You see this picture? That's my girlfriend. She is a Federal Government Agent and she is very possessive. I don't know what she will do if I tell her that you hit on me.” She smiles sweetly at him. The next moment, Fahmi's eyes widen comically and his intense blush is visible even on his dark skin.

He rips his hands up, palms turned outwards and splutters: "Ok, I got it. I'm _so_ sorry, Ms. Arias." He is so fast in his escape that he forgets his Whisky. When he is out of ear-shot, Lena and Sam burst out laughing. Sam sets the picture as her new phone background.

 

* * *

 

 

She is blinking into beautiful sunlight. The sky above her is without any cloud, the deepest richest blue she has ever seen, stretching infinitely over the whole plain like a tranquil ocean. Under her feet is an overgrown sandy path. Small weeds and lush grass try to find stability in the loose soil. To her left and right grows wheat so tall that it reaches her shoulders, the ears swaying in a gentle breeze, creating a soft rustle. While she walks on the path, she lets her hand glide through the wheat, feels the warmth of the earth beneath her shoes and the sunlight on her face. She has never seen a more perfect place and it feels too strange to be real, so much like a dream and yet hauntingly familiar. The wind on her face feels _real_ , the rough bumps of the ears beneath her fingertips feel _real_.

Suddenly, she can make out two figures in the distance, clad in white just like her. One adult and one child. They are holding hands.

Something is drawing her to them, as if someone pulled on a string that is tied to her heart. Her steps become faster and when she is almost running through the sand, the child turns around. A wide, teary smile blossoms on her face and her heart overflows with love. Ruby is looking at her with big, round eyes. She is still so small in this dream, in this unreal place, not older than four or five. She is such a beautiful child. She lets go of the hand she is holding and comes running on her short legs, her long brown locks bouncing in the wind. Without stopping her own run, she scoops her daughter up, pressing her tightly to her chest. As if from far, far away, she hears Ruby giggle and laugh. She looks at her innocent face, her toothy smile, her wide eyes and she is completely overcome by emotions.

Then Ruby turns in her arm, points with a small finger towards the waiting figure. She puts Ruby back onto the ground, takes her hand and together they walk the short distance.

Alex waits patiently for them with a gentle smile on her face and the _softest_ look in her hazel eyes. It is this understanding, reassuring look, she has first fallen for. This infinite trust and hope Alex is able to express with just a tilt of her head and the contraction of her brows. Her red hair shines like a flame in the bright sunlight, waving slightly in the wind, the hem of her white dress billowing around her knees. When she finally stands in front of her, Alex is so _open_ and _gentle_ and _real_ that it hurts. Tentatively, she puts a stray lock behind Sam's left ear. She leans into Alex' palm, curls her fingers around her wrist. In the stillness of this moment, she is overcome with bliss, she feels at once at perfect peace with the universe. There is nothing she misses, nothing she wishes for, nothing she regrets. She wants to remain like this forever, in this dream with her daughter and the woman she loves. Then Alex lets go of her cheek, reaches her hand behind Sam's ear and places it on her neck. She is leaning in before Alex applies any pressure.

The kiss is short and sweet and perfect.

When she opens her eyes again, they rest their foreheads against each other and she never felt so complete. Everything she needs in this world, she is holding in her arms. Never will there be a moment more wonderful than this. Smiling, she closes her eyes.

But suddenly, the wind gets colder, icy even and dread crashes over her like a thundering wave. She opens her eyes again and the sunny field is gone, along with Ruby and Alex. Her arms are empty. Instead of tall wheat and sunshine she is looking at a dark, eerie forest. All the light is gone, all warmth, all life. When just seconds ago she felt loved and happy and full of joy, she feels empty and hollow and dead now. Most of all she feels lonely, though. So _lonely_ that her heart withers and her mind splinters and her soul decays.

She thinks she must die from this solitude.

 

* * *

 

Gasping, Sam jerks upwards in her bed.

For a couple of moments, she can do nothing than trying to get any air into her lungs. Her whole body is trembling, her hands are curled into her knotted bedsheets and there is cold sweat on her forehead. When her heartrate eventually slows down, she pushes a hand through her hair and buries her head between her crossed arms.

What an awful nightmare.

It is the same she has for a couple of weeks now, more or less since she and Alex got closer. She can never recall everything from the dream, the only thing that always crosses the bridge with her into reality is this soul-wrecking loneliness. One that freezes her to the core and makes her crazy. Unable to go back to sleep, she slips out of bed. Her first instinct is always to check on Ruby. Seeing her daughter sleep has a calming effect on Sam no matter how dark and stormy she is on the inside. As quiet as possible, she opens the door to Ruby's bedroom. Her daughter sleeps in blissful ignorance and only a mess of unruly locks pokes out from under the covers. Sighing in relief, Sam closes the door again. Any other week she would have gone back to bed, battling insomnia until her alarm rang. But this week, Alex is sleeping just down the hall. Sam is able to hold it together for a solid thirty seconds before she quietly pads towards the guest-room.

Alex is lying on her back, her chest lifting and lowering in a calm rhythm and the covers are half-way on the floor. A streak of milky moonlight falls on her face and even in her sleep she looks alert. Sam imagines that Alex would jump up any second, demanding to know where the problem is. Instead, she flops the covers back and pats the mattress next to her, making Sam jump in the doorframe.

"How much longer do you want to stand there?” she asks, her voice heavy with sleep.

"I didn't mean to wake you up, sorry," Sam mumbles, almost turning around to leave.

"Did something happen?” Alex' voice is deep and hoarse in the middle of the night.

“It was nothing," Sam lies, curling her fingers into the doorframe. She really wants to climb in bed next to her girlfriend. But even for Alex, the space is narrow, and Sam doesn't want to intrude. Nonetheless, she adds: “Just a nightmare.”

Alex pats the empty space next to her again, mumbling: "Come here.”

Sam doesn't need a third invitation. She climbs into bed next to the sleepy redhead. Alex pulls the covers around them and shifts onto her side, so that she can wrap her arms around Sam, who tugs her head under Alex' chin.

“What’s with your shoulder?” Sam asks, worriedly, gliding her fingers over the curved bone.

"The sling comes off in a couple of days anyways. It's fine," Alex yawns, pulling the still shaken brunette closer. Then she falls back asleep, Sam can hear it in her breathing. She wills herself to calm down, to listen intently to Alex' heartbeat. The steady rhythm is hypnotizing. While her head and heart get filled with Alex, Sam can eventually fall back asleep, too.

This night she doesn't dream again.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam raises her right eyebrow, staring intently at Lena with an unimpressed, yet highly judgmental expression.

"What is that supposed to be?" Winn asks, tilting his head.

James narrows his eyes: "I have no idea."

"Is one of you a psychic cause that would be really unfair," Kara pouts, crossing her arms.

Lena slams the hourglass onto the coffee table yelling triumphantly: "Fifty Shades of Grey!”

“What? How did you?” Kara exclaims, pointing accusing fingers between the grinning friends.

"Oh, come on," Alex groans, shaking her head.

When Sam passes Lena on the way to her chair, she says with a wink: "I knew, I could count on you.”

Lena shrugs her shoulders: "Piece of cake.”

The raven-haired beauty sits squished between Alex and Kara on the couch, Sam relaxes in one of the chairs next to the TV with J’onn occupying the seat next to her while James and Winn sit on the floor. It is Friday night and that means Game Night for Alex, even in such dire times. Or maybe _especially_ in such dire times. Because Ruby is at a sleep-over, Alex asked Sam to tag along. Even though they lived under the same roof for the past six days, they had barely seen each other. The CFO agreed but under the one condition that they would invite Lena, too. Sam explained that Lena must be _forced_ to enjoy herself and Alex had no objections. Maybe she even could use the night to mercilessly tease Kara about her blatant crush. The crush only she is too blind to see. After they picked up Lena from CatCo, they headed off to Kara's apartment in Sam's Chrysler.

Alex caught Lena fidgeting in the rearview mirror: "You ok back there?"

Lena snapped her head up: “Absolutely." Then she clasped her hands in her lap and added: "Do you think I'm correctly dressed."

Next to the Agent, Sam snorted: “Lena, that is a thousand-dollar dress. If nothing else, you're overdressed.” The millionaire blushed like a maiden.

 When Kara had opened the door for them five minutes later, she almost fainted. Sam and Lena shared a worried glance while Alex was beaming with malicious glee.

"I hope Sam and I are not intruding on your Game Night,” Lena hurriedly asked when Kara continued to stare at them, mouth agape.

"No... totally not. Come in," she stuttered, eventually.

Alex and Lena sat down on the couch while Sam and Kara got the first round of drinks from the kitchen. The redhead had to pull herself together to not stare at her girlfriend because they decided to act like friends tonight. Strictly platonic. Only because Ruby caught them kissing and knows, they don't have to let _everybody_ in on their new relationship. However, Alex knows she is not very subtle because she can barely keep her eyes off Sam the whole night.

By now, Sam and Lena hold a big lead over the other two teams consisting of Alex and Kara and James and Winn. Due to his mind-reading ability J'onn is more than content to watch them.

"Seriously, how did you know?” James asks Lena who chuckles in return.

She raises her hands like a priest during sermon and says: “That was our resting face during the whole world premiere of Fifty Shades of Grey. While everybody else was going crazy, we were silently judging them.” Sam is laughing at the memory.

Winn moves his hand back and forth between them: "The world premiere? Of course, you were at the world premiere.”

"Is that a movie one is not supposed to like?" J'onn asks with a puzzled expression. They all erupt in a round of laughter.

While it's Winn's and James' turn, Lena suddenly turns towards Alex, places both of her hands on her good shoulder and leans in: “So, when are you and Sam gonna do it?”

The Agent chokes on her beer. Lena tells the others that everything is ok and pats Alex' back innocently. "You _know_?" Alex hisses under her breath.

“I know her better than any of you. Of course, I _know_." Lena whispers in her ear. Alex feels her cheeks grow hot.

"Besides, she is really bad at hiding how head-over-heels she is for you.”

Her chin pressed to her chest, Alex stares at her girlfriend who cheers alongside the others because James just scored four points.

“I am happy for you. You really deserve each other," Lena continues. Then her tone gets serious and she curls her nails into Alex’ shoulder: “But if you break her heart, I will use one of the seven contacts in my phone to make you vanish without a trace.”

The Agent becomes as stiff as a board, her cheeks aflame. She nods vigorously. Then she casts a nervous glance at Sam and her heart stops beating. Sam is staring at the two with a _murderous_ look in her eyes. They are almost glinting red. Suddenly, there is a loud crack and the beer bottle in the brunette's hand bursts.

“Whoa, Sam you alright?” Kara exclaims already in the process of standing up.

Sam stares confused at the beer seeping into her pants: “What… I? Yeah," she mumbles absentmindedly.

"Winn, can you get a dish towel for the shards," Alex says and retreats from Lena's hold, standing up. When Winn returns with the dish towel, Sam numbly shoves the shards from her legs and places the towel onto the coffee table.

"Come on, I show you the bathroom," Alex says and leads her through the living room by the elbow. "Just go on without us for a second," she says towards the rest of the group.

Once they are in the bathroom, Alex takes a hold of Sam's hand to inspect it. "We should clean this and then I check if anything is stuck to your palm."

But Sam wordlessly yanks her hand back. Alex looks at her with furrowed brows. The brunette's face is tight, her mouth a hard line and she is not looking at the redhead.

“Baby, are you alright?" Alex asks worried. She remembers the red flash she saw in Sam's eyes and panics for a second. Is she standing in front of Reign right now? No, that cannot be. This is Sam. Alex has always been good at telling them apart and she is sure that she is looking at her girlfriend right now. And Reign would have most likely thrown a whole other kind of tantrum.

"I'm ok," Sam mumbles but it sounds unconvincing.

The Agent places her index finger against Sam's jaw to make her look into her eyes: "Hey, remember we are talking about such things? Give me something to work with." She repeats the brunette's words from last week.

Sam eyes her defensively, shaking her head. "No, it's stupid.”

Alex gives her a meaningful look: "It's not stupid if it upsets you so much.”

For a couple of moments, the brunette says nothing, sulks in silence. Then she throws her hands up: "It's Lena!”

"What?" Alex says dumbfounded.

Sam rolls her eyes: "I said it is stupid."

Then Alex realizes what they must have looked like, the two of them so close on the couch, with Lena’s arms around her and her full lips so close to Alex’ ear. The Agent's face becomes soft. Sam is _jealous_.

The CFO puts a hand through her hair in frustration. "I don’t even know what happened. I know Lena would never make a move on you and that you wouldn't...but when I saw you like that I suddenly got _so_ angry.”

Or maybe Reign got angry, Alex thinks dejectedly. But she cannot tell Sam that, not yet. The hint of betrayal tastes foul on the tip of her tongue. But this is for her own good because Alex hasn't found the right words, yet. If there even is such a thing as the right words in this situation. Maybe she would not be able to find them even if she knew every combination of every letter and every word. Sometimes there was no easy or good way. Sometimes there was just a way. Currently, Alex isn't brave enough to see where this way will lead her. She wants to cling to the illusion of this perfect life for just a little bit longer.

She reaches for her girlfriend's hand again and is pleased when Sam lets her this time. There are still a couple of smaller shards sticking to the soft flesh of her palm.

"You must think I'm a possessive, crazy...” Sam mumbles but the redhead cuts her off mid-sentence.

“No, don't say that. I would never think that," Alex says reassuringly. She places her good hand against Sam's cheek and says: "I would _never_ think you're crazy, ok?”

One day, you will think _I_ am crazy, she thinks with a sudden rush of emotions. One day, you will wish I was crazy.

The brunette looks at her with teary eyes, her bottom lip between her teeth but lastly, she nods.

While she cleans Sam's hand, she chuckles because if she circles too long around her personal impending doom, Sam will notice: “We both know I am the wrong Danvers sister for Lena, though.” 

Her words finally are able to bring a smile back onto Sam's face: "God, she is so obvious. And Kara is so blind."

They share a quiet laugh. Something the redhead came to cherish in the last couple of days like a forgotten childhood memory or a favorite song. When Alex is finished and made sure that no glass still sticks into her girlfriend's hand she says softly. "There. All better.”

"Thank you," Sam mumbles and interlaces their hands.

Alex soothingly runs her fingers over the brunette's knuckles: "Are you feeling better?”

“All good,” Sam nods with a small smile. Alex wonders if it has really been Reign who made Sam act out like this.

Rao, how much do they really influence each other, Alex thinks.

Suddenly, there is a twinkle in Sam's eyes and she grins: "But maybe I have to make sure.”

She pulls on the Agent's hand, so that Alex must lean forward.

Out of nowhere, the bathroom door opens, and Kara stands in the frame: "Hey, I found a pair of sweat..." the rest of her sentence is lost when she spots Alex and Sam holding hands, their faces inches apart. Kara’s back hits the opposite wall, her arms spread wide from her body and her eyes as wide as saucers.

"Kara!” Alex hisses under her breath, her face as red as a tomato.

Sam stifles a laugh behind her: “Looks like everybody knows, now. We're kinda bad at this."

The Agent groans and rests her head in her hand.

“What do you think you would be doing in there?" Kara chastises them. "In my _bathroom_!" she adds, her face almost as red as her sister's.

"We didn’t do anything,” the Agent retorts hotly. Sam shakes her head at their banter, grinning wide. Then she shoves her girlfriend out of the bathroom and takes the pair of grey sweat pants from Kara's grasp.

"Get out of here, so I can change.”

An awkward silence hangs between the two sisters in the hall. "Why didn't you tell me?" Kara asks eventually.

Alex huffs. Normally she tells Kara everything, she always has. This secret is bigger than both of them, though. Not that she is dating again but who _exactly_ she is dating. The revelation containing the power to change the future, to change everything. And before she can go to anyone else, she must go to Sam. The one person whose life will never be the same afterwards. Now that _one_ of Alex' secrets is revealed she feels even worse for keeping the second. As much as she longs to share this burden, to turn to anyone who might be willing to help her, her lips remain closed. Winn did his best, though, his struggle to keep quiet about their little undercover mission is evident every time he talks to Alex and there are other people in the same room.

"This is really fresh and we both want to take things slow, you know," Alex explains. After a pause she adds: "There is so much going on right now. And then there is Maggie and Ruby and Sam's sickness." She sighs. Or rather Sam's evil alter-ego that maybe or maybe not listens to Alex because she likes her, because by saving her life the Worldkiller connected them in a way neither of them has completely understood, yet. _God_ , this is not a mess to be untangled at Game Night. "We just don't want to rush into this out of the wrong reasons.”

Kara pulls her in for a tight hug: "I'm happy for you, Alex. She is a keeper.”

“Yeah, she is," Alex mumbles into her sister's shoulder. She will hold onto Sam with all her strength, all her willpower, until someone pries her from Alex' cold and dead hands. The sisters return to their friends and resume the game after they told everyone that Sam was fine. Two minutes later, Sam emerges from the bathroom. Kara's pants are a little short on the tall brunette and then a heated discussion ensues about who is the shortest of their group. It’s a tight draw between Lena and Alex, both of them protesting vehemently.

 

* * *

 

Eventually, Sunday rolls around and Alex is sitting on one of the beds in the DEO's med bay.

Winn is tapping away on his tablet, making a sour face at Kara who stands next to him: "I can't find anything,” he says.

Kara crosses her arms in front of her chest: "Damn!"

And Alex jumps up, rips the sling from around her left arm, throwing it onto the bed: "Finally! Take this!”

The next second she is almost sprinting out of the med bay, smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. Kara and Winn stare after her. "Where is she...”

Kara interrupts him: "Training room. She hasn't punched someone in six weeks."

“Uuuuuh, poor recruits," Winn says with a grimace.

 

* * *

 

Scowling, Reign blinks into the milky winter sun before making her descent.

Purity called her the moment Sam stepped into her office because she forgot some unimportant human trinket there two days ago. Reign marched her right out of it again through the balcony. The Worldkiller loathes it to be summoned like this by her sister, by anyone really. First the priestess, then Alexandra and now Purity. It is irritating her beyond words. She has better things to do. Her host behaves like such a nuisance that Reign doesn’t spare a thought about the Awakening anymore. She is struggling enough with her host's feelings to have room in her head to think about much else. And Alexandra was getting on her nerves, too. Reign can't figure out until today what the human had intended with their meeting last week. She can't figure out her _own_ behavior during that meeting either. Alexandra had been downright mocking her. Her. Reign. It was outrageous, it was disrespectful, it was something the Worldkiller wouldn't stand for. She had wanted to punish Alexandra into obedience, to discipline her and make her learn her place when it came to Reign. She is a God, whereas the human is nothing but a speck of dust on the face of the Earth. And she had wanted to hurt her, oh how she had wanted to hear the human's delicious screams. But when she had her chance to get rid of the human once and for all, she faltered. She failed. Her host had raised a storm inside her, concentrated her last forces against Reign to protect her mate. And even when Sam became too weak to protest any longer, Reign couldn't hurt Alexandra.

Something had shifted inside the Worldkiller while she had the human pressed against the kitchen counter, helpless, trembling and reeking of fear. Alexandra's thundering heartbeat had filled her ears, the parts where their bodies touched had begun to tingle, grew hot and all of a sudden Reign couldn't move single muscle anymore. Instead of snapping the human's neck with the hand she had curled in her hair, she suddenly wanted to run her fingers through the short, red locks. Instead of pushing Alexandra further into the kitchen counter, she wanted to pull her up, to hold her. And this wasn't her host's doing, not _entirely_ at least. She, all by herself, couldn't hurt Alexandra. At the revelation, white hot rage exploded in the Worldkiller at the same moment as a deep confusion settled in her heart. The hotter the wish to kill Alexandra had burned in her, the less she was able to do it.

Admit it, Alexandra said.

But what is Reign supposed to admit? And to whom? That she actually, genuinely cares about the human. That the sight of her hurt or injured makes Reign fall into a rage. That everybody who wronged Alexandra shall feel the full force of the Bringer of Justice. That the human was right and Reign herself has feelings, feelings exclusively tied to the redhead. That couldn't be it. That _just_ couldn't be true. It would call _everything_ into question she knows, _everything_ she believes in. It would shatter the very foundation of her being.

In her utterly unruly, all-consuming rage and fury she had burned down a whole block of warehouses in an old industrial park. Afterwards she hadn't felt any better. Sam's emotions no longer merely root in Reign, they grow and spread and the Worldkiller suspects that they are contagious. That emotions and feelings begin to stir in the Worldkiller that are entirely her own.

Now, she must soothe this war inside her, must shield it from any prying eyes. It makes her weak and Purity will eradicate anything in their way of absolute power. Purity will snuff out Sam and Alexandra the instant she knows about Reign's turmoil. The Worldkiller knows that her host is strong, that her will is astonishing and she has her own ways to shield Sam from danger if it is necessary.

But Alexandra is only a fragile, defenseless human and all her _fierceness_ and all her _stubbornness_ will not help her when Purity lets her heart explode inside her ribcage. She must protect Alexandra. Come what may. She really does not want to be in the same body as Sam, if Alexandra died.

As Reign walks through the dark warehouse at the waterfront, she wonders what her sister called her here for. Since their failed attempt to kill the humans in the desert they have barely seen each other, lay in ambush, waited for the right time to strike again. Waited for Pestilence to show herself. Because of the conflict smoldering inside her, Reign hadn't really sought out her remaining sister. Hadn't searched for her in the boiling intestines of the city, in the crisp airstreams wafting around the tips of the skyscrapers. It was possible that she simply _missed_ her arrival. But Purity wouldn't. Purity is devoted to their mission with a wild, unfaltering determination, one Reign cannot find in herself anymore. Pestilence's awakening is the only logical explanation she can find as to why Purity called her here on a Sunday afternoon.

"Finally, you arrived," Purity says with a sinister smile on her face when Reign reaches her.

“So, it seems. What did you call me for?”

In her sister's presence Reign can feel her host withering inside her, can feel her weakening. How the presence of a second Worldkiller is suffocating her. To Reign's utter surprise Sam's retreat unsettles her. In all the years she has waited in her slumber, Sam has been the only one by her side. Involuntarily and unbeknownst but she has been there. After all this time, the prospect of her host's disappearance doesn't feel like something desireable anymore. The Worldkiller shakes the feeling off. She cannot give herself away in front of Purity.

"Our sister woke up. She is here," Purity says, excited.

At the prospect of the three of them finally united, Reign can feel her own heart beating faster: “Then let's go to her. Let us complete the Trinity.”

To her confusion, Purity shakes her head: "No, not yet. She is preparing something. Can't you feel it?" There Purity raises her arms, her palms facing upwards and she inhales deeply. Suddenly, Reign can feel it, too. There is a certain tension in the atmosphere, like lightning bolts are running through the air, charging the whole city with the prospect of something big.

“Yes, I can," Reign rumbles. “We will come to her when she is ready. And till then we will enjoy the terror she will bring over this city," she adds.

Purity wears the same menacing smile of anticipation as Reign does. Maybe seeing these filthy, unworthy humans cowering in the dust will set her mind right. As Reign is about to leave, Purity suddenly says: "What about the human?"

Reign's blood freezes: "Which human?”

Purity scoffs: "The human," she says, stressing the article. "The Agent. Alex Danvers." Her tongue curls around the letters like a snake around its victim, her tone laced heavily with loathing and hatred.

Reign's hands curl into fists. She is so close to tell her sister to not take the human's name in the mouth. "What about her?" she asks instead, just barely keeping the snarl out of her voice.

"Do not mock me," Purity says harshly, stepping closer, "I know that she is alive.” Then Purity stares long and hard into her eyes, her white eyes blind and yet all-seeing. Reign can feel her penetrating her soul, the last corner of her mind, digging and searching. Frantically, Reign tries to hide her thoughts about Alexandra, to bury them so deep down that she herself will not be able to find them again.

But then Purity raises an accusing finger at her: "You are _fond_ of her!" she spits. Her face contorts with disgust and rage: "You _care_ about her!”

Reign feels how her jaw tightens, how the muscles in her neck strain. This was not good.

“I told you to take care of her," Purity shouts in angry disbelief.

Suddenly, the last straw in Reign snaps, she lunges and punches her sister square in the face: "Who do you think you are to give me orders?" she growls, her voice stretched to the breaking point. This was the last time she let Purity question her authority, her dominance. Even a trinity had a leader and that is Reign. No one else.

Purity slowly stands up, her face an ugly contorted grimace: “When we are united, the human better be dead," she says threateningly. She comes even closer to Reign, so that they are almost toe to toe:

"Or I will take her, and I will take my time. I will peel the layers off her skin, make her look at each of her organs before I crush them in my bare hands and drink the juice from her spine while I listen to her screams. I'll make her drown in her own blood and then I will tell her it was your fault.”

The image is so horrifying that Reign's gut churns painfully, that Sam is thrashing violently in her, that there is real _fear_ cursing through her veins. For the first time ever. She doesn't move a muscle, though. Doesn't give Purity anything. Not one twitch, her face a stone-cold mask of indifference: "Do whatever you want.”

With one last, withering glare, her sister takes off. The second she is alone in the warehouse, Reign releases a breath she long forgot to be holding. 

 

* * *

 

 Sam just ended the call with Lena to ask if Ruby behaved and was a good kid.

Lena insisted that Ruby would stay for a sleepover with her, although it was a Sunday.

How many sleepovers should a teenager have in one week, Sam ponders amused.

Lena promised to personally bring her daughter to bed and drop her off at school tomorrow morning. Since Alex would not stay at the house with them anymore, Ruby was eager to spend time with her cool aunt and Sam stood no chance against their combined pouts. For once, Sam is looking forward to spending an evening alone. Another black-out caught her completely off-guard today and she is glad that Ruby had already been with Lena at the time. It left her in an emotional turmoil again and this is almost more exhausting compared to how she felt in the beginning of her sickness. On top of that, things with Alex are getting so intense so quickly that it probably will be good for them to spend the night apart. On the other hand, Sam yearns to have a quiet evening with her girlfriend and to ravish her on any horizontal surface her house offers. Her libido is going through the roof and each time she sees Alex it becomes harder to keep her hands to herself. She walks into the hall and eyes Alex' travel bag like a pawn. A thing she can hide to keep the Agent longer in her home.

As if on cue, she can hear a deep, rumbling engine coming up the drive-way. As she opens the front-door, Alex climbs down from her motorcycle. Sam watches from the doorframe with hungry eyes how her girlfriend pulls her helmet off and pushes a hand through her messy locks. In the cold winter light, her cheeks look as pale and hard like marble. A blinding smile is painted on her face while she walks, no she saunters, towards the house. The brunette leans her head against the doorframe, places a hand against the wood, smiling in return: "Hey.”

"Hey,” Alex responds.

For a couple of moments, they remain frozen on the doorstep, in their little bubble of content bliss. Then Sam turns around and steps inside because she is cold. She walks towards the foot of the stairs, her hand is half-way to the bag, then she straightens up abruptly. With wide eyes, she stares at Alex, who just closed the door.

"The sling is off,” she whispers.

The look in Alex' eyes is hot, and smoldering and Sam's mouth becomes dry. "The sling is off," the Agent repeats.

She puts her helmet on the sideboard, on the same spot where she put it the first time she was in this house.

Sam blinks and then her back hits the wall with a loud thud. Alex' mouth is on hers, _eager_ and _hungry_ and she parts her lips to greet her with just as much need.

This last week they have been dancing around each other with always an arm’s length between them and when they had collided it had left them both _aching_ and _wanting_. Always held back by time and place and circumstances. Now, they finally come together in their wild kisses like they have been starving, like they have been lovers without a lover. 

Their hands are groping at every patch of naked skin they can reach, tear at sweaters and shirts that are in the way. All the pent-up longing and desire spills out of them in low hums and rumbling moans, impregnating the still air around them with their love.

Under Alex’ touch Sam begins to tremble in the most delicious way, like she is an instrument and Alex is an expert at playing her, albeit holding her like this for the first time. Her whole body quivers between the wall and Alex’ warm body, torn between expecting _lovemaking_ or the _fuck_ of her lifetime. Torn between feeling _shy_ because she is the sole center of so much raw attention and _eager_ because she wants to hear her own name tumble from Alex’ lips when the redhead falls apart at the mercy of her fingers and tongue. 

Sam is literally left speechless every time by Alex' kisses, fascinated by just how good they are. How Alex knows how to flick her tongue, how to angle her head, how to be gentle and rough in this breathtaking way that leaves Sam dizzy and gasping. Then Alex' strong hands are under her shirt, nails scratching over the outline of her abs and she cannot suppress a guttural groan. 

Oh, the things she will be able to do to her, once she touches her the way she is being touched now. 

She revels in the effect she has on her girlfriend, in the control she has over her, using nothing more than a sound. Because Alex’ touch against her stomach becomes harder, pressing her palms along the curve of her ribs, torturously slow. Her hand slides over the curve of her ribcage, sending shivers so strong through Sam that she lifts her back from the wall. Her finger ghosting the underside of her bra and Sam wonders how it is possible that they fit so _seamlessly_. 

Sam moans against her lips and Alex swallows her up, drinks her desire up with every kiss with every curl of her tongue.

Sam wants to be taken by this gorgeous woman until her legs will not be able to support her anymore and Alex' name is the only thing in her mind. It has been so long already for her, for them and the wait makes Sam’s body sing for Alex. 

And with the intensity of an epiphany, it hits Sam that she is ready for Alex, that she has _always_ been ready for her. She brings Alex in for another feverish kiss, nips on her bottom-lip to let her know just how much she needs and wants her.

 

They make it to the landing before the first clothes fall to the floor.

 

When they stumble through the bedroom door, Sam is already naked.

 

* * *

 

Sam slams her hands on the frame of the small sink in the private bathroom of her office, softening the blow of Alex' shove who stumbles in right after her, instantly pressing up into her back. Sam feels the swell of Alex' breasts against her shoulders, her hot breath on her sensitive ear and the need spreads in her abdomen like wildfire. They haven’t even started yet and Sam’s breath already stumbles in her chest, her heart beating so erratic that she might faint.

Alex wraps one hand around her chest, _possessive_ and _controlling_ and Sam is surprised how she lets her so easily. That when everything in her life is slipping out of her grasp, she is so willing to hand her body over to Alex, too. But maybe this is just how much she _trusts_ her, trusting Alex to treat her like a delicate flower just about to bloom even in her headless hunger, even when her hands hold her with enough force to shatter her. Alex slips her fingers under her blouse, into her bra and she is so sensitive that she grows hard under her calloused palm the second their skin touches. Alex uses the other hand to press Sam’s hip forcefully into her crotch, anchoring Sam to her body, not even allowing the air to squeeze in between them. Sam throws her head back, to give Alex access to as much of her body as she can, to lie herself bare under her girlfriend’s desire. She buries one of her hands into Alex' locks to guide her mouth down.

"Did you lock the door?" She moans breathlessly.

Now, Alex uses her own hips to trap Sam against the sink, shoving and shifting so close to Sam that she can feel Alex’ heat in her back. Between her gasps, a relieved sigh escapes her, knowing that she is not the only one who is so worked up, that Alex is wanting _her_ , wanting _this_ , just as much as she does. It’s almost too good to be true. Then Alex moves her hands to rid the CFO of her expensive blazer:

"Of course,” she growls, tugging eagerly at the collar of Sam's blouse only seconds later.

Alex' mouth and hands are everywhere, kissing and biting, stroking and scratching and Sam's knees turn to jelly.

Yesterday, Sam had reveled in the sight and feeling of Alex falling apart beneath her, of making her cry out in pleasure over and over again, being the one to guide Alex over the edge and catch her at the end of her fall. Yesterday, she has been the one to worship every part of Alex’ gorgeous body, every line, every scar. The soft, soft skin on the inside of her thighs, the hard, jumping plain of her defined stomach, the swell of her breasts and the impossible, glorious warmth deep inside her. Sam has never tasted anything sweeter than Alex. Honey pales in comparison. She had taken and taken until she tasted every last spot on Alex and then she has given herself until Alex’ arms around her were the only thing holding her together.

Since their first mind-blowing, whole-night lasting time they had, consequently, even less self-control around each other. Every kiss carried the delicious aftertaste of _that_ night. And when Alex had walked into her office ten minutes ago with the excuse of bringing her lunch, Sam's mind had instantly gone to the gutter.

 _This_ is something else entirely than yesterday, though. Last night, Alex had been _gentle_ and _sweet_ and _attentive_ , only withholding the much needed release from Sam until she almost couldn't take it anymore. She had made her feel things she thought were impossible, coaxed noises out of her she wasn’t even aware of being able to make and she had loved her, loved her so completely that Sam forgot that her body has knees, that she has lungs to breathe.

She thought that she will be ruined for anyone who comes after this, if there ever comes someone after _Alex_. That if she ever undresses another woman or man in her life, she will be searching for Alex in their skin, between their legs. It will be Alex’ name that rolls from her tongue.

Today, Alex is furious and demanding and messy and so, _so_ hot.

She is like a storm in a heavy summer night and Sam is the earth waiting for the sweet release of rain.

Sam feels the blouse slipping from her shoulders, pooling in her elbows and then Alex’ hot mouth is on her neck, her teeth biting into the sensitive skin. Sucking on the spot that always drives Sam crazy, bruising her, marking her and Sam wants the whole world to see it. She spreads her legs so wide that she can feel Alex' thigh pressing against the end of her spine as if to tease her. But Sam is already so turned on that she cannot take any teasing. She shoves her hips back so hard that the button of Alex' pants stings in her back but she doesn't care, every touch, every sensation just adds to her need to be filled with everything Alex is willing to give her. She already feels her own arousal hot and wet between her legs, and she wants Alex' fingers inside her.

“Alex...", she whines, her tone impossibly needy.

The Agent has both of her hands on Sam's heaving chest, rolling one of the brunette's nipples between her thump and index finger, palming her other breast and Sam can only arch her back and thrust her hips to tell Alex what she _really_ wants, her skin is on fire, her mouth too busy voicing how good she feels to produce any words.

"You look _so_ hot in your suits," Alex rumbles into her ear before tracing the outline of Sam's ear with her tongue. And there are flashes of memories dancing in front of her inner eye, memories in which they both still pine over the other, memories in which Alex stares at her with hooded, black eyes, biting her bottom lip and undressing Sam with her eyes alone, touching her without touching her. At times, her gaze was so intense that Sam felt it in the wrinkles of her shirt, how it slipped under the lapels of her blazer and into her tight pants. At times she felt naked in front of Alex while being fully dressed.

Sam's legs almost buckle at her words. "Fuck," she curses.

With trembling hands, she makes quick work of her pants, she reaches the point where the word _control_ loses all its meaning. And it feels _great_. She slides her pants just enough over her hipbones so that Alex will be able to push a hand into her panties and reach her dripping center. Reaching the aching, sweet spot inside her that will make her fall apart. Craning her neck, she brings the redhead in for a sloppy, frantic kiss, tightening the hold on Alex’ hair. As much as she loves it to be at Alex’ mercy like this, they are still doing it in a bathroom, at work and time is a luxury they do not have. And Sam cannot take much more teasing, her hips already frantically searching for someone to meet the pulsing in her, searching for Alex to spread the tightness in her until she snaps.

The palm of her other hand glides over the knuckles of Alex' right hand, her fingers curl around the Agent’s wrists and she pushes down, down to where everything is waiting for her. Alex gets the hint, glides her hand over Sam's taught stomach, into her panties, pressing Sam’s hips down on her thigh again. Sam feels Alex' biceps ripple that is pressed against her right breast and she sucks in a shuddering breath. From the tips of her fingers to her palm, Alex moves her hand in one, long, hard stroke over Sam’s pulsing clit before burying two of her fingers completely in her arousal.

Sam simultaneously bucks her hips and falls forward, so that she must place her hands on the sink again to support herself. She feels how Alex lifts her thigh to bury her fingers _deeper_ in Sam and at the first thrust, Sam rolls her hips down. When they meet, Alex lets out a sound caught somewhere between a _moan_ and a _growl_ and she knows that her girlfriend can barely keep it together either. A string of curses falls from her lips, reveling in the stretch of Alex inside her that is still not enough, and she wants _more_.

Alex continues to place wet kisses on her shoulder, setting a steady, hard rhythm. Pumping in an out of Sam just the way she likes and needs it. The way that will make it hard to walk and leave the ghost of her movements inside her for days. Alex' free hand guides her body back upwards, straightens first her hips, then her stomach, then her chest, so that she almost _rides_ Alex' fingers. So that she almost sits on her thigh and Alex is _deeper_ inside her than she thought was possible. She feels herself dripping into Alex’ palm, begins to rotate her hips to find anything that will push her over the edge. She is so close already that she can taste the release on her tongue, feel her climax approaching with the force of a solar storm.

But then Alex' hand is splayed against her throat, her fingers pressing gently under her jaw, her palm resting in the hollow of her neck and while she would have cringed at this motion with anybody else, Sam shows her approval for Alex with a moan that makes her skin vibrate. Because Alex is so unbelievingly gentle with her, her fingers around her throat never hurting, never intimidating while the other never stops to move between her legs. Alex tilts her head backwards until Sam’s spine is shaped like a bow and she places feverish kisses against her pulse point. Sam's eyes fall shut while Alex picks up her speed, unable to hold them open any longer. There is no need anyway because she cannot see Alex’ face. She feels how her whole body begins to tense, how her walls clench around Alex’ unrelenting fingers. When Alex presses her palm against her clit, and she curls the fingers inside her, hitting the secret spot hidden away in her, Sam is gripped by an earth-shattering orgasm. Alex continues to move inside her to draw out wave after wave of pleasure and Sam almost comes again.

The echo of Alex' name from the walls is so loud that it drowns her raging heartbeat that is as powerful as a clap of thunder. The only thing keeping her from tumbling to the floor like the hot mess she is, are the Agent's strong arms wrapped tightly around her. Sam is limp in her embrace, all the tension and anticipation that has held her upright has dripped into Alex’ palm. No strength is left in her and she leans into her girlfriend’s chest, panting and gasping. While she slowly comes down from her high, the redhead retreats her fingers carefully and Sam almost collapses. She turns around in Alex' embrace, wraps her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders and sinks into her, not trusting her legs to carry her, not trusting herself to have any control over her body. She nuzzles her nose against the redhead's neck while she regains control over her breathing. Meanwhile, Alex places soft kisses against her temple, so _sweet_ and _gentle_ like she didn’t just fuck Sam’s lights out.

"That was..." Sam pants.

"Yeah," Alex chuckles. Sam can feel her smile wide, feels her pride in the curve of the lips that are pressed against the side of her face. Then she registers through her haze that the Agent's fingers are stroking up and down her sides, her nails raking over the lines of her shoulder blades, how she begins to press into Sam again. With a puzzled expression, the brunette leans back and gulps at the look in her girlfriend's eyes. There is only _hunger_ and _desire_.

Then she kisses Sam, long and deep, her tongue writing love letters in the hollow of her mouth.

When they break apart to breathe, Alex murmurs: "I'm not finished with you."

Wordlessly, she drops on her knees in front of Sam and the brunette's mind goes blank.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes later, the two walk out of the bathroom with wide, lazy grins on their faces.

Sam closes the buttons on her blouse while Alex leans against the desk with a smug grin on her face.

"I bet Jess heard you."

Sam blushes furiously: "Oh God, I hope not.”

When the CFO is finished with her blouse, Alex holds the rumpled blazer out to her: “You weren’t exactly quiet,” she says, shrugging one shoulder and smiling innocently.

Sam cocks her head to the side, gives her girlfriend a meaningful stare while she shrugs into the light jacket: "I wonder whose fault that was.”

They both grin, as Alex tugs the CFO forward by the lapels of her blazer.

Out of nowher,e there is a loud bang. Sam jerks and Alex whirls around, instantly reaching for her gun.

"What was that?” Sam asks nervously. Alex is alert and tense, lets her eyes roam over the office.

"I don’t know," she says.

They notice the smudged spot on one of the glass walls separating the office and the balcony, at the same moment. Tentatively, they walk towards the door leading outside.

"Stay behind me," the Agent says, her gun raised. But Sam stares at her with raised eyebrows and opens the door.

"Hey!" Alex hisses.

Sam turns around towards her: "You're really sweet," then she spreads her arm over the length of the balcony, "But no one is...” The rest of the sentence gets stuck painfully in her throat when she spots a little lump in the snow a couple of feet away from her.

“What did you find?" Alex asks, coming up behind her, in the same moment the next dead bird drops into the snow. Eyes wide in horror they look out onto the city. One dead bird after the other drops out of the sky.

"Alex, what is happening here?" Sam asks, fear prickling in her neck like a pincushion. And a disgusting, oozy excitement curls in her stomach. She grabs the Agent's hand. But before the redhead can answer, her phone rings.

"Supergirl?” she asks, her tone serious, her face hard. She listens for a couple of seconds then she says: "I'm on my way!”

By their joined hands, Alex pulls the brunette back inside. "What is going on? Do you know anything?" Sam wants to know.

Alex looks at her seriously, all softness has left her features, she is only the Agent right now: "Where is Ruby?"

Sam furrows her brows: "Still at school, why?”

Alex is shoving her bag into her hands, shrugs into her leather jacket, gripped by a nervous energy: "Pick her up. Get in touch with Lena. It would be best if you stayed with her at CatCo. They way home is too long. Don't go outside."

Sam nods confused.

"Good. Now, don't let on anything." Then she opens the door of Sam's office and marches out without another word. If the situation wasn’t so ugly, then Sam would have laughed at Jess’ red face when the two pass. But things _are_ ugly and so the CFO gives her only a nod before following Alex to the elevator.

"What is happening outside? What is going on?" Sam asks again while they ride to the parking lot.

Alex has her hands in her hips, stares impatiently at the display indicating the story. "It's the third Worldkiller. Pestilence."

Sam is shocked into silence at her words, icy-cold fingers wrapping around her heart. She knows that Alex will barge head-on into danger, head-on into a fight with now three Worldkillers. Everything in Sam is screaming to hold the Agent back but she must admit that this is Alex’ job, her _passion_ , her _purpose_. She cannot keep her from it and must let her go. Once they are in the parking lot, Sam cups Alex' cheeks, looks at her with big, fearful eyes:

"Stay safe, ok? Be safe and come back to me.”

Alex kisses her hard and short: "You, too." Then they kiss again: "I will call you," the redhead says, her eyes brimming with promises she cannot keep.

Then she sprints towards her motorcycle and is gone. Sam stands alone in the parking lot. Instead of walking to her car, her bag falls to the floor.

Someone is calling her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Break's over, now lets get back to good ol' angst.  
> I just edited the office scene. I hope it's better now ;)  
> As always, I hope you had fun reading this chapter and share your thoughts with me in the comment section.
> 
> PS: 3x17? What an episode. Are you as excited as I am for 3x18?


	11. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen now that the Trinity is complete?  
> Will Reign turn against her sisters?
> 
> Find out in chapter 11 how the combined forces of all three Worldkillers just might change everything!

* * *

 

Alex sprints down the corridors of the DEO already thinking which guns to carry, which grenades, what she has to expect at all.

She is more _there_ than _here_ , her body too slow to catch up with her mind that is miles away by now. The fear in her heart propels her feet forward, the worry about Kara and the others lets her run faster until she is almost flying through the halls. Images of the fight she is too late for springing up left and right like phantoms and she ploughs through them as if they were smoke. She needs a clear head, cannot let herself allow to be sidetracked by fear and worry. On her way to the armory, she stops by in the big office to catch at least a glimpse of what is going on. With three Worldkillers on the loose, even she needs more preparation than her biggest gun.

"Winn!" she shouts, the second she spots him.

"Alex!” he whirls around in front of the huge displays. "Thank God, you're here."

"What is going on?" she asks, coming to a slithering stop next to him, hazel eyes jumping from screen to screen, trying to take in as much as she can at once.

“It's Pestilence and she brought a literal pestilence over the city," he explains so fast he almost stumbles over his own words.

Alex’ eyes remain glued to the screen, trying to catch a glimpse of sunny blonde hair: "That's why it's raining dead birds?”

Winn nods next to her, calling up several recordings and pictures on the biggest screen: "After she infected the birds, she switched to humans. Kara and the others are on site trying to assess the damage and Mon-El and Imra are extracting the antidote from their genes.”

“Do we know who Pestilence's human is?" Alex keeps asking questions because she still hasn’t found what she is looking for in the multitude of information.

Winn nods triumphantly: "Yes, hold on.” Suddenly, there is a social media video in front of them: “The doctor in the background, that's her."

Alex spots a petite Asian woman in the background of the video, looking just as innocent as Julia, just as human as Sam. It makes her gut churn. How can there live such unspeakable horror in such kind hearts? And now that her two sisters are by her side, will Reign slip out of her grasp again just when she thought she got a hold on her? Will she go back to snapping Alex' bones like dry twigs? The most terrifying question, though, is that if she loses Reign to Pestilence and Purity, how is she supposed to save Sam? She takes a couple of deep breaths to chase the fear away, tunes her thoughts back to Winn.

"Grace Parker. Works as a surgeon in National City General.”

"Ok, good," Alex nods, then she flails her hands. "I cannot see anything in your mess. Where is Pestilence now? And Kara?”

Her worry makes her sound irritated and _maybe_ she is a bit angry after all. It's no one’s fault that she is late and, heavens, what she did with Sam in the bathroom, she would do it all over again. But, nonetheless, something sharp and ugly in her belly yells at her for being in _here_ instead of out _there_. She curls her hands into fists, vows to join the others as soon as she can, she will not be left behind. She may not have any super-powers but this is just as much her fight as it is theirs. Maybe even more hers because of Reign.

His fingers fly over the keyboard, he closes all the windows and right when the last remaining one spreads over the whole screen, something explodes and for a couple of seconds they only see white. They are both holding their breaths, all the worst possibilities rushing through their minds in the fraction of a second. When the smoke clears, they both gasp.

Kara and J'onn are engaged in a heated battle with Pestilence and Reign, tearing the whole building down around them. Walls are crumbling like toy blocks, glass is shattering everywhere and the dust swallows J'onn and Kara up so often that the fight plays out in front of them in stop-motion. Alex slams her hands on the desk: “No!”

Helplessly, she must watch as Reign uses the momentum of Kara's next punch to pull on her arm and drive a knee in the hero's stomach. How Kara deflects the next swings, takes advantage of an opening in Reign's defense and lands a series of punches in her face.

"No, no, no!” Alex repeats, her words stumbling, her voice high with panic. She raises her hands towards the screen as if she could stop the two from advancing on each other from here. Then she lets them drop, almost shoving the keyboard from the desk and the other trinkets in her frustration. She cannot watch this any longer, every punch Supergirl and Reign trade feels like it's hitting her own body, forcing the breath out of her lungs, making her sway on the spot. Seeing Reign is hard enough on its own, when it’s just the two of them in Alex' quiet apartment, or in the middle of the desert when the dust from the last fight settles around them like grey snow. But seeing Reign beating up her sister, grinding her into the ground, makes her question if Reign can be reached at all.

And she prays silently in her head: Please, stop. By God, please stop.

Because every hit Reign lands in Supergirl's face is another shovel on Sam's endless guilt and when Sam remembers it one day, it will _crush_ her.

"I need to get there," Alex exclaims, already half on the way to the armory.

She must stop this and if she must throw herself between the two Kryptonians. They must unite against Purity and Pestilence or they are all doomed and the longer they beat each other up, the less likely it becomes that they can fight side by side.

"And what do you want to do, once you're there?" Winn asks, coming after her, his pale cheeks like chalk, his expression a grimace of worry and concern.

They are all so much on edge these days and Alex wonders how much longer it will take until one of them cracks. Hesitantly, she turns to stare at him, thinking that if she tells him, he will try to lock her up. He knows, though, about Reign, about Sam, he is the only one who knows it _all_ apart from Alex. He heard what they talked about in Alex' apartment. He is smart, probably the smartest man Alex knows, and he must know what Alex has in mind, too. Suddenly, his face clears, the penny dropped:

“You cannot possibly think of talking Reign out of it. I mean, _look_ at her," he says, his voice doubling over.

She makes the mistake to look, to stare at Reign and her furious face while she tries to proof who has the stronger heat-gaze to Supergirl. Blue and red clash with so much force that the image begins to crackle with static. Alex is glad that they have no sound, she wouldn't be able to listen to their rage. Her heart breaks, nonetheless, because in this moment there is nothing, absolutely nothing left of Sam in Reign. She looks so utterly cold and heartless, all Worldkiller, no human. Alex must tear her gaze away. It hurts all the more because she has seen Reign so differently, has seen something so close to genuine concern and care in her dark, burgundy eyes. And she knows, she is the only one.

"I have to try at least," she retorts, hotly. It is an ugly feeling to be the only one believing in yourself.

"I know you think you're some kind of Worldkiller-Whisperer but what if you're _wrong_? What if your influence on her, is not as strong as you think?" Winn asks.

Alex shakes her head: "I'm not wrong. I _know_ there is goodness in her and that I can reach her.”

Alex has the fleeting feeling that she says this to herself as much as to Winn, that maybe the words can become true if only she speaks them out loud often enough. But Winn is not giving up yet: "Fine, ok. What if you reach her, but it is Sam and not Reign. What if Sam held her back in your apartment, what if she made Reign save you in the desert. And now think about what will happen if Sam is not there right now."

He points a threatening finger at the screen. Alex has enough of his doubt, her hands flail through the air in a gesture of finality. Does no one else see how much they need Reign? Kara and J'onn are having their asses handed to them with so much _ease_ that the Worldkillers don't even break out into a sweat. And apart from it all, Alex can never give up on Reign because giving up on _Reign_ means giving up on _Sam_ and she would rather die than letting that happen: "I will not give her up, Winn. Not one of them and I don't care..." then she trails off.

She presses her palms against her temples, her eyes widening, suddenly remembering, "I told Sam to pick Ruby up, to stay with Lena and now..."

Why does she remember this only _now_?

Shocked, she stares at the screen where the fight between Supergirl and the Worldkillers continues. "Oh God, Ruby. I must call Lena,” she stutters, reaching for her phone, her argument with Winn completely forgotten. The thought that Ruby waits alone in front of her school, the only kid that does not get picked up by a scared parent, unable to reach either Sam or her, is choking her.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," she chants while she waits impatiently for the millionaire to answer the phone.

After what feels like an eternity, she hears Lena's voice: " _Alex, care to tell me why it rains poultry?_ ”

"It's the third Worldkiller. The apocalypse is here. No time to explain," Alex rushes out, not wasting any time. "I can't get a hold on Sam and I cannot leave here. Ruby is still at school. Can you pick her up and stay with her until I reach Sam?”

Without hesitation, Lena says: " _Of course. I'll stay with her_.”

A huge weight is lifted from Alex' shoulders: "Thank you."

Then Lena adds: " _Go, do your job Agent. And try to stay in one piece this time._ ”

Alex thanks her again then she ends the call. Meanwhile, Winn has calmed down, stopped shouting at her. For a couple of moments, they stare at each other in the hall like two fencer or swordsmen or whatever, debating whether they should go another round or put their weapons to rest for the day.

“I have to go," Alex says, arms spread wide from her body, palms turned towards him.

"I know,” he says with his head bowed down before he looks at her again. Then he throws her an ear-piece: "Let's get you equipped.”

She catches the device, with her right hand, plugs it into her ear and smiles at him: "Thank you, Winn."

He has his hands in the hips and rolls his eyes: "Yeah, yeah,” then he adds, "Before you go out there to get your butt kicked, I have a little something for you." Even in the middle of chaos, he has the time and heart to grin at her with excitement. ”With the help of Brainiac, I may or may not have been able to even out the one thing that distinguishes you from National City's caped heroes," he says proudly.

Alex furrows her brows: "You invented a pill that gives me super-human strength, a heat-gaze and shape-shifting abilities? That would _definitely_ come in handy right now.”

He crinkles his nose: "What? No!” He begins to point with his hands at his own body, imitates a cape with his arms: “Think about it. They have the boots, they have the capes...” Alex cuts him off, her eyes shining with excitement, hands clasped in front of her mouth:

"No, you didn't!”

His grin widens: "You bet, I-"

Suddenly, the alarm goes off and it's so out of the blue that they both jump. "Winn, what is that?” Alex asks, while they run back to the array of screens.

“After the last fight with Purity, Brainiac and I were able to identify the frequency of the waves she emits. We put a tracker on that frequency and the alarm goes off because it is present somewhere in the city," he explains, his fingers hammering into the keys, pulling up a map of the city.

There is a red line highlighted, which zig-zags through the streets with frightening speed. "Oh, no," Winn mumbles becoming very still.

"She is coming to the DEO," Alex gasps.

With wide eyes, he turns towards her: "What does she want here?" Then he begins to shake: "Alex, we are all alone here! The others are either fighting the other Worldkillers or on the Legion ship."

"Shit," Alex curses, looking around frantically at all the Agents around them, at all the possible victims of Purity's attack. It would be a bloodbath, a massacre. She taps the ear-piece but all that rushes into her ear is static and fighting noises. She curses again. "We have to get the people out,” she says, her mind reeling to come up with a plan.

While her eyes wash over the office, she suddenly spots something next to one of the doors. She rushes over and hammers her fist against the panel for the fire alarm. Winn catches on to her plan and turns the alarm for Purity off. The next second, doors begin to open all around them and Agents fill the halls and corridors. For once, Alex is happy that the DEO training is so hard and thoroughly. Not _one_ of them thinks this is a joke.

She returns to Winn, keeps her voice low: "How long do we have?”

"Maybe one or two minutes?” he says.

Alex puts a hand through her locks: "God, damnit!” Then she adds: "Come on, we need to get out of here.”

He nods, grabs his tablet and together they follow the flow of Agents leaving the building. When the elevators and the doors leading to the staircase come into view, Winn stops abruptly in his run. Alex whirls around: "Why are you stopping?”

He retreats his steps, walks backwards slowly: "The suit."

"What?" Alex asks, torn between running towards the stairs and to Winn.

"Your suit. I cannot leave the building without it," he explains, now fully turning around.

She runs after him, mumbling curses between her tightly clenched teeth: "Ok. Get the suit then we're out of here.”

When she sees him cringe, she asks, her voice strained: "What _now_?” They are running towards a smaller staircase, one that links the different floors inside the building, one that doesn't lead outside.

"It's in a suitcase. In one of the tech labs," Winn explains when they are in front of the door to the stairs.

Alex conjures up a mental image of the DEO's layout in her mind. The tech labs are several stories above them: "Seriously, Winn!" she groans.

"I wanted to hide it from you until it's finished. And you never come to the tech labs. You think it's boring that we only work on machines," he defends himself and rips the door open.

She holds him back by the arm: "Forget it then! We need to get out of here before Purity arrives. The suit is not worth it.”

He yanks his arm free, steps further into the stairway: "I'm not leaving without it. I worked months on it and with the Congress blowing their budget in the wind, I'll maybe never get the chance to make you a new one.”

Alex rolls her eyes, tries to hide her disappointment because, damn, she would have really liked to see that suit: "I don't need the suit, Winn. I love that you did it, I'll love you forever but I'm not risking your or my life on it."

Suddenly, he looks so _serious_ and _angry_ at her that she almost lets go of him. He is such a kind soul that the anger looks like a mask on his face: "Sam was not the _only_ one worrying about you after the desert."

She looks at him with furrowed brows, a lump forming in her throat. After the fight at the Fortress of Sanctuary, she has been occupied so much with Sam that she barely thought about Kara and the others. They get hurt every day on their job, sometimes it's only a papercut, sometimes it's a broken Tibia and sometimes you get abducted and almost drown. But this happens every day and Alex thought that they all grew used to it in a certain dulled way. Apparently, she was wrong.

"We were all scared, ok. Do you have _any_ idea what you looked like when Kara found you?"

She gulps: "Winn, I...”

He shakes his head: "If you had had the suit, maybe less of your bones would have broken,” he sounds incredibly bitter.

Alex lets out a long sigh, eventually saying: "Let's go. But hurry.”

He nods: "You will thank me later."

And while everybody else leaves the building, the two sprint up the stairs.

 

* * *

 

 

There is only one story separating them from the DEO's Department of Engineering Development and Enhancement when out of nowhere the whole building begins to shake.

Their ear-pieces crackle: " _Winn? Winn? You're there?_ " Mon-El's voice explodes in their ears.

Winn is clinging to the banister, holding on so tight that his knuckles turn white: “Yes, I'm here. Alex is with me. What happened?”

" _Purity attacked us with a sonic blast. All six drives are down, and I'm afraid we just did an emergency landing between the fourth and fifth floor of the DEO_ ," Brainiac says.

"Is _everything_ going wrong today?" Alex exclaims while they slowly get back into motion.

" _Please, tell me you two are already out of the building?_ " Imra asks anxiously.

"Not exactly," Winn says.

" _Then hurry up with whatever you're doing. We're stuck here and there's a fire. We cannot get to you_ ," Mon-El says.

Alex and Winn share a worried glance. If there is a fire in the stories below them and it's spreading, then they will be stuck, too. By now, the emergency lights have sprung on and the alarm is off. It's almost eerily silent in the building. Like the loaded silence right before a devastating storm. "We will hurry," Alex hisses.

When there is only half a story left between them and the tech labs, they almost crash into a group of Agents. There are four young, sweaty, wide eyed recruits Alex has never seen before and Vasquez. They shout at the same time:

"What the hell are you still doing here?" and "Thank God, Danvers. It's you.”

Alex is really, really close to losing her last nerve: "Did you stuff your ears with tampons? Why did you not leave the building, when the fire alarm sounded. Immediately?” This situation is getting worse and worse. The more people they are, the harder it will be to get all of them out of the building in one piece.

"We were in a training room. Communication via gestures while under fire. We didn't hear a thing. Once, we're finished we go out and there's no one there and the alarm blares and what is even going on?" Vasquez stammers, looking almost as shaken as the four young Agents.

Alex groans in frustration: "The DEO is under attack by a Worldkiller" One of the Agents, a young blonde, looks about to faint and two of the guys start to hold hands.

"Follow us," the redhead growls.

The young blonde musters up the courage to ask: "Why are we going upstairs?”

Alex must concentrate all her willpower to not snap at her: " _Because_ there is both a Worldkiller and a fire under us and Agent Schott and I need to retrieve a _very_ valuable object from the tech labs.” Either it was her words or her tone, but everybody shuts up from then on and quietly follows Alex and Winn.

When they finally reach the correct floor, Alex orders the others to stay behind on the stairs while she and Winn look for the suitcase. While they sprint through the correct corridor, the walls begin to shake again. This time for longer, there are cracks forming in the ceiling and glass walls shatter. Suddenly, Alex cannot move a single muscle, she is frozen in her movement and the breaths don't come as easily into her lungs as they are supposed to.

“Hey, hey, hey," Winn says, places a hand on her shoulder, "Are you alright? Alex?”

Her lungs are cramping, her legs shake, and she must lean against the wall because she feels dizzy all of a sudden. She is in the cave again. Hears the deafening rumble, tastes the dust and the fear paralyzes her. Her heart is beating too fast, way too fast. This time, Reign will not come to save her life. There will be no body, hard and strong like stone, she can cling to, no arms with the strength to lift container ships around her to protect her. Suddenly, she wishes that Reign and Sam were here, just so she could see their face. Even if it's just for a second. "I... I can't..." she gasps.

Winn realizes what is happening and places his hands on her trembling shoulders, stares deeply into her wide, unmoving eyes: "Alex, listen to me. You have a panic attack." She can only stare at him, her mouth moves but no words come out. "You must calm down, ok? We will get out of here and at the end of the day you will take Ruby in your arms and give Sam a kiss and everything will be fine," he says, still looking deep into her eyes, to see if she heard him at all. She can't get the air into her lungs and her breaths become shorter and shorter. "Think about them, Alex. Think about your daughter and your girlfriend. You cannot pass out now. That would really suck," Winn says.

Suddenly, her muscles relax, her lungs expand, and she splutters: "Ruby is _not_ my daughter."

Winn lets out a relieved sigh: "That's the one thing you complain about right now?" He gives her a little reassuring smile.

She gulps down a couple of deep breaths: "She is _not_ my daughter, " she repeats.

She doesn't hear how he mumbles under his breath: "Not yet.”

Finally, they find the right lab and while Alex waits in the door, still grumbling about Winn's comment, he enters to get the suitcase. As he comes back, he shoves a gun into her hands, pressing the suitcase to his chest like a newborn: "This is a little extra on top.”

Alex weights the gun in her right hand, eyes shining with excitement: "Sweet. I would love to try it on Purity," she grins.

"Hopefully not today," Winn says with pale cheeks, “The effect is a real blast, so to speak.”

"I like things with a blast, "Alex says and then they leave the lab.

On their way back to Vasquez and the others, Winn starts to fan himself: "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?"

Alex crouches down and places her palm on the floor. It’s like touching a stovetop. Glancing over her shoulder, she says: "The fire is spreading. We are in trouble.” Then she taps the ear-piece: "Guys, what is our situation with the fire? It's getting a little hot up here.”

" _We are currently shielding the armory_ , " Imra says, her voice sounding strained. Alex imagines that she is the one doing most of the shielding with one of her psychic force-fields.

" _If the fire reaches it and all your toys blow up, then this building will crumble like a Jenga tower_ ," Mon-El says.

"Try to contain it as long as you can. We look for an exit," Alex orders.

" _We will do our best, Alex. But my calculations predict that you have approximately four minutes and thirty-seven seconds before we must give up our current position_."

Alex rolls her eyes: "Really, Brainy? Approximately?”

He sounds confused: " _Now, it is four minutes and thirty seconds_.”

"Not helping," she hisses. Alex still can't get a hold on Kara or J'onn and her face contorts with worry.

Winn places a hand on her shoulder: "They will be ok. Both of them."

Alex realizes with a rush of sudden guilt that he meant Kara and J'onn. Instead of J'onn she was thinking about Sam and Reign. "Let’s go," she mumbles, not looking at him to hide her shame.

* * *

 

 

Next thing, they are stumbling back onto the staircase.

Alex stares into the round of tight, scared faces and says: "Imra? You listening?"

" _I'm all ears_ ," she says and by now she cannot hide the exhaustion in her voice anymore. They are running out of time.

"Ok, listen up. We are trying for the roof can you gu-” Alex halts in the middle of her sentence. There's a shift in the atmosphere around her, something she cannot quite grasp but she can feel goosebumps raising on her arms. A sudden wave of ice-cold dread washes over her.

"Danvers?” Vasquez asks, tentatively.

"She's here," Alex mumbles.

Before anyone can do anything else, the whole stairwell explodes around them. A sonic wave hit the wall to their right and they are whirled through the air like dolls. No one can say anymore where up and down is, the world is spinning and there is nothing around them to hold on to. Hips are colliding forcefully with the banister, shoulders with hard, concrete steps and faces crash with crumbled pieces of the wall. Everything begins to crumble around them and they drop several feet down, helplessly, in free-fall.

Alex' back hits the round table in the DEO main office with so much force that she cannot breathe for a couple of seconds and her ears are ringing. Groaning and disoriented, she lets her head fall back over the edge of the table. The others are scattered throughout the office, but they are all either _groaning_ or _twitching_ and she lets out a relieved sigh. At least no one is dead. Then she spots her gun lying right on the edge of the table, barely out of reach, perfectly balanced, half of it dangling in the air half of it not. The second she reaches for it, something crashes down on her through the hole in the ceiling.

"I finally found you, Alex Danvers," Purity says, her white eyes so piercing that Alex feels like she stabbed right into her heart.

"Purity,” Alex growls, itching her fingers closer to the gun. She cannot get a hold on it, though, because suddenly Purity wraps both hands around her throat and squeezes.

"I tolerated your irritating presence long enough. This ends now.”

She tightens her hold on Alex' throat and the redhead hears the blood rushing in her head. Panic climbs up in her ribcage, making it hard to think. She tries to think about what Winn said to her only minutes ago, that it is _not_ her day to die. That she will go home at the end of the day, wrap her arms around Ruby and kiss Sam like there is no tomorrow. It is _not_ her day to die, she repeats like a mantra. With one hand, she claws desperately at Purity's hands, fully knowing that it will not make any difference, while she tries to finally reach her gun.

"When you are dead, Reign will come back to us and then there is nothing left in our way.”

Alex holds her gaze, grinds her teeth, stretches her fingers further. Not wasting any air to answer her crazy monologue. She can feel the cold metal beneath her fingertips, but the gun was so dangerously close to the edge. If she makes one wrong move, it will fall to the floor and Purity chokes her to death.

“I will turn your skin inside out and then I will eat your heart while you're still alive. When it’s over and you’re nothing more than a lifeless shell, I will bring your remains to Reign and tell her that this is the price she has to pay for her doubt," Purity says with a cruel smile on her face, her voice ringing with a perverse kind of excitement.

Alex' vision becomes dizzy. She curls her fingers around the cold metal. "Not today, bitch!" she growls.

In one rapid movement, she brings the gun between their chests and pulls the trigger. Winn did not downplay the effect of the gun. The blast erupts in a blinding, red cloud between them, emitting an enormous shockwave. Purity lets out a furious scream and gets propelled back through the hole she just came through while the table under Alex yields.

"Holy mother of Rao," Alex pants, curls into a ball to shield her body from the debris that rains down on her. That call was _way_ too close.

Coughing, she rolls from the remains of the table, comes to rest on her knees. Sweat drops onto her knuckles and she notices how hot it has become around them. The air is so dry that breathing feels like inhaling the air coming straight out of a blow-drier.

Suddenly, Kara's voice explodes in her ear: " _Alex, Alex? Are you alright? What is going on?_ ” She sounds so tired and defeated that Alex' heart clenches. It also sounds like she is talking through a mouth full of blood.

"Purity," she rattles, "Purity is attacking the DEO. Where are you?” For a couple of moments, she only hears fighting noises, bones connecting with bones, grunts and growls and she clenches her eyes shut.

Then Kara says: " _We lost sight of Reign, but Pestilence has us cornered. We cannot get away_."

Alex swallows the array of curses that bubble up in her chest. "Concentrate on Pestilence. We will get out of here on our own.”

She stands up and slowly walks to the others. Winn hides under a desk, Vasquez is comforting the crying blonde and two guys are leaning over the remaining Agent who is groaning in pain. "I told you, you would thank me later," Winn says as he comes out from under the desk.

Alex waves the gun at him: "You just saved my life. _One_ thank-you is not enough.”

Then they all step closer to the young Agent who is whimpering like a child. "We think he broke his leg," one of the others says.

Alex' answer gets interrupted by a deafening screeching sound and then a crack begins to form on the other side of the room, smoke is rising out of the rift, black and thick. All of a sudden, the floor begins to tilt, screens are crashing on the floor, chairs are rolling through the room and they really need to get out. Like, this instance.

"You will carry your fellow Agent out of this building and if it’s the last thing you will do," Alex orders the two young men. They nod, both looking terrified but determined at the same time. Hectically, she taps the ear-piece: "Imra. We need you at the balcony. Right now. Abandon ship. Abandon the God damn building," she shouts.

" _Alex? You can't be serious_ ," Mon-El answers.

"I said abandon your position. We have six Agents here that need to be extracted as soon as possible. One is injured.”

"We are seven," Winn stutters, lets his eyes wash over their small group as if to count each of them just to make sure, "We are seven," he repeats.

Alex grabs him roughly by the collar of his shirt: "Balcony. Now," she hisses and they all scramble as fast as possible towards the large open front in the DEO's facade.

Then Kara's voice sounds in her ear again: " _Alex what is your plan? What are you up to?_ " she sounds frantic. She doesn't answer her, all she must concentrate now is getting them all out of the building alive. She is the last of their group, making sure that no one is getting left behind. She casts a nervous glance over her shoulder, comes to a slithering stop when she spots how Purity emerges from the rising smoke like a living nightmare.

"Alex, come on!" Winn screams.

Without looking, at him she shouts back: "You keep going! Don't stop running until you reach the balcony!”

"But," he wants to protest.

"Go!" she insists. She hears them all getting back into motion, squares her shoulders and lifts her gun.

" _Please, go with them,_ " Kara pleads. " _You cannot fight her. You can't win. You can't win,_ " she stutters in her panic.

Alex squints into the smoke. The floor is tilting so much by now that it becomes harder and harder to keep a steady footing. And Purity is _really_ taking her damn time.

"Come, on, come on, come on," Alex chants. If she fires too early, it will not have any effect on the Worldkiller.

They react in the exact same moment. Purity inhales deeply to emit a disastrous sonic blast while Alex empties her complete magazine in the Worldkiller's direction.

The combined force of the sonic wave and the blast from the gun hurls Alex backwards, she bounces two times on the floor until she rolls a couple of feet through dust of concrete and glass shards. Her head is spinning, her ears are ringing again or maybe it is just the multitude of voices screaming her name. Tentatively, she blinks, and her breath gets caught in her throat. The floor has broken away where just seconds ago Purity stood, and it is like looking into _hell_ itself. The floors below are nothing, but an ocean made of angry, licking flames and the biting, black smoke makes her eyes water. Slowly getting herself together, Alex hopes that Purity will simply perish in this pandemonium. Then the ringing in her head makes sense again and everybody shouts at her at the same time.

Kara is crying her name over and over again and Winn screams: " _Alex, the whole building is coming down. You need to get moving. Now!_ ”

The hell pit in front of her slowly spreads through the rest of the building, more and more of the floor gives away to the heat and she gets back on shaking feet.

"On my way," she coughs. Her legs momentarily buckle, she falls back to the floor but when she hears the first explosions ringing through the burning halls of the DEO, she gets her move on. Parts of the ceiling are coming down by now and the floor tilts more and more. Alex is taking to her heels as fast as she can. Sprinting through the collapsing hall, she avoids an air shaft that comes sailing through the ceiling and a burst of steam that suddenly erupts from a nearby wall. Then finally, she can make out the balcony and a patch of clear winter sky. Mon-El, Imra and Brainiac are hovering in front of it, each of them carrying one or two Agents. She sees Winn squirming in Brainiac’s arms, hears his voice in her ear: " _Hurry, Alex! Hurry!_ ”

Even from the distance, she can see that she will not make it, that Imra can barely hold onto the blonde and Vasquez, that Brainiac struggles to keep Winn from falling out of his embrace and Mon-El just looks as useless as ever. Just when she thought it couldn't get any worse, she sees how parts of the building rain down on the Legion, how they do their best to avoid the falling parts but it is clear that they need to leave immediately.

"Mon-El?" Alex bellows in the ear-piece.

" _I'm here_ ," he answers.

Heaving she climbs the stairs, she almost made it: "Get them away from here, right now!", she orders.

Instantly protest from various people sounds so loud from the ear-piece that she cringes.

" _You can't be serious?_ " he gulps.

“ _Alex, no! Don't you dare. You must get out of there!_ " Kara screams from God knows where she is, " _I'm too far away. I can't make it on time!_ ”

Alex swallows. Kara's panic is like hundreds of tiny needles piercing her heart. "Mon-El, listen to me,” she says, her voice suddenly very calm, very composed, "For _once_ in your life, be a man and do the _right_ thing. Or we will all die." Then she takes the ear-piece out and throws it to the floor.

The very moment she finally reaches the top of the stairs, her gaze locks with Mon-El's for a single heartbeat. He nods and then he descends. Brainiac and Imra stare in shock at him and Vasquez and Winn are thrashing in their arms but eventually they drop out of sight, too.

Alex leans against the banister for a couple of moments to catch her breath. Her eyes sweep over the remains of what used to be the DEO. There are so many memories tied to this place that it is almost like her second home. She can see them come to life in the swirls of the black, thick smoke only to be swallowed by greedy flames seconds later. It's all burning down to ashes. And she can do nothing about it. She lets out a strangled sigh, leans her head back and allows herself a single tear to bury this place. Then she turns towards the balcony.

"Come and save me," she says to the hell raging around her.

She breaks out into a run. And when the left tower of the Department of Extranormal Operations folds in on itself with a deafening, shaky, last breath like a giant beast admitting its final defeat, Alex jumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter was a wild ride.  
> I hope you held your breath while reading it and don't hate me for that cliffhanger.  
> As always I would be delighted if you leave me a little something in the comment section :)
> 
> PS: I hope no one is too disappointed that this chapter diverges so much from 3x16.


	12. Alex/Sam/Reign/Jess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who will save Alex?  
> Reign? Kara? Mon-El? Will anyone?  
> Why does Jess make a Kill Bill reference?  
> Whose hearts will break at the end of the chapter?
> 
> Find out in chapter 12 how Alex is torn between Sam and Reign and might regret everything she did in the last couple of weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an impatient b*tch so have the new chapter two days early ;)

* * *

 

Alexandra lands in her arms with so much force that Reign momentarily sags in the air.

She is so furious with the human that she considers dropping her again the next second. She wants to dangle her from the edge of a building for being so careless with her precious life. But then Alexandra wraps her arms tightly around Reign’s neck, buries her face against the spot where her shoulder curves upward and Reign feels her shaking like a leaf in a tornado. She curls her whole body into the Worldkiller and the puffs of hot air against Reign’s skin make everything tingle.

Oh, how unnerving these emotions can be. She cannot stand them.

Surprisingly, the human’s weight in her arms smooths the ripples in her soul, brings her back to this moment, tame the beast in her. Reign scowls. Despite her fury, she tightens her hold on Alexandra.

In the middle of her fight with the caped sinner, she has been gripped by a queasy sense of foreboding, wondering why Purity was not by her side. Together they had watched Pestilence’s Awakening and basked in the chaos and fear she created. When the blonde Kryptonian and the Martian had appeared, they decided to join their newborn sister, to give these human allies a taste of their new strength. And that must have been the moment Purity used to slip away. The bad feeling got worse the longer she was fighting and eventually Reign caused a distraction with her heat-gaze, leaving Pestilence to deal with the two so-called heroes. Her youngest sister was so drunk on her new powers that she eagerly jumped on the opportunity to flex her muscles. The Worldkiller rose high above the building, searching in the beat of the city for her lost sister. The second she picked up Purity’s sonic wave, Reign shot down like a torpedo, flew past the skyscrapers so fast that the windows rattled. Since their last conversation, Reign remained alerted around her sister all the time. She couldn’t gauge what Purity would do, now that she knew Reign’s resolve was crumbling, that she had doubt about their cause and that the reason for that is a certain redheaded human. Reign couldn’t tell if Purity would turn on her or on Alexandra and she wasn’t keen to find it out. She tried to concentrate on the sounds around Purity.

Where was she and why?

But listening in on her sister’s surroundings was like putting your ear next to a beehive. The mix of several stressed human voices, the hissing and sizzling of a fast-spreading fire and the unmistakable crunch of breaking concrete swelled to a roaring crescendo in Reign’s head, so thunderous that it almost drowned out Alexandra’s voice.  

If Purity just as much as touched the tiniest spot on the human’s body, Reign would tear her to shreds.

When the human fortress came into view with its identical twin towers, she heard Alexandra calling for her.

Now, her feet touch ground on a roof nearby the collapsing tower. She sets the human down, wants to take a step back to let her frustration and anger out but finds herself unable to. Alexandra doesn’t let go of her, keeps clinging to her as if she didn’t realize that they are not flying anymore. The air around them is heavy with the sounds of the collapsing fortress and at the next particular loud crash, the human tightens her hold on the Worldkiller even further, swallows a shuddering breath.

Reign turns her head towards the sight of destruction, watches with calm eyes how the bigger half of the tower falls in on itself, how a cloud of debris, dust and concrete rises up like the last protest of a dying monster. The human fortress lies in ruins and Reign is aware that she should feel something at this triumph: pride, smugness, the kind of satisfaction one is overcome with when they settled an injustice with someone.

An eye for an eye. A fortress for a fortress.

All she feels, though, is that Alexandra’s shoulders still tremble, the shockwave of the collapse that eventually reaches them and how her cape billows wildly behind her. Then everything becomes quiet again and only in the distance Reign can hear approaching sirens and the annoying buzzing of helicopters. The human stopped shaking and Reign lastly shoves her back forcefully by the shoulders.

“What were you _thinking_?”

She can barely get the words out, so tightly does she grind her teeth. Not with all the will in the world can the Worldkiller find a satisfying reason for why the human launched herself into a certain death. Well, _mostly_ certain. Alexandra doesn’t look at her, her head turned towards what is left of her fortress, but her cheeks are reddening. Something twists and stretches in the Worldkiller’s stomach at the sight. Reign presses her lips together, trying to convince herself that it is Sam who likes the tempting blush so much.

“I wasn’t thinking. I was hoping,” Alexandra mumbles.

Reign hears how her heartrate escalates and she tilts her head to the side. The human nervously wrings her hands together, rubs soot from her left cheek.

“I knew you would come. And you did.”

Reign flares her nostrils, she still wants to yell at the careless human, but somehow the words don’t come out. On the one hand, she bristles because she is a Worldkiller, a God, her cause on this planet is bigger than playing the savior for airheaded humans all the time. On the other hand, she wants to grab Alexandra and shake her and shove some sense down her throat because there is no logical explanation how she could _know_ that Reign would be there on time. Or at all.

Before Alexandra landed safely in her arms, Reign had been scared. For a split second, she had been utterly terrified that she wouldn’t be able to catch her. The possible consequences were something Reign didn’t even want to begin to imagine. Now, that the human stands in front of her on slightly shaky legs, her hair singed in some spots, her face smeared with black soot and just looking completely exhausted, the relief rushing through Reign is so intense that it makes her feel lightheaded. This emotional tug-of-war in her chest is becoming both annoying and tiring. One second, she wants to punish Alexandra and the next second she wants to hold her close and the constant change is _confusing_ to say the least. She rolls her eyes and exhales sharply through her nose. Her life was definitely easier before her host and the redhead became interested in each other.

“Your life is worth too much to gamble it away on hope.”

At first Alexandra looks at her like she doesn’t believe what she just said then a small, sad smile spreads on her face: “When it comes to you, hope is all I have.”

Reign furrows her brows, wondering what the human could mean with that. She makes even less sense today than usually. But Alexandra turned away from her, towards the edge of the roof, looking out onto the burning fortress with heavy eyes.

“That’s my fault.”

Reign follows her gaze, studies how the first fire trucks arrive, the first paramedics and how more and more humans gather on the street. How fascinating that humans are drawn to danger and disaster like this, like moths to a flame. Or like rats to a piece of rotting food in one of the numerous backstreets in this city. Reign steps next to the human, her jaw twitching. How can Alexandra think that any of this is _her_ fault? She is a good human, maybe the only good human and nothing, ever, could be _her_ fault. Reign raises her eyes to look at the redhead and Alexandra must have felt the gaze because she says: “Purity came to the DEO because of me. She wanted me, and she burned everything to the ground. Everything. It’s all gone.”

Alexandra sounds close to tears and Reign is close to losing her temper. Purity had not been by her side earlier because she wanted to make her threat come true and hurt Alexandra, killing the human to make Reign pay. And now, this was _Purity’s_ fault by all means. All of it. Purity and her marked preference for tearing things down with nothing but her voice. If Reign finds her, her sister will wish that the fires had swallowed her. She will do unspeakable horrors to her until Purity will beg to end her life. The Worldkiller is in the middle of raising a hand to the human’s arm or shoulder, to spin her around and check for any injuries, when she gets a hold of herself and lets the hand drop. Mentally shaking her head, she asks instead: “Did she hurt you?”

A hand splays against Alexandra’s chest, the tips of her fingers ghosting over faint purple marks around her throat. Reign crosses her arms in front of her chest, her expression becoming dark and stormy. Alexandra shakes her head: “No.”

Reign doesn’t believe her but before she can say something, the human adds: “But look what she did. She wiped out the DEO all by herself.” Suddenly, her gaze hardens, her face tightens, and she curls her hands into fists: “And I couldn’t do anything to stop her.” This time Reign tentatively rests a hand on her shoulder, hovering slightly over the human before she finally touches her:

“Do not blame yourself. No human is a match for us, no one on this planet is. But _you_ stood your ground.”

Eventually, Alexandra looks at her, her brows furrowed, her head tilted and her eyes red from unshed tears: “Reign,” she mumbles.

Something hums deep inside the Worldkiller at the way the human says her name, something that is _not_ Sam and her chest constricts.

“Reign, I need your help,” she says looking even closer to tears than before. Her bottom lip trembles, her eyes shine and Reign swallows because she really does not want to see Alexandra cry. What is one supposed to do with a crying human?

“We need your help.”

The words hang between them for a couple of moments like a veil. Then the wind changes directions, the veil falls, and Reign feels anger bubbling up inside her. How can Alexandra ask this? It is like she asks Reign to turn her back on everything she knows, on everything she is, and she merely uses other words. Alexandra’s silly idea that Reign is something else than a Worldkiller, something more, has sprawled for too long in her pretty, little head. Reign cannot betray her sisters like this or the priestess. There rests a prophecy on her shoulders that is probably older than mankind and neither Purity nor Pestilence are the ones meant to fulfill it. She stares long and hard at Alexandra. The human stares back, not backing down, waiting for an answer. Then she blinks the tears away and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, smearing her cheeks further with soot. For some unknown reason, Reign’s heart swells.

Or Sam’s heart, who knows. Sometimes it is quite difficult to distinguish which is which in this body.

Alexandra looks so thoroughly _ruffled_ that she reminds Reign of a small bird who just escaped a thunderstorm. Many, many weeks ago such a small bird had collided with Reign in mid-air during a severe storm. It was a sparrow. For two hours, she had stood on a roof, the sparrow nestled in the palm of her hand making feeble sounds while she shielded it with her cape.

Reign blinks the memory away.

She cannot be what Alexandra asks her to be. She has orders, a mission, a…

Involuntarily, she steps closer to the human. Since she kissed Alexandra, doubt has begun to settle in her heart like a splinter. She began to question the words of the priestess, the prophecy, everything. And while she remains convinced that it is the right thing to _punish_ sinning humans, that they do not _deserve_ the gift of life, she realized that there are things on earth that are worth protecting. The darkest hour of the night, right before dawn, the gentle, rhythmic sound of waves reaching land, the innocence of animals and the hope in humans’ hearts. And maybe among all the humans that do not even deserve _death_ , there are the ones that deserve to _live_ more than anything.

Sam’s offspring, the child, is a good human. Alexandra is a good human and lastly Sam is a good human. None of them should die. Reign has felt alone for most of her life, no, more than alone. She was lonely. A prisoner in the dark reflection of this world, wandering around the black forest without another soul for years. If she ever had a heart, it has withered away in this place. And although Sam has always been with her, in some way at least, it has never been like it is now. This world is real and tangible, she can touch things and they do not dissolve into smoke. In the world where she comes from, everything is an illusion. She can never go back to that solitude or her very mind will disintegrate. And she fears that if the child, Alexandra and Sam are dead she will be lonelier than ever. Even if she has the world lying at her feet.

Maybe helping the humans would not be the worst thing after all. Suddenly, the corners of her lips curl upwards in a smug smile. She could have a little fun at least before she turns into a traitor.

“I want you to beg for it,” she says in a low voice. Her dark eyes never leaving Alexandra’s.

They shine with disbelief: “What?”

Reign’s smile widens. Did Alexandra think she would simply say yes? She is _gravely_ mistaken there, and Reign will savor this moment to the very last drop.

“Get on your knees. And _beg_ ,” she says.

She takes another step closer to the human. Alexandra’s face contorts with sudden confusion, shock and anger and Reign must rein her smirk in. The human’s shoulders tense so much that they almost reach her ears, her cheeks turn the color of her hair, her brows crinkle, and she looks so, _so_ offended. Reign feels like laughing at her, something she never did before in her life. Her struggle is endearing. Even more so because she already knows how Alexandra will decide. Then the wind changes directions again, the Worldkiller’s cape waves soundly behind her almost ninety degrees to her shoulders and the human pushes stray hair out of her face. She closes her eyes and gulps.

Wordlessly, Alexandra drops to her knees, her whole body shaking, crunching debris beneath her palms. Her shoulders curve, her head hangs low and she bows.

It is the most delicious sight Reign has ever laid eyes on.

“Help us save the world,” Alexandra gulps, voice laced with too much anger to carry on. Each word is a fight, is a struggle. "Please.”

Ah, this is her Alexandra. Head-strong and stubborn even in the eyes of defeat, barely able to conceal her feelings while pushing herself to do what she believes is the right thing. Reign drinks the human’s rage in, realizing that she likes her best when she is this passionate, this emotional. All this _energy_ that has to go somewhere at some point.

Reign feels a sudden rush of desire. The sweetest shiver running through her long limbs. Seeing Alexandra bow like this in front of her is almost too much to take.

She puts a hand on her head, glides her fingers through red tresses, presses them under Alexandra's jaw. Her thumb and middle finger rest under her chin, tilt her head upwards, while the tip of her index finger runs across Alexandra’s bottom lip. It’s soft. Reign wants to touch it with something else than her hands:

“Such a good human. So well behaved,” she rumbles, letting her hand wander back into the human’s hair.

Alexandra has tears of rage in her eyes. It is thrilling.

"Get up!" Reign orders.

Alexandra furrows her brows and scowls, too rigid to give in, yet. Her eyes are burning with what she does not allow herself to say. The Worldkiller collects a handful of locks in her palm and tugs, silently repeating the order while she says: “If this is the case…”

The next second, the human slaps her hand away and begins to get up.

When Alexandra stands, Reign takes slow deliberate steps towards her. It is like someone tied one end of a string around her and the other around Alexandra and is pulling since the moment they reached the roof. Reign wants to keep touching Alexandra. With her hands, her mouth and whatever else she can use. That she is being denied this touch, makes her only want it more. Makes her want to jump onto the defenseless human and take everything she desires. If only, it would be that easy. Reign has long since realized that neither would Sam let her make unwanted advances on her mate nor can she satisfy her need with sheer force. Where would be the true fun in that? Her current situation is no fun either, though, and she sharply blows air out through her nose. The human shies away. Reign backs her up into a wall.

"What makes you think I would help you?” she says, her tone swinging between a growl and a genuine question.

Alexandra decidedly not looked at her but now her head turns, she stares straight at Reign. There's a light blush dusting her cheeks that distracts Reign momentarily. She hears how the human’s heart picks up speed yet again and she wonders why the throbbing rhythm sounds so much like music in her ears. Why does the pink hue in her face worsen Reign’s desire to run the tips of her fingers over Alexandra’s skin?

Yes. _Good_ question. Why would she ever help the human? She should concentrate.

"Because you just saved my life. Again."

Reign grimaces. She should really stop doing that.

To her surprise, Alexandra regains her confidence, stands up straighter, squares her shoulders. Does she try to look taller?

The Worldkiller cannot check her theory because suddenly Alexandra points a finger in her face, looking very convinced and pleased.

"You _want_ me, and you have _feelings_ for me. We already had that conversation, you remember?”

At her words, all color drains from Reign’s face. Does _everyone_ know what is going on inside her better than she does? Is the human’s effect on her that obvious?

“How dare you!” Reign snarls.

She knows she sounds intimidating, wants to sound intimidating and she straightens to her full height, towering over the human to display her apparent superiority. Alexandra doesn't back down, though, holds Reign’s gaze without so much as twitching an eyebrow:

“You have feelings for me because Sam has feelings for me.”

Irritated Reign takes a step back, completely taken by surprise by how much Alexandra actually knows. Not only is the human aware that she has feelings, she also figured out who her host is. This whole situation could go either way and currently the Worldkiller suspects that they will both go down the drain.  

"So, you know?!”

The human nods. Reign is speechless. Alexandra must be an outstanding liar, depending on how long she knows and for how long she led Sam on. If Alexandra only toyed with Sam to get closer to the Worldkiller, then Reign will break her neck once and for all. She is about to ask Alexandra for her motives, reasons and defenses for doing this to Sam, when the human breaks their eye-contact and intently stares at the narrow space between them. Tentatively, she takes one of Reign's hands. Her thumb runs across the back of Reign’s knuckles and the Worldkiller’s fingertips rest in the human’s palm. Reign tenses at the touch, she can feel Alexandra’s pulse thrumming under her fingers and she realizes that she has never been touched with so much care in all her life. Or maybe care at all.

She sucks in a sharp breath while Alexandra presses her lips together. Neither of them looks like this is a particularly _good_ idea, like some final line will be crossed if they remain in this position for too long. That something breaks and snaps between them that kept each of them at a safe distance from the other so far. Nonetheless, the human takes Reign's other hand, too. She blinks a couple of times, seemingly unable to believe what she is doing right now, lets out a long sigh and eventually looks up at Reign with more emotions in her hazel eyes than the Worldkiller can name:

"Please, help us save National City. We barely stood a chance against you. There is no way we can survive three of your kind.”

Reign’s scowl deepens because she cannot move a single muscle, she cannot retreat from Alexandra's grasp and the worst thing is that she doesn’t want to. She wants to hold on, wants to see if other parts of Alexandra are as rough and calloused as her hands. Or if they are the softest thing ever. The longer they stand there, the more the Worldkiller realizes that she is a hopeless case. Sam and her stupid, mushy feelings for this stupid, mushy human.

It is in this very moment, however, that Reign must admit that the feelings for Alexandra are not entirely her host’s anymore. Both the human and her sister were right when they said that Reign has feelings. And with Alexandra holding her hands as if she doesn’t see the blood on them, or doesn’t care about it, Reign finally yields. She finally accepts that however all of this started, it is herself who wants the human. She is drawn to her, fascinated and cannot wait to unravel the mystery that is Alexandra Danvers.

What has she gotten herself into? She is so deep in thought that she doesn't register at first how Alexandra takes her mask off:

"What are you...”

What if Alexandra looks for someone or something behind the mask and there is _nothing_ to find? What will she do if she realizes that Reign is _nothing_ without the mask, without her suit. Reign doesn’t want that.

"And please...”, the human chokes, her voice swimming in a mixture of fear and hope, "Please, give me Sam back.”

"Right now? Don't make me laugh." Reign scoffs. Of course, all Alexandra thinks about is Sam. Something cold and sharp curls in her stomach that makes her almost rip her hands away. Letting Sam wake up right now would most likely lead to the second disaster of the day.

"She needs to _know_. You cannot keep on doing this to her forever. There must be a way. You two could co-exist or something.” Alexandra tries again, her eyes jumping all over Reign’s face, turning the mask in her hands. The human tries not to get her hopes up but the Worldkiller can see it clearly in her eyes. The human’s demands are becoming more ridiculous each time she opens her mouth. Would it even be possible for Reign and Sam to share the same body at the same time? The Worldkiller lets out a bitter laugh:

"Telling her would break her very soul. Are you _sure_ you want to be responsible for that?”

Alexandra shakes her head, not giving up. She really is a stubborn one. “We can help her. We can make her understand. Together.”

The Worldkiller scoffs. Being naïve seems to be one of Alexandra’s less favorable characteristics. From what Reign knows about her so far, she can imagine that the human will find a way to tell Sam even without her help.

"How do you imagine she will react when she learns that a Worldkiller shares her body? It makes me proud to be the Bringer of Justice, to wipe out sinners, to be a monster, like you call me. But it will terrify her.” Reign snarls.

She is linked to her host in a way that is more intimate than any of her other relationships, even more intimate than the relationship to her offspring. And although Sam has a temper of her own, can dish out in a way that it made Reign proud a couple of times in their life, she could never physically hurt anyone. She could never watch the life drain out of another human’s eyes and be _proud_ of it. Not even if that person deserved it. She could never spill someone else’s blood and call it _justice_ and if she ever learns how much blood Reign spilled with her hands, she will blame herself for the rest of her life and it will kill her sooner or later. To her surprise, Alex lets the mask drop, cups her face and strokes her fingers gently over Reign’s cheekbones. The Worldkiller’s skin tingles and she cannot decide whose heart is beating faster anymore.  

"You're not a monster. You followed orders without questioning them and someone took advantage of that. I know that you are capable of being good," Alex whispers, looking as if she actually believes what she says. But Reign doesn’t.

All she ever did was kill and at the end of the day it didn’t matter if her intentions were good or not. She is a murderer, and she cares so little about the fact that it means she is not _good_. Not in the human way at least.

"Don't confuse me with my host!" Reign spits.

But Alex holds onto her, unrelenting and with surprising strength for a human: “I don't. I’m talking about you, Reign. You could do so much good if only someone showed you how.” She sounds so hopeful that it almost breaks Reign’s rotten heart.

"You are delusional,” the Worldkiller growls.

"And yet you keep saving my life.”

Saving a human’s life must mean so much more than she ever imagined, apparently. It led the two of them from wanting to kill each other to where they are standing right now. Wherever that is.

Suddenly, Reign registers how close they are, how there are golden specks in the human's hazel eyes, how fast her pulse beats beneath her skin. Her mouth becomes dry. Her face grows incredible hot. She sees how Alexandra's eyes flicker down then back into her own eyes. Her brow furrows and she is biting her lip, looking _unsure_ and _vulnerable_. Reign has never seen that expression on her face before and she cannot wrap her head around it.

Then she tugs Reign forward.

And she is kissing her.

Soft lips pressing against her own as if she has longed to do this for quite a while. Alexandra rocks into her in such a rush that they both sway lightly backwards. Reign is so overwhelmed by the feeling that she has no clue how to respond. How to move her lips, how to angle her head, where to place her hands.

And all the while Alexandra keeps pressing her lips on hers, warm and desperate.

She knows what if feels like when Sam kisses Alexandra. It’s like flying. It's being weightless. And she remembers kissing the human in the shadows of her destroyed fortress. But _this_ is something else. It's like her Awakening all over again. A liberation, a salvation. Like that first moment she felt her true power surge through every cell of her body, like Alexandra is breathing life itself into her all over again.

Stuttering, her brain kicks back to life. And Reign explodes into motion.

She begins to kiss the human back with all she has. Presses her forcefully into the wall, pins her arms left and right of her head. Kissing Alexandra is the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Nothing could ever compare to it and Reign never wants to stop. Their lips move effortlessly against each other, even despite the pent up want. Alexandra moans when their bodies collide, and Reign wastes no time to slip her tongue into her mouth. The human struggles against her, dances with her tongue for dominance, tries to lift her wrists from the concrete. But Reign slams her back, hard, loves how the human hisses at the impact. They briefly part to catch their breath, Reign tries to block out the taste of ash and soot that still clings to Alexandra and then they clash with even more force.

Alexandra licks her tongue over Reign’s bottom lip, tugs on it with her teeth to bring them closer and Reign revels in her fighting spirit. She presses their bodies further together, feels the human’s breasts through the fabric of her suit and she just might lose her mind.

In one quick movement, she pushes Alexandra’s hands above her head, keeps them in place with only one of her own, so the other is free to roam the human’s gorgeous body. Reign doesn’t even know where to touch her first, pushes her palm against Alexandra’s chest, trails it along her sides and then the human groans against the Worldkiller’s tongue. Reign wants to hear that sound again and again.

She kisses Alexandra harder, squeezes her breast, nibs on her bottom lip and is rewarded with the most wonderful reactions.

She knows the grip on Alexandra's wrists is becoming too strong, knows that she is bruising the human's lips with her teeth, but she cannot stop herself. She is losing control. _Nothing_ has ever felt as good as touching Alexandra but no matter what she does the want in her only seems to increase. There is a bittersweet heat between her legs that is slowly driving her insane.

She releases her hold on the redhead only to hoist her up, to press their groins together, to squeeze the flesh of Alexandra's thighs when they wrap around her midriff. She rips the offending shirt in two that denies her access to the human's creamy neck. Then she presses hot open mouth kisses onto her jumping pulse point.

"Ah, yes. Shit!" Alexandra curses above her, pressing Reign's head harder into her neck.

Twists and squirms in her iron grip to give the Worldkiller better access. It's driving Reign crazy, makes her forget all control and she bites hard into soft flesh.

“Argh!” the human exclaims and rips Reign's head back.

The Worldkiller springs away from her in a flash, to the edge of the roof they stand on. Her body instantly screaming at the lost contact, her hands twitching to get a hold on the human again.

But she can’t. She tastes blood on her lips. Sees a perfect set of teeth marks in the skin above Alexandra's right collarbone.

The imprint looks red and violet and angry. The Worldkiller swallows a couple of times.

Rao, she is breaking her human.

Alexandra crumbled against the wall she has just been pressed against, her chest heaving, her eyes wide in shock. Neither of them expected that. Without breaking eye-contact the human reaches her left hand to the mark and Reign flinches when she does.

What just happened? What did she do?

From far away, she can suddenly hear her sisters calling for her. Her voices carried by a harsh gush of wind, angry and demanding. She must return to them. They must never find out what just transpired on this roof. The Worldkiller turns around to the edge of the roof where the ruins of the DEO are burning below them. She needs to leave, or she will continue what she started with the human. And it terrifies Reign that there is no one in reach who is strong enough to pry her away when she breaks Alexandra’s body like it’s a toy. Eventually the fear of hurting her precious human is stronger than the ferocious desire and she is about to break away when Alexandra calls her: "Reign!”

She dares to look at the human, her human, the only human that will ever matter to her.

“Keep Sam safe. Bring her back to me,” Alexandra shouts determined.

Her expression says that Reign will come face to face with her own personal day of judgement if she doesn’t follow the human’s words.

The Worldkiller nods, then she takes off to where her sisters are waiting for her.

 

* * *

 

 

In the dark halls of L-Corp, Jess is the last person to sit at her desk.

Shortly after Agent Danvers and Ms. Arias left around noon, people were talking about dead birds falling from the sky and after half an hour, most of them had left work. Jess had no one to go to except her cat, Balthazar, and she didn’t want to infect him with any crazy virus or bacteria or alien genes or whatever was the cause for the dying animals. Additionally, one could never know if not maybe Ms. Luthor or Ms. Arias would turn up out of the blue. So, she stayed.

Absentmindedly, she reaches a hand into a small bag of potato chips, her eyes glued to the computer screen. She’s watching a live-stream of the local news and although she’s been watching the same footage for at least half an hour and heard the same comments over and over again, she still cannot believe what happened.

“ _All we know so far is that apparently one of the so-called Worldkillers attacked a secret FBI building in downtown National City during the early hours of the afternoon_ ,” one of the news anchors says in a serious tone.

Then the scene cuts to a shaky video, probably filmed with a phone, on which the first explosions in the building are visible. Then there’s a cut to when the whole building begins to tilt and sway, and the anchor says: “ _We have no information yet as to why the rogue alien attacked the building, but we will keep investigating for our viewers_.”

Then more professional footage plays on the screen, from high above the FBI building and Jess sees for the twentieth time how it collapses in a big cloud of dust and smoke.

“ _Although, Supergirl has been sighted on scene, we have not been able to get a comment from her_ ,” the anchor continues. Another video shows Supergirl at the foot of the ruins, how she screams and shouts and shoves parts of concrete and other debris away as if they were pebbles and not three times her size. Jess is so enraptured by the news that she barely registers the ding of the elevator. It is muscle memory alone that makes her eyes flicker away from the screen for the fraction of a second. Her hand is half-way back into the bag of chips when suddenly her brain catches up to what she saw, she does a double-take and jumps in her chair.

In the cold, bright light of the elevator stands a dark figure. She’s dressed in all black, but her clothes look well worn and have tears here and there, her face is covered in a mixture of dust and black soot, giving her the appearance of wearing camo color and her hair stands on end. It gets caught in a beam of light and momentarily flashes red and Jess emits a loud yelp: “Ms. Danvers? Is that you?”

The figure steps out of the elevator, trailing a small cloud behind her and nears Jess’ desk. The secretary stiffens in her chair.

“Hello, Jess.”

Maybe it is out of relieve or shock, but Jess forgets all manners and blurts: “What in _God’s_ name happened to you?”

Before the worn-out woman in front of her can answer, the news blare again: “ _The fire is under control now, how Captain Chicago from National City’s downtown fire department confirmed to us moments ago. The second tower of the FBI complex remained largely intact, whereas the left tower has been given up._ ”

Agent Danvers leans over the desk until she can get a look at the computer screen. Jess can spot singed parts in her hair and coughs when she inhales a whiff of cold smoke. Agent Danvers turns her head to look at the confused secretary and gives her a meaningful look. Jess jumps between staring in utter disbelief at the screen and at the redhead in front of her.

“No…,” she stammers, “You were?”

Agent Danvers nods then she retreats to the other side of the desk.

“May I use your phone?”

Jess nods, mouth agape. Agent Danvers comes around to her side and stands expectantly next to her.

“Oh, of course,” Jess splutters and gets up.

She makes room for the Agent who doesn’t hesitate to grab the receiver of the landline. “Could I maybe also get a glass of water?”

Jess eyes her warily but always the good secretary she says: “Sure.”

She steps away from the desk and hears how Agent Danvers waits to dial until she begins to walk away. Jess stops walking as soon as she knows that the shadows will hide her. As quietly as possible, she slips into a nearby conference room, takes one of the water bottles from the large table and presses her ear to the ajar door. She must concentrate but it is just enough to make out Agent Danvers’ words:

“It’s me. Yes.” Then there is a long pause.

“No, Kara. I’m alright.” An even longer sigh.

“I _promise_ you, I’m ok. Nothing’s broken, my lungs are fine. Just maybe need to cut my hair a bit.” Then her voice becomes just the tiniest bit harder.

“Yes, I swear on dad’s honor and your mother’s name,” she huffs.

“Kara, _please_ can we not talk about how I got out of the DEO tonight?”

Jess’ brows crinkle. What was the DEO? Sometimes, she thought that the two Danvers sisters carried more secrets around with them than it was healthy. Those were also the times she wished her bosses fell for normal people, as in less _dangerous_ people. She rolls her eyes and continues to eavesdrop.

“I love you, too, and I’m glad that you’re all ok…” At that point her voice breaks, and she inhales deeply.

“I just want to see her.”

Jess knows that the Agent must be talking about Ms. Arias. Judging from the way Agent Danvers looks, the secretary can only imagine her boss’ reaction. She would probably faint if her partner stood on her threshold looking like Uma Thurman in the second part of Kill Bill right after she crawled out of her early grave.

“We’ll talk tomorrow, Kara. You deserve some rest to.”

Then Jess hears how the Agent puts the receiver down. She is just about to return to her desk, when suddenly she hears papers ruffling and how the drawers under her desk open and close. Is Agent Danvers rifling through her stuff? Jess perks her ears up. She hears another long sigh and then the Agent dials a second time:

“Sam?”

 

* * *

 

When Sam regained her senses, she has been walking aimlessly down a busy street in downtown.

She felt disoriented and confused and simply kept walking for a while. Her pace slow, her head down, her eyes glazed. The black-outs were getting worse again and she really should talk with Alex about them. The second her girlfriend’s face flashes in her mind, her heart makes a strange little jump in her chest. She curls a hand into her coat and lets out a strangled, small gasp.

While she recovers, she turns her head to observe where she is. To her right, she spots a small electronics and hi-fi store that shows various TVs and flat screens in the shop window. The news are on and a small crowd of people gathered on the sidewalk. At first, Sam isn’t really watching but then she catches a glimpse at two buildings that look an _awful_ lot like the DEO twin towers. And one of them is on fire.

Her heart stutters and she is holding her breath, as she pushes through the people. On the TVs, she must watch in horror how the left tower begins to collapse, and her eyes widen in shock. For whatever reason the, footage slows down and zooms in on a particular spot on the building. Sam stifles a gasp behind a hand when she recognizes it. It’s the balcony on the same floor as the DEO’s central office, the balcony she flew through with Supergirl on her first day there. Three figures are hovering in front of it, but the brunette can barely make out anything because the quality of the material is just not good enough. When the tower begins to crumble more and more, the three figures disappear and just before the footage is cut there is a fourth, little dot appearing. It looks like some desperate soul jumped out of the building at the last second.

All of a sudden, Sam feels dizzy and her heart must have stopped beating completely. It looks like the person had short, red hair. In the next second, the memories of this noon come rushing down on her. Alex and her in the bathroom, the dead bird in the snow, the third Worldkiller and how Alex kissed her with the promise to call her as soon as possible.

And Ruby. Oh _God_ , she was supposed to pick up Ruby from school. And by now it is so late that the streetlights are on.

With shaking fingers, she dials Alex’ number but it goes straight to voicemail. She doesn’t try again, silently prays that her girlfriend is alright, that she made a slip and mistook that fourth dot on the TV for someone it is not. And somehow, deep down, there is a vague but persistent feeling that Alex is alive and well. She dials another number, nervously pushing her hand through her long hair while she waits for the other person to pick up.

“Lena? It’s me,” she mumbles, her eyes never leaving the screens in front of her. “Thank God, Ruby is with you.” She grips her phone a little tighter as she asks: “Have you heard anything from Alex? I can’t reach her, and she promised to call me.”

Lena negates, and it is as if someone set a ton of bricks on her chest. “ _Not since a couple of hours. I’m sorry_ ,” Lena says softly.

Sam shakes the rising tears away: “No, no. It’s ok. It’s probably nothing. Maybe she is with Kara. Or maybe she’ll call any second.”

They end the call with Sam promising to pick Ruby up as soon as possible.

Then the footage repeats on the screens and this time she is sure that it is a person with red hair who jumps out of the tower in the end. Her throat constricts painfully, and she can barely breathe. With teary eyes, she rests one of her hands against the cold glass of the shop window. She flinches, when suddenly her phone vibrates in one of the pockets in her coat. Without tearing her eyes away from the screens, she takes the call.

“ _Sam_?”

The tears spill over because the brunette is so relieved: “Alex? Is that really you? _”_

“ _Yeah, baby. I promised to call, didn’t I_?”

Sam lets out a watery laugh: “You did. Are you ok?”

Alex hums into her ear, and she wants to be by her side this instance: “ _I’m alright. Just some scratches and bruises_.”

Sam tilts her head and wipes her tears away: “You know there’s a difference between a bruise and a broken bone?”

Alex chuckles and hearing that sound is balm for Sam’s poor soul: “ _I am aware of that and I swear it’s nothing serious._ ”

“Ok.”

Then the CFO furrows her brows because the same footage is replayed for the fifth or sixth time by now and she cannot ignore the fact that she watches how her girlfriend jumped out of a burning building only hours ago and that a black blur catches her before she ends up as a puddle on the sidewalk.

“Can I see you tonight?” she asks hopefully.

And not only because she has an awfully suspicious feeling that makes her gut churn but also because she wants nothing more than to hold her girlfriend in her arms. Hearing her voice over the phone is not enough. Especially if what she sees on the screens, is true.

“ _Sure. Do you want to come over in an hour?_ ”

”I’d love to,” she responds, “I need to ask you something,” she adds after a beat.

Alex remains quiet for a couple of moments: “ _That sounds serious_.”

Sam takes a deep breath, rubs at her tired eyes: “It is.”

As thankful as she is, she wants to know why a _Worldkiller_ saved Alex from a most certain death.

 

* * *

 

Forty minutes later, the brunette knocks at her girlfriend’s door.

She doesn’t care that she is too early. And although the yearning and need in her is not as intense as the last time she stood here, she could not have waited one second longer. She must look at Alex with her own two eyes to make sure that she actually is as _ok_ as she said. It takes a couple of moments and Sam is about to knock again when the door opens.

Alex stands in the frame looking more worn out than ever, in a tight, black long sleeve and loose, black sweats. Her hair is damp and there’s a towel hanging around her shoulders. Sam wastes not one second before she rushes forward and throws her arms around her girlfriend. She melts into Alex’ smaller frame and sighs in relief when she feels strong hands wrap around her waist.

“Hey,” she breathes into Alex’ hair.

The Agent tightens her hold and whispers in response: “Hey, gorgeous.”

When Sam inhales, she doesn’t miss the stinging stench of smoke that mixes with Alex’ slightly tangy shampoo.

She crinkles her nose and sniffs her neck: “You smell like someone cured you over a bonfire.”

Alex retreats with a guilty, coy smile on her face: “Something like that.”

Sam searches her face while she strokes one of Alex’ cheeks. “You were really in there.” Her girlfriend sends her a puzzled look and she explains: “I saw it on the news.”

“Oh,” the Agent mouths.

The brunette feels the question about the Worldkiller _burning_ on the tip of her tongue, but she swallows it for now. If she doesn’t like Alex’ answer, she at least wants to have spent some time with her beforehand. The two women let go of each other and enter the apartment. While Alex opens a bottle of wine for them, Sam leans against the kitchen counter: “Thank you, for calling Lena.”

The Agent turns towards her with two glasses in hand and they move to the couch.

“No problem,” her girlfriend says and Sam grimaces because in her opinion it _is_ a problem. She should have been there to pick her daughter up.

Frustrated, she buries her head in her hands: “I had another black-out today. I can’t remember anything from when we left L-Corp until you called me. There’s nothing.” Alex places a soothing hand on her back and gives her a hopeful smile. But Sam shakes her head: “It’s getting worse, Alex. I don’t know what is happening to me.”

Her girlfriend furrows her brows, lets out a long sigh and gulps. She takes one of Sam’s hands in her own and looks at her with big eyes. The brunette is surprised to see fear in them. “What if I told you that I have an idea about what is happening to you?”

The next breath lodges itself painfully in Sam’s throat and her heart begins to stutter: “What? What is it?”

Her voice is shrill from the rising fear in her. Maybe it is a tumor after all, or an autoimmune disease or she simply is certified _crazy_. Alex attempts to calm her down but Sam shakes her hands off. For months she has suffered under this mysterious illness and now her girlfriend isn’t spilling the answer straight away.

“It’s complicated.”

“Complicated?” Sam scoffs and suddenly she feels annoyed by Alex’ vague answer. “Complicated as in a Worldkiller caught you when you jumped out of a burning building _complicated_?!”

Shock is written all over the redhead’s face as she rips her hands away and leans back: “How do you know that?”

Sam scowls because Alex is not even denying it. “As I said, I saw it on the news. And that cape was neither red nor blue. That doesn’t leave that many possibilities,” she grumbles.

Alex pushes a hand through her damp hair, presses a hand to her mouth before she talks again: “You’re right. It’s that complicated.”

Out of impulse, Sam reaches forward, wraps her arms around Alex’ shoulders again and leans back until they are lying down on the couch. Her heart is beating like crazy and there’s a nagging feeling in her stomach that whatever is happening in the next couple of minutes is going to be bad. Like, really bad.

She wants to hold onto Alex as long as she can. “Alex, what is happening to me? Am I dying? Is it that bad?” Her voice cracks.

Alex shifts on top of her until she supports her weight on her elbows and looks down at Sam with a mixture of fear, nervousness and guilt. Sam’s stomach cramps.

“You’re not dying but…” she trails of.

Sam reaches up and tugs some stray locks behind her ears: “Tell me. And don’t lie. We talk remember?”

Alex squeezes her eyes shut, clearly struggling with whatever she wants to say or doesn’t want to say: “It’s not that easy this time.”

She cups Alex’ cheeks gently, tries to urge her to finally tell the truth: “Whatever it is. Just _tell_ me. Please.”

She feels tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know _how_ , Sam. I tried for so long, but I never found the right words. I don’t know how to do this,” Alex chokes and her tears spill over. Sam feels how they land on her face. Like warm rain.

She says: “There is nothing you cannot do, Alex Danvers,” while she thinks, how long are we talking about?

But then Alex’ beautiful face crumbles above her and she is openly sobbing now.

“I need help. Please, I need help, Reign.”

Sam’s face contorts with confusion, and she gets out: “Wha-,” before her consciousness is turned off like a light.

 

* * *

 

When Reign opens her eyes, she sees Alexandra sitting on top of her, crying like a child.

She sits up to wipe the human’s tears away: “Get yourself together. You are the one who wanted to tell her,” the Worldkiller says way more gently than she intended to.

“I know,” Alexandra sobs, “I just thought I had more time.”

Reign has no clue what to do, she never had to comfort a blubbering human before and never thought she would ever want to. Tentatively, she rests her hands on Alexandra’s hips, straining every muscle to keep her strength at bay. “Now, you don’t. So, you better think of something.”

The human snakes her arms around Reign’s shoulders and cries into her neck. The Worldkiller lets her for a couple of minutes in hope that the tears eventually will subside on their own.

“I don’t want her to hate me. I can’t lose her,” Alexandra mumbles.

Reign lets out a huff: “She will hate you. And you will lose her.”

She pushes against the human, so that Alexandra leans backwards, and they can look each other in the eyes.

“That’s not helping,” the human sniffles.

“That _will_ happen. You know that as much as I do. But only for some time,” Reign says calmly.

Alexandra bites her bottom lip: “I’m still scared.”

The Worldkiller turns her ears inwards, listens for Sam in herself and is hit with a whole wave of emotions. She frowns: “She is scared, too. And confused.”

After what feels like hours to the fidgety Worldkiller, Alexandra finally calmed down. She swallows the new onslaught of tears and says with determination: “Get me the suit.”

Without another word, Reign stands up and the human follows her: “Do you want me to put it on?”

The Worldkiller looks at Alexandra with a raised eyebrow but she doesn’t react at all. Instead of answering, the human stares at her in silent wonder. Reign turns left and right to see what leaves Alexandra so speechless but cannot spot anything that would justify the reaction: “What are you looking at?”

The redhead snaps out of it and averts her gaze: “You,” she mumbles.

Reign furrows her brows: “Why is your heart beating like that because you look at _me_?”

Alexandra clamps both of her hands over her chest, blushes sweeter than any flower and stutters: “Stop listening to that. It’s just that you look so much like Sam and it’s the first time I see you like this. As her. I mean in her clothes,” she rambles on and then the fleeting moment is gone.

Reign briefly wonders if she was about to mention the roof, too, but she quickly realizes that this night is not about her and Alexandra but about Sam. Maybe it would be best to leave that little incident undiscussed anyways.

Alexandra looks at her expectantly: “The suit?”

Reign tilts her head and squints her eyes: “You do _not_ look like you want to go through with this.”

The human shakes her head and crosses her arms in front of her chest: “No, but you were right. I _must_ tell her.”

“I’ll be right back,” Reign groans.

After what must have been no more than a couple of seconds to the human, Reign is back in the apartment, holding the dark suit in one hand and the mask in the other. Her skin tingles, tells her to put it on and she looks down at herself with a grimace. Sam is clad in the typical uncomfortable clothes she always wears to work. No wonder the human stared at her like that. She probably looks nothing like herself but a lot like her host. Internally groaning, she wonders again why she even does this and she cannot come up with a better answer that both Sam and Alexandra grew on her.

As if on cue, the human reenters the main space of the apartment with a stack of papers in hand and a forlorn look on her face.

“Why do you do this? When you know how it will break you both." Reign asks with calm eyes, putting the suit on the back of the couch. "Why not just live the lie?"

Alex looks back at her, her heart so heavy that her lungs are barely able to draw in the next breath: "Because she deserves the truth more than I deserve her."

Reign wonders in that moment if this is what _love_ is supposed to be like, what it is supposed to look like. Not Alexandra, not the person, because as little as she understands about feelings, she understands that _love_ is the most important of them all, the one that is far too _grand_ to be placed into a single human.

It is the act of giving away something or someone you think you cannot live without.

She sees in Alexandra's eyes that the human knows this, too, and curls her fingers around shaking wrists. Places shaking fingers against her own cheeks: "Take one last look at her face.” There are tears welling up in Alexandra's eyes again, her bottom lip trembles. "Because this may be the last time she will let you see it.”

Wordlessly, the human nods, strokes her thumbs over Reign's cheekbones, tries to memorize every curve, every dip, every line. So, that when she raises her hands to hold nothing but air, it will still feel like she holds Sam's face.

"When she knows and she hates me," Alexandra says, her words so watery that they are the tears she refuses to let fall, “Make her strong. Be the one that reminds her to eat and to sleep. Be the one to tell her that she must be there for her daughter. That she doesn't need me to light the life inside her.”

Reign has the terrible feeling that for once this will be a thing she cannot stand up to. She nods, nonetheless, because Alexandra needs to know that she will _try_. Then Alexandra gulps, swallows her pain, braces her heart. She places the mask in the Worldkiller’s hands.

"Do it."

And Reign closes her eyes.

 

* * *

 

Sam stares blankly ahead before she blinks a couple of times and comes out of her stupor.

She stands in front of the couch across from Alex who looks like she cried her heart out for the last hour. And Sam cannot remember it.

She tilts her head to the side: “Alex, what just happened?”

Her girlfriend lets out a long shaky breath: “Did you just experience a black-out? Can you remember anything from the last ten minutes?”

Sam shakes her head in confusion. Her head feels heavy as if someone blew thick fog through her ears and now her brain is wrapped in cotton: “No. We were sitting on the couch,” with crinkled brows she looks at the spot she has just been sitting, “And now I’m standing here.”

“Ok, ok, ok,” Alex mumbles more to herself than the brunette.

Nervously, she paces up and down in front of the couch, runs a hand through her hair and looks at anything except Sam. Eventually, though, she spins around, stiff as a board and says: “Your black-outs are not caused by a disease.”

“What do you mean? I’m not sick?” Sam asks, her voice wavering because she is close to having enough and just wants to know what is going on for once. Alex shakes her head. “What is it then?”

Alex stares hard at her hands and says: “It’s all connected. Look down.”

Sam does as she is told and only now does she realize that she has been holding something in her hands during their whole conversation. At first, she only _looks_ but doesn’t _see_ then she understands that she is holding a mask. What is that supposed to mean, she wonders and turns the mask in her hands. It looks vaguely familiar and she holds it in front of her face with two hands.

The next second, the mask clatters to the ground and she recoils in shock: “Is this some kind of perverted joke? Do you think this is _funny_?” she exclaims with a furious expression. The Worldkiller’s mask lies upside down on the floor between them.

Alex flinches slightly at her outburst but quickly puts on a brave face: “It’s no joke, Sam. This is serious.”

Speechless, Sam stares at her girlfriend wondering about the implications here.

Does my girlfriend really think I’m a mass murdering, psychopathic alien, she thinks in total shock.

“I thought you were a bioengineer and not a psychologist. How do you even want to know?” Sam negotiates hotly.

This cannot be true. Alex cannot be right. This must be a mistake.

It all rushes through her head and she can barely think straight.

“Sam…” the redhead starts but Sam throws her hands up:

“No!” she shouts, “I’m not special! Why does everybody think that? I’m just a single mom, trying to be there for her daughter and make it through the day!”

Alex holds her hands up in appeasement, but the brunette is on a roll now. This must be a bad dream, the worst _nightmare_ she ever had.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Alex tries to say but Sam doesn’t let her:

“A lot to take in? Are you _serious_? You tell me I’m a murdering, psychopathic, killer-alien and that is _a lot to take in_?” she screeches, her voice getting louder and louder the longer they argue.

Alex looks a little lost in front of her and Sam realizes that it is the first time her girlfriend sees her so angry.

Nonetheless, the redhead doesn’t back down: “It’s not exactly like that. You’re not her.”

“Then what!” Sam explodes, “I don’t believe you anyways. You have no proof, you can’t be sure, you-“

Alex kneels down to pick up the mask then she looks at Sam with an unreadable expression: “Actually, I have proof.”

Sam stiffens.

“She brought me the mask,” Alex dangles it from a finger, “And the suit.” She looks past the brunette towards the couch.

Sam turns around and flinches. Spread out on the back of the couch lies the awful black suit with the even more dreadful skull across the chest. Involuntarily, Sam steps closer, runs the tips of her fingers over the sigil and a cold shiver runs down her back: “This doesn’t proof anything,” she mumbles angrily.

Suddenly, she hears paper rustling behind her and turns back around. Alex holds out old newspapers to her. Reign’s contorted, furious face stares at her from every front page. The redhead holds out each newspaper to her before throwing them onto the couch: “Each of your black-outs coincided with an attack from Reign. I know from Ruby that you went on some special trip and couldn’t remember any of it when you got back right before she appeared the first time. It all fits,” Alex explains.

Sam rips one of the papers out of her hands, the front page shows several dead drug dealers down by the docks and her heart breaks.

“All those people,” she whispers, “They are all dead. She killed them all,” she gulps, there is a lump forming in her throat and she feels sick. “But that still doesn’t mean that I…” her voice breaks towards the end, and she stifles a sob behind a hand.

“But this does,” Alex says softly and gives her one last sheet of paper.

It’s an official looking printout, she can make out the DEO logo in one corner, there are several pictures and little text. One is of her, the passport picture that the DEO used for her visitor ID, too, and one is of Reign. Below are several fingerprints, two sets à three prints and they look completely identical. The paper begins to shake in her hands. Her knees buckle and tears are streaming down her face, hot and unhindered: “No,” she sobs, “No, this can’t be true.”

She remembers all the horrible, unspeakable things Reign did, that _she_ did, and she feels a cold numbness spread through her body. All the _people_ she killed. She almost killed _Supergirl_ and there is so much blood on her hands. Her eyes roam over the page again because she is in complete shock, must make sure over and over again that this is really happening. Then her eyes land on another corner of the page and all of a sudden, her pain and numbness is replaced with something dangerously close to fury.

She crumples the paper in her hands and stares at Alex with tightly drawn brows: “How long do you know?”

She saw the date of the printout. And she doesn’t like how long it dates back.

Suddenly, Alex looks a whole other kind of uncomfortable and rubs a hand up and down her arm, looking like an animal ready to flee. Sam can see how she struggles for the right words, but nothing comes out and eventually she whispers dangerously low: “Alex, how _long_?”

Her girlfriend swallows, licks her lips and she knows that she will not like the answer. “Around two or three weeks,” Alex finally admits.

The answer hits Sam like a ton of bricks, she feels dizzy and wishes she could simply wake up from this horror-trip.

“That’s how long…”

Alex nods silently at her, looking torn between wanting to give her space and hugging her. But Sam suddenly remembers everything that happened in the past weeks, all these beautiful moments they shared, the happiness and she cannot help herself but to question if _anything_ of it had been real. She feels how the horror and dread about Reign slightly subside and she is gripped by piercing, scorching anger.

How could Alex keep this so long from her?

“Was anything of it real?” Sam asks and her voice trembles with rage.

Alex looks like she has just been punched and stares at her with wide, shocked eyes: “ _Everything_ of it was real, everything of _us_ is real.” She shakes her head, comes a step closer, halts, blinks tears away: “I fell for you way before she appeared, way before any of this started and way before I should have.”

And Sam wants to believe her, _so_ much, but somehow this makes everything even worse. Something snaps in her.

"How _could_ you?” Sam spits the words like poison.

Like every letter is a weapon she is wielding to leave wounds so big in Alex' heart that they can hold all the pain and betrayal she feels. It’s rushing over her like a tidal wave and she lets herself be carried away by its force. Alex looks completely caught off-guard, completely defenseless and Sam is onto her in a second, furious and wild. Her language becomes a fist, violent and hard: “How could you sit with me, in my house, with my daughter, knowing that I am a monster?”

She lunges again and again, lands blow after blow against Alex who doesn't even try to protect herself: “How could you kiss me, knowing I am her?" she screams so loud the words burn her throat, scorch the air until her skin is brittle from the inside.

Her voice becomes a spear, pitched and sharp plunging itself right into the chest of the woman she loves: "How could you make love to _me_ without touching _her_?”

And right in front of her, the wounds open up in Alex' face, no blood drips from them but tears.

“That's not how it is," Alex chokes, raises her hands to touch her, “I spent every moment with you. I never saw her when I looked at you.”

Sam cannot hear her, cannot make herself believe that what she says is true because the collar of Alex' shirt slipped, and she sees an angry bite mark flashing red just above the collarbone. With her hand, she rips the shirt further down, exposing this oh so physical proof of Alex' betrayal.

She wants to vomit.

Instead of sour bile filling her mouth, it is the stench of blood that washes over her tongue. For a heartbeat she can see how Reign sunk her teeth into the soft flesh, feels her hunger for Alex and she recoils.

She is so angry that she is barely able to speak: "Do you sleep with her?”

"What? No!” Alex eyes are wide in shock, her whole body leaning away from Sam as if she cannot believe what she just heard. But her cheeks burn with so much shame that they are as red as her hair. So much shame that she cannot even look Sam in the eyes anymore.

“Did you have fun with her? Did you two laugh your fucking asses off because little old me is the only one who had no clue?” she screams at the top of her lungs and for one _ugly_ second she revels in the hurt that she sees flashing across Alex’ face. And she cannot stop, somewhere deep down she knows she _should_ , but her fury is out of control: “Did you like it when she fucked you, hm? Did you think of me when you two fucked?”

With each word, she hurls at Alex, the redhead looks more broken, more devastated and Sam wants her to. She wants Alex to feel this unspeakable pain inside her.

“That never happened. You know that never happened,” Alex says with tears in her eyes, but her tone is resolute.

Sam rides her anger and pain like a wave, like she is the Goddess of Victory at the front of a triumphal procession. Only that they are still standing in the middle of a blood and tear-soaked battleground.

Sam goes in for the killing stroke. “Then why did you let her mark you like a dog?”

She thinks she just heard Alex' heart break, sees it shatter into a million little pieces that spill out onto the burned ground between their feet. She lies her own right next to it, feels like she will never have any use for it again. After years and years of living only for Ruby, Alex has shown her what it is like to live for herself again.

And by God, she loves her daughter, she loves her so much, but Alex has remembered her that she is _more_ than a mother. In her eyes and in her smile, Sam found every hope she has ever had. She has been completely enchanted by the way Alex seemed just a little more human than everybody else.

And now all those moments, all those fleeting beautiful seconds she tugged away in corners and shelves of her soul taste like _ash_ in her mouth.

"Sam," Alex whispers, her name sounding like a prayer falling from her mouth and Sam cannot take it because it sounds too much like the times Alex whispered it so close to her that she could taste her own name on her lips, like the time they lay in bed, the sheets still warm from their lovemaking and there was no space left between them, their bodies melting into one. She tastes salt on her cheeks now and just _so_ much pain in her heart, _so_ much hurt. She thinks she will never feel something else again.

"If you just let me explain..." Alex starts, more tears than words.

But Sam thinks there is no way Alex can explain _any_ of this, that there is no explaining to be done here.

That nothing can make her understand how Alex has been able to look at her with so much love, has been able to draw music out of Sam with her kisses and her touch she has long forgotten to be in her and pretend to not see the blood on her hands.

So, she screams so loud they both flinch: "What is there to explain?”

“I just wanted to help you,” Alex says, eventually pulling up walls to shield herself from Sam’s rage, her face hardening, her jaw becoming sharper, her words less water more fire. "I wanted to protect you!”

And Sam _explodes_. The emotions pouring out of her like a swollen river, ready to drown everything in its path: "I never asked for your protection! I never needed your protection!”

More than anything she wanted to love Alex. Now all she wants is to protect Alex from herself.

"Fine!” Alex bellows, her shoulders tensing, her flow of tears springing from frustration now instead of sorrow.

“All I wanted you to see is that you are _not_ a monster, you are _not_ a killer, you are _not_ the same and Rei-”

The slap is as loud as a gunshot.

Drowning out the cacophony of their raised voices.

"Do not. Say. Her name.” Sam whispers in the sudden, deadly silence.

Then she turns on her heel and runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm evil :D
> 
> Like every time, I hope that you liked the chapter.  
> Let me know what you think in the comment section in words, smileys or some Kudos!
> 
> PS: Best thing about 3x19? How much Alex loves Ruby T^T  
> Can someone make the three a family asap, please?


	13. Alex/Sam/Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Alex are miserable without each other.  
> Will Sam talk to Reign?  
> Will someone take the whisky away from Alex before she drinks herself into a coma?
> 
> Read in chapter 13 how Sam and Alex struggle in the aftermath of the argument and must realize that you cannot run away from the storm that rages in your heart!

* * *

Monday Night

 

Her eyes are dry during the ride home. The tears will come much later.

For now, she has cried enough, has left all her emotions at the place she is fleeing from now. She has left an imprint of herself in the still air of that place, forgot her heart there, too, or what is left of it. Only her body is sitting in the car, an empty shell working on autopilot to take her the familiar way home. Sam herself is _empty_ and _numb_. The shock has overtaken her again, and she is unable to register anything besides it. The sheer _horror_ of finding out about Reign and the indescribable _hurt_ of finding out about Alex short-circuited her system.

When she takes the highway exit and the city center is already far behind her, some tiny notion struggles to make itself heard. The notion fledges into a full thought only because she is a mother for so long. Ruby. Her hands curl subtly tighter around the steering wheel. The leather makes a wet, grating sound. She cannot be around Ruby like this. Not when she is…

She takes a shuddering breath, is unable to finish that thought because it is just too horrible. She activates the hands-free device and calls Lena.

“ _Hey darling, about time you called_ ,” Lena’s cheer voice fills the car and the happiness is suffocating, is threatening to shake her protective cocoon of _nothing_. And she cannot speak, her throat still sore from all the screaming and crying and her brain overloaded with everything she cannot comprehend. “ _Sam, are you there? Are you_ -“

“Ruby must stay with you.” Her voice is just as empty as she is, a cold and flat stumble. She sounds like a stranger.

“ _What happened? Are you alright?_ ” Lena’s concern washes over her, and she can almost feel it sinking into her skin.

She curls in on herself as much as she can in the car, shies away from her friend’s love because she doesn’t deserve it anymore. She hears her own voice, so emotionless, so utterly strange: “Can she…She must,” then her voice fails, simply fades away into a strangled, dry sob.

“ _Did you have a fight with Alex?_ ” Lena asks cautiously as if she can sense how fragile the ground is Sam stands on, how thin the composure that keeps her together. As if too much pressure would shatter her. Hearing Alex’ name feels like a physical wound, deep, searing and she grapples frantically with the numbness to return. She is not ready yet to face what has transpired in the apartment. Not ready yet to face what it means, what comes _after_.

“Yes,” she croaks, the word coming out as the splintering, cracking sound a dry branch makes when its snapped.

“ _Oh, Sam_ ,” Lena whispers and her worry is too much, too precious and so, _so_ wasted on someone as abominable as her. “ _Talk to me, sweetie_ ,” she continues, and Sam must squeeze her eyes shut as if that could keep all of Lena’s love from pouring into the small space around her.

“Ruby must stay with you,” she repeats and this time there is a certain edge in her tone, one she hasn’t expected. But she cannot think about anything else than making sure that Lena does what she asks her of. Ruby must stay away from her. Ruby must never know.

“ _You cannot simply expect me to agree when I don’t know what is going on. You have to-_ “

Sam cuts her off for the second time. She cannot have this conversation. Not now. Not here. Not when even she hasn’t understood what is going on: “Don’t ask,” then her whole body is wrecked by a violent sob, “Please, Lena. Not this time. Just this once, don’t ask,” she pleads.

When she looks back on this painful night much, much later, Sam will wonder how she ever made it home without an accident. Lena remains quiet and the air in the car crackles with the sounds of the phone connection. When the driveway comes into view, Sam hears a long sigh: “ _You have three days_.”

“Thank you,” she whispers before she turns the car off while forcing the frightening thought out of her head that she might never see her daughter again.

She keeps the lights off, as she enters the empty house. The shadows are the only company she can bear tonight. Something she cannot break, cannot _kill_. Like in trance, she walks through the hall, straining her eyes to not look at all the spots that have inevitably become tied to Alex. The small void on the sideboard next to the coat hanger that always remains there for Alex’ helmet. During the week they lived together in this house, it has become an unspoken rule that this space belongs to the redhead from then on. The patch of wall right next to the first step of the stairs that will forever mark her first time with Alex. The beginning of this _achingly_ beautiful night she will remember for the rest of her life. Even if it hurts.

She makes it as far as the space between the kitchen counter and the couch before her knees buckle and her legs fold. She crumbles in on herself, molds in sharp jerks around the emptiness that has filled her the second she left the apartment. That is the moment the tears come back, hot and unstoppable. Her sobs are the only thing to hold on to, ragged and ugly and she doesn’t even sound like she is crying anymore. More like _dying_. A mourner, mourning their own death. Mourning the loss of what might have been everything she ever dreamed of. And now it’s all gone. Because she is a monster. Because she is a _murderer_.

Out of nowhere, the numbness tilts and sways and then she is seized by merciless, brutal guilt. It rushes down on her so suddenly that she chokes on the next breath that tried to squeeze in between the wailing sobs. It’s bone crushing and weighs down so much on Sam’s already hunched and broken frame that her forehead comes to rest on her own knees and her crossed arms press so hard into her stomach that she cannot expand her lungs anymore. Maybe if she just curls in tight enough on herself, she will disappear. She will vanish without a trace and release the world of the many horrors she has brought over it. At least that way, she couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. No more killing, no more deaths. No more beating Superheroes half to death.

Sam doesn’t know how much time she spends like this. Eventually, she doesn’t feel the piercing pain in her thighs anymore, doesn’t register that she is light-headed because between all the tears she forgets to breathe.

It’s two in the morning when Sam’s body can’t take it anymore. She slumps sideways on the hardwood floor, too weak even to curl into a ball. Her gaze is empty, her heart is empty and in her head the thought _I am Reign_ repeats endlessly. Like a broken record she cannot turn off. When the hazy morning light creeps slowly in through the terrace door, she is so exhausted, so tired that she cannot move a single muscle, that she only takes in every second or third breath. But every time her eyelids flutter close, she immediately jolts awake the next second. All panic and fear and jittery eyes that make sure there is no blood on her hands. She cannot sleep, she cannot allow herself to slip into that sweet limbo where no emotion can reach her. She cannot sleep because she is terrified of what she will do then.

Of what _she_ will do then.

* * *

 

 

Tuesday

Alex doesn’t move when her phone begins to vibrate on the kitchen counter.

She is still sitting on the couch, on the exact same spot she has fallen into after Sam left. After she had recovered enough from the shock of Sam flying out of her apartment and the slap, she moved to the shelf next to the fridge that carried all her liquor, blindly reached for a bottle and returned to the couch. Without batting an eye, she emptied the two wine glasses. The rest of the bottle quickly followed.

She hasn’t stopped staring at the closed door the whole night, hoping and whishing that it would open again, and that Sam would walk back in. But that didn’t happen. So, she drank. Blind and greedy to drown the guilt and sorrow. She fucked up. Big time. Maybe bigger than ever before. She keeps going in circles in her head, the same circle actually. The same, damn vicious circle. With each round it sucks her deeper in.

In hindsight, she sees that she should have told Sam from the very beginning. She should have told her everything. About Purity. About Reign. About her feelings. Everything. But then she would have had to explain why she knew about Reign in the first place. Which would have led to Alex explaining that first _kiss_ she shared with the Worldkiller and that would have most likely ended up in the same situation as now. Or in a similar one. As much as she wrecked her brain, she cannot find a let out. Every alternative she plays through still concludes in Sam hating her. And although Alex is the person that jumps buildings to catch the bad guy without stopping, without thinking, made only of _bravery_ and _determination_ , she is also a coward in front of her own feelings, _shaken_ and _overwhelmed_. Feelings are more terrifying than any criminal, than any alien at times and she is just so, _so_ bad at handling them.

Around four thirty in the morning, Alex thought vaguely that maybe it would have been for the best if Reign had left her in the cave. It’s a drunken thought, very drunken but oh so tempting. At least that way they would have never kissed. That way Alex would have never experienced what it is like to love and be loved by Sam. That way she would have never gotten so close to Ruby that she got a taste of motherhood. And in the span of ten disastrous minutes she lost all three of them. Because she selfishly clung to the illusion of this perfect life they could have had, of the perfect little _family_ they could have been. During the week she spent in the Arias house, Alex often daydreamed. Stretched out on the couch and surrounded by Sam’s and Ruby’s warm scents, her mind had drifted to the future.

Without knowing, Sam and Ruby made Alex realize a couple of things about herself. She _always_ knew that she wants to be a mom one day. That knowledge is so deeply carved into her just as her knowledge that she will _always_ be an Agent. Always protecting people, always going the extra mile, always trying to save everyone. Those two parts are so integral to her being like her heart or her lungs to her body and yet the distance between them is as vast as an _ocean_. When Ruby entered her life, though, Alex decided that she didn’t want to wait any longer. She had a stable job, a beautiful fiancé and she wasn’t getting any younger either. A child would have been the cherry on top. But Maggie was the wrong person after all to carry the burden of her dream and it would have been unfair to either of them to stay together.

And then Ruby was just _there_. Bright and sweet Ruby who Alex immediately took a shine to and who she wanted to _protect_ and _impress_ and see her _happy_. On top of it all, Alex fell heedlessly and helplessly in love with Sam and on good days she thought that maybe she could share her dream of a family with Sam and Ruby without turning it into a burden. And then Reign ruined it all. Or better Reign is the reason why _Alex_ ruined it all.

Suddenly, her phone buzzes again but the redhead ignores it. Instead, she takes a swig from the whisky bottle. She has remained in the perfect state of drunkenness all night, just close enough to nausea that it was still pleasant.

Reign is the storm Alex hasn’t seen coming, not for a mile and she still cannot figure out why she has been so thoroughly swept off her feet by the Worldkiller. That she has Sam’s face doesn’t seem enough of a reason. Because albeit her recent change of behavior, she has done _horrible_ , unspeakable things in the past. By God, she dropped Kara off the edge of a building with the intent to let her die. Still, Alex cannot help herself. She has proven that on the roof.

Absentmindedly, she traces the bite mark above her collarbone and grimaces. Face growing hard, fingers curled in the fabric of her shirt. She winces not from the physical pain but from the pain the memories bring. How sickening _good_ it felt to kiss Reign and how absolutely _appalled_ Sam had looked when she saw the mark. Then the hurt settles in violent and overwhelming, reduces Alex to gasps and twitches. That Sam accused her of sleeping with Reign, of using her to get close to Reign hurts almost as much as the slap. For hours, Alex felt the sting on her left cheek and she wouldn’t be surprised if there is a light swell. She rests her head in her hands in a motion of defeat.

The irony about Sam and Reign is that Alex kind of fell for them both.

There are a million reasons for _loving_ Sam and the reasons for _liking_ Reign are not yet even graspable for Alex. But on her really good days she imagined a future in which they all make it work somehow. It’s a future in which these two integral parts of herself eventually come together. The Agent and the mother. After many, many years. She wouldn’t have to give up one in favor of the other. But dreaming about that future had made Alex blind to how her present was falling apart. She begged Sam to listen to her, to let her explain but the longer Alex mulls everything over the more she thinks that maybe Sam was right and there is nothing to explain.

There is only admittance.

If Sam ever speaks to her again, Alex can only admit that her actions were wrong and hope that Sam will let her back in and forgives her. That they still can make it work. Together. And yes, she is _hurt_ and a little bit _angry_ that Sam thinks she could ever betray her with Reign or use her like that. She also knows, though, that people say things they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. And that moment was _scorching_.

By now, her phone is going into a frenzy on the kitchen counter, the chime of incoming texts taking turns with the longer ringing of incoming calls.

Alex ignores them. None is from Sam.

She knows without checking because Sam has a special ringtone.

One evening in that blissful week, Ruby put on some obscure female songwriter duo from Germany and the three of them have been carried away by the soft emotional music. The next morning, Alex set her favorite song as Sam’s ringtone. Today, that evening feels like a lifetime ago and the memory is so heavy, so bittersweet that Alex’ shoulders begin to shake.

She is swallowing another mouth full of whisky when there is a knock on the door. For a split second, her head jerks up, her heart beats wild and she hopes that Sam returns to her at seven thirty in the morning. Then Kara’s voice sounds through the door.

“Alex? I know you’re in there.”

Alex stoically remains right were she is. She doesn’t want to see anyone that isn’t Sam. Kara knocks again.

“Come on, Alex. Let me in.”

She burns holes in the door, stubbornly takes another swig. She loves her sister with all her heart but for the first time in a long time she wants to be alone in her pain. Really alone. After Maggie, they had spent evenings together during which neither of them spoke a word but they drew strength from each other’s presence in silence. This time, Alex thinks she cannot even tolerate _that_ because Kara will chastise her for the drinking, for the silent treatment and if they talk about the Sam and Reign dilemma, Kara will roast her for getting into such deep shit. Rightfully so, but it’s too early for that. She is so raw, so shaken and the whirlwind of emotions simmering so close beneath her skin that she will completely fall apart.

Kara’s knocks become more insistent. Alex’ reluctance to open the door stronger.

Eventually, she hears the jingle of keys outside and succumbs to her lot, putting the bottle against her lips again. Maybe if she drinks fast enough, she will pass out before Kara sees her. But then her sister stands in front of her, all wide eyes, confusion and a pinch of hurt. Instead of greeting Kara, Alex places the bottle on the coffee table.

“Alex?” Kara asks tentatively, hovering unsure between the doorstep and the couch as if Alex is a wild animal that is about to lash out in her pain at the one person who tries to help her. Kara will never tell her sister how broken she looked in that moment, how scared she was because she looks just a little bit worse than after the break-up. A little more hurt. A little more lonely.

On this Tuesday evening, Kara will sit on Lena’s couch, tears streaming down her face, pressing out between hiccups that maybe this time they cannot put the pieces back together.

Now, Alex refuses to look at her, hands moving in shaking unsteady movements over her face. She is probably more drunk than she thought. Kara notices, too.

“Are you drunk?” Her voice rises high in disbelief, eyebrows rising even higher.

The verbal bouquet of accusation and concern is making Alex sicker than the alcohol sloshing in her stomach. She shrugs half-heartedly, her remaining sober thoughts circling around how Sam is doing. Where she is, what she thinks, what she feels. Everything else is unimportant.

“Alex!” Kara exclaims, snatches the whisky away and stares at her with so much indignation that Alex almost feels _sorry_ because it has no effect on her today. She cannot even bring herself to look away from the spot where Reign stood two weeks ago while she tried to hide the mess she made with the coat hanger. Downcast eyes, tinted cheeks and her posture stiff from embarrassment. Alex remembers now that she thought the Worldkiller looked cute, for one weak second, she thought Reign was _cute_ in a way only Sam should be. She furrows her brows, scowl set firmly on her face.

These two are going to be the death of her.

She vaguely registers that Kara moves in her peripheral vision, finally deciding to come closer, slowly and cautiously.

“When the DEO fell, you were nowhere in sight and after your call you just-,” she takes a shuddering breath, “Disappeared.” Alex hears how she lets her hands fall against her thighs, how she licks her lips, inhales. “And then I don’t hear anything from you the whole night. You don’t show up for work. You don’t answer my texts, or my calls and I can’t reach Sam either.” Alex flinches in her seat because Kara talks about Sam in blissful ignorance of the sorrow and dread she is drowning in. That they are both drowning in. It hurts so much that Alex curls a hand above her heart to make sure that it is still in one piece.

“What happened?” her sister asks challengingly, hands in hips, more Supergirl than Kara Danvers.

For a couple of moments, Alex stays quiet but then she finally opens her mouth and the motion alone is so exhausting that she thinks the words are fighting tooth and nail to remain unspoken.

“Reign,” she rasps, and her voice is sandpaper, makes even the usually smooth nasal at the end of the Worldkiller’s name sound _rough_ and _coarse_. The fog in her head whispers seductively that she should spill everything, let it all out because bottling things up to do the right thing didn’t work out. At all. Knees drawn to her chest, hands curled tightly around her shins and the line of her back crooked and sharp, she continues: “Reign and…Reign she…She and.”

She knows for quite a while by now, but this is the first time she must say it out loud. She finds herself unable to. Her whole body tightens and trembles, she’s a gasp, a sob. This is just not right. With the next exhale, she gags, and the words spill out of her mouth, glide over her knees and slide over her hands: “Reign and Sam share the same body.”

Her hands move to her arms, fingernails digging deep into her skin, squeezing and pinching the flesh until it bruises. She hides her face in the crook of her elbow and whishes for someone to take this pain away from her. She hears and feels how Kara sinks down next to her, shocked and quiet, into the line between the two cushions where Sam pressed her into two Sundays ago. A fresh wave of tears washes over her, and Alex will wonder some time later how she has been able to cry that much in that awful night.

“Alex, I’m so sorry,” Kara mumbles, voice warm and reassuring and Alex bitterly thinks that _feeling sorry_ doesn’t change anything.

She knows her sister is genuine and honest in her empathy, but the phrase cannot sooth Alex today. It’s just an empty platitude.

“Does she know?” her sister asks.

Alex nods, realizing suddenly that Kara must think her sorrow stems from the fact that her girlfriend is taken hostage by a Worldkiller. Briefly, she wonders how and when exactly she came to accept that so easily and when she came to think that it would be the better idea to bring Sam and Reign closer instead of splitting them. How is she supposed to make Kara understand _any_ of this?

“We argued because she didn’t want to believe me…” she trails off because her voice cracks. “And I just pressed on. She had to know.” She pushes her hands against her head, her fingers burying in the hair of her crown. “She had to know,” she repeats to remind herself that it was the right decision.

 Kara sits up straighter, stiff and reluctant, starting and stopping to say something and Alex doesn’t want to answer the question she knows will come. “How do _you_ know?”

Right then, it is the moment she dreaded when she had stood on the roof of her apartment complex in the cold while she had waited for Reign. Lying to Kara is pointless, they know each other too well for that, the meaning of every twitch, every telltale sign. She has no other choice but to tell her sister how she went behind her back, putting herself in life-threatening danger because of some vague, hazy memory. While she slowly uncurls her aching limbs, she thinks how she went behind too many backs in the past weeks. She had had her reasons. Valid reasons she believes but, in the end, she caused only pain for everyone involved. She wrings her hands to keep them from trembling, stiff fingers kneading stiff joints until her bones crack.

“I got Reign’s fingerprints and compared them with,” she tries to swallow the three-letter lump in her throat without success, “Her fingerprints are stored in the L-Corp employees’ databank,” she mumbles eventually.

There’s a deep crease between Kara’s brows as she asks: “How did you get a Worldkiller’s fingerprints?”

Alex withers under her gaze, already lying on the floor only waiting to be kicked again. “I got them. Isn’t that enough?”

Kara shakes her head: “How can you be sure that they weren’t Sam’s, how did you-“

Suddenly, Alex has enough of no one believing her, of this constant _justifying_ she is forced to and she snaps: “I _know_ , Kara, ok? I was standing right next to her. I am absolutely-“ she turned to her sister in frustration and exhaustion but then she is only wide eyes and mouth moving without speaking.

Kara’s face moves from shock to disbelief to anger in the blink of an eye: “What were you thinking, Alex?! She could have _killed_ you!”

Alex’ face turns grim, only hard edges and sharp angles. That is the one thing they are all wrong about. Reign would never hurt her. Not anymore. Kara thinks she looks stormy because of a whole other reason.

“She is dangerous, a murderer, a lunatic!” her sister exclaims in staccato-esque bursts that hit Alex like bullets.

Oh, how wrong Kara is, straying further away from what Reign really is with each label she puts on her. Alex grits her teeth, pressure climbing in her jaw and straining in her neck. She shouldn’t, she really shouldn’t say the next words, but she will not stand by and watch and wait until the DEO hunts down the woman she has fallen for to get to the woman she shouldn’t have fallen for. The way the DEO treats aliens is not always the way they deserve to be treated. Always _worse_ and never _better_. Alex can imagine the torture and pain certain Agents would hurl at Reign only all too well. Not long ago she was one of them. And Reign would tear each and everyone of them apart, neatly at the seams or messy and bloody right in half. And Sam would be caught in the crossfire, written off as collateral damage. Alex’ whole body quakes from the ice-cold shiver that runs down her back. That can never happen.

“She is not like that,” she says in a low voice.

Kara jerks her chin, doggedly, cruelly. She is the most kind-hearted person Alex knows, the _sweetest_ , _kindest_ person in the world but if you ever push her to the point where she is bitter and silent and angry, then you really messed up.

“How do you want to know that?”

She averts her gaze, casts it all over the large room, eyes jumping from spot to spot, from memory to memory. Sam. Reign. Back to Sam. Lastly, she stares at the ceiling, takes a stumbling, unsteady breath. She just knows. She knows that Reign is different, that she is better, _good_ with the same conviction she has about being a mom.

“She saved my life. More than once.”

It is the first time this morning that she sounds sure and solid. If she must question everything else, this is something she can be sure of. Next to her, Kara scoffs, the air makes a hissing sound being pressed between the tip of her tongue and the back of her teeth. Alex looks at her, locks their gazes because Kara must understand this, must understand that currently they are losing against the Worldkillers and that Reign might be their only chance. “I saw a light in her, Kara, and Rao help me I will protect it,” she says determined, “She cares about me.”

“You think you are some Worldkiller-Whisperer? That you can calm her? Talk her out of her next killing spree?” Her sister throws in her face, fearful and doubtful because Alex protects the monster that killed dozens of people, _Alex_ , of all people defends a criminal of the worst kind.

“It’s something, Kara!” the redhead retorts with as much strength as she has left. Her broken heart cannot take anymore fighting, anymore harsh words, anymore of _anything_.

“So, you’re Black Widow singing The Hulk to sleep? Or what?” Kara doesn’t get it or doesn’t want to, and Alex cannot really blame her, but she is not even _trying_. She shakes her head, half out of resignation, half out of frustration and two halves because she cannot take it any longer.

“It’s better than pumping Kryptonite into her until she dies!” Alex breathes heavily, sees the shock in her sister’s eyes at the sudden outburst and realizes that she is standing all of a sudden. She falls back into the cushions, too exhausted and drunk to remain on her quivering legs any longer, just broken and battered and bruised. Limp and forgotten she sinks deeper into the cushions: “What is the alternative?”

“We split them of course,” Kara says resolutely.

“How do you want to do that?” Alex asks stubbornly with a bit of fear because _splitting_ sounds too damn close to _killing._

Kara does this thing when she presses her lips together and puffs her cheeks, her thinking face. Eventually, she takes her glasses off, palms against cheeks and fingertips gliding over her forehead and temples: “We bring her into the DEO, we will bring Lena in, we will find a way to get rid of Reign.”

Alex’ heart stretches and contracts painfully in her chest because no one sees that Reign is a person, too and the only one who has a say in the matter of _splitting_ or _killing_ or whatever is Sam. She doesn’t want to lose the Worldkiller and she will do anything to save Sam from the pain that would await her in the cold and sterile halls of the DEO.

“No,” she says quietly, “What if something goes wrong?”

Kara exhales long, the crease becoming deeper: “Sam is my friend, too and I want to save her just like you. But we cannot-“

Alex cuts her off, hands slicing the air like knives, her voice so sharp it’s cutting: “I said _no_! I’m not risking her life!” The fronts are hardening between the two sisters and Alex simply doesn’t have the energy this morning to fight this out. “You were the one who said we must save them,” the redhead says, resting her body against the couch, finally giving up on being tense and sensitive. Now she doesn’t feel anything anymore.

“I was talking about Julia and Sam. Not about the Worldkillers, Alex,” Kara says in reproachful disbelief.

“Kara, we need her. We need Reign,” the redhead says, becoming quieter and quieter as if the exhaustion is finally taking its toll on her.

“What are you talking about?”

Alex’ head lulls to the side and she stares at her sister with bloodshot, bleary eyes: “We are losing. We are losing this war and Reign is the one chance we have to get the upper hand.”

Kara stares back as if she either doesn’t want to or cannot believe her sister: “No, no. Of course, we can win. We come up with a plan. You and Lena will think of something.”

Tired Alex shakes her head slightly: “None of our plans worked so far. They beat you black and blue. _Every_ time. And Purity wiped out half of the DEO with a snap of her fingers. We have nothing against them.”

Her sister visibly struggles with this hard truth but that doesn’t make it wrong after all. Instead of searching for new useless arguments, Kara says defeatedly: “I cannot believe you defend her. Not after everything she did.”

Alex cannot believe it either and that is the problem. The only thing she knows is that she will try until her dying day to save them both. Save everyone. Like always. The only one who can change her mind about this is Sam.

"What if it was Lena?" Alex asks in a very small voice. Kara's whole body stiffens.

“You cannot possibly compare Lena to Reign?" she asks, letters trembling with anger.

And Alex is aware that this is a low blow, bringing up the _one_ person that is always Kara’s blind spot, the one person she would do and sacrifice everything for. But desperate times, desperate measures. Or something like that.

"I am not comparing _them_ , I am comparing _us_ , Kara," Alex presses on, so, so tired of going on like this. "You did everything to defend her. To give her a second chance even when everybody else told you otherwise and was against you.” Her jaw works, she swallows and continues: "And I will give Reign that second chance. She deserves to have the chance of proofing herself. To Sam. To me." If that is, what Sam wants. She stares with a hard face at Kara: "Nothing and no one is black or white in this world. Not Lena and not Reign.”

Kara stares back with an equally tight expression: "I really hope this doesn't blow up in your face.”

It already did. It blew up all over _everything_ and Alex is in no place currently to pick the pieces up. There are just too many: Sam, Reign and now Kara. She doesn’t even know where to begin. She just wants to wrap her arms around Sam, to curl her body around her soft curves and long limbs and protect her from all this horror. With Sam by her side she could get through anything, without her she doesn’t even know how to get up from the couch. Silence hangs _heavy_ and _loud_ between the sisters, dividing and suffocating.

“Why didn’t you tell me right away?” Kara asks eventually, calm and hurt, the heat of the argument having left.

Alex rubs at her tired eyes: “It wasn’t my secret to tell. It’s her life. Her body,” a hand moves through her hair, getting stuck halfway in tangled knots, “And I already hurt her enough by being the person who told her about Reign.”

Her sister lowers her head in the tiniest nod. Suddenly, Alex lets out a breath she has been holding since Sam left: “You should go to work.”

Kara instantly protests: “No! I’m not leaving you like this.”

“Kara, I can’t do this now. The only thing I can think about is her and how she’s doing and what I should do, and we will not get anywhere like this.”

They both fall silent again. Meanwhile, Alex marvels at the fact that even when they argue like this, painfully and irreconcilable, they still try to look out for each other. Lastly, Kara clears her throat: “I’ll come back to check on you. And we must talk about… _them_.”

Without adding anything further, she pulls Alex in a tight hug, holds her strong and steady, conveys that even though they think so differently about this disaster, she will be there. “I’m _so_ sorry, Alex.” And Alex can only barely keep herself from howling.

 

Neither Sam nor Alex notice how beautiful the winter day outside is, temperature rising enough that one doesn’t lose any toes, air dry and crisp carrying the scent of clean snow. Lena takes Ruby out in the park, Kara spends her lunch break on the balcony in the remaining DEO tower, ignoring Mon-El beside her, blinking into the clear sky, unsure about what she is supposed to do.

When the sun falls slowly through various shades of orange and red and finally into soft purple and rich indigo blue, painting the sky in silky pastel colors, Sam opens her eyes. As soon as her consciousness kicks in, she jerks upwards, in short breaths and choppy, frantic movements. But her hands are clean and the rest of her body, too. While she takes slow, bumpy breaths, she notices that she is in her underwear and that an empty cereal bowl rests on the nightstand. She cannot remember getting up from the floor downstairs or eating anything.

Suddenly, her stomach drops, face white as a sheet, and she feels sick. In a blur, she falls out of bed makes it to the adjacent bathroom just in time when the first retch rattles her weak frame. Tears spring to her eyes, she coughs and gags, but nothing comes out. Eventually, she stands up from the cold tiles, weight resting against the sink, shoulders trembling. _She_ took care of Sam and the fact is so disturbing that Sam’s anger and pain spill over, explode into a furious punch against the mirror above the sink.

“Get out of my head!” Another punch. And another until blood splatters on the broken shards.

* * *

 

Wednesday

 

Another long, sleepless night turns into another bright and refreshing morning, too quickly.

Sam moves downstairs, onto the couch, the kitchen, the hardwood floor. She spends half an hour barefooted in the garden. Alex empties the liquor shelf, one bottle after the other, dragging herself from the kitchen to the bed and back to the kitchen throughout the day.

Neither of them sleeps or eats or showers. And neither of them _cares_.

Alex drowns in guilt and drowns her guilt in alcohol while Sam desperately tries to stay in control of her body. She sits on the kitchen floor, sore back pressed into the corner of two counters, when Ruby calls. She’s confused and angry and nine years old again when they had to move the last time before coming to National City and she had to leave all her friends behind all of a sudden. Sam has trouble keeping the tears out of her voice, as she tells her daughter that she caught a really nasty virus and better stays alone until it wears off. Because she is too smart for her young age, Ruby asks about Alex. Sam lies that Alex got it worse. The silence on the other end is louder than any words, brimming with incrimination and blame and Sam knows that her daughter doesn’t believe her. She cannot tell her the truth, though, not over the phone. And maybe never. She just wants to protect her, at least until she finds the right words, until she finds a way to make sense of any of it and suddenly she must think about Alex.

Ruby only hangs up after Sam swore that they would see each other on Friday and Sam swears and promises a hand clasped tightly over her mouth so that her daughter doesn’t hear the pain.

The rest of the day, she keeps thinking about Alex, phone constantly clutched in her hand in a death grip.

Alex’ phone is tangled somewhere in the bedsheets. Every now and then, her fingers glide hopefully through the folds and wrinkles until they find it, heartbeat momentarily breaking its lethargic rhythm to escalate until she can practically feel it throbbing in her throat.

At five in the afternoon, Sam comes to the painful conclusion that maybe Alex had a point.

At five fifteen, she thinks dejectedly that Alex would have _never_ betrayed her with the monster living inside her. What they had, what they have, is _real_ and _true_ and suddenly Sam misses her so much that she has a thirty-minute break down, wrapped in Alex’ favorite blanket, the one she claimed during her one-week stay. It still smells faintly of a damp forest and warm leather. The bitter after thought, though, is not long in coming.

So, maybe Alex wasn’t screwing behind her back, but something is definitely going on between the Worldkiller and the redhead. And by God, she wants to know what it is even if it kills her. It’s her body after all the Worldkiller uses. Without thinking, she pulls up Alex’ number on the phone and only stops when her finger hovers over the call button. This repeats countless times for the remainder of the day but ultimately Sam cannot find the courage in her to call. For the first time, since the fight, she fears that Alex will not talk to her when she comes around, that her sharp and horrid words cut too deep. Alex has a soft, _way_ too soft heart under her hard exterior after all.

Across town, Alex changes her mind about calling Sam with every swig of whatever she is drinking currently. Ruby tries to talk to her for hours and eventually sends her a handful of texts, worried, confused and upset because she is treated like a child and no one tells her anything and she _hates_ it. She just wants to know that Alex takes care of herself and reminds her that she is stronger than some nasty virus. Alex plays along with Sam’s lie and sends Ruby a selfie, sporting a weak thumbs-up, the empty wine bottles safely hidden under the covers.

Afterwards, the fear of never getting to see the girl again, of never hugging her again, of never arguing about the last cheeseburger again is so overwhelming that it sends Alex into a new downward spiral of dry-heaving and burning eyes and tears that won’t come anymore.

Sam spends half of the night staring at the selfie Ruby took of herself and Alex during the soccer match, wondering if she can ever be around them again without fearing to kill them.

Alex falls into a restless sleep at ten to three, thumb half obscuring a snap on her phone Kara took of her, Ruby and Sam in the DEO towards the end of Alex’ recovery after the desert incident. Alex had shown Ruby easy fighting stances when out of nowhere, the teenager tackled her into a bone-crushing hug. They stumbled into Sam and Kara had pressed the release the second they all fell into each other, only wide grins and twinkling eyes and Alex’ heart broke all over again.

* * *

 

 

Thursday

 

Kara kicks Alex out of bed a little after nine the next morning, wordlessly shoves her into the bathroom and when the redhead emerges fifteen minutes later, she notices two plastic bags by the door.

One contains empty bottles and one contains full ones. Kara seizes the rest of the liquor and Alex thinks her liver will thank her for it one day. They don’t speak while Alex drinks something else than whisky or wine for the first time in three days, the strong coffee actually doing something to get her out of the black hole she disappeared into on Monday and then they remain silent until Alex eats two pancakes. It takes the redhead so long that Kara eats her own tower of banana-chocolate-chip deliciousness, cleans the kitchen and prepares a fresh round of coffee in the meantime.

“Have you talked to her?” Kara asks softly when Alex refills her mug.

They both hope to keep things from going out of hand again, it’s clearly taking an effort, the mood in the kitchen already strained before they even begin. Alex shakes her head, stares deep into the mug, desperately pushing the thought away that Sam’s pancakes taste better than Kara’s.

“I don’t think I’m the one who should reach out first,” she mumbles.

She swallows the emotions that attempt to drag her back down. “Any news on the Worldkillers?” Alex cannot bring herself to say Reign’s name or to look at her sister.

Kara knows, nonetheless, that she only asks because of Reign and that the other two Worldkillers have mostly slipped into unimportance for her. The blonde briefly crinkles her brows, lips pressing tight together, then she sighs: “No. I suppose that’s a good thing.”

Alex weakly bows her head.

 

* * *

 

Sam decides to finally take a shower because she is slowly getting disgusted with herself. There’s a _horrible_ taste in her mouth, her cheeks are _sensitive_ from all the salty tears and her hair must look like she put a finger in a socket. At least it feels like that, all knotted and greasy. She stays under the pleasant spray, thinking about the morning she caught Alex singing in the shower, until the water runs cold. She clings to that moment while she gets dressed and cannot help the small, sad smile that spreads on her face.

Sam had listened to her girlfriend singing some upbeat pop-song for a couple of minutes and then fell in tune with her during the chorus. Alex had let out a high-pitched shriek, one she will deny for the rest of her life, there was a loud clatter and then Alex’ poked her head out between the shower curtains, more embarrassed than Sam has ever seen her before. Her embarrassment on that day will only be outdone by the Roleplay-Incident years later. Sam furrows her brows, stray tears trickling down her face and the twisted smile set more firmly on her features.

She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror integrated into the wardrobe. The smile falls from her lips, jaw growing tight, brows furrowing until she looks almost as murderous as the Worldkiller. She has no clue how this thing works, if the Worldkiller will hear her or if she will simply scream at her reflection for nothing but still, she rumbles: “You.”

She turns more fully towards the mirror, voice dropping even lower, loaded with even more anger, “You destroyed everything!”

Curse after curse, insult after insult hits the mirror until suddenly the world around her sways, then it tips over backwards, Sam’s back hits the mattress and she is out like a light.

* * *

 

 

“Why do you think you can control Reign?” Kara asks, carefully testing the waters with her sister, each word tentatively chosen, her tone measured.

Alex looks only barely better than on Tuesday, with dark circles under her eyes, her gaze haunted and her shoulders hunched. After Maggie left, Alex pretended to be strong, but this is a new kind of despair that weighs down on her, she doesn’t even pretend anything anymore and it terrifies Kara. She hasn’t talked with anyone about Sam, not with J’onn, not with Lena and all by herself she hasn’t been able to understand what Alex tried to tell her.

Sam and Reign are two different beings to her, too, but to Kara only one of them is worth trying to save. Reign is the devil in the flesh, a nightmare, an apocalypse and it confuses Kara beyond words why her sister is so vehemently _defending_ such a rotten soul. If the Worldkiller even has one.

Alex still doesn’t meet her eyes, stares instead at spots in the apartment that hold no meaning to Kara. Eventually, she turns the mug in her hands and says: “Would you even listen?”

Kara gathers herself and places a hand on Alex’ stiff knee without getting any response: “Let me try at least.”

She isn’t sure she can because this is all so twisted and wrong but for Alex’ sake she will give it her best. She wants to _understand_ , she really does, so she can help her sister through this pain and misery. She cannot possibly imagine what it does to you if the woman you love is part heaven and hell. Alex takes a long breath, places the mug on the coffee table and rubs her hands over her tense face:

“Reign and Sam,” she squeezes her eyes shut briefly and Kara cannot believe how much it hurts her sister to only say these names, “Reign and Sam are two different people. Completely different personalities and mostly isolated from each other.”

Kara nods and hums and waits for her sister to gather enough strength to go on.

“But they can influence each other. Emotionally. That’s where they are connected. And because Sam has…” There she stumbles over the words, inhales again, more controlled this time, “Because Sam had feelings for me Reign got them, too. Sam’s feelings spilled over or something and now Reign…” She stops again, shakes her head, curls her hands around her knees so much that Kara knows it must hurt. “I don’t know, Kara. I don’t know.” She stutters.

Kara gulps and moves her hand from Alex’ knee to her back, draws gentle circles between her quivering shoulder blades, like Alex did when they were teenagers and Kara was overwhelmed by her powers.

“Reign _likes_ me, or she _wants_ me or whatever. It’s such a mess.” Alex’ voice cracks more and more and Kara wonders when all this pain will reduce her to tears. Angry, her sister wipes at her dry eyes and says: “All I know is that she saved my life _twice_ and that she cannot _hurt_ me and that must count for _something_.”

Kara isn’t sure it does.

* * *

 

Sam jerks upwards in an unfamiliar place.

Everything is shrouded in shadows, knotted weeds and crooked, bulky roots crawl over the floor and she is instantly seized by panic. This is not her bedroom anymore. Or National City. Or maybe Earth.

Through the thick, white fog she can only see a couple of feet wide but to her relief she doesn’t see anyone. Still sitting, she takes her surroundings further in, ears strained, body tense and heart leaping right out of her chest. As eerie as this horrible place is, it somehow feels familiar, like something she has seen in a fever hallucination or in an awful dream.

Suddenly, Sam clamps her hands over her mouth because she actually _does_ remember this place. She sees it in her nightmare, the one she has for weeks and weeks now almost every night and she is convinced that it has something to do with the Worldkiller. And with Alex.

Gathering her courage, Sam stands up. She must find a way out of here and if she stumbles over the Worldkiller on her way then so be it. They have some things to discuss. Slowly, she wades through the fog, from tree to tree, simultaneously hoping and dreading that she will see someone behind the next trunk. She moves forward like this for what might have been hours and the longer she walks the more does her skin prickle, the more she feels like someone or something watches her, and she swears she hears whispers in the breeze breathing through the naked branches.

Her thoughts get carried away and she almost doesn’t see the figure standing on a small clearing a couple of feet in front of her. Sam bites her tongue to keep the gasp down that already forced its way into the hollow of her mouth and presses her back into the next best tree to hide. She holds her breath and listens intently for any sound and when she hears nothing she tentatively turns around, moving her head around the dark, gnarly trunk. She almost yelps again because the figure on the clearing is lean and a bit short and its hair shines red even in this twilight.

What the everfucking hell is _Alex_ doing here?

“Don’t you want to come closer?” Alex says, low and tempting and somehow this doesn’t sound like her at all.

For a split-second, Sam fears that she has been spotted but the figure is looking to the right, speaks to someone she cannot see. And then Reign steps onto the clearing and Sam curls her fingernails into the hard bark, so tight that the wood breaks slightly. She begins to tremble all over and gets the suspicious feeling that something is not right, that something is fundamentally wrong here.

Reign doesn’t look like she does on the frontpages of each and every National City newspaper, there’s no anger in her features, no rage, no murderous intent. Sam furrows her brows in confusion as she watches how _reluctant_ Reign is, how _uncomfortable_ even. Like she hates this place just as much as Sam does.

“You are not real,” Reign says so quiet that Sam barely hears her.

The figure tilts its head, the smile stretching wider, wider until it has a sinister touch: “But I am right here. You can _see_ me,” Then it runs a hand down its own chest, “And you can _touch_ me.”

Sam curls her nails tighter into the wood, so much that it hurts but she only registers how utterly unlike Alex this figure, this phantom, is. Reign steps closer, apparently against better judgement because she scowls and Sam wonders for the how manieth time this scene plays out like this.

“You are not Alexandra. You are just a lie,” Reign murmurs and it sounds like she says this more to convince herself than anything else and Sam’s breath hitches because Reign says Alex’ name with so much _care_ , so _soft_ that it just cannot be real.

The figure stretches a hand out, palm upwards, waiting and luring: “Of course, I am Alexandra. Don’t you feel what I feel for you? How torn I am between you and Samantha.”

Hidden away in the shadows, Sam is unable to understand what is going on in front of her, every fiber in her body screaming to get as fast and far away from here as she can. But her feet are rooted deeply to the ground and even as she wants to cover her ears, she cannot stop listening.

“Stop talking,” Reign hisses, sounding halfhearted and unsure.

The figure takes another step closer, standing right in front of the Worldkiller now: “Why should I stop talking? You _love_ my voice.” Its tone is cold, heartless and almost cruel and Sam has never heard someone say the word _love_ in such a disturbing, distorted way. It’s sick.

The figure tilts its head upward, its prominent jaw gets caught in a streak of milky light, her lips close to the Worldkiller’s ear and Sam’s breath begins to come in shorter and shorter. She doesn’t think she can bear what will most likely happen now.

“Don’t you want to hear my voice? You always listen so intently when I talk to Samantha, when she makes me feel good, when-“

“Stop it!” Reign snaps, harsh and hard but still sounding too much like begging. Sam’s stomach cramps painfully.

“Just _touch_ me, Reign,” the figure purrs and it sends shivers down Sam’s spine. “ _Touch_ me and I can make you feel good, too.”

Sam cannot look anymore, this is too much, too horrible. She presses the hand harder against her mouth, presses her forehead, her whole body against the tree and squeezes her eyes shut. Tears prickle hot behind her closed eyelids and she wants to vomit. She still hears Reign mumbling, “You are not real. You are not real.”

Sam takes a couple of deep breaths through her nose, forces herself to turn back around. Reign is so close to this awful, distorted illusion of _Alex_ that their noses almost touch and the Worldkiller begins to slowly lean in, although her expression is nothing less than _painful_ and _tortured_. Sam holds her breath, her heart stops beating and the moment they are about to kiss, the figure vanishes into thin air.

Reign reaches her hands out as if she wants to catch smoke, her jaw working, her teeth grinding, only _broken_ and _miserable_ and _desperate_. Sam sucks in a sharp breath, partly relieved, partly horrified and partly utterly dumbfounded. Involuntarily, she takes a step back and then a sudden crack rips through the silence like a canon.

She stepped onto a twig.

* * *

 

Alex downs the rest of her coffee whishing intently that it was something stronger.

Kara has gone awfully quiet next to her.

“What are you thinking?”

Her sister pushes her glasses up, fidgets, shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know. This is all really…” she trails of.

“Fucked up?” Alex fills in for her.

Kara nods defeatedly: “Yeah.” Then she clears her throat: “I’m just trying to understand,” she stops, coughs, grimaces, “Are you in love with _both_ of them?”

Alex wondered the same thing ever since she found out about Sam and Reign and hasn’t got any answer to that question. She _loves_ Sam. There is no way around that, no other word, no excuse. She _loves_ Sam so profoundly, so completely, so wild that she would do anything for her. And if they do not separate Sam and Reign, she will love the Worldkiller, too. And if they do separate them, Alex will love Sam just as unconditionally.

“I don’t know,” she answers eventually, pulls her legs to her chest again, pressing her eyes against her knees, so that she will not lose even more pieces of herself. “I just know that I want to give Reign a chance if Sam wants that, too.”

Kara sighs next to her: “You should really talk to her. Lena told me that she sounded miserable on Monday and since then she hasn’t heard from her. Ruby called her yesterday, but Sam only said that she would pick her up on Friday.”

Alex chokes out a bitter laugh: “She told her we caught a bug and are sick.”

“Alex, how long do you want to continue like this?”

Alex turns her head towards her sister, right cheek resting on her knees and her heart clenches, and tenses and just might continue breaking bit by bit.

“I don’t know. I cannot call her. I tried. Yesterday. The whole day I tried and…” Kara opens her arms, draws Alex in and finally, after four days, Alex melts into her and weeps and weeps and weeps.

“I miss her so much.”

Kara mumbles into her hair: “I know.”

“It hurts so much,” Alex sobs, all hitched breath and crumbling voice.

“I know,” Kara repeats. She rubs her sister’s back, kisses her temple and just holds onto her. “But you must talk to each other or you both-“ she wants to say _die_ but that might be too strong of a word. It’s the next best thing, though, because like this Alex will wither away sooner or later and she is damn sure that Sam is not any better.

“I hurt her so much, Kara.” Alex hiccups, shaking uncontrollably.

“We will find a way,” Kara murmurs, “I promise we find a way to make this right.”

And with much hesitation, Kara accepts that she will support Alex by whatever she and Sam decide to do. Even if that means that Reign stays alive.

* * *

 

 

Sam stumbles backwards and lands on the forest floor with a dull thud.

She squeezes her eyes shut and hopes briefly that Reign didn’t hear her. Maybe she is not as ready to face her evil twin as she wanted to believe. When she opens her eyes again, though, she flinches, her heart skips a beat and this time she does let out a gasp.

Reign stands above her, stares down at her with unmoving eyes and an unreadable expression: “Look who we have here. Samantha.”

Out of nowhere, the anger and frustration are back and Sam dares to spit: “You destroyed everything! This is all your fault!”

Reign’s left eyebrow twitches, her jaw tenses dangerously and she curls her hands into fists: “My fault?” Her tone is sharper than a knife’s edge. Sam scrambles back onto her feet, throws caution into the wind, ready to face this most inner of all demons:

“Yes! Your fault! If it weren’t for you then…then,” she doesn’t come any further because the anger and fear and pain are choking her.

Reign jerks her chin, narrows her eyes: “Then _what_ , Samantha?”

Then she wouldn’t have felt like dying painfully slow every second for the last four days.

“Then my life wouldn’t be such god damn _nightmare_ for once!” she screams.

Some day, Sam will ask herself where she took all the courage from in that situation. But then again this was one of the most life-changing arguments of her entire life and it wouldn’t have worked any other way. Reign takes a menacing step closer to her, features contorting into such a horrible grimace that Sam flinches because, by _God_ , this is _her_ face and she has never thought that she could look so _murderous_.

“You think your life is broken because of me? That I am responsible for your pain?”

Sam swallows, balls her own hands into fists and they might as well trade physical punches: “Yes! Of course, you are!”

Reign is trembling with rage, exhales sharply through her nose and what she says next catches Sam completely off-guard: “You brought this onto yourself. All this anger and pain that slowly eats you up, I have nothing to do with it. It comes from within yourself.”

“That-“ Sam stutters, wide-eyed and shocked and speechless, “That’s not true. It is all you. If it weren’t for you then I would be happy!”

Now that she found her voice back, the words splutter out of her without control: “I had _everything_ I could ever want, and you took it all away. Because of you Alex…Alex…”

And just as fast, the words leave her again, speaking out loud this name, _this_ name, leaves her struggling, and swooning and gasping. Reign makes a dismissive noise, briefly averts her gaze and says: “Alexandra did everything to keep you safe, to protect your fragile human heart.”

Sam stiffens, takes a step back because no, no, no, she will not listen to Reign telling her these things.

“Have you stopped just once in your selfishness to think about _her_? What _she_ feels like?” Reign’s eyes are searing and for one moment of shock Sam fears that the Worldkiller will blast her out of this dreadful forest with her heat-gaze. “Have you ever considered what it has been like for her to carry this burden of knowing about us? What it truly means that she chose to remain by your side even though she knew about me?” Sam opens her mouth to defend herself, but no words come out, nothing comes out and she can only stare in silence at the seething Worldkiller, overcome by sudden, unexpected guilt.

“I did not think so,” Reign comments tight lipped.  “You are not the only one in pain here, Samantha.”

Sam wonders confused who exactly the Worldkiller is talking about and why she even knows all this.

“But she went behind my back. She knew for weeks and didn’t tell me and she…you and her…I _know_ what you did!” Sam feels like she is climbing a steep mountain, the ground loose, barely giving her anything to hold on and Reign waits at the top, ready to push her down again.

“You know _nothing_ , Samantha,” Reign hisses, “She was ready to give up on you, just so you know who you truly are, and you thank her by _hurting_ her.” The last words are barely audible anymore so angry has the Worldkiller become but they are the ones that cut Sam the deepest.

She shakes her head, tries to keep the Worldkiller from crawling under her skin, of manipulating her thoughts: “No, no, no.” she whispers quietly to herself. “I saw how you kissed.”

And then she is furious again, the angry beast on her shoulders taking flight and she shouts and screams: “How _could_ she! How could she _do_ that!”

And then Sam is not talking about Reign anymore but about herself because that is the thing she probably understands the least in all of this chaos: “How can she keep loving me even though she knows about you. About all the people you…we…I killed. All those lives. All that blood. How can she not see that!”

Abruptly, Reign grabs her wrists roughly and stares long and hard into her eyes: “That is the thing you do not understand, Samantha. She _does_ see. All of it. And the remarkable thing about Alexandra is that she keeps on loving you, despite of everything.”

She tightens her hold on Sam’s wrists until the human winces: “You threw it all away. She was ready to love _you_ and the _child_ and even _me_ and you destroyed that all by yourself!”

Sam jerks her hands away: “What do you know about _love_?”

She roars because she will not be lectured by a _Worldkiller_ about something so human.

“What do you know about _feelings_?”

Reign shoves her into a tree and the impact almost sends Sam tumbling to the ground.

“You are right. I don’t know much about feelings,” and out of nowhere her anger slips into something way less hard, way less cold and she says: “But I know what it is like to _feel_.” Sam shies away, trips back against the bark, confused and scared and suddenly unsure. “Do you want to know what it feels like to be trapped here for almost three decades watching you live your miserable life, watching you make all this horrible decisions without any one with me. Without another soul. _Alone_?”

Something very close to pain flashes across Reign’s features and Sam stutters: “No…no…don’t.”

But Reign presses on, unrelenting and mercilessly and Sam is utterly helpless in front of her: “This solitude eats away at your _soul._ The emptiness eats away at your _heart_ day by day until there is nothing left. Until you go crazy from this loneliness and you would do everything, you do everything, to escape.” Then Reign grabs her shoulders, presses her further into the tree and Sam is begging, pleading:

“No…Don’t do this…Don’t.”

And Reign rests her forehead against Sam’s and Sam lets out a blood-curdling scream. Searing hot pain shoots through every cell of her body, burning her from within and she is gripped by the same unspeakable terror as in her nightmares. There is no guilt for the lives Reign took, no regret for the pain she inflicted on others but an endless, all-consuming loneliness. Eradicating everything in its way. The kind that makes you forget who you are. The kind that makes your very soul _splinter_. The kind that makes your heart _wither_. And this just might be worst than dying. And between all the dread and sorrow and excruciating pain there is suddenly something else. A delicate, fragile feeling that shines as bright as a star in the middle of this black hole. It is the feeling Reign has for Alex. So weak, so small. But it is there.

Sam cannot take this one second longer or she will drown in the despair of Reign’s emotions. “Stop…” she chokes, “Please, stop.”

Then her legs buckle, she slumps to the floor and hot tears stream quietly down her face. Sam is unable to say anything, struggling with her own feelings flowing slowly back into her, reduced to shakes and shivers and unblinking eyes. Reign stares at her without any pity: “Before Alexandra, I did anything I had to. I did anything that gave me a purpose. And cleansing this foul planet from its rotten humans sounded like a good enough cause.”

But Sam doesn’t listen to her. Instead she whispers, tears blurring her vision: “You were so _lonely_.”

Reign doesn’t say anything in return, watches silently as Sam gets back up on shaky legs. No one should feel like this, not even a Worldkiller. Not even trying to stop crying, Sam says: “Alex is the first to treat you like something else than a monster.”

Reign bows her head in something that might be shame: “She is the first to treat me like _anything_.”

In that moment, Sam finally understands what Alex meant when she said that Reign is different from the other Worldkillers. That maybe Reign can be more than a coldblooded killer. Sam will never understand why she made the decision in that moment, or why she made it at all, but she gets her trust in Alex back and if Alex thinks that Reign can be _good_ then maybe she is right about that.

“Do you love Alex?”

It makes perfect sense because Sam _loves_ her, with all her heart, with every fiber of her being and if they can make it work after all this, she will never let her go again. And she never does. Reign tilts her head, narrows her eyes and looks just confused and so, so sad.

“As you rightfully said I don’t know what love is. But Alexandra changes everything.”

Sam takes a deep breath, looks at Reign, really looks at her for the first time ever because this is _do_ or _die_.

“Do you want to protect her?” Reign nods without hesitating.

“Do you want to protect the world she lives in?” Reign nods again.

“Do you want to see her happy?” A third nod.

Sam lets out the longest breath she has ever been holding: “So do I.” She offers the Worldkiller her hand: “Let’s do that together.”

Reign furrows her brows, doubt creeping into her features and Sam stretches her hand out further: “Let us love her. You and I. Together.”

Slowly Reign raises her left hand.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

When their hands touch, the world around them dissolves, the deep shadows vanish first, then the thick fog, then the gnarly trees and finally the whole forest.

When Sam opens her eyes the next time, she is standing on the sandy path from her dream. The sunshine is warm on her cold face, the breeze gentle and she feels a deep, calming peace settling in her heart. She looks at Reign with a small smile on her face because she looks just the way she felt the first time she had this dream. Wondering, marveling and like she never wants to leave again.

“You look good without the suit,” Sam says softly.

Reign’s eyes widen, and she casts a quick glance down. “This is Kryptonian clothing,” she mumbles.

Reign wears a deep burgundy dress, wide around the chest, ruffled around the waist and then falling in a straight line until it ends slightly below her knees.

“It suits you,” Sam says.

Reign scoffs: “Speak for yourself.”

With raised eyebrows Sam looks down at herself and true to Reign’s words she wears a similar cut dress in a milky blue. Suddenly, something moves in the corner of her eyes and Sam turns her head. A warm smile spreads on her face and she missed this sight so much during the last couple of days that she almost tears up again. Alex stands a couple of feet away from them, hair shining bright, the softest look on her face, _patient_ and _waiting_ and this time it’s really her. Or as real as an illusion of Alex can be in this illusion of Krypton. Unlike in her dream, Ruby is nowhere in sight and Alex is clad in dark grey. A tight shirt with an open collar and slightly less tight pants. Reign’s breath hitches and her hold on Sam’s hand gets stronger.

“Hey,” Sam says to get the Worldkiller’s attention. Reign can barely tear her eyes away from Alex.

“If you ever hurt someone again. If you ever hurt Alex, I will kill myself.” Her voice is calm, her tone steady and they both know that Sam is absolutely serious. Reign nods briefly and then she steps away. Sam feels almost shy to watch but she must because Reign looks so much like herself after all and this is just so surreal and pretty much like she always imagined an out-of-body experience. Reign walks slowly towards Alex, comes to a halt two steps away from her, scarred one too many times by the awful, twisted version of Alex in the forest. Eventually, though, she closes the distance, raises her hands to cup Alex' cheeks, runs her thumbs over her cheekbones and Sam, embarrassed by so much intimacy, decides to quietly slip away.

When her eyes fly open, she lies on her bed, in the same clothes she put on this morning, but something feels definitely different. Her body feels _fuller_ somehow, stretched, like something is pushing against her skin from the inside. It’s not strong enough to be unpleasant but the change is there, and, in all honesty, it is weird. Actively sharing her body with Reign will need some adjustment time.

“Can I fly now?” she wonders aloud without expecting any response.

When Reign answers her, she almost tumbles out of bed: “ **If you try and fail, Alexandra will personally kill us both**.”

* * *

 

 

Friday

 

Alex stands in front of the kitchen counter, staring at the phone that sits in a perfect ninety-degrees angle to the edge with a grim face and crossed arms. Today is the day she will call. Today is the day she will apologize and beg and plead and do all the things that are necessary to get Sam back. She rolls her shoulders, cracks her knuckles, inhales deeply and takes the phone in her hands. Before she gets very far though, there is a loud and firm knock on the door. Alex jerks from the sudden noise, the phone slips from her hands and clatters to the floor. Cursing, she picks it up while she wonders, who it could be. It’s barely half past nine and Kara should be at work. Maybe it’s J’onn or Winn, coming to check up on her. Whoever it is, they are impatient, knock again and a third time, and Alex rolls her eyes.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” she huffs annoyed, “What’s the-“

The next word gets stuck in her throat because she opens the door and Sam stands on the other side. She looks just as bad and worn out and exhausted as Alex feels. Not even her light make-up can hide the many sleepless nights and the folds of her clothes cannot hide that she has not been eating enough. Alex must hold onto the door to not faint on the spot because simply _seeing_ Sam, being able to _look_ at her makes a hundred things erupt back into life in Alex’ heart.

“Sam,” she whispers breathlessly, brain too overloaded to say much else. Sam wrings her hands, shuffles her feet and says: “Hey,” in a small but steady voice.

An awkward silence settles between them because Alex cannot believe that Sam is really there, and Sam just waits for Alex to say something. Eventually, she indicates with a hand towards the inside of the apartment: “Can I come in?”

Alex snaps out of her stupor, steps aside and stutters: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry. Come in.”

Alex closes the door and then they both hover unsure in front of the couch. Alex shoves her hands in the pockets of her jeans while Sam bites her lip. Then they talk at the same time: “What are you doing here?” – “I’m sorry, Alex.”

The redhead raises her brows in surprise, convinced that this was supposed to be her line. She opens her mouth to say something, but Sam put her bag down, raises both hands in front of her chest, palms outward and says: “No, _please._ Let me say this.”

Alex closes her mouth and nods.

“I’m really sorry, Alex. For the things I said. For the slap. For leaving like that.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Alex mumbles, never once breaking eye-contact with the woman she thought she lost forever. Sam hesitantly steps closer:

“I was so confused and scared and angry,” she says, cocks her head to the side, blinks away tears because, god damn it, they cried enough during the past five days.

“I let that out on you. That wasn’t fair.”

Alex shakes her head, moves closer, too, desperate to be nearer to Sam: “I wasn’t fair either. I should have told you everything right from the beginning.”

Sam’s gaze flickers down, she gulps, reaches her hand out hesitantly. “Can I…”

Alex slips her fingers between Sam’s and the sensation is so _sweet_ that goosebumps erupt on her arms.

“Can we talk, Sam?” Alex asks hopefully, shifts her thumb into the space between Sam’s knuckles, holds on tighter because she never wants to let go again.

“Yes,” Sam answers.

They spend the next three hours, talking on the couch. About them, about their hopes and fears, about Reign, slowly, piece by piece, finding their way back to each other. Around noon, Alex has her arm around Sam’s shoulder and Sam’s nose is pressed against Alex’ collarbone. There is still much left to discuss but simply _being_ with each other seems way more important right now. Quietly, they move and shift against each other until Alex lies down, one hand behind the back of her head, the other tangled in Sam’s long hair while Sam lies half on top of her, left arm curled beneath her head, right arm resting on Alex’ stomach, her fingers splayed across her chest, right above her heart.

“Can we stay like this for a while?” Sam asks.

Alex’ hand drops down to her shoulder, presses them further together while she whispers: “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay but University got in the way and this chapter was such a pain and just kept getting longer and longer.  
> I'm not absolutely happy with the outcome yet and there will be an edited version in the next two days but right now it is almost five am and I really need to sleep.
> 
> Like always at this point I sincerily hope that you liked the chapter and leave me some love and/or criticism in the comment section. I'm happy about everything: Kudos, smileys and comments.


	14. Alex/Sam/Lena/Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's adjustment time for Sam and Reign.  
> Find out why Reign is a big fan of zucchini and hates Lena.  
> Why does Sam think she can never sleep again?  
> How will people react when they learn about Reign?
> 
> Read on in chapter 14!

* * *

 

 

It is still Friday, still around noon and Sam and Alex drift off into a light sleep.

Sam set the alarm on her phone, so that she would not forget to pick Ruby up from school because she’s knocked out on her girlfriend’s couch in the middle of the day. Neither of them really slept in the last five days, only catching some restless hours here and there because either Reign or exhaustion forced them to and wrapped up in each other like this they can finally relax. They look so innocent and peaceful that not even the remainings of their heavy conversation dare to creep into their dreams. 

After both of them had apologized, Sam admitted that she was scared out of her mind that Reign will go full-blown homicidal maniac again, that she would hurt others, or Alex, or Ruby and then she could never live with herself. It is hard enough to come to terms with what Reign did so far. That Sam has any control over Reign is nothing but a sweet illusion and if she dwells too long on what Reign _did_ instead of what she _will do,_ the panic drains all air from her lungs and her hands feel _sticky_ and _wet_ and _red_.

Alex took her hand, the most serious look on her face and said that they will always find ways to bring Reign under control, they must, there is no room for failure.

Alex admitted in frail words and brittle voice that the events in the desert left scars in her that run _deeper_ than skin, and tissue and muscle, that the density of the Fortress of Sanctuary closes in around her at times even if she stands out in the open, that her ears ring when all is quiet, and her lungs cramp up so much that no oxygen gets past her larynx. The only thing that anchors her in those moments is thinking about Sam and Ruby.

Sam held tighter onto the redhead’s hand, ran soothing circles over white knuckles, whispered in a low voice that they will find a way to get the panic under control. All the while, she struggled with Reign to remain calm in her because the Worldkiller was about to turn the whole city upside down to find Purity, to bring hell down onto her sister for hurting Alex like this. Part of Sam wanted to let her. Then they talked about Reign. A lot.

“You what?”

Sam shrugged, pressed her hands against each other, the tips of her fingers because that is where she feels Reign the most, a constant tingle right under her skin. “We merged. Or something like that. It’s hard to describe.” It is the strangest she has ever felt, like her body suddenly is too small for her, like her bones and skin cannot contain two so very distinct souls.

Alex was completely taken by surprise: “I didn’t think you would-“ She stopped, started again: “Wow.” Shook her head: “What…why did you do that?”

Sam leaned her head back, stared at the ceiling, let out a sigh: “I had a long talk with her. Mostly about you.”

Alex averted her gaze, pressed her lips together to hide a light blush but it was useless: “About me?”

Sam let her head fall to the side, let her upper body slide closer to Alex until her cheek came to rest on the redhead’s shoulder. Sam could sense that Alex was stiff and tense because she still thought Sam blamed her for whatever was going on between the Agent and the Worldkiller. She didn't even wonder anymore why her jealousy faded almost as quickly as it had overcome her. The second, Sam felt what Reign feels for Alex she couldn't blame the Worldkiller anymore because she is in love after all. Just like herself.

Sam bumped their knees: “Of course, about you. We realized that we want the same thing.”

Alex fidgeted in her seat, twiddled her thumbs and by then Sam was able to find her embarrassment and awkwardness about Reign adorable.

“And what is that?” Alex’ voice wavered slightly, and Sam looped her arm through one of Alex’, slid a hand between Alex’ intertwined hands and squeezed:

“You, dummy.”

They were still sore and aching from their fight but the longer they talked, the closer they slid on the couch and touching each other, being close to each other, coming together again was the driving force of their whole conversation, like a steady undercurrent. Alex rested her head against Sam’s and chuckled lightly: “Really?”

Sam bumped their knees again playfully, laughed softly: “Stop pretending, Alex. I know what is going on between you two. You _like_ her.”

And Reign was a _completely_ hopeless case as far as Sam could judge from what she saw in the dark forest and on fake Krypton. And frankly, who could blame her? Alex is _gorgeous_ in every way possible. Alex leaned so far away from her that Sam could see the mortified expression on her face, the deep, deep blush, her tensed shoulders: “What…I…That’s not.” Then she grimaced, squeezed her eyes shut and let out a defeated grumble: “I have no clue how that happened. Seriously. I was all happy and in love with _you_ and then _she_ comes along, and she was so horrible and then she wasn’t anymore. Rao…” Alex hid her burning face in her hands but dared to take a peek between her fingers when Sam groaned next to her: “What?”

Sam shook her head, face half hidden in much the same fashion as Alex’: “She says she technically kissed you first. She’s being mean about it.”

“Oh, God,” Alex groaned, hiding her face again.

“I’m _so_ sorry.”

For a couple of moments, they sat there in silence too embarrassed to say something. Only Reign felt smug, but Alex didn’t know that. Suddenly, Alex’ head jerked up and she gasped: “Wait a moment. She’s here?”

Sam tilted her head, furrowed her brows: “Yeah, as I said. We merged and now, well, I think she is kind of _always_ there.”

“You can talk to her? You can hear each other?”

Sam shrugged: “I guess so. It’s really weird,” she let out an awkward laugh, “Like your consciousness suddenly comments on your life. A really sassy, bitchy consciousness by the way with a very questionable moral conception.” Alex grinned next to her and Sam was left momentarily speechless because she missed the twinkle in the redhead’s eyes so much, missed how beautiful she looks like this:

“Sounds like a pain.” Then she turned serious: “Tell her I’m mad because she didn’t make you eat properly.”

Sam lightly slapped her shoulder: “Hey, I’m not playing Hermes so you two can bicker,” then she pinched Alex’ sides, “And for the record, I know you haven’t been eating either.” The Agent let out a small squeal, tried to swat Sam’s hands away and that is how they ended all tangled up in each other.

They have time to talk about safety precautions, telling others, telling _Ruby_ and the remaining Worldkillers in the days and weeks to come. And time to figure out the complicated, knotted mess that their relationship has become now that Reign is in the picture, too.

 

* * *

 

 

When it’s time to pick up Ruby, Sam asks if Alex wants to stay over at the house again, for _safety reasons_ , of course.

No one can say how Reign behaves now and Sam is sure that the Worldkiller will be a lot tamer with Alex around. Alex packs an overnight bag without batting an eye and agrees that, yes, for _safety reasons_ she should stay over. Just in case something happens. Not because they were so incredible lonely this week.

Ruby scolds them both on the ride to the suburbs, complaining that they look all kinds of horrible and like they didn’t take care of each other at all. Alex and Sam share a loaded glance in the front, both glad that Ruby didn’t have to see them like that. Reign complains that Ruby has no manners and Sam already wishes there was a switch to turn the Worldkiller off. Her daughter talks them into lasagna again and salad and dessert and they spend a fortune in the supermarket.

While Sam tries to explain the concept of a vegetarian to Reign and that zucchini is just as good as beef, she spots Alex and Ruby in the cereal aisle. Ruby flails a hand to a box in the top shelf, one Sam never allows her to have because it is too sugary. She knows exactly what her daughter is doing because she looks at Alex with big, round eyes and even pouts. Alex indicates to the same box, Ruby nods and then Alex stretches on her tip-toes to get it, being a little too short herself to reach the shelf. They left their jackets in the car and Alex only wears a plaid shirt and a tank and both ride up higher and higher the more Alex stretches.

“ **If it’s that zucchini that gives Alexandra such a fine body, you should buy more** ,” Reign comments in a sultry tone, sending a spike of desire through Sam’s body, resulting in the brunette dropping the vegetable and turning bright red.

“You are such a nuisance,” Sam hisses under her breath, checking embarrassed if people stare at her.

“ **More of that vegetable** ,” Reign commands with a slight purr.          

Alex and Ruby eye her funny when Sam drops an armload of zucchini into the cart.

* * *

 

At home, the three of them prepare lunch together.

It’s Alex turn to put some music on, Sam argues that, _no_ , they will not listen to Panic! at the Disco because their songs contain too many swear words, but she earns instant protest from both Ruby and Reign and when Alex sings a little crooked into a spoon “ _I lost a bet to a guy in a chiffon skirt, but I make these high heels work_ ” she must admit defeat.

The teenager orders the adults to eat at least two plates, so they do not look like zombies anymore.  Sam hears the fear in her daughter's voice loud and clear even though Ruby works hard on sounding only _bossy_ and _annoyed_. Sam almost chokes on her next bite because the thought of telling Ruby about Reign is downright _horrible_ in a way she cannot endure after the past week. Alex surrenders after one and a half plates whereas Sam could have eaten five. It seems that she hasn’t Reign’s powers now but at least her metabolism. Then again, she cannot be sure about the powers. She didn’t try to fly, yet.

After lunch, Ruby reluctantly goes to her room to do homework, Sam and Alex clean the kitchen, and then they move Alex’ stuff upstairs. Alex automatically moves to the guest-room, but Sam holds her back by the cuff of her shirt. “It’s time for an upgrade don’t you think?” Sam mumbles, rubbing the thick fabric of the shirt between her thumb and index finger.

Alex looks at her with raised eyebrows: “Are you sure?”

Sam tugs on the sleeve, motions her head towards her bedroom. She sits down on the covers, brings Alex down with her, who sets the bag down in front of the wardrobe, making Sam think that it looks _right_ to have something of the redhead in her room. Alex looks at her expectantly but patiently, giving Sam the feeling that she is not pressured into talking before she gathered her thoughts. She bunches the covers up beneath her fingers, a little bit _scared_ of saying the next words, a little bit flustered:

“I’m giving you an out.”

The bed creaks next to her: “What?!”

It’s definitely the last thing Sam wants, she cannot imagine a life without the Agent right at the center, right next to Ruby, anymore but she must say this, she must make sure. She needs to know that Alex is doing this out of the right reasons and not an overwhelming sense of obligation.  “I know, I cannot do this without you, Alex,” Sam says, voice thick and heart throbbing and finally turning to look at this gorgeous woman by her side, “But I don’t want to pressure you into staying with me because of Reign or Ruby or whatever.”

Alex opens her mouth, to object, to protest, lungs expanding wide, but Sam shakes her head: “You had a tough year, too. With the engagement and Maggie,” Alex snaps her mouth shut, crinkles her brows, her expression turning sour. Sam inhales a shaky breath: “That needs time to heal and I just,” she swallows and bites her bottom lip, “I want to ask you if you are ready, if you _want_ to, to make this serious.”

Alex’ eyes widen, and Sam cannot gauge why, so she keeps talking, “No regrets. Going all in because I think with everything that has happened we are way past _slow_ ,” then she begins to ramble, the words wont stop, tumble over each other, run together and she wonders if Alex even understands her anymore:

“Because, you know Ruby, my _God_ , she adores you _so_ much, you are her hero.”

Alex’ breath hitches.

“And Reign is _so_ focused on you, zeros in so much on you that she will throw a tantrum if you leave and I don’t know if I can handle her alone and now I am pressuring you. I’m so sorry,”

Alex chuckles lightly.

“Honestly, I don’t know how I should get through this without you, how I should…“

Alex cuts her off with a twinkling laugh: “Oh, Sam.”

Then she takes Sam’s hands, kisses her knuckles lightly and Sam gasps because there is so much _love_ in Alex’ gentle, brown eyes, that they are shining, only honest and pure. “I don’t plan on going anywhere. No regrets. All in.”

Sam intertwines their hands, nods hesitantly before she asks: “But what about Maggie?”

Alex sighs good-heartedly: “Maggie will always be important to me. That’s just how it is. But we weren’t meant to be. In a couple of years, we would have probably hated each other and by now I’m kinda glad everything turned out the way it did.” Her voice is calm, her gaze reassuring and Sam cannot believe how strong and understanding and close to _perfect_ Alex is. “I’m glad because I got to meet you and Ruby and this…” she shrugs, smiles awkwardly, “This is everything I ever wanted.”

Sam cannot help the snort that escapes her. Alex’ cheeks turn pink, her grin abashed: “Ok. Maybe not the whole thing with the bratty, evil alien that lives inside my girlfriend, but I’ll take her, too.”

Sam’s smile turns watery, from happiness and relief and light, wonderful emotions. She wraps her arms tight around Alex’ slender shoulders, hides her nose in the spot behind Alex’ ear, where her scent is the strongest and she mumbles: “I don’t deserve you.”

Alex holds her tight, whispering over and over again that the opposite is the case.

* * *

 

 

They spend the rest of the day at home.

Kara and Lena cover for them at work after being promised that they will be told what happened soon, both more than relieved that the fighting is over. However, Kara is _anxious_ about how they will handle Reign and the other Worldkillers whereas Lena is _worried_ for her best friend’s heart. She will never tell Alex if her hitman contacts were real or just a bluff.

Everything remains quiet and peaceful for the remainder of the day. Sam and Alex make up lost time with cuddling and relaxing because the stress and pain of the last couple of days still weighs down on them and Reign keeps quiet, too, content with being so close to Alex. She makes voice-over comments here and there, mostly about a certain redhead, mostly inappropriate but she doesn’t try to burn the house down.

Everything is quiet until Ruby is finished with her homework and sets a mountain of board games on the coffee table. It comes as no surprise that Ruby wants to start with Trivial Pursuit it will become a tradition for her and Alex to play this particular game, always aiming to outsmart the other.

Reign bombards her with so many questions that Sam can barely concentrate on the game and completely falls behind and when they move to Settlers of Catan, Reign becomes competitive and Sam thinks its entertaining. She loves strategic board games, has her own competitive streak but when they set up Risk, things go out of hand. The second Reign hears the word _conquer_ , she is set on winning the game, really winning, not allowing the others to surrender or call it quits at close to midnight.

Ruby lost her last country half an hour earlier and fell asleep in Alex’ lap. Alex rolls the dices with one hand, the other supporting Ruby’s sleeping form: “I didn’t pick you to be this competitive,” she says with shining eyes.

Sam sets her wineglass down, next to Alex’ water glass and snatches the dices from the table: “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

Her numbers are higher than Alex’ and with a smug grin she picks five game pieces from Alex’ last country: “Lena can tell you all about my competitive streak some other day but tonight someone is set on world domination,” she says with a wink.

“ **Less talking more dicing** ,” Reign grumbles and her excitement is contagious and Sam can barely believe that they are actually having _fun_. Alex simply stares at her with raised eyebrows and an amused smile.

It takes ten more minutes until Sam takes the last country from Alex and the redhead motions with one hand, “Your majesty.”

They decide to leave the living room as messy as it is and head to bed. Alex is the first on the stairs, carrying Ruby who is out cold, and Sam has a really hard time not to drool, or melt, or shout at Reign for how _dirty_ her comments are because Alex is so gentle with her daughter, but her pants are also really tight.

When her head finally lands on the cushion, she lets out a long, exhausted sigh. Alex slips under the covers beside her, rests her head on Sam’s shoulder, rests her left hand on Sam’s stomach, snuggling into her with a content sigh of her own. Sam strokes her shoulder and naked arm with one hand, smiling at the low hum Alex breathes against her neck. When she has almost drifted off to sleep, Alex mumbles: ”What is it like with Reign?”

Sam keeps her eyes close, enjoys the tickling sensation Alex’ hair creates against her cheek: “It’s like sharing your body with a horny teenager but other than that it’s not that bad.”

“ **I have no horns** ,” Reign remarks dryly but Sam ignores her.

She feels Alex laugh against her skin: “Is that why you were staring at my ass so intently ten minutes ago?”

Sam’s eyes fly open, her cheeks grow hot and she buries her head in red locks: “Do you have eyes at the back of your head?”

Alex is grinning openly, she cannot see it, but she can feel it, sweet and warm against her pulse point: “I am a federal Agent in case you forgot. I have a sixth sense for that.”

Sam grumbles some more in embarrassment, then silence settles comfortably between them again and before Alex’ breathing can even out too much, Sam asks: “You and Reign. What is that?”

Alex shifts on top of her, leans her weight partly on her right elbow, partly on Sam’s chest and gives her a long look: “You know how much I am in love with _you_. You do know that, right?” She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth, furrows her brows, all shy and unsure.

Sam strokes her cheek, gives her a soft smile: “I _know_ , Alex. I’ll never doubt that again.”

Alex gives her a coy smile and Sam wants to kiss it right off her lips just because she feels so grateful to be one of the few people who gets to see this sight.

“That’s not why I asked, though.” Reign begins to protest in her but Sam hushes her, she’s doing this for her sake, too: “It’s just,” she rolls her eyes and blushes, “Reign is _so_ in love with you. You’re all she ever thinks about.”

Alex blushes, too, it’s visible even in the dark, her mouth falls open and her eyes widen: “She…she is?”

Sam nods her head while Alex presses hers against Sam’s chest: “Oh wow…I…this is so weird.”

“Yeah, it is,” Sam breathes.

Reign begins to thrash more violently in her and Sam momentarily jerks.

Alex lifts her head, searches her face: “You ok?”

Sam nods again, shrugs and grins awkwardly: “Reign is _embarrassed_.”

Alex chuckles: “That makes two of us.”

“Make that three.”

Then Alex’ expression gets more serious, she lets her hands trail over Sam’s left cheek, just a soft brush of her fingertips: “I cannot lie and say I don’t… _like_ her. She risked a lot for me and she can be nice if she wants to.” Then she ducks her head, her hair hides her face, but Sam hears the nervousness in her voice: “And I…well…I am _attracted_ to her because she has your face and your body and, _Jesus_ , have you seen yourself? You’re like a freaking goddess.”

Sam tightens her hold on Alex and mumbles: “Oh, stop it.”

Reign has given up making Sam stop talking about her and resumed to fume in silence and maybe she’s the tiniest bit happy, too. Alex raises her head again, the lines in her face tighter: “If I’m honest…I…want to see where this goes. With you. And her. The three of us.”

Sam’s breath hitches because she has never been in a situation like this before and she has no idea how they could pull this off but for a second, she imagines that Alex does the things to Reign that normally leave Sam _gasping_ and _panting_ and wanting _more_ and she must press her thighs together. Alex doesn’t seem to notice because her expression gets even more serious with a sprinkle of worry: “But I don’t want to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.”

Sam shakes her head rigorously because, dear _God_ , this might be hotter than she wants to admit, or thought was possible but there are a hundred things they would have to discuss first: “I’m not,” she says a little too loud, “I’m not uncomfortable with it.”

“ **Does anyone care to ask me?** ” Reign pipes up but Sam can feel that she just pretends to be stubborn, feels her excitement and nervousness and when it all bleeds and blends with her own emotions Sam is _overwhelmed_. Alex shifts a little upwards, until her nose is almost bumping Sam’s and the brunette’s heart skips a beat, her breath comes in flat and short. They haven’t kissed for days. Alex wears a smug, proud smirk, the one that makes her look so damn _handsome_ and leaves Sam _swooning_ even though she is lying down: “Did I get myself a second girlfriend just now?”

“ **I’m not her girlfriend!** ” Reign exclaims offended, “ **She belongs to us. She’s ours!** ”

Sam rolls her eyes at both of them, swallows heavily around her jumping heartbeat.

What did she just agree to?

Laughing, she pushes Alex off her because even though their topic is so light right now it’s too early to go back in so deep, too early after their fight: “Don’t get so full of yourself, Agent Danvers.”

Alex laughs along while she pulls Sam’s arms around herself.

Sam finally falls asleep with a lazy, content smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

It feels like hours later, but it may as well has been the very second after she closed her eyes that Sam wakes up on Krypton. Or dream Krypton or whatever.

“Great. Am I never allowed to sleep again?”

Only the light breeze answers her, and she huffs. Strangely enough she still has the faintest feeling of holding Alex in the real world. She tries to concentrate on that feeling, to slip back into _bed_ and out of _sunshine_ , closes her eyes, counts to ten but she is still on Krypton when she opens them again. She lets out another huff. Grumbling, she begins to look out for Reign, or Ruby, or Alex but she is all alone under the bright blue sky. She calls their names several times without getting an answer. Eventually, she begins to walk because what choice does she have. After a couple of minutes, the field gives way to a forest. The young trees stand wide apart, dark grass grows tall between the narrow trunks, there is a colorful dab of flowers looking like cornflowers and poppy here and there and Sam wonders if this is the nicer version of the dark forest where she first met Reign.

Groaning, she continues walking until the path curls around the bank of a small lake, twinkling in the sunshine. She spots Reign and Alex sitting on the grass at the foot of one of the few larger trees, Reign’s back against the trunk while Alex sits between her legs. They wear the same clothes as before, both facing the still water.

“Finally, I found you,” Sam says disgruntled as she approaches them.

Reign doesn’t even look at her, only the twitch of her right eyebrow gives away that she heard Sam at all. Alex on the other hand turns her head towards her, a wide smile on her face. Reign tightens her hold on Alex like she is afraid the redhead will get up. Instead, Alex holds out her hand towards Sam, silently beckoning her to join them.

“How do I get out of here? I want to sleep,” Sam says while she takes the two in.

What a strange sight. It warms her heart, nonetheless, because Reign is _soft_ and _possessive_ and Alex is so, so _sweet_ that it hurts. Reign casts her a sour glance without responding. Sam puts her hands in her hips: “Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?”

Reign narrows her eyes first at Sam then at Alex’ outstretched hand. Alex simply continues to smile sweetly at her like she doesn’t care at all about their conversation. Eventually, she curls her fingers around Sam’s wrist, though, and begins to tug her down gently.

“Are you here to undermine my superiority to this Alex, too?” Reign asks, glaring daggers at Sam.

Sam gives in to Alex’ gentle but insistent tugging and sinks down in front of them. The grass is warm. She shakes her head: “Don’t be such a wimp. I didn’t undermine anything. I made sure she likes you, too.”

Reign rests her head on Alex’ shoulder and if looks could kill, Sam would be ten times dead by now: “What is a wimp?”

Alex silently opens her arms and makes room for Sam between her legs, tugging her forward again.

“Forget it,” Sam chuckles, “Is she always this quiet?”

Alex pats the grass between her thighs, stares with wide brown eyes at Sam and an even wider smile. Sam gives in, almost instantly and readily because she is so _weak_ for this side of her girlfriend and she turns around, shuffles backwards until her head rests against Alex’ chest and Alex’ arms wrap around her shoulders.

“She is not _real_. I am sure you are aware of that,” Reign sighs.

“I guessed that much,” Sam mumbles, thinking that Alex’ arms around her feel _very_ real, just as Reign’s hands she can feel somewhere near her shoulders and the sunlight on her face.

She can still feel the lightest pressure of the _real_ Alex in her arms and this might be just the strangest sensation ever. Neither of them speaks after that and Sam thinks that no one will believe her if she ever tells someone about her love life.

Then she slips back into sleep.

* * *

 

 

The next day passes rather uneventful.

Alex must check in with the DEO and while she is gone with the Chrysler, Sam busies herself with the work that piled up during her absence at L-Corp. Alex made her swear a hundred times that she would call the very second something was strange with Reign and a hundred times more until Sam kicked her out of the house. Ruby was playing videogames downstairs while Sam sat in her small home office, trying to talk Reign out of flying after Alex to make sure that Purity doesn’t get at her again. Sam explains that Supergirl will keep an eye on Alex but that only agitates the Worldkiller more: “ **That righteous Kryptonian is no match for a Worldkiller. She is weak. Just driftwood in the eyes of a hurricane.** ”

Sam can finally calm her down by saying that after all Alex is _strong_ and _experienced_ and can look after herself. While she attempts to decide how trustworthy the share analysis for L-Corp is, she keeps wondering how awful it must have been for Reign to almost see Alex die twice. Sam always only saw her afterwards, but Reign was right there when Alex was hurting the most, her wounds fresh and her life still on the line.

When Alex rings the doorbell hours later, Sam is close to flying down the stairs.

* * *

 

 

The first time they _kiss_ , after the fight, happens in a perfectly mundane moment.

After they dropped Ruby off at school on Monday morning, Sam takes Alex to what is left of the DEO before driving to L-Corp to get more work she can do from home. Neither Sam nor Alex thinks it would be such a good idea to let Sam actually work in her office at L-Corp in case Reign witnesses any _injustice_. And the _bug_ works well enough as an excuse to stay away from L-Corp a little longer.

When Sam parks her Chrysler close to the closed off construction site of the destroyed DEO tower, Alex says: “If anything happens, if anything feels weird, you call.”

Sam grabs one of her stiff hands, squeezes slightly: “Everything feels weird right now, but I will,” Alex continues to stare at her expectantly, so Sam adds: “Promise.”

And then they both lean in at the same time.

It’s a chaste kiss after the last week, sweet and soft. But feeling Alex’ lips brush against her own again, leaves Sam instantly wanting more. She inhales sharply, leans further over the gear stick, presses her mouth against Alex a second time and a third.

It all stays rather innocent until Alex tumbles out of the car and hurries towards the intact tower with pink ears.

Until Reign says: “ **You should have taken her on the back-seat**.”

From then on, it keeps happening again and again, the pull between them is back, even stronger than before, like their fighting almost never happened.

When Alex comes home late and greets Sam with a long, deep kiss in the kitchen, Ruby pokes her head over the back of the couch shouting: “Noice!”

After Alex grabbed a beer from the fridge, something Sam buys _specifically_ for her now, she joins Ruby and they high-five after the Agent plopped down.

Sam remains pink-faced in the kitchen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Reign stays surprisingly civil most of the time and Sam wonders for whose sake: Sam’s, Alex’ or her own.

The way the Worldkiller keeps making obvious suggestive comments about the Agent makes Sam assume it is mostly for her own sake.

They adjust slowly to each other, the Worldkiller and the human.

Sam mostly talks to her in the car, when she is sure no one else can listen, or when she is home alone, taking a break from the work strewn across the small desk in the office next to her bedroom. She has just as many questions as Reign does and when they are alone they get to know each other bit by bit with each answer they share.

“ **What is Alexandra’s favorite food?** ”

“I don’t know, Reign.”

“ **What is her favorite weapon?** ”

“I don’t know. Maybe guns? I mean, everything that has happened aside I barely live six months in National City. There’s still a lot I don’t know about her either.”

“ **The most sensitive spot on her body?** ”

“Jesus, Reign!”

“ **What is a Jesus?** ”

Reign mostly asks questions about Alex and Earth customs.

Meanwhile, Sam actually tries to get closer to her because unlike the Worldkiller the brunette cannot simply take a dip into memory lane: “What did you do all the time in the forest?” Reign is more than reluctant to answer those questions but if Sam keeps asking just long and gently enough, she usually answers sooner or later:

“ **Watching you. Most of the time. You were there. There was not much else to do**.”

“What was my worst life-decision in your opinion.”

“ **The spawn.** ”

“Don’t you dare! Her name is Ruby, and you will not call her anything else.”

Reign sulked for hours after that and the nicest name she is ready to use for Ruby is _child_ and Sam can just so live with that.

While Reign watches Alex sleep in the early hours of the following morning, she coaxes Sam’s consciousness awake, mumbles: “Dating Roger Felton when you were twenty-one.” Reign pulls Alex gently closer to her, watches the steady rhythm of her chest rising and falling, presses her nose into red hair: “He was not good to you.”

Somtimes it is like playing twenty-questions with a grumpy stranger who only wants to ask and never answer and other times it is like sharing old memories with your oldest and dearest friend, leaving Sam in wonder at just how _good_ and _intimately_ Reign knows her. It's a slow process but it is the foundation for the day when Reign and Sam become the perfect union, for when they find the perfect balance between _human_ and _Kryptonian_ , between being gentle and caring and powerful and invincible.

* * *

 

 

The first time Sam _loses control_ over Reign is two days later.

Lena demands to finally get some answers, already suspecting that their fight must have revolved around something big, something severe and Sam finally gives in and invites her to dinner, tells her to bring Kara along. Sam knows that Kara already knows but they might as well make it official. Ruby is out of the house and Alex and Sam both have a long day, long conference calls with Denmark and Japan and an almost shoot-out in a big law office and barely time to change before Lena arrives with dozens of brown paper bags, all sporting the logo of a pricy sushi-restaurant.

Sam is still blow-drying her hair, so Alex opens the door: “Hey, Lena.”

To say that Lena’s smile is icy would be the understatement of the year. This is the polite, sharp business smile she reserves for men like Morgan Edge, the smile that has Alex _quivering_ in the frame. “Agent Danvers.”

The CEO brushes past sets the bags down in the kitchen, her jaw harder than stone, her green eyes burning like sulfur.

“Lena…what…” Alex mumbles behind her but she spins around, shoves a finger into the redhead’s face and she cannot help the hint of anger that creeps into her tone:

“Do not _Lena_ me. I told you if you break her heart, I will break you.”

She is seething, her protective side getting the upper hand over anything else, it always does for Sam, it always does for the handful of people Lena _cares_ about.

“And you just…!” she stabs the finger against Alex’ sternum, at a loss for words. “I don’t know _what_ you did yet, but you better have a very convincing explanation,” Lena hisses and Alex _cowers_ in front of her.

“That’s why you’re here…so we can tell you…” Alex stutters but then Sam walks into the kitchen with a confused smile on her face:

“Hey, what are you talking about?”

The atmosphere is tense in the kitchen, Alex has her back pressed up against the fridge, looking ready to hide behind Sam while Lena is clearly the reason for the redhead’s apprehension. Something twitches in Sam at how uncomfortable her girlfriend looks. Lena’s face lights up slightly, softens slightly as she turns to Sam but the gaze that flickers to Alex remains hard and judging: “I just reminded the Agent how good of a friend you are to me and how devastated I am when you get hurt.”

Sam twitches again, this time it is stronger, a ripple through her muscles, hardening and straining them.

“ **How dare she talk like that to our mate.** ”

Sam gulps, wraps her arms around herself, sends a panicked gaze to Alex who immediately picks up on the change in her demeanor.

“It wasn't her fault, Lena,” Sam says in a shaky voice, feels hot, searing rage climb up her veins.

“ **She is not just.** ”

Sam tries to breathe through Reign’s fury that drags her down further and further the higher it rises in her blood: “We can explain everything.”

Lena sends a killing glance towards Alex, exhales long through her nose, crosses her arms in front of her chest: “I am waiting because whatever it was, it must have been really bad that it made you leave Ruby for _days_.”

Her words hold so much accusation that they are pinning Alex to the fridge, pinning all the blame on the redhead. Sam holds so tight onto herself by now that her bones feel like bending under the pressure, that the anger pools fiery hot behind her eyes and she gasps: “Alex. She is angry.”

Lena narrows her eyes at Alex: “You bet I am,” whereas Alex lifts cautiously from the fridge, reaches her hands out:

“What can I do? Tell me what to do.”

“Out,” Sam chokes, bends over, curls around Reign’s wildfire emotions to keep them from spilling over, “Get me out. Backyard.”

Lena watches and listens in total confusion how the expression on her friend’s face becomes darker and darker, how Alex’ hands fly towards her, guide her gently but persistent towards the terrace door.

“What is going on?” she asks, lets her arms drop, takes a step forward to follow them outside because Sam looks terrifying and livid and it is scary. Alex turns towards her, her face stoic and commanding, her _Agent_ face that normally does a thing or two to Lena when it is not directed at her:

“Stay here! Whatever you see, don’t come outside!”

“But…”

“Don’t!” Alex repeats without allowing for any further chance to argue before her attention snaps back to Sam who slumps in her embrace, clinging to her, whimpering:

“Alex…”

Then they are out in the garden, the glass of the door shudders, so tight does Alex pull it shut and Lena must watch how Sam tumbles into the damp grass on all fours, bowing her spine, cradling her head. Next, Alex is by her side, rubs circles on her back, whispers something over and over again and Lena is seized by a terrible panic. This is something else entirely than what she expected. The way Sam presses further and further into the cold, wet ground, trembling all over, simultaneously hanging onto Alex and pushing her away looks nothing like a broken heart. It looks so much _worse_. Like a seizure.

Lena wonders how bad her condition became in the last couple of weeks and how it was possible that it slipped from all their minds even amidst all the chaos.

Suddenly, Sam’s whole demeanor changes in the blink of an eye and has Lena jumping behind the closed door.

Sam springs up so fast that she knocks Alex over, turns towards the house and Lena stifles a gasp behind her hand because she has never seen her friend like this. She looks like she wants to _murder_ Lena and she takes two long strides towards the house before Alex is onto her, wraps her arms around Sam’s trembling shoulders and Lena shudders because of how much effort the Agent must put into restraining her.

“Let go!” Sam roars, sounding nothing like Sam at all and then tears spring to Lena’s emerald eyes because she knows that cold, contorted voice.

“No!” Alex grunts, wrestling Sam backwards, “You must calm down. Calm down! She’s not an enemy!”

Sam grinds her teeth, tenses her muscles further and she is so much taller than Alex that she could easily flip the Agent over her shoulder.

“She must be disciplined! No one talks like that to you!”

It’s Alex in the end who flips them over, forcing Sam’s body back into the grass, keeping her there with a hold she probably normally uses on criminals instead of her girlfriend: “You can’t murder everyone who looks at me the wrong way. Get a grip! Come on!” Alex pants, red in the face from fighting to keep Sam still.

Sam trashes under her, roars: “Watch me!”

Blazing fast, Alex changes her grip, grinds a knee between Sam’s shoulder blades: “Sam! Sam can you hear me? You must snap her out of it!”

Lena’s tears spill over as she watches the two rolling around in the grass until finally Sam goes very still before she curls into a tight ball. Alex lies on her back, pushes a hand through her hair, gulps down the fresh February air. Then she crawls over to Sam who jerks at the first touch but quickly throws her arms around the redhead and from her shaking shoulders, Lena knows that she is crying.

Tentatively, Lena opens the terrace door and steps outside. Alex whispers soothing sounds into Sam’s hair: “It’s ok. She calmed down. It’s ok. You’re ok.”

Sam just clings tighter to her, muffles her sobs in Alex’ shoulder and cries until the Agent’s shirt turns dark around the collar. Lena gulps: “What the _hell_ was that?”

They both look horrible, covered in mud and patches of grass, there is sweat glistening on Alex’ forehead and a tear in Sam’s sweater and they seem almost as shocked as Lena feels. Sam lifts her head, turns half-way around and mumbles through her tears: “I’m Reign.”

Alex stares down at her with a heated gaze: “You _know_ you’re not.”

Sam furiously wipes at her tears: “It’s easier to say it like that without going too much into detail.”

“That’s not possible,” Lena exclaims watching them with wide eyes.

Sam stands up slowly, helps Alex up, too and they say almost in unison: “Pretty sure.” – “I checked.”

Left completely speechless, Lena is flailing her hands widely at them, at their calm because, _Jesus Christ_ , they should be freaking out.

“Are you crazy?!” she shouts as they return to the house, with Alex keeping a safe distance from Lena. “Why didn’t you tell the DEO? Or Supergirl?”

Alex stops dead in her tracks: “You know about the DEO?”

Lena rests her head in her right hand, steps back into the living room to let them through the door: “That’s the thing you want to talk about right now? Seriously?” With a long sigh, Sam sits down on the couch and Alex puts a blanket around her shoulders and then her arms, still staring at Lena to make her go on. The millionaire shakes her head in disbelief: “Of course, I know you’re DEO, Alex. My mother is DEO suspect number one.”

“Fair enough,” the redhead admits as she rubs Sam’s shoulders.

“It’s all really complicated, Lena,” Sam mumbles.

Lena presses her lips together tightly, crosses her arms over her chest and sits in the armchair next to the TV: “Try me. People tell me I’m a genius.”

Alex checks her phone, looks a little uncomfortable and a little hopeful at Lena: “Can you wait ten more minutes? Kara should be here by then.”

Lena rolls her eyes: “Fine. But hurry.”

“We’ll just change into something dry,” Sam says with a thankful expression.

“You will spill everything,” Lena warns them before they disappear upstairs.

Ten minutes later the doorbell rings, and Lena gets up, relieved that Kara is here now, relieved that she will have someone by her side to talk sense into her two friends. They clearly are out of their minds. Kara stares at her in surprise when she opens the door: “Lena? Where is Sam? And Alex?”

Lena steps aside, a mix of fear, confusion and displeasure on her face: “Come on in. They should come down any minute.”

“What happened? You look like you saw a ghost.”

They pass the hall and Lena’s gaze softens when she spots Alex and Sam in the kitchen. Sam holds a bottle of wine in hand while Alex rubs at a particular stubborn smudge on her cheek. “Try Worldkiller,” Lena mumbles.

By the time Sam and Alex finished their _disastrous_ explanation, the second bottle of wine is empty, and Lena might have had the most of them and there is a pleasant buzz running through her.

“You really don’t want to split?”

Sam shakes her head slightly that rests on Alex’ shoulder. The two sit on the couch again and Lena in the armchair and Kara, uncharacteristically quiet, in one of the chairs from the dining room table.

“She agreed to help with the other Worldkillers and I…,” she briefly looks at Alex with a small smile, “We know that she is different from them. She’s not a monster but no one ever showed her how to be something else.”

Kara clears her throat, twirls her half-empty glass between her fingers: “You _do_ know, though, that something like today cannot happen again. What if Alex is not around the next time? What if you cannot control her anymore?”

Sam curls tighter into Alex, grimaces: “It’s not like I haven’t thought about that.” She pushes a hand through her long hair, places her feet back onto the ground: “And I know that I cannot rely on Alex every time.”

Alex instantly sits up straighter next to her, instantly protesting but Sam looks at her with shining eyes: “You cannot always be around. Not _always_.”

“Yeah,” Lena slurs, “What happens when you have an accident with your Ducati? Will Reign set it on fire then?”

Alex stares at her wide-eyed: “Don’t say that. She would totally do that.”

Kara sets her wine glass more firmly than necessary on the coffee table: “Can we get back to the point? Sam, you need safety precautions. And not only for yourself.”

Sam nods and pours herself another glass: “I know.” She takes a long sip: “What do you have in mind?”

Kara doesn’t meet her eyes, or Alex’, as she mutters her next words: “Reign is Kryptonian, so I would say Kryptonite.”

Sam lets out a long shaky breath, Lena’s gasp comes out as a hiccup and Alex hisses: “You can’t be serious.”

Kara’s expression darkens, she opens her mouth to say something but then they all stare at Lena who got up from her chair: “I promise, Sammy, I’ll drive to my lab tomorrow and I won’t leave until I find a way to knock that bitch out.” Then she stumbles forward and into Sam’s lap, so that Alex must shift a little and then Lena is the one who is knocked out.

Alex puts the CEO’s legs on the couch after she stood up: “I guess we should call it a night. I’m gonna get the covers from the guestroom.”

That leaves Kara and Sam alone in loaded silence that only gets disturbed by an occasional snore.

“I don’t know what has gotten into Alex, but I don’t trust Reign. Especially after what you said about earlier.”

Sam shifts Lena in her lap until the millionaire’s head rests on her thighs: “This is not easy for me, either, Kara.” Carefully, as not to disturb her sleeping friend, she pushes some stray hair out of Lena’s flushed face: “You think I could live with myself if Reign _hurt_ Lena? Or someone else? If she laid a finger on you, or Alex, or Ruby?”

Kara adjusts her glasses, guilt flashing across her face: “No…I…”

“I told Reign I will kill myself, if she ever hurts someone else again,” Sam says, without looking at Kara, but the blonde can sense how serious she is:

“Sam…that can’t be…”

The brunette shrugs: “That’s the only safety precaution I have so far.”

“That can’t be it,” Kara hisses, “You cannot just _leave_ Alex and Ruby alone.”

Sam squares her shoulders, looks determined and her gaze is unwavering: “I rather leave them with each other than endangering them.” She takes a long breath: “And if Kryptonite can help, so I am not forced to do that, then so be it.”

Kara adjusts her glasses again, presses her sweaty palms against her thighs.

“Will it help?” Sam asks, and Kara jumps in her chair because why does Sam peer at her like that and how should she know, she’s _Kara_ not _Supergirl_ and then the brunette adds: “You must know how it feels. What effect it has. Supergirl.”

Kara gulps, nervously adjusts her glasses a third time: “Supergirl? What are you-“

Sam tilts her head, deadpans: “Come on, Kara. I know you are _different_ when you are Supergirl, but the glasses and the ponytail are not the most effective disguise.”

Kara lets out a high-pitched awkward laugh: “Me? Supergirl?” she snorts, “I wish-“

Sam cuts her off: “You have the same scar at the exact same spot on your forehead,” and Kara’s laughter dies away.

Two seconds later, Alex walks back into the living room, arms loaded with the covers and a pillow. She peeks over the pillow with furrowed brows: “Why is it so quiet in here that I can hear my hair grow?”

Kara nods her head towards Sam in mild embarrassment. “She _knows_.”

Alex squints her eyes: “She _knows_?”

Sam draws an ‘S’ on her chest with her right index finger: “I _know_.”

“Oh,” Alex breathes and sets the covers down on the coffee table.

“Maybe it’s not that bad,” Kara mumbles, “I really want to help you guys with Reign. I want to understand it…I really, really want to give Reign that chance, too.” She stands up, pushes her hands in her hips and stares with such a _soft_ gaze at Lena that Sam and Alex share a knowing glance: “But not at the expanse of the people I love. We must find a way to keep Reign at bay. Fast.”

“We will,” Alex says determined, “Lena and I run some tests, we will come up with something.”

Kara nods: “I will think about something, too.”

Carefully, Sam extracts herself from under Lena and takes a tentative step towards Kara. “Thank you.” Then she holds her arms out, they hang a little awkward in mid-air and she mumbles: “Is it ok to…”

Kara hugs her before Sam can finish the sentence. They let Lena sleep the sleep of the just while they say good-by to Kara in the garden.

Only when they finally lie in bed, Alex asks: “How are you?”  

Sam still looks a little shaken, wraps herself tightly around the redhead: “It was so scary. She was so angry,” she mumbles.

Alex strokes her cheek affectionately and Sam inhales a shuddering breath: “You have no idea how _angry_ she was.”

“But you remained in control. I could feel it. You are _so_ much stronger than you think,” Alex whispers reassuringly but Sam shakes her head.

“I was only able to do that because of you. If you hadn’t been there, I…” She swallows thickly: “I don’t even want to think about it.”

Alex pulls her closer, presses a light kiss against her forehead: “We will think of something.”

Sam urges herself to believe her girlfriend while she counts the beats of Alex’ heart.

After of couple of minutes, Alex asks hesitantly: “And how is Reign? Did she say something?”

“No,” Sam sighs heavily, “She shut me out. I have no clue.”

Alex hums against her hair: “If she listens, tell her I’m not giving up on her. We will find a way to make this work.”

“I hope so,” Sam yawns. The three of them really should have a _long_ talk in the near future.

* * *

 

 

The first time they _fuck,_ after the fight, happens on Sunday the same week.

Alex spend the better half of Saturday and all of Sunday at the DEO because Coville’s cultists crawled back out of their holes, strangely now trying to draw the attention of the Worldkillers instead of Supergirl’s and the DEO was on constant edge to keep the delusional humans from accidentally killing themselves. They caught the last of them somewhere between the suburbs and the city center and Alex was so ready to call it a night that she immediately drove to Sam instead of taking the detour over the DEO.

When she opens the front door with her own key, she smells of gunpowder and sweat and is still in her tactical gear. She only takes the boots off before she quietly pads into the living room, wondering if Sam is still awake. Sam sits on the couch, reading and eating some peanuts when she hears the front door close but the cheerful greeting dies on her lips, the second Alex steps into the living room.

Alex in her tactical gear just might be the _hottest_ thing she has ever seen, and her mouth becomes dry and she doesn’t even notice how she tears and crumbles the book in her hand.

“Hey, gorgeous. I’m so glad to be home. How are you?”

Wordlessly, Sam stands up, lets her eyes rake over her girlfriend’s breathtaking body. Over the _unfairly_ tight pants, the _heavy_ tool belt, the somehow _exciting_ vest that hangs open, revealing the black long-sleeve underneath that clings to Alex’ chest in all the _right_ places and the high, open collar that gives Sam a _perfect_ view of Alex’ neck that is covered in a thin sheet of sweat.

“Sam?” Alex asks with raised eyebrows.

Sam gulps, feels her own desire shooting through her blood, feels _Reign’s_ close behind and it’s just too much at once: “Hot,” she gulps. “So hot.”

“ **So fine** ,” Reign rumbles, deep and throaty in her mind.

Neither of them can keep it together for long and then Sam is onto Alex like a storm. She is yanking her forward by the vest, crashes their lips together, hungry and feverish. It only takes Alex the fraction of a second to respond then she tangles her hands in long, brown tresses, grips Sam’s hips hard. Sam shoves her tongue into Alex’ hot mouth, shivers at the sensation when they meet.

Alex tries to control their pace, to set the rhythm but Sam doesn’t give her anything, seizes all the control with her lips and hands, guides Alex roughly to the couch, shoves her forcefully into the cushions. Alex gets out some weak protest of “I’m disgusting,” but Sam climbs on top of her, rests her knees left and right of Alex’ hips, that lift regardless of her words, presses her hands onto the redhead’s chest to push her further down.

Sam and Reign say at the same time: “Stop talking.”

Then Sam leans down to kiss her again, tugs with her teeth at Alex’ bottom lip, rolls her hips into Alex’ pelvis, so hard that the redhead moans against her tongue. With flying hands, Sam pushes the vest aside, pushes under the soaked shirt, rakes her nails over Alex’ jumping stomach: “You must be quiet. Ruby is sleeping upstairs,” she growls against Alex’ trembling lips.

Alex bites her lip hard, nods her head vigorously but groans nonetheless when Sam pushes her nails further into Alex’ skin and leaves five red, angry marks on her abs.

“Can you be _quiet_ for me, baby?” Sam husks, “Will you be _good_?”

Alex’ expression is almost painful with need and longing when she quickly clasps a hand over her own mouth.

“ **Look at her** ,” Reign rumbles and the Worldkiller’s desire makes Sam tremble, “ **She is so ready**.”

Alex’ free hand buries in Sam’s shirt, right above her shoulder, her fingers closing and opening helplessly.

“ **Take her,** ” Reign commands and Sam doesn’t have to be told twice.

She shifts on top of Alex, so she can slip the belt from around her waist and when Alex’ lifts her hips and they meet in a sudden, frantic collision Sam has a hard time keeping quiet herself. After the belt drops next to the couch, Sam yanks Alex’ pants down, right along with her underwear, stands up briefly to rip both clothes completely down her girlfriend’s shaking legs, to drop them just as carelessly next to the belt. Then she pulls down her own sweats and panties and resettles on top of Alex who stares at her with eyes gone _black_ from desire.

She buries a hand in messy, red locks, tugs hard on them, runs her tongue over the salty sweat that collected on Alex’ neck and rams her hips down and Alex is _whimpering_. Sam can feel Alex’ wet heat against her own and with each thrust of her hips, Sam knows, Sam _feels_ , that she hits Alex’ clit with the most _fleeting_ pressure and the whimpers become _higher_ and _higher_.

Alex’ hand glides from her shoulder down to her ass, squeezes the soft flesh, urging Sam’s hips down with even more force and her eyes are squeezed shut tight, tight, tight.

“ **She is begging for it** ,” Reign groans and Sam loses control over her desire and need to feel Alex, to see her come undone.

She shuffles a bit to have more room between the redhead’s legs that fall open for her the instant she begins to travel her hand down. Sam bites hard into her own bottom lip when she feels how wet Alex is for her and she cannot help herself but to run her fingers through her folds. Alex is thrashing under her, jerks her hips upwards to have Sam where she needs her the most.

Sam stares long and hard at her, stills her fingers, just shy of entering Alex’ dripping heat: “Don’t move.”

Alex cannot hold it together anymore, lets the hand on her mouth fall to the side and pants: “Please, Sam…Please _fuck_ me.”

At the rush of sheer _power_ that surges through Sam, she almost gives in because Alex’ face is flushed, her chest is heaving, and she looks so close to falling apart but Reign whispers in her head: “ **Make her beg, Samantha. Maker her beg for it.** ”

And the combination of it all finally pushes Sam over the edge. She presses one hand against Alex’ mouth, the same moment that she shoves two fingers deep, deep inside and she can _feel_ Alex cry out against her palm. With one hand on Alex’ mouth and the other working between her legs, Sam has nothing to support her weight anymore, it rests fully on Alex’ chest, keeps her in place and they are so close that Sam can feel her girlfriend’s stiff nipples even through both their shirts.

Sam uses her hips to push her fingers deeper into Alex with each thrust, she’s panting against Alex’ ear and gets drunk on the noises that are smothered by her hand.

Then Alex lifts her legs, wraps her calves around Sam’s waist, digs her heels into the small of Sam’s back and Sam can pump into her even _harder_ can go even _deeper_.

Alex’ whole body begins to tighten around her, her walls clenching around her fingers and at the next hard thrust Sam curls her fingers and Alex is _screaming_ when she comes.

For a couple of minutes, only their heavy breathing fills the air while they both try to come down from what just happened and after Sam retreated both her hands. Later, Sam will get up and lock Alex’ tactical gear in the tool cabinet in the garage, will put their clothes into a hamper. And even later Reign will carry a completely exhausted Alex to bed.

“Was that your idea?” Alex will mumble weakly and Reign will answer her:

“That was all Samantha. I might have urged her on a bit, though.”

* * *

 

 

The first time they make _love_ after the fight happens almost a week later.

During the week, Sam was at Lena’s lab at L-Corp almost every day. Just like she promised, Lena worked constantly to find a way to regain control over Reign if she lashed out the next time. Alex was there as often as she could, but the DEO had its hands full and after the first couple of tests, she could be by Sam’s and Reign’s side less and less.

Reign loathed Lena’s lab and the tests and the prodding and she was _insufferable_. There is some kind of cell in the lab, with a bed someone could be strapped to and a barrier that maintained even Supergirl’s heat-gaze and Alex disliked it almost as much as Reign the whole room.

“Is this really necessary?” Alex mumbled.

“Better safe,” Lena said and tightened the straps around Sam’s wrists, “Than sorry.”

The Agent played nervously with Sam’s fingers, couldn’t meet her eyes until Sam softly said: “It will be alright, baby.”

Alex held on tight to Sam’s hand, said with a determined face: “I’ll stay right here.”

“Alex, I’m not sure that is such a good idea,” Lena tried to argue gently.

Alex didn’t even look at her, tucked a lock behind her girlfriend’s ear instead and said: “Put the barrier up and start your tests.”

Sam gave her a brief nod and then Lena stepped out of the holding area, put the barrier up and said: “Ready if you are.”

Alex cupped Sam’s face with both hands, rested their foreheads against each other and Sam’s eyelids fluttered and then suddenly the restraints _bulged_ and _creaked_. While Lena performed her tests as fast as she could, she couldn’t help but to listen to Reign’s curses and Alex’ soft implorations.

Later in the week, when Alex was stuck at the DEO, Lena double and triple checked the barrier before telling Sam it was ok to let Reign come forth. In the matter of two days, Lena found out that Sam’s whole DNA is overwritten when the Worldkiller takes control and that some strange, obscure enzyme is responsible for it. By the end of the week, she admitted to Alex and Supergirl that she is able to synthesize Kryptonite. Supergirl was furious but even she had to accept that Kryptonite was the logical and probably only choice they had. She still couldn’t be in the same room with the poisonous substance and left before Lena could explain her solution.

The inhibitor bracelets look like they are made of silver, rather thin, rather tight and Sam thought they actually looked pretty. The idea is that they will release a certain amount of Kryptonite right into Sam’s bloodstream to knock Reign out. All Sam must do is press her thumb on the right spot on the bracelets with the right amount of pressure. The only problem was that Lena wasn’t sure about the right dose, yet. It had to be enough to make Reign surrender, but Lena wanted to spare Sam any unnecessary pain.

Alex stepped into the lab the moment, Lena put the barrier up and fiddled uncertainly with the remote fuse for the bracelets. “Hey, what are you doing?” Alex asked and came to a halt next to Lena, torn between staying long enough to listen to the CEO’s explanation and entering the cell to be by Sam’s side.

“The Kryptonite dose,” Sam piped up, looking way too relaxed and calm for her current situation. “Or we try to because Reign refuses to show.”

Alex looked at Sam with raised eyebrows. Sam shrugged as best as she could: “She is not a fan of Lena and _pretty_ stubborn.”

Alex sighed: “Let me talk to her.”

But suddenly Lena grabbed her wrist: “She _hates_ me, right?”

Sam furrowed her brows, tilted her head: “I…uh…wouldn’t say it like that but she definitely doesn’t like you.”

Lena took a deep breath and squared her shoulders: “I’m sorry, Sam.”

Alex stared at her puzzled: “Lena, what a-“ She didn’t get very far because the next second, Lena grabbed her roughly by the collar of her shirt and pressed her lips against Alex’. Alex went as stiff as a board, completely froze up and Reign _exploded_ in the cell, tore through the restrains like they were strings and made the barrier shudder and shake under the force of her punches and heat-gaze. Then Lena pushed slightly against Alex’ chest, turned half-way around and punched the remote.

The next moment, the veins on Reign’s arms glowed in acrid green, her face contorted into a grimace of pain and she crumbled to the floor, withering in agony. In an instant, Alex was on her knees right at the other side of the barrier, pressed her hands against the blue sheen, said in a voice that pretended to be calm: “It’s ok. It’s ok. I’m _so_ sorry, Reign.”

Reign’s back arched, she ground her teeth while she reached a hand out to Alex.

“Lift it,” the redhead ordered without tearing her eyes away from the Worldkiller.

“We must wait until we can determine that the dose is high enough,” Lena said around a lump in her throat because the effect of Kryptonite is simply too _awful,_ and Reign just looks _too_ much like Sam.

Alex pounded her fist against the barrier, her voice thick: “Lift it!”

Lena couldn’t say for whom Alex’ heart broke more:  Sam or Reign. When Reign’s body began to shake less violently, more twitches than painful spasms, Lena understood that something deeper runs between the Agent and the Worldkiller. Something connects them that has _nothing_ to do with Sam. Her heart clenched because she knows what it feels like to watch someone you _care deeply_ about get hurt by Kryptonite. With a single swipe on the tablet, Lena lifted the barrier and watched with a tight expression how Alex reached forward and gathered Sam’s limp body in her arms.

“Sam? Reign?” She gently stroked Sam’s cheek, pushed hair out of her face and murmured words of sweet nothing, of being sorry and being ok.

Eventually Sam curled her body into Alex, crinkled her brows and said dryly: “Never do that again, Lena.”

“Promise,” Lena said.

* * *

 

 

The week drags on like that.

Lena works on the finish touches of the bracelets, Alex is mostly stuck at work whereas Sam gets everything done she can get done from home. On Saturday of all days, when Alex got a well-deserved day off, Sam had to attend a conference call with Lena at L-Corp. They had to negotiate new contracts with an oversea supplier and with Alex on speed-dial and Lena equipped with a remote for the bracelets, Sam felt confident enough to make it through the conference.

Meanwhile, Alex knocked gently on Ruby’s bedroom door with a nervous, pleading grin on her face: “Care to help me dye my hair?”

Ruby’s eyes lit up and she quickly ditched her book to follow the Agent into the bathroom. Ten minutes later, half of Alex’ hair was covered in deep red dye and Ruby screwed up her nose: “In the DEO. When the tower fell. That was a close call, right?”

Alex searched her face in the mirror above the sink that is deep in thought, looking way to grown-up for a twelve-year-old: “What makes you wanna talk about it now?”

Alex had talked with Sam about how dangerous her job can be at times, but Ruby hadn’t voiced any deep concern the two times Alex barely cheated death and simply had hugged her tight. It seemed like a weird moment to have this conversation and Alex’ hands became clammy because Sam was not by her side. Instead of serious, hard questions, Ruby plucked at some of Alex’ hair: “You still have singed spots,”

“What? Really?” Alex exclaimed hands flying into her hair.

Ruby snickered: “I can’t believe mom didn’t see them.”

The very moment Alex set the blow-dryer down and Ruby admired the one, burgundy red lock in her own hair, the two left the house to head to the city center. Alex parked her Ducati in front of a mixed-race barber shop in one of the less fancy parts of town. The shop is run partly by humans and partly by aliens and although Alex stopped by in the past to check on the aliens and how well they integrated, she stayed for the haircuts. Her face is well known, and she earned suspicious glances as she entered with Ruby, but no one dared to say anything.

Once Alex sat in a faded red leather chair, the teenager excitedly launched into various ideas for a new haircut, showed the barber pictures on her phone and tugged at Alex’ hair. In the end, Rufus barely cut anything at all, but the effect was astounding.

The hair above her ears on both sides is so short that it is just enough to scratch your nails through it, higher up on her left side it is just enough to tug on and on the right side it still falls in a wave almost to her chin. Ruby squealed next to her when Rufus announced he is finished and Alex was left a little speechless because her hair looks so _different_ and she looks so _different_ but somehow, she felt _right_.

“Can we send a picture to mom? She’s gonna love it!”

Alex spun around in her chair, fast, stiffened because God what if Sam _doesn’t_ like it and put her hands up: “Can we not? I want it to be a surprise.”

Or maybe she wanted to see the reaction on her girlfriend’s face just to make sure that Sam really likes or dislikes the cut. Ruby shrugged and when Alex got up to pay, the teenager exited the shop to chat with one of the barbers outside. Rufus stared at her with raised, bushy eyebrows: “Nice kid you got there.”

Alex scratched the back of her head nervously: “She’s not mine. Not _really_.”

The alien handed her the change and his thin, white lips quirked up in an amused smile: “My bad. You could have fooled me.”

Alex stalked out of the barber shop with a bright red face.

Later that evening, Alex became more and more nervous about Sam’s reaction. She had sat with Ruby on the couch and watched the ending of the third heist movie in a row with the teenager fast asleep when suddenly she heard the jingle of keys in the hall. Quietly, she slipped from the couch and walked into the hall where Sam just appeared lowly muttering to herself: “No, you _cannot_ threaten to heat-gaze everyone to ashes who does not agree with my financing plan.”

Sam didn’t notice Alex in the shadows until she switched the light on and stepped out of her heels. “God, your ego is bigger than…“ Sam grumbled before her eyes landed on Alex and the next words got stuck in her throat. Her pupils dilated until her eyes were more black than amber, her bag dropped to the floor and her mouth opened and closed without a sound.

Alex got self-consciousness, pulled a bit at the ends of the longer hair on the right, shoved her hands in the pockets of her pants: “Do you like it?”

Sam came closer, ran both her hands through freshly-colored, bright tresses, brushed her fingertips over the soft hair above Alex’ ears before she scratched it lightly, making Alex hum under her touch: “Look at your hair,” she whispered, low and throaty and Alex felt safe enough to rest her own hands on Sam’s hips.

“Yeah, what do you say?”

Sam grinned unabashed, ran her fingers over the shaved parts again and again: “I love it.”

Then she stepped even closer until her hip pressed down into Alex and her elbows came to rest on Alex’ shoulders and she rested her palm against the apex of Alex’ neck, curled her fingers upwards, tugged lightly: “You look incredibly hot.”

Alex dipped her head down, ran her nose from the slope of Sam’s shoulder upwards to her ear and groaned: “Ruby is asleep on the couch.”

She tightened her hold on Sam’s waist, slipped her hands under her blazer and blouse, pressed her palms into the soft, warm flesh and Sam arched into her. Alex backed her up the stairs, already sucking and nibbling on her neck and when they reached the landing Sam’s back hit the wall and Alex’ mouth was on hers, _hot_ and _eager_. It took all of Sam’s willpower to push the redhead away ten minutes later, to return downstairs and take her daughter to bed because her knees were made of jelly and her heart beat too fast and even Reign was downright _swooning_.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, February quietly slips into March and Alex slowly and reluctantly drifts awake, peacefully wrapped up in the warmth of the covers and the body next to her.

She has her left arm wrapped around Sam from behind, the other pushed under the pillow and her nose is pressed against the back of Sam’s neck where her scent pooled and gathered _sweet_ and _heavy_ through the night. Alex grimaces slightly, unwilling to wake up yet, trying to push herself back down into blissful sleep. The warmth is too pleasant, the feeling of Sam’s body so perfectly molded against her own is too pleasant and there is _nothing_ that can make her get up.

She blocks out every coherent thought that dares to manifest itself, concentrates on _feeling_ instead. How incredible _soft_ the skin beneath Sam’s hairline is that is millimeters away from her own lips because Sam always ties her hair up for the night. The hypnotic rhythm of her breathing, the _rise_ and _fall_ of her stomach against the palm of Alex’ hand, the perfect curve of her ass that is pressed into Alex’ front. Alex tries to take it all in without opening her eyes, lets all the sensations sink into her until all she can feel, and sense and smell is _Sam_.

The last three weeks have been such a whirlwind, a whirlwind in the storm that has been her past _year_ and Alex wants nothing more than to fall deeper and deeper and _rest_ in this peace for a little longer.

Suddenly, Sam shifts in her sleep, slides her hip backwards, pushes her back through and Alex cannot contain the low gasp that tumbles from her lips. Involuntarily, she tightens her hold on the brunette pushes her palm flat against Sam’s navel, her fingers splayed against the curve of her rips. Under her hand, Alex can feel her girlfriend’s heartbeat pick up speed, just the tiniest bit, just enough that Alex knows she is waking up.

Alex lets out a long, steady breath through her nose and Sam breathes a content moan into her pillow. It makes Alex’ ears tingle and her heart swell and she smiles against Sam’s skin. Slow and languid, her fingers brush over Sam’s sternum, glide over the rise of her ribs only to follow the downwards curve to her waist. Alex repeats the motion, back and forth, without any hectic, sometimes it’s not more than a brush of her fingertips, sometimes a light scratch of her short nails.

Sam quietly stretches and shifts under her touch but never retreats, only ever slides further back, further into Alex. Then Alex feels the end of her girlfriend’s spine bump against her nose and she begins to drop feather light kisses on her neck. Sam’s voice is hoarse and deep from sleep and the redhead revels in the noises she can draw out of her, the _moans_ and _hums_ and _whines_.

With each brush of Alex’ lips against beautifully tanned skin, Sam begins to move more and more until she glides her fingers over the knuckles of Alex’ hand, dips the tips between the space of Alex’ fingers and pushes upwards until the Agent can feel the warm swell of her breasts. Then Sam lets her hand fall back, pushes her palm down and back across Alex’ forearm. When Alex palms one of her breasts, another small groan escapes Sam and its nothing but music in the redhead’s ears.

And although desire sparks in her for a second, hot and wild, her movements remain _slow_ and _lazy_ because for once there is no need to rush because everything is _steady_ and _calm_. Alex can feel heat collecting slowly between her legs, the most bittersweet tug in her abdomen, telling her to get closer and closer to Sam. With one of her arms and legs, Alex eventually turns Sam around, on her back, while she herself rests her weight on her elbows, effectively capturing the brunette under her. Alex stares at her with calm and gentle eyes left speechless and breathless because that is what Sam looks like right now, absolutely _breathtaking._

Even with slightly puffy eyes and stray locks that escaped her bun and that are stuck in her face or maybe exactly _because_ of that Alex stares and stares in absolute wonder. A wide-stretched smile, one that shows the fine lines around her mouth and makes her eyes twinkle, blossoms on Sam’s face and her eyelids flutter: “Morning gorgeous.”

Alex dips low, presses her lips sweet but long against Sam’s, sighing from feeling so comfortable and happy and _loved_ : “Morning.”

Then Sam lifts her arms in slow-motion curls her fingers into Alex’ short hair pushes and pushes her chin upwards until she can almost taste Alex again. Alex follows her silent call, answers it with care and with being gentle and each kiss becomes _longer_ and _deeper._ They still take their time, are lazy and half-asleep but Alex feels so many intense emotions bubbling up in her that Sam is the only thing keeping her from floating away.

Then one of her hands is back on Sam’s naked skin, lifts her loose shirt on its way upward until it bunches up around the brunette’s neck, while they keep kissing open-mouthed and careless and it’s too _nice_ to be real. Slow but steady a hungry need settles into Alex’ stomach, the need to be closer, to taste more, to touch more grows and grows until she fully rolls on top of Sam.

The covers end up somewhere around her knees and Alex kisses the goosebumps on Sam’s arms thinking that she has her own ways of keeping the brunette warm in the cool morning air. When she guides herself down onto her body, against her lips, into her arms, Alex knows that Sam is able to feel how wet she already is even through her boxer-shorts. How she is _dripping_ just from kissing. Then again Sam has the extraordinary talent of working Alex up without touching her at all.

Suddenly, she lifts Alex’ top until she can discard it somewhere on the floor, pushes her fingers between the rippling muscles on the redhead's back, holds onto the strength burried in these shoulders, draws maps to foreign contries between her lover's shoulder blades. Alex guides Sam’s body upwards until she sits in the redhead’s lap and her shirt joins Alex’ top. Then they are face to face and chest to chest and Alex is swept away by her growing hunger and desire because the cold of Sam's bracelets sends a shiver down her spine and when she jerks forward slightly, she feels Sam's nipples grow stiff against her own.

Their lips meet properly now, still slow but with purpose and when Alex flicks her tongue out, Sam welcomes her immediately, _ready_ and _waiting_. Smirking in the way that makes Sam forget to breathe, Alex pushes forward until Sam’s back bounces off the mattress two times before she is being pressed into it by the redhead.  Only for _her_ does Sam obey like this, only for _her_ does Sam get excited from the weight on her body that makes it hard to move and only for _her_ does Sam give up control like this, does Sam _surrender_.

Alex kisses a wet path from Sam’s neck down to her collarbone, her breasts, her navel while she pulls the waistband of Sam’s pajama-pants over her hipbones and ass and past her knees. When Sam’s familiar scent hits her, Alex mouth waters and she will not be able to remember later how she has been able to pull herself together for only one second longer. Because she takes her time with her mouth to leave marks in the soft skin on the inside of Sam’s thighs, takes her time to kiss all the spots between Sam’s legs except the one where she is needed most. She wants to relish every second of this morning until Sam cannot take it any longer, wants to _worship_ her and _love_ her.

The longer Alex refuses to give into Sam, the wetter does Sam become and her whole body begins to tingle and vibrate with simultaneously anticipation and frustration. Eventually, her hips begin to jerk, a hand finds its way into Alex’ hair and Alex pauses for a handful of short, hard breaths because of how close to _falling_ Sam is, how close to pleading and begging and then the Agent finally gives in. Her own desire to taste Sam makes it impossible to hold out for one more moment.

Her lips close around Sam’s clit, her tongue dives so deep into her that Alex gets drunk on her taste and Sam’s body tightens, her muscles flex, her chest heaves and Alex cannot distinguish anymore between _praise_ or _curses_ that spill from her lips. Alex never gets tired of tasting Sam like this of _feeling_ her like this and when the walls tighten around Alex’ tongue she almost has to stop because it is too much to take. She is _so_ ready herself, _so_ sensitive and Sam's low moans, her salty wetness that is smeared across half of Alex' face, the way her fingers hold _so_ tight onto Alex' hair, it's all sending Alex into an overstimulated overdrive. Makes her blind for anything that isn't the entrancing woman beneath her.

When Sam comes, and she comes _hard_ , she is only a quiet, stuttering gasp, almost a sob but her body reacts with the force she does not allow her voice to express. Her back arches so much that Alex struggles to keep her still, one hand tries to hold onto anything while the other buries so deep in Alex’ hair that she will feel it for the rest of the day. The second Sam is able to open her eyes again, she pulls Alex upward and kisses the remains of her wetness right off her girlfriend’s lips.

 

* * *

 

 

In the evening, Kara and Lena come over for dinner again and this time it is the blonde who is a little early. The two sit on the couch, watching Ruby and Alex set the table when suddenly Kara clears her throat: “I think it is time to test Reign’s alliance.”

After their marvelous morning with Alex, Reign was content enough to keep quiet for most of the day and even now Sam cannot get a hold on her. Catching _Reign_ is like catching _smoke_ and although Sam feels her at the edge of her consciousness the Worldkiller remains always just out of reach.

She crinkles her brows: “What do you mean?”

Kara casts a quick glance at Alex and Ruby who debate at which side of the plate the water glass should be placed and there are worry and doubt in her features before she looks back at Sam with determination: “I think we should introduce Reign to the DEO.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry again for the (even longer) delay and that this chapter is kinda filler.  
> I promise the plot will continue next chapter.  
> Of course, I hope that you still like it and had fun with Reign's completely unnecessary comments. :)  
> Tell me what you think and share your thoughts with me down below and leave me some lovely Kudos, cryptic smileys or sweet comments or criticism.


	15. Alex/Sam/Reign/Kara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the DEO treat Reign?  
> What will Ruby say when she finds out?  
> What happens when Reign must face her sisters again and what is Coville up to?
> 
> Read on and find out in ch 15!  
> (The Kryptonese was provided by: http://kryptonian.info/doyle/dictionary.html)

* * *

They are about to put the last dishes away, way after dinner, way after Kara and Lena left when Alex says bewildered: “She really wants to take Reign to the DEO this early?”

Sam fiddles nervously with the dish towel in her hands. She isn’t sure about letting Reign be around the very people she tried to kill only weeks ago either. There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things that are not _allowed_ to go wrong because then all the hard work of the last two weeks would be for nothing. Only from the bits and pieces Alex told her about Coville’s occultists and from the fact that the remaining two Worldkillers haven’t shown since the DEO fell Sam knows, though, that they will have to do _something_. And soon. “Seems like it,” she mumbles, her eyes falling down to the bracelets that fit snug around her wrists, “But I’m not all that happy about it.”

Her thumb and index finger glide over the smooth metal, momentarily dampening the permanent, light green glow. The effect of the Kryptonite in Lena’s lab was so acute and pervasive that she sometimes has the feeling that the indescribable pain still flows through her veins, echoes in her bones like a ghost. She cannot imagine what it must have been like for Reign, having been the one to shoulder the full force of the Kryptonite. Sam is not so delusional that she thinks something like with Lena will not happen again. Reign is too _fierce_ in her protection of Alex, too _possessive_ in her jealousy, too _brash_ with her violence but Sam wants to prolong her next tantrum for as long as possible. To spare them both this pain.

The nervous fiddle becomes more intense, the rubbing movements of her fingers across the bracelets faster. Taking the Worldkiller to the DEO of all places will be like adding fuel to the flames. Sam’s shoulders begin to tense, and her fingers become _frantic._ They have to do something against Purity and Pestilence or the world as they know it will soon crumble all around them and Reign said she would _help_ them, that she wants to keep this world _safe._ Even if it is just to keep _Alex_ safe. The questions and worries begin to blend in with one another in her head, her breathing becomes shaky, her ears ring and suddenly Alex gently stops her desperate movements by taking her hands. “What are you thinking?” she murmurs lowly.

Sam takes in a long breath, tries to bring order to the chaos in her head, suddenly overcome by an infinite gratitude that Alex is by her side. The Agent is the one and only person who understands what she is going through, just as torn as herself between making Reign stand up to her word and the fear of Sam losing control again. Sam holds tight onto her girlfriend’s hands, lets her head rest onto her shoulder: “I’m not sure I’m ready. That _she_ is ready. That _we_ are ready.”

Alex lets go of her hands only to wrap her arms around her waist, rubbing calming, broad circles across her cramped shoulders: “Are you scared?”

Sam nods against Alex’ neck, buries her hands in the redhead’s shirt, soaking up the steady heartbeat that thrums against her palm. “What if something goes wrong? We don’t know how Reign will react when she sees Purity and Pestilence again. What if she _cannot_ fight them? What if she becomes all…I don’t know…Worldkiller-y again?”

Alex retreats slightly, just enough, so she can cup Sam’s cheeks, just enough to look deeply into jittery amber with her own steady hazel: “Whatever happens, I will be right by your side. I will have your back.”

Instead of calming Sam down, though, the words make her heart beat faster and she crinkles her brows: “What if you get hurt? Again?”

She knows that the chances for that are way higher than she would like to, that they will be always _high_ even when all of this is over. And Reign cannot conjure up the end of the world every time Alex gets a bruise. Alex presses her lips tightly together, stares at her with a completely serious expression: “That comes with the job.”

Sam shakes her head because her girlfriend still doesn’t get that her entire world imploded in the night she called Kara and thought Alex died. If only for a handful of seconds: “I know. I know, baby, and I would never ask you to be anything else than an Agent,” she takes in a long, long breath. What she is about to say next reveals more about the abyss in her own soul than about the numerous abysses in Reign’s. “Reign wants to kill Purity for what she did to you at the DEO. She wants to _torture_ her,”

Alex looks puzzled, like she is about to say something, but Sam doesn’t let her: “I want to let her. If something happened to you, something _bad,_ I…I don’t think I would hold her back.”

Sam wonders what this says about herself, what Alex thinks about her now. Maybe that _she_ is the monster after all. If someone hurts her girlfriend again, the kind of _hurt_ that might not bring her back, the kind of _hurt_ that takes a life away, then may God have mercy on them because Sam will hunt them down to the edge of the world. Alex nudges her head upwards to get Sam’s attentions and to the brunette’s surprise Alex doesn’t seem to be appalled, or angry but confident.

“Then we have to make sure that Reign can keep an eye on me.”

“But, Alex…”

“You look out for me, ok? The both of you.” Alex nods her head, expects Sam to do the same and eventually she feels her head move, too.

“Ok.”

“Good. Because I think we should try taking Reign to the DEO.”

Sam feels that Reign is just as reluctant about going to that place as she is. She knows that the work of the DEO is _good_ and _important,_ and Alex trusts the people there, but Sam is afraid how these people will see her. Will they think that she is responsible for what Reign did? Will they demand that Reign accepts full responsibility for the murders she committed? And how would that even work because even if they are _two_ people and _two_ souls, they only have _one_ body. Can they look past Reign to still see Sam or is the Worldkiller all that remains for them? She would rather stay in the protective cocoon of her house than finding out but there is no way around the DEO.

Even Kara and Lena look at her differently now, Lena not as much but Kara’s eyes are always alert as if she expects Sam to snap at any moment, out of nowhere, and the worst thing is that Sam cannot even blame them because if it wouldn’t be for their shared love for Alex, Sam wouldn’t trust Reign either. She must break through this depressing circle or it will suck her in like quicksand. “Is it the cultists?” Sam asks hesitantly, pushes stray hair out of her girlfriend’s face.

She remembers how little she saw of Alex the last couple of days, how exhausted she was when she fell into bed in the middle of the night and how frustrated and angry she became when she told Sam the next morning what absolutely absurd and appalling ways the cultists came up with to draw the Worldkillers out. Even Reign doesn’t dare to bask in her God complex in those moments, doesn’t dare to mock and taunt either of them, shooting honest _concern_ for Alex through Sam’s body instead.

Alex nods, presses her cheek against Sam’s hand and a kiss against her palm: “They are not only endangering themselves but also everyone around them. That has to stop.” Sam nods and makes a decision. There is something she must do before she can go to the DEO. Something that terrifies her.

“I want to tell Ruby.”

* * *

 

 

When Ruby comes home from her sleepover in the afternoon, she doesn’t even close the door before she bounds through the house in search of Alex to tell her about a new soccer trick that Manuela Sánchez showed her.

Her bubbly mood changes instantly when she notices the adults’ serious expressions and how vehemently the Agent guides her to the couch. Alex sits down next to the confused teenager whereas Sam perches on the coffee table across of them, nervously rubbing her hands again. She doesn’t know how to do this, not one bit and the fear that her own daughter will not look at her the same anymore, that Ruby will be _scared_ of her, is so overwhelming that it makes even Reign anxious.

“ **Just get over with it** ,” the Worldkiller remarks, her voice lacking the usual sting and sarcasm.

Sam gulps and she can see that Ruby can see the fear in her eyes. “I need to tell you something, baby. Something very important.”

Ruby casts a puzzled glance between her mother and Alex who sits silently but supportive between them. God, what would Sam do _without_ her. The redhead gives her a small, reassuring smile and Sam squares her shoulders. Before she can say something, though, Ruby opens her mouth, eyes on Alex: “Please, tell me this isn’t about you and mom dating because I knew that literally before you guys.”

Alex cannot keep the snicker in: “You’re way too perceptive for your age,” and Ruby beams at her while Sam blushes furiously.

In all the chaos with Reign and the fight with Alex, Sam completely forgot to talk with her daughter about her new relationship. It is obvious to anyone how much Ruby loves Alex, so much that people in the supermarket commented on them, on how close they are and how they seem to have the kind of relationship that every mother and daughter should have. Sam just stood in front of the vegetables biting back her protest and her emotions because no one has ever taken as much genuine interest in her daughter as Alex and Ruby has never looked at any of her past partners with so much adoration in her wide eyes. Somehow this only raises the stakes, though, and if their relationship crashes and burns for whatever reason at some point they will drag Ruby down with them. Sam must talk with Ruby about this change in both their lives at some point but right now her daughter looks at her expectantly and Sam clears her throat.

“No, this is not about me and Alex because you already figured that out by yourself. Plus, we already told you.”

Ruby’s grin turns wider, her arms flailing: “Oh, are you telling me it is serious? Is Alex _moving in_?”

Her excitement is heartwarming. Sam still sends a panicked glance towards Alex because with the routine they established in the past days and the redhead’s overnight bag at the foot of Sam’s dresser it feels like Alex _did_ move in and even though they are past _slow_ , they are not that _fast_ either. Alex is a little red in the face herself by now, clears her throat and softly shakes her head: “Sorry, Rubes. I’m not moving in.”

However, she cannot remember the last time she actually slept in her own, empty bed.

“Oh,” the teenager’s face falls, “Is this about your fight, then?”

Sam’s worry increases rapidly. Is there _anything_ she can hide from her daughter?

“What fight?” she asks cautiously but her voice is too high, her tone too suspicious.

Again, Ruby looks between the adults this time accusing instead of excited: “Oh, come on. You really thought I would buy your story about being sick?”

Sam and Alex trade a handful of glances in various degrees of _caught_ , _embarrassed_ and _alarmed_. Ruby crosses her arms in front of her chest: “Mom, when you called I heard that you were crying,” then she turns with a scowl to Alex, “And you…” Alex’ eyes widen so much that it looks almost comically, and she silently begs Ruby at which Sam furrows her brows but eventually Ruby only says, “Alex, didn’t look sick either. You were both crying, and aunt Lena wouldn’t tell me anything.”

With a long sigh, Sam finally gives in and raises her hands in appeasement: “Ok, ok. We weren’t sick. We were fighting because…” she must make a short pause because she is so terrified of Ruby’s reaction and instinctively reaches for Alex’ hand, “We were fighting because Alex found out what is wrong with me and I didn’t want to believe her.”

And then Ruby listens to Sam’s explanation about what is _wrong_ with her with very big eyes and very quietly and Sam just wants her to say something. Somewhere in between, her daughter’s eyes fill with tears and so do Sam’s, and Alex brings them both in for a long, long hug. They remain like that on the couch for quite a while, Ruby snuggled safely between them and one of Alex’ arms around them both and her hand on Sam’s knee and Sam is just grateful to reach them wherever.

In the end, Ruby has only very few questions.

“Will Reign hurt any more people?”

Alex takes both her daughter’s hands and looks deeply into her eyes: “Your mom and I make sure that she won’t do that,” then she kisses Ruby’s fingers and Sam could cry again because the amount of love that settles around them is _so_ warm and _so_ soft and _so_ much.

Then Ruby turns to Sam and asks carefully: “Can I meet her?”

Reign remained mostly unfazed by all the intense emotions but now she says: “ **I have no interest in meeting the child**.”

Sam bites her bottom lip. On the one hand, letting Reign anywhere near Ruby is something she definitely wants to avoid. On the other hand, Reign must learn to be around other humans than merely Alex. With Alex and Ruby looking at her expectantly, though, she cannot argue with Reign. Not like they usually do. Unwillingly, she gets up from the comfortable warmth of the couch: “I’m sorry…Just let me…Real quick…”

She hurries into the hall and provokes a mildly serious quarrel with the Worldkiller. Ruby and Alex turn on the couch and poke their heads over the backrest.

“I already thought that she talks suspiciously much with herself since a couple of days.”

Alex snorts next to Ruby: “Kid, you have no idea. They bicker like an old married couple.”

Lastly, Reign stubbornly refuses to talk to Ruby and Sam has not the slightest chance to change her mind.

While they brush their teeth some hours later, Alex mumbles: “That went better than expected.” Sam hums in approval, relieved that her daughter is more occupied with molding Reign into a potential superhero than thinking about the awful things the Worldkiller did in the past.

After she rinsed, Sam says: “Let’s hope the DEO is as easily smitten by Reign as Ruby.”

Turns out it wasn’t.

* * *

 

Sam slept poorly the night before, kept awake by all the scenarios running through her head how the next morning would unfold. By defending Reign, Alex and Sam are pretty much fending for themselves and coupled with Reign’s general pessimism, Sam cannot imagine that Alex’ colleagues and boss will be all that thrilled. She is aware that Reign hasn’t really done anything yet that proves on which side she stands now, nonetheless, it is exhausting not only Sam but also Alex to handle the constant hostility they receive due to Reign even from people that are so close to them as Lena and Kara. No one is ready to simply _trust_ in them and their judgement, apart from Ruby, and the frustration and anger about that circumstance kept Sam from sleeping for half of the night.

In all honesty, Sam doesn’t trust herself, too, sometimes. What she said to Alex about unleashing Reign was nothing but the truth. Purity almost took Alex away from her two times and if she ever tries again a third time, Sam will not hesitate to let Reign loose. God forbid, someone will try to get near Alex again, or Ruby, to her _family_. While Reign and Sam watch Alex sleep in content, mutual silence, Sam remembers what she said to Kara, too. Letting Reign loose is _one_ thing, that the Worldkiller lets herself loose is _another_. The bracelets shimmer slightly in the moonlight that falls on the bed through an opening in the curtains. Sam thinks that Lena is a genius, in almost anything she does, but nonetheless, she is afraid that the bracelets might not be enough one day. That she is too slow to activate them, that one of the remotes doesn’t work that Lena handed out to the people closest to Sam, that the dose will not work anymore.

It was only a drunken comment by Lena, that still sent shivers down Sam’s spine, but if Alex ever has an accident on her motorcycle, where will Reign aim her anger, who will she blame if there is no one to blame.

* * *

 

 

Ruby is picked up by the parents-carpool again and Sam and Alex take the Agent’s Ducati to get to the city center, the next morning.

It is the first time that Sam rides on it and the excitement rushing through her blood from the speed and the way she can shamelessly cling to her girlfriend has her weak in the knees once they arrive. It makes her forget about the impending, awful conversations she will have to face at the DEO, too. She is glad that Alex advised her to bring a scrunchie because in contrast to the redhead’s barely out of place hair, Sam’s is mussed and frizzy and all over the place. Alex laughs so much at her that she has tears streaming down her face by the time Sam ties her hair up.

“ **She will not laugh like that when we take her flying the first time.** ” Reign grumbles, clearly displeased that Sam is made fun of like that.

Alex parked her motorcycle a block from the DEO’s main entrance and currently she and Sam take a short-cut through a small park to avoid the construction site. The second, the nondescript entrance comes into view, though, Sam holds her back by the hand. It seems like she has to struggle through heavy conversation after heavy conversation these days and each time it takes a bigger toll on her. Alex turns towards her with a worried glance, wide eyes and raised eyebrows: "What is it? Why did you stop? Come on.”

Sam shakes her head, feels faintly how the ponytail whips against her back: "Before we go in there I need to know something, you must promise me something."

Alex steps closer towards her, tightens her hold on her girlfriend’s hand. The look in those beautiful hazel eyes tells Sam that her girlfriend is expecting something _bad_ before she even really said something: "What?”

Sam takes a shuddering breath, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. What she is about to ask is horrible, something she should not demand from Alex, something she should not _have_ to demand. It is unfair in a way she has no words for: "If Reign ever turns on someone else again. If she turns on Kara, or Lena. If she ever forgets who you are or who Ruby is…" She takes another shuddering breath, her lips beginning to tremble. It is cruel to ask this of the woman who might _love_ her: "Promise me that you will kill me.”

Alex' eyes widen, she takes a step back, completely caught off-guard. Her even normally pale face becomes as white as a sheet: "How can you ask that of me?”

A single tear rolls down Sam's cheek: "Because you are the only one who can do it.”

"No... I’m not...what are you talking about?" Alex shakes her head, tries to block the thoughts out, looks as if she is physically refusing to listen anymore.

Sam cups her cheeks, forces the Agent to look at her and at the unhidden pain she sees, she must gasp and swallow heavily: "Look at me! Look at me, Alex" she says, stroking Alex' cheeks with her thumbs. Even if Reign is tame and civil in the couple of walls that make Sam’s home, the Worldkiller is still unpredictable in too many situations. A ticking bomb that she might never be able to disarm.

"Promise me, that you will do it. Promise me. Or I cannot go in there. We don’t know how she will react in the DEO or what will happen when she meets Purity and Pestilence.”

Alex feels tears welling up in her own eyes, springing from fear and frustration: "I cannot do that, you know I can't.”

”But you must, " Sam chokes, “You must do it and you are the only person who can."

Alex wraps her own hands around Sam's fingers, tears streaming down her face: "There must be another way, I cannot...I could never.”

They are both crying by now, the tears hot on their cold cheeks in the fresh morning air. For a split second, Sam’s breath stumbles in her throat because Alex looks beautiful even like this. She _always_ is, and Sam cannot believe that someone like Alex fell in love with her, is by her side in such a nightmare and that Sam must load burden after burden onto her slim shoulders. Alex deserves someone _better_ than her. She kisses Alex' fingers softly, holds on to them, squeezes her eyes shut: "You are the only one Reign will allow this to. Promise me. If the moment ever comes, promise me that you will not hesitate.”

Alex sniffles, wipes the tears away and nods her head: "No, no, I...”

"Alex, please..." Sam whispers. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, her breathing shallow and her heart propelling right out of her chest and that Alex whispers in her _ear_ and Reign in her _head_ that all the horrible things the Worldkiller did are not her fault can only do so much to quell the panic suffocating her. She will do anything, _anything_ to pay her dues, to redeem herself and Reign but if that fails, she must know that the Worldkiller will never hurt someone else again. They look deep into each other's eyes and Alex feels herself finally nod: "Ok.”

A small, crooked smile appears on Sam's face, she strokes Alex' hair and leans in. The kiss is hard and desperate and conveys just how much they both wish that this moment _never_ comes. When they wiped their tears away, Alex holds her hand out towards Sam again: “Are you ready?”

Sam shakes her head: “I’m _terrified_.” Then she takes the offered hand and squeezes: “But with you I can get through it.”

“ **You are disgusting** ,” Reign complains, “ **Can we get in now?** ”

Sam shushes her, makes her promise to be _good_ and _calm_ and threatens to spill to Alex how much Reign loves to watch the human sleep while she musters her best smile for Alex and the two enter the Department of Extranormal Operations hand in hand.

* * *

 

 

With her visitor ID and Alex’ hand in hers, Sam has no problem to reach the central office.

The remaining tower of the DEO looks almost identical to the one that has been destroyed by Purity only the floors seem a lot more cramped, there are carts and boxes and equipment everywhere and way too many people working in the individual labs and offices. It’s mayhem. Somehow, Alex still finds an empty conference room for them and sits Sam down into a chair: “Can you wait here? I’ll try to find everyone who needs to know about this and then we…,” she gulps, briefly, looks away, “We will tell them.”

Sam presses a quick kiss to her lips to calm her down and let the Agent know that she can stay alone a couple of minutes. When Alex is leaving, an apologetic look on her face, Sam turns around and takes the room in. It is barely different from a conference room at L-Corp, a long table, many swivel chairs and huge flat-screens at either end of the room. Then she leans her back against a window and observes the Agents that hurry past outside. “ **I do not like this place** ,” Reign says.

“Well, thanks to you I don’t like it either anymore,” Sam retorts with a huff.

“ **Then why don’t we leave? You could open a window and we can leave** ,” Reign lures.

Sam shakes her head vigorously, grabs the back of the chair in front her tight: “Don’t even think about it. _You_ brought us into this mess and now _you_ have to suffer the consequences. These people are working so hard to right the things you did.”

Reign responds with a dismissive grunt. Between her irritation about Reign, Sam feels something else blooming in her chest. “Are you worried?” she asks in disbelief.

Her twin squirms inside her and the feeling becomes stronger: “ **I do not worry. I am an almighty Worldkiller** ,” she rumbles.

Sam scrunches her nose up, holds on to Reign’s feeling: “No, no. You _are_ worried about something.”

Reign fumes, goes very quiet until she says: “ **I do not trust anyone in this building apart from you and Alexandra and these humans will not trust me either. This is pointless and will only bring potential harm to you two that I would rather evade**.”

Sam is touched by Reign’s concern, something she wasn’t sure the Worldkiller could even feel or express, nonetheless she says resolutely: “You promised to _help_ us against Purity and Pestilence. To keep this world _safe_. Now is the time to prove that you mean those words.” She doesn’t get to hear an answer because the next moment the door opens, and Alex walks back in.

“Look who I found,” she says with a crooked smile and Sam can feel how Reign calms down just because the redhead is in the same room with them again. To Sam’s surprise and adding to her uncomfortableness, there are far more people entering behind her girlfriend than she would have liked. She recognizes Kara first, proud and stoic in her Supergirl suit, giving her that apprehensive look again. It comes as a small relief but as a relief nonetheless that Lena is right behind her and the two friends share a long glance across the conference table while the rest begins to gather. Alex’ boss, Agent Hankshaw, is there too and Winn of course and lastly the couple Sam met in the med-bay when Alex was hurt and the alien that had still been unconsciousness at that point. Most of them eye her suspiciously and Sam does her best not to fidget under their combined glances.

Agent Hankshaw is the first to speak: “Ms. Arias,” he looks pointedly but polite at Sam, then he turns to Lena, “Ms. Luthor. As you both know you are situated at a clandestine, operative government organization that should not even exist. I am thankful for your assistance because we can honestly need it but as you are now officially introduced to the Department of Extranormal Operations you will have to sign these.”

He slides a single sheet of paper, narrowly printed, to them respectively and two pens. It is an NDA.

Sam signs without batting an eye because she already did this a handful of times in a handful of companies and she might just feel like dragging Alex home already. Her palms are sweaty and her pulse too quick and she feels like crawling out of her skin. It doesn’t help one bit that Reign bristles at the glances Sam and Alex receive and the brunette wants nothing more than to leave. Which she obviously cannot. Lena stares at Agent Hankshaw with narrow eyes instead and he proceeds to explain: “This is not a contract between you and the DEO. It doesn’t make you our employees in any way or obliges either of you to anything than keeping silent about everything you hear and see in this facility.”

Sam casts a quick, pleading glance at her friend and Lena signs with a huffed: “Fine.”

“Do you mind telling us why we all have been summoned here?” the blue-skinned alien speaks up.

Sam feels her heart beating faster and is relieved when Alex steps around the table towards her. She gives her an encouraging smile and Sam becomes a little bit braver, a little less anxious. The redhead takes a deep breath, but Sam keeps her from talking by taking her hand and mumbling: “Let me.”

If anyone thinks anything about their hand holding, they are all pretty good at hiding it. Sam only spots how the eyes of the woman she met in the med bay soften slightly. And then she imagines that this is just an unpleasant conference she must get through, do her best to convince these people of her point of view and she opens her mouth: “I know that you are all aware of the three Worldkillers that came to National City.”

With Alex standing right next to her she can get through this.

 

* * *

 

 

Kara leans back in the chair, only half listening to Sam’s little speech about being Reign’s host and that they want to support the DEO in their fight against the remaining Worldkillers.

As expected, Lena is a picture perfect of determined support for her dear friend and of course Alex doesn’t look like anything else either. J’onn looks deep in thought, Winn remains suspiciously quiet and the fiercest reaction comes from Mon-El: “This is a joke, right?”

Alex instantly narrows her eyes at him, stands taller and takes an almost protective stance next to Sam. Even though Kara still struggles with warming up to the idea to work together with Reign, she must admire how deep and unshakable her sister’s trust is in both Sam and the Worldkiller. Brainiac is the next to say something, his hands spread on the surface of the conference table and his eyes wide: “You tell us to work together with the very being we came all the way from the future to extinguish?”

Kara cannot blame him for sounding so accusatory but the way Sam flinches at his words tugs at her soft heart, nonetheless. If only there was a way to separate Sam and Reign, then Kara could stop feeling so damn _conflicted_ and _torn_.

“I am aware this must sound unthinkable to you,” Sam mumbles.

Then Alex says with hard eyes: “Reign is different from the other Worldkillers. She can help us in this fight,” after a short pause she adds, “And you know just as much as I do that we need all the help we can get.”

No one can really respond to that because even though neither of them wants to accept it, Alex is right.

“How can you be sure, though, that she is different? This could be a trap after all,” Imra says with crossed arms.

Something unspoken passes between Alex and Sam that Kara cannot quite decipher and she would like to hear an answer to that herself. She remembers that Alex told her something about Reign feeling the same as Sam and Kara is pretty sure that the tall brunette _loves_ her sister. But a Worldkiller with the capacity to love? Somehow that sounds a tad bit too outlandish for her taste.

“Until recently I was not aware of Reign but we…” Sam begins, then stops, turns slightly to Alex in a motion to seek help and when Alex wraps an arm around her shoulders, she continues, “Reign and I merged. Our consciousnesses are linked now and I have an insight into her. She is ready to turn against Purity and Pestilence.”

Imra lets out a disbelieving huff and J’onn says in a voice strained to appear calm: “Ms. Arias, I do not want to doubt your judgement but, as I am sure you are aware, we cannot simply believe you and risk any Agents’ or any civilians' lives.”

Mon-El slaps one of his hands on the table: “Prove it then. Show us that she will not blow us all up once she has the chance.”

Alex’ expression becomes more and more tense and Kara briefly wonders if they should worry about her sister more than about Sam or Reign. “You think it is that simple, Daxamite?” she hisses between clenched teeth and Kara rises slightly in her seat in case hell decides to break loose.

“Why not?” Mon-El challenges defiantly and even Kara feels close to punching him for his unbelievable indiscretion. The vein on Alex’ temple begins to pulse, she takes a menacing step towards him, but it is Sam who holds her back gently by the shoulders.

“Reign will have to learn to be around them sooner or later,” she says softly, “Why not make it sooner?”

Alex’ shoulders relax slightly with one last withering glare in Mon-El’s direction she turns to her girlfriend: “Are you sure?”

Sam nods tentatively: “You are here. And Lena and Supergirl.”

Alex nods once, Sam inhales and when she exhales the temperature must have fallen ten degrees in the room. The change is subtle in most parts but overtly obvious in others. Reign’s eyes are a fraction colder than Sam’s, her posture more rigid and her expression is full of contempt: “You are all insignificant bugs I could crush in the palm of my hand,” she says.

And of course, her personality is _awful_ and _horrible_ in contrast to Sam’s. Alex chastises her, Lena drops her head in her hand and Kara can only roll her eyes. One has to grant her that she didn’t heat-gaze any of them into oblivion right away.

“But there are two people in this room that deserve to be saved from my sisters,” the Worldkiller continues, completely unfazed by the various reactions.

Her face does not give anything away as she takes Alex’ hand and says: “I vow to protect you and Samantha and to do everything in my power to keep you from harm.”

The look the Worldkiller gives Alex is so intense that she feels her cheeks grow hot because, damn it, Reign has no sense for _place_ and _time_ and there are seven people staring at them.

“Even if it means to turn against my sisters and the dark priestess,” Reign continues and then she casts a withering look towards the other people in the room, “Even if it means to spare these useless low-lives.”

Then she turns back to Alex who is tense and embarrassed and very, very red in the face. When Reign is about to kiss Alex’ hand, Winn leans over to Mon-El and whispers:

“Are they both in love with Alex?”

Mon-El doesn’t dare to look at him, stares instead at Alex who swats the Worldkiller away, quietly spluttering and cursing and her cheeks even redder:

“Dude,” he whispers back, “Don’t push it. She can hear you.”

To everybody’s relief Sam takes back over and Lena explains how the inhibitor bracelets work. For the rest of the day, Lena hands her test results on Reign and Sam to the DEO and conducts several additional tests on the Worldkiller together with Alex on which J’onn insists.

 

* * *

 

 

It is visibly exhausting to Reign to endure the various procedures, to remain calm when all she really wants is to bite a head or two off.

She swallows her remarks and threats, nonetheless, because Alexandra is standing right next to her each time a new tool pierces her skin or someone else of this pathetic group dares to look at the Worldkiller the wrong way. Apart from being sour about the fact that she does not get to spend time with her mate the way she would like to, it is the Luthor of all people who constantly hovers around them.

Reign absolutely _hates_ her. She would like nothing more than to snap her pale, slender neck for kissing Alexandra. What an absolute outrage that has been and the image is forever burned into her mind. Apart from herself, only Sam is allowed to touch the human like _that_ , or better at _all_. And while Reign conjured up phantasy after phantasy how she would punish the Luthor, Sam went on and on how she would make her threat come true and ultimately Reign had to fume in silence because _punishment_ became far less important in the past days and weeks than being close to _Alexandra._

After the last test, Reign changed back into Sam’s clothes, exits the room humans specifically use for that very purpose and spots the familiar red hair not far away. Alexandra has her back to the wide corridor and looks out towards the dark city from a balcony. Reign nears her quietly and says: “Your fortress is pathetic.”

Alexandra turns to her with an amused smile and something coils in Reign’s stomach at the sight: “Is that so?”

Reign places her hands on the railing and looks stoically out towards the city that twinkles below them. It is almost _lovely_ to look at: “Your human protectors are, too. It is a miracle that you held out this long against the combined forces of three Worldkillers.”

There is more she could say, more she _wants_ to say after playing nice all day but suddenly Alexandra slides closer to her, rests her head on Reign’s shoulder and mumbles: “I’m proud of you, you know?”

Reign stiffens, her stomach grows harder and her face feels warm all of a sudden: “What for?”

Alexandra’s smile grows wider and Reign’s heart flutters: “You really pulled yourself together. By your standards you were _nice_.”

“I was not _nice_ ,” the Worldkiller says, spitting the last word out as if it left a filthy taste in her mouth.

Alexandra chuckles, and the sound is so beautiful that the Worldkiller wants to hear it again instantly. The human presses further into her side and begins to count something on her fingers: “You only verbally threatened Lena five times to blast her out of the lab, broke only one of Winn’s tablets with your heat-gaze and endured thirteen of my attempts to draw your blood without making any comments.” Reign grimaces and Alexandra’s adds: “For _you_ , that is nice.”

Suddenly, Reign cannot fight the impulse anymore and slides an arm around Alexandra’s slim waist. “I did not do any of that for _them._ ” Reign mumbles, doing her best to ignore the way the human’s hair smells or how her heartrate picks up slightly.

The almost bumpy rhythm is as loud as thunder in Reign’s head and warmth settles behind her navel tugging and forcefully. The Worldkiller swallows because she cannot hide her arousal for Alexandra in front of her host and it makes her uncomfortable. Sam knows how much Reign _wants_ their mate, how _deep_ the Worldkiller’s desire for the human runs but she has never said anything about it. And Reign hasn’t done anything about it, albeit her mind has been reeling with _lust_ at times. During their fight, Sam _slapped_ their mate for even saying Reign’s name and the Worldkiller is more than happy to avoid a new conflict between them.

It surprises Reign that after all this time, Sam is still able to conceal some of her feelings and she is left clueless about what her host thinks about _sharing_ Alexandra. She said it was _ok_ that the three of them would be _together_ and that she doesn’t _mind_ but when it comes to Alexandra, Reign is not keen to test her luck. For most of the time, she is content to relive her kiss with Alexandra on the roof and the things she does to the illusion of the redhead on Krypton, well, no one has to know about _that_.

But there are moments, mostly when Alexandra and Sam mate, or moments like _this_ , when it becomes harder and harder to control her desire. She jumps slightly, when Alexandra turns in her arm and wraps her in a tight hug that makes Reign’s heart stutter: “Thank you anyways,” the human whispers close to her ear and Reign’s muscles begin to tremble from nervousness.

“ **Relax** ,” Sam murmurs in her head, gentle and calm while Reign is anything but that. Her hands hover unsure over Alexandra’s waist and the urge to touch her becomes stronger and stronger. “ **It’s ok** ,” Sam whispers again and Reign gulps.

She is so far in her own head that she almost misses how Alexandra giggles: “Reign.”

The Worldkiller snaps out of it and stutters: “What?”

“Reign,” the human says again, her voice light and twinkling, “You’re _floating_.”

Heat shoots into her cheeks and her shoes land back on the floor with a snap. She lets out a string of grumbled curses while Alexandra shakes with quiet laughter in her embrace. When she has calmed down, the human mumbles: “That’s the only thing I envy you and Kara for.”

Reign hides her still burning face in the crook of Alexandra’s neck and says with her lips so temptingly close to the soft and creamy skin: “What is that?”

“Flying,” Alexandra sighs.

Reign turns her head to look out into the quiet night sky. It’s a beautiful night to be outside, the sky is clear and littered with stars and the wind is mild for the first time in months.

“I could take you,” the Worldkiller says before she can stop herself.

Sometimes, it is unfair how easily the human has her wrapped around her finger. Reign would literally move mountains for her. Alexandra retreats slightly from her, the look on her face one of pure excitement and joy: “You would?”

Reign ducks her head in embarrassment: “It is not that demanding.”

Alexandra almost bounces with excitement: “Kara doesn’t take me flying anymore for fun. Or anyone for that matter.” Then her expression changes to one of worry and concern. She lifts a hand to tuck a stray lock behind Reign’s left ear: “But you are not in your suit. You cannot go flying around in Sam’s clothes.”

Reign does not immediately understand why that is of any importance but before she can say something the human wriggles out of her arms and is gone with a quick: “Wait a second.”

Reign is left in front of the balcony, not sure what to expect now, when Sam chimes: “ **Smooth**.”

“Oh, shut up!” Reign hisses back. She is getting a taste currently how annoying her comments must be to Sam when the human is in control of their body. Before the Worldkiller can continue their bickering, though, Alexandra is back with a rough, black woolen blanket. Reign quirks an eyebrow and spots several of the same blankets wrapped tight around a bunch of equipment crates that are scattered all over the office. Then Alexandra wraps the blanket around her shoulders and head, so that she has a little hood and grins proudly: “There. Now, we are ready to go.”

Reign pulls at the rough material with a scowl, but she has to admit that the human is right. Flying around as her human alter-ego might not be the best choice. One can never be sure who is watching. Rolling her eyes, she says with a growl that comes out more playful than she wanted to: “Come here.”

Then she scoops Alexandra up in her arms, the same way she always does, the _safest_ way, one arm curled under the human’s knees and the other across her back. Her impromptu cloak flutters behind her as she takes off into the night sky with Alexandra close to _squealing_.

She takes them higher than any sky-scraper but not as far that the wind blows too harsh and too cold and they cannot understand a word anymore. Alexandra only has eyes for the glimmering city below them, the shining lights, the soft glow whereas Reign is marveling at the light in the human’s eyes. For a couple of moments, neither of them speaks and all Reign hears is Alexandra’s strong and stumbling heartbeat, the noises from the city not able to reach her up here.

“It’s _so_ beautiful,” Alexandra sighs eventually with her arms wrapped tight around Reign’s shoulders. 

Reign nods and says: “Yes, it is.” She is only looking at the redhead’s wide, ecstatic smile, though, and warmth pools in her chest at the thought that she can make Alexandra this _happy_.

“You are not even looking,” Alexandra scolds her, turning her head to look at Reign, still smiling from ear to ear.

Reign cocks her head, retorts: “But I am.”

With the next gush of wind, something shifts around them and the atmosphere sways from _light_ and _careless_ to something else, something more _serious_. Suddenly, Reign is very aware of Alexandra’s weight in her arms, how the human’s heart beats so fast it is fluttering and how her breathing hitches. Alexandra looks deep into Reign’s eyes and the Worldkiller feels like drowning, drawn in and she licks her lips.

“ **Kiss her** ,” Sam whispers and Reign involuntarily tightens her hold.

They remain frozen, although she has the feeling that the distance between them slowly decreases.

“ **Kiss her, Reign. It is ok** ,” Sam repeats and the Worldkiller’s eyes flicker down to Alexandra’s slightly parted, soft, soft lips.

“ **She wants it, too** ,” Sam purrs and before she can close the gap, Alexandra tugs her forward by the hood.

The kiss is different than their last, it’s _soft_ and _sweet_ and Reign breathes a content sigh against Alexandra’s lips. The human pulls back way too soon and leaves her lightheaded and wanting more.

“Is this ok for-“ Alexandra pants, her pupils blown and dark. Reign doesn’t let her finish and growls:

“Yes” before she leans in again, pressing her lips harder against Alexandra.

This time Reign waits until Alexandra opens her mouth for her, this time she is gentle as she guides the human into a slow, passionate rhythm. When Alexandra slips the hood from Reign’s head and scratches her nails along the Worldkiller’s exposed neck, she clamps her teeth into Alexandra’s bottom lip and growls. The longer they kiss the more Reign can feel the pressure rising in her muscles, feels the strength and power throbbing in her limbs and when Alexandra grabs her face and angels her head to deepen the kiss, Reign begins to tremble from holding back.

“Are you ok?” Alexandra asks concerned but cannot stop herself from pressing more kisses onto Reign’s mouth. She lets out a shaky breath, tries to clear the haze in her head but the control is steadily slipping from her fingers. If she drops Alexandra, Sam will _never_ allow her to live that down.

“My powers,” Reign groans as the human kisses and nibs her jaw, “I cannot…” she groans again, “I cannot control them.”

Her eyes flicker to the spot where she bit Alexandra and she can make out the faintest lines of scars in her skin. That is not allowed to happen again. Under no circumstances. Alexandra inhales sharply, looks even more aroused, if that is even possible but when she surges forward again, Reign turns her head.

“I will _break_ you,” she whispers quietly while something very close to shame erupts in her chest.

To her relief, Alexandra stops kissing her, shifts in her arms until her upper body is more upward and Reign’s face ends up in front of the human’s chest: “It’s ok…It’s ok.” Alexandra mumbles between heavy pants, maybe to herself as much as to the dazed Worldkiller.

Then she places a lingering kiss against Reign’s forehead and puts the hood back in place: “Take us home.”

Reign is faster than lightning during the flight to the suburbs to quell the raging need in her abdomen and to make Alexandra laugh in excited delight the whole way.

After they put Ruby to bed for the night, Sam has Alex screaming into a cushion on the couch.

“Imagine these are _her_ hands. _Her_ tongue.”

The combined desire of her girlfriend that she can _see_ and the desire of Reign that she can _feel_ sends Sam over the edge right along with Alex.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam sits at the desk in her office at L-Corp knee-deep in financial development estimations from several companies Lena wants to acquire.

It is her first day back since she merged with Reign and this is something like a trial. Lena works in an office three doors down for a change and there are only phone conferences scheduled for today, but it is a start. One step after the other. If only a certain Worldkiller wasn’t so bored out of her mind. Since Reign took Alex flying, the Worldkiller’s libido is even _worse_ , even more _rampaging_ than before. On her way to work, Sam almost caused an accident because of the intense desire that shot through her out of the blue due to Reign. They really must do something about this.

Suddenly, her phone chimes, signaling that she got a text. She pulls her phone up, swipes the screen and stumbles over her next breath. Alex sent her a picture with merely two words in the caption: _Like it?_

Sam gulps. This is just what she needed after Reign finally calmed down a couple of hours ago.

Two days ago, Alex ran officially out of underwear while staying at the Arias house. As Sam prepared breakfast, Ruby dragged a highly uncomfortable Alex to a small clothing store that was not too far away from the house. Her girlfriend stuttered something about not wanting to drive all the way home without any underwear on. And washing would take too long and wearing anything from Sam was out of the question for her, too. So, she had no other choice but to buy new one.

As soon as Sam put the pancakes on the breakfast table, the two returned. Alex’ cheeks were redder than before she left, and Ruby was grinning so wide that she instantly knew something was up.

"So? Were you successful?" Sam asked, sipping a cup of coffee.

Still grinning, Ruby dangled a small plastic bag from her fingers, whereas Alex busied herself at the coffee machine. "Take a look, mom. I think she made a perfect decision.”

Sam took the bag from her daughter’s hand and spilled the content between the plate of pancakes and bacon. A neatly opened three-pack of black Calvin Klein trunks landed on the table. Sam's cheeks grew hot, too, and she let out a surprised: "Oh."

"Great," Ruby said cheerily, "Now, your faces match."

Sam was about to take one of the trunks in her hands when suddenly Alex stomped over, snatched the embarrassing garment out of her hand and left the kitchen, all the while muttering something about all the underwear for women being either too flashy or too impractical. She refused to show Sam the whole day and the brunette was left with nothing but wild imagination. _Wild_ and _dirty_ imagination because she could not chase the image of the shorts sitting low on Alex’ hipbones out of her mind.

And now that imagination is finally satisfied. Alex sent her a selfie, but Sam can barely see her face. The angle shows her upper body from above and with one hand Alex tugs the DEO polo shirt upward until slightly above her navel. The tight, tactical pants are slit down barely under her hipbones, the button popped open and Sam has a perfect view of her girlfriend's taught abs and the very inviting 'v' between her loins. Her mouth becomes dry, her palms sweaty and she must press her thighs painfully tight together. The waistband of the new Calvin Kleins fills the delicious space between Alex' stomach and her pants. Sam's mouth becomes even drier. She would do anything to be by her girlfriend’s side this instance, shove these shorts down her legs and show her how much _exactly_ she likes the picture.

Then out of nowhere, Reign begins to stir and Sam tries to quickly close the picture, but it is too late. Her hand jerks and the phone screen splinters.

"God damn it, Reign!" Sam exclaims in the quiet office.

“ **That was Alexandra's fault for sending such a teasing picture** ," Reign half-heartedly defends herself. “ **You should order her here to teach her a lesson for making me break your phone** ," the Worldkiller muses, " **Or better let us go there and-** "

Sam shakes her head vigorously, squirming in her seat because, seriously, as if her own desire hasn’t already been enough: "Shut up, you. No one is going or coming anywhere."

Except maybe herself right in this chair if she could see the picture again. She sighs in an attempt to push their combined desire back down, deep, deep down.

"I need to work."

Surprisingly, Reign does not protest but Sam can feel that she will spend the rest of the day thinking about that picture.

She sighs again.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam has her wrists crossed in front of her chest, her thumbs turned to each other and the tips pressed against her index fingers.

She gives it her best to repeat the monotone chant after Kara, but the words are stiff and rough and fall too hard from her lips, not at all like the gentle curl around Kara’s tongue. Kryptonese turns out to be way harder than Sam imagined and that thing about _calming down_ and _relaxing_ doesn’t work all that well either because Reign keeps constantly and insistently correcting her. Her right eyebrow twitches, her mouth turns downward, and the next exhale comes out more as a huff.

“Torquasm-Vo is supposed to be relaxing, Sam. It’s meditation.” Kara scolds her softly.

Sam cracks one eye open with a scowl: “I wish I could relax. Really. But Reign doesn’t stop correcting me every time I mispronounce _urvish_.”

To her surprise Kara giggles softly, something she hasn’t done around Sam for quite a while: “I cannot believe I agree with her on something, but your pronunciation is _pretty_ horrible.”

Sam pretends to be _horribly_ offended: “Hey!” Then they both erupt in a small fit of giggles.

“You guys sure seem to have fun.” Alex stepped into the small training room where Kara and Sam retreated to for their meditation session.

“Your girlfriend’s Kryptonese is awful,” Kara grins mockingly.

“In my defense, only half of me is Kryptonian and believe me that half is outraged at my pronunciation, too,” Sam says with an easy grin.

Kara proposed the ancient meditation technique to Sam a couple of days ago and by now Reign’s sex-craziness about Alex has taken on such a dramatic scale that the CFO clutches at _any_ straw. Kara thinks that it will help Sam to calm Reign down when she has a violent fit, but Sam hopes to calm her down when the Worldkiller is just short of pouncing on Alex in the kitchen when the Agent comes back from a morning run, sweaty and in dangerously short running-shorts.

“She’ll get to it,” Alex winks but then her expression turns serious, “Can I burrow you for a sec’, Sam?”

Kara and Sam get up from the floor and the blonde says: “Maybe we should call it quits for today anyways. We don’t want Reign to go ballistic because Sam doesn’t know her Kryptonese.”

“Yeah, yeah I get it,” Sam says, rolling her eyes and smiling lopsided. With a wink and a reminder to Sam to keep learning, Kara exits the room. As soon as the door is closed, Alex closes the distance between them and Sam settles her hands on the Agent’s hips.

“I could teach you a thing or two in Kryptonese, too,” Alex says with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Sam’s fingers begin to press into Alex’ hipbones on their own accord and it is not even Reign’s fault because, Jesus, Alex looks just _too_ good in her DEO wear.

“Oh yeah? And what would that be?” Sam challenges with raised eyebrows.

Alex’ grin widens, and she moves her mouth close to Sam’s already burning ear: “For starters, there is _wilom._ ” 

The word sounds a lot softer than the harsh rumble that tumbled out of Sam’s own mouth only minutes ago and it instantly makes a pleasant shiver run down her spine.

Reign groans in her head: “ **Her pronunciation is better than yours**.”

Sam swallows because from Reign’s reaction, she can guess that it is a somewhat dirty word. Her index and middle finger slip under Alex’ shirt: “What does it mean?”

“Hard,” Alex breathes against the shell of her ear and Sam has a _hard_ time keeping her knees from buckling.

“What else?” she husks, her voice having dropped several octaves.

“ _Finud_.”

“ **Fast** ,” Reign echoes and Sam must bite her lip.

“More?” she gasps, her fingers wandering upwards under Alex’ shirt, her voice inching closer and closer to a _whine._

“ _Zhao_ ” The word is such a complicated string of sounds that Sam could not reproduce it for the love of God but Reign rumbles, low and throaty:

“ **Lust**.”

“Fuck,” Sam gasps and tugs Alex forcefully closer until they are flush against each other.

Her girlfriend’s eyes are dark and glinting and she is smirking, the kind of smirk that makes her _devilishly_ handsome and can turn _any_ women’s head. Her lips are so close to Sam’s that they share the same breath: “No, no, no, baby. That is not Kryptonese.”

With a playful push, Sam shoves Alex away or otherwise she could not guarantee for anything and groans: “Ok, you damn tease. This is enough. What did you want?”

Alex laughs at her and Sam cannot stay mad at her although her panties might be a little ruined now. “I came up with a phenomenal plan to talk to Reign.”

Sam tilts her head in confusion and says in unison with Reign: “What?”

Alex motions with her hands to underline her explanation: “You know, I love spending time with either of you and talk with either of you but it…uh…wouldn’t it be nice if the three of us could talk _together_ for once?”

Sam crosses her arms in front of her chest and quirks an eyebrow: “Are you talking about splitting us?”

Reign sends a sharp pang of panic through her body because although they argue and bicker for most of the time, they actually grew comfortable around each other. Splitting them doesn’t sound desirable to Sam either.

Hastily, Alex waves her hands in front of her chest: “Rao, no!”

“Then what?” Sam asks even more confused, “You did not forget that I only have _one_ body after all.”

Alex chuckles and rolls her eyes: “Of course, I did not forget that. Come with me.”

Alex guides Sam through several corridors of the DEO and through a couple of turnstiles until they eventually enter a space that doesn’t look much like the DEO anymore, it’s white and bright and has a certain vibe of the future.

“Where are we?” Sam asks as she looks around the smooth, organic walls.

“This is the Legion ship. Mon-El and his people. They came from the thirty-first century to…” she makes a short pause and looks apologetically at Sam who shrugs,

“To kill the Worldkillers.”

Alex nods, with a cringe: “Exactly.”

As they pass a couple of more corridors, Sam asks: “Didn’t this ship burn in the other tower? I think I saw it on the news.”

Alex nods again and leads Sam into a wide, elliptic room that must be the ship’s bridge: “You’re right. Currently, Mon-El, Imra and Brainiac are working to repair it.”

Only one of them is in sight, though, and because Sam knows it is not Mon-El, it must be Brainiac. He is intently working on a computer panel and doesn’t notice them at first but when he finally does, he jumps and points an accusing finger at Alex: “No! No, no, no.”

Sam comes to an abrupt halt, whereas Alex raises her hands in defense: “Come on, Brainy. You said we could try.”

He shakes his head: “No, no, no. You said it was a hypothetical scenario and not something you would like to put into operation.” Crossing his arms, he adds: “And that exactly ninety-four minutes and twenty-three seconds after you asked.”

Alex clasps her hands together in a pleading motion and tilts her head: “Please, Brainy. This would really mean a lot to me.”

Stubbornly, he flails a hand in Sam’s direction who simply stares at them dumbfounded: “Do you even know if her human body could handle the stress? There is already a second consciousness in her. You cannot know if her body can handle a third.”

“Hold on a second!” Sam steps in between, “What exactly are you guys discussing here?”

Alex casts her a nervous glance and Brainiac launches into another indignant rant: “She wants me to broadcast your consciousnesses into a magical dark valley Alexandra mentioned, using the thirty-first century technology which allowed me to access Supergirl’s mind when Reign punched her into a coma.”

Sam flinches at that particular memory but offers a weak: “It’s actually not that dark anymore.”

Brainiac casts her a withering glare and continues: “Technology specifically designed to enter human consciousnesses not alternate realms.”

“Well, isn’t it technically Sam’s mind we want to enter?” Alex grins hopefully.

“And are you not supposed to be trained in Earth’s biology?” he remarks flippantly.

Sam puts a hand on her girlfriend’s arm: “You suggest that we find a way, so you can enter the dark valley or my mind or whatever, too?”

Alex nods her head, her smile growing soft: “Exactly. I never get to see you two at the same time,” then she nervously takes one of Sam’s hands, “And…well…sometimes that really _sucks_.”

In light of the recent events that transpired in mid-air and in a _lot_ of Sam’s dreams, the idea suddenly sounds very appealing. Her head whips to Brainiac and she rushes out: “Can you really do that?”

He throws his hands in the air: “Have you not been listening?”

“Please, Brainy. Sam is on board, too, and if something happens you can pull us out instantly,” Alex pleads with big, round eyes.

“Yes, pretty please,” Sam adds.

Brainiac stares at them defensively until her groans: “I hate humans.”

Five minutes later, Sam and Alex lie in two lounge-like chairs with Sam’s legs neatly crossed at her ankles while one of Alex’ legs is bend at the knee, half dangling off the chair and Sam must snicker. Her girlfriend cannot even sit _straight_. Each has a white transponder stuck to their forehead and Alex winks at her: “You look funny.”

Sam sticks her tongue out: “You, too.”

Brainiac rolls his eyes at them: “I cannot believe I am wasting my time with you. I have more important things to attend to.”

Alex looks at him: “Pretend it’s a cool experiment.”

He huffs in annoyance then Alex adds: “By the way, will it hurt?”

Sam stiffens in the chair: “You are only asking that now?”

“The chances are better than fifty percent,” he answers matter of factly.

With raised eyebrows Alex says: “That’s comforting.”

He tilts his head: “Really? I didn’t think so.”

“Let’s do this, ok?” Sam interrupts them, reaching her hand out to Alex. The moment their fingers touch they are out like a light.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Alex notices is warm sunlight on her face and a gentle breeze in her hair.

Sam’s fingers are warm and solid in her hand and tentatively she opens her eyes. She is looking into a blinding blue sky, standing in the middle of a sandy field and she lets out a small gasp. “It’s beautiful, right?” Sam asks next to her.

Absentmindedly, Alex nods: “Yeah. Where are we? What is this place?”

Sam shrugs: “We have no clue, but Reign thinks it is an illusion of Krypton. The clothes suggest that, too.”

Alex looks at her puzzled: “The clothes?” Sam motions for her to look down with a small grin. Alex wears a tight, deep grey shirt with a high, open collar and wide pants in the same color. The material feels slightly rough but pleasant and light at the same time: “Huh.”

Then she takes a closer look at Sam who wears a stunning milky blue dress. She runs her hands over the delicate material on Sam’s waist, giving her a long, appreciative once over: “You look beautiful,” Alex mumbles, her heart swelling at the light blush that blooms on her girlfriend’s cheeks.

“You don’t look bad yourself.”

For a couple of moments, they stand there in content silence, smiling at each other like the love-sick fools they are until a voice interrupts them: “What are you doing here?” Reign comes down the path, barefooted, more stalking than walking and Alex’ breath momentarily hitches because, good _God_ , Reign’s beauty is in no way inferior to Sam’s. She wears a similar-cut dress as Sam, however hers is a deep, burgundy red and her hair is tied into a high ponytail, her tanned skin glowing in the warm sunlight.

“I brought someone,” Sam smiles at her alter-ego, making Alex speechless for a moment because it is the first time she sees them together and that needs some time to adjust to. Her attempt to not freak out gets promptly interrupted when Reign wraps her arms around Alex’ waist, pulls her a little backwards and rests her chin on the redhead’s shoulder. Alex lets out a surprised yelp and suddenly only the gentle breeze can be heard.

“It is really her, right?” Reign deadpans.

Sam snickers at them and nods: “Yep. Really her.”

The next second, Reign springs away from Alex with a shocked expression and there might be a light blush on her cheeks, too. Alex’ cheeks must be _burning_ as she tries to hide her disappointment over the lost contact.

“What is she doing here?” Reign exclaims panicked.

“We thought that there are a couple of things the three of us should discuss and I did _not_ want to play messenger for you two.”

“Way to greet me for that matter,” Alex grumbles, crosses her arms and shifts her weight on one leg.

Reign stares at both of them with narrowed eyes before she rumbles: “Follow me.”

As they accompany the Worldkiller along the sandy path, Alex wonders: “Hey, why am I the only one wearing pants?”

Sam lets out a melodic laugh while Reign continues to seethe in silence. “In my version of this place, you wore a dress, too, baby. Don’t worry,” with a playful smirk she adds, “I guess Reign simply prefers you in pants.”

She lets out another laugh because both Reign and Alex blush furiously. They walk together in mutual silence the rest of the way each dwelling on their own thoughts. Reign stays a couple of feet ahead of them and Alex is burning holes into her back because she is slowly becoming nervous the longer they walk. At some point, Sam took her hand again, gave her a supportive smile and Alex wonders what she did to deserve someone like her who accepts Alex’ complicated, messy feelings and takes it all in such stride. Hell, Sam even urges her on when it comes to Reign. And that coupled with all the problems she must face apart from that. Alex’ heart inflates like a balloon until it strains against her ribcage from the inside because Sam might be the strongest person Alex knows and Alex is just so, _so_ proud of her.

She gave up trying to understand how it is possible for her to love two people at the same time and maybe it is simply this extraordinary situation and would never have happened with two other people and frankly, for once, she does not want to overthink and potentially destroy this budding relationship between them but simply _feel._ And the longer they walk the more does Alex wish to do things with Sam and Reign together that involve only very little talking.

Eventually, the field falls behind them, and the tall wheat leads to low, scattered tussocks of grass, the patches of bare sand becoming larger. Alex comes to an abrupt halt and so does Sam: “Is this the Fortress of Sanctuary?” the redhead asks bewildered.

Reign turns around to them and shrugs: “Or some version of it.”

The Fortress looks nothing alike the eerie, jagged formation Alex remembers from the desert. It’s less hard, less creepy and sharp and more organic, round and flowing. What were stone columns in the desert are big, curling branches in this otherworldly place. The wood is light and smooth, and Alex wants to run her hand across it over and over again. Although the formation seems to be tightly knotted and narrow in some parts, it gives the impression of wide, airy open space, too, and that is the only reason why Alex does not launch into a claustrophobic panic attack. That and the fact that Reign and Sam are right by her side.

“Why do I not know this place?” Sam asks, almost upset that Reign hid such mesmerizing beauty from her.

“Did you really think I was sitting at the side of a lake all day?” the Worldkiller asks taunting and continues forward between the thick branches. The mild air is coated in a flowery scent and Alex spots hundreds of small, white blossoms across the whole plant. It reminds her a bit of a net of roots turned upside down.

“Well,” Sam mumbles looking rather awkward and then they follow the Worldkiller through a wide, natural grown gateway to the inside. There the organic shapes continue, the raw flow of branches, roots and vines and Alex feels a strange calm settle in her chest. Mouth’s parted slightly, the humans take the rest of the Fortress in. There are big openings in the walls where the branches formed almost perfectly round openings in some parts and smaller more elliptical or completely formless openings in other parts. Here and there colorful cloth is taut on lines throughout the large room, there are plants sprouting everywhere right out of the branches and the furnishing is rather simple: something to sit, something to sleep. That is pretty much it.

Except for the large console that dominates most of the room in its sharp diamond shape, topped of with a set-in carving of the Worldkiller’s screaming skull. Alex always hated that sigil but as she inspects it closer, she cannot help but admire it. From up close the sigil does not appear to be carved anymore but naturally grown from the wood.

“I would not touch that,” Reign advises her, sitting down on what probably is supposed to be the bed. Without waiting for a reply, she crosses her legs and leans back on her elbows, adding: “So, what are you here for?”

At the Worldkiller’s unintended display of confidence, Alex’ heart skips a beat. If she starts to think about the situation she currently is in, that she is actually able to _see_ and _touch_ Reign and Sam at the same time, her head will explode because this is simply too surreal. Seeing them side by side makes Alex’ head spin because they look like twins, so very similar in so many aspects and so starkly different in others. An image and a feeling flickers in front of her inner eye, a sensation, an idea of what it must feel like to touch and be touched by both of them at the same time and Alex unconsciously licks her lips. Only thinking about it sends her heartrate through the roof. Or the branches.

She shakes her head slightly to snap out of her thoughts and then she shares a warm smile with Sam before they step closer to the Worldkiller who stares at them with raised eyebrows.

They sit down to talk.

About many, many things, and Alex is more than mildly surprised how attentive Reign listens to them. That she even makes useful suggestions here and there. The more time passes the smaller the space between the three becomes and the quieter Sam becomes, too. By the time they have discussed the Worldkillers and the DEO and proper behavior around humans, especially Ruby, Sam rests her head on Alex’ shoulder and has her arms wrapped loosely around the redhead’s waist.

“Sam? Baby? Are you alright?”

Sam rubs her cheek against Alex’ shoulder and mumbles: “Just a bit tired.”

Alex casts a worried glance at Reign: “This must be the effect of her essentially carrying your consciousness, too. You should not remain here for much longer.” The Worldkiller says, calm eyes studying her twin attentively. Alex bites her lip, reluctantly accepting that she will not get what she actually came for, what she hoped to find in this place, but she will not put Sam’s health at risk for that. For some phantasy.

Alex tries to free herself from her girlfriend’s embrace: “Come on, Sam. Time for us to wake up. You need to get out of here.”

However, Sam tightens her hold on Alex with one arm while she curls her free hand around one of Reign’s wrists: “No,” she mumbles, “Before we can go, you must tell her that you _like_ her.” Alex isn’t sure who is supposed to say that or who of them looks more embarrassed. “We are in this together, right?” Sam continues, her voice sounding a bit stronger, a bit more steady, “The three of us. In the bad times and the good times.”

“What does she mean with _like_?” Reign asks, tugging Sam forward with her wrist which leads to Alex successfully and effectively being sandwiched between them. Alex’ heart beats a lot faster suddenly and speaking becomes as hard as quantum physics because Sam’s soft curves are molded into her back, long fingers settled on her thighs and gentle breathing ghosting over her sensitive ear. And when did Reign come this close? So close that her knees bump with Alex’ and that their fingers are almost touching on top of the bed.

Nervously, Alex sucks at her bottom lip, averts her gaze because she definitely cannot say this while looking the Worldkiller in the eyes: “Romantically.”

Reign still looks puzzled and Sam’s low laughter washes across Alex’ shoulder and her collarbone and makes her shiver: “She is just as dense as Kara. Are all Kryptonians like this?”

Then Alex feels how her girlfriend slips a hand under her shirt, long fingers splayed above her navel and the redhead thinks: To hell with it!

“Like this,” she husks, presses a hand against Reign’s chest and a kiss against her lips. The Worldkiller hesitantly kisses back while Sam tightens her hold on Alex’ waist, places long, lingering kisses against her neck. Panting slightly, Alex retreats and mumbles: “I don’t want to stop doing this with you. Or with Sam.”

At that, Sam bites gently into the crook of Alex’ neck, and the redhead briefly leans her head back, resting it on Sam’s shoulder behind her, still able to see how Reign’s pupils dilate. Alex curls her fingers into the collar of Reign’s dress and says through half-lidded eyes: “I want _both_ of you,” then she gasps because Sam blew cold air onto the spot she just sucked on until the skin turned purple, “And I belong to _both_ of you,” Alex whispers as she moves her other hand across Sam’s arm that is still tightly wrapped around her midsection.

That seemed to be the final straw for Reign because in the blink of an eye she rushes forward and kisses Alex with so much _longing_ that it makes the redhead dizzy in the best way possible. Reign’s and Sam’s hands suddenly seem to be everywhere, in Alex’ hair, on her stomach, her chest and her skin is on _fire_ and she is _melting_ under their touch. When the Worldkiller’s tongue enters her mouth, she cannot suppress a low moan and a second moan when Sam sucks on the spot right under her right ear, the one that always leaves her trembling and gasping.

She doesn’t know where to put her own hands, curls one around Reign’s neck to bring her even closer and the other into Sam’s long hair. Then Reign sucks on her bottom lip, pulls her forward by the hips so that the redhead slides down in Sam’s arms and the Worldkiller begins to place hungry, feverish kisses across her neck and collarbones. Alex must squeeze her eyes shut because her body is shaking, and she knows she cannot take much more. Her next groan is smothered by Sam’s mouth who kisses her upside down. Reign pulls on the redhead’s knees until Alex is closer to lying down against Sam’s legs than sitting up, pushes forward until she must part her legs to make room for the Worldkiller. Reign strokes her hands long and hard across Alex’ quivering thighs, across her chest, nudges Sam carefully aside to reclaim Alex’ lips in another open-mouthed kiss. Meanwhile, Sam is kissing her jaw, moans in to her ear, one hand tugging on the redhead’s short hair and the other gliding over Alex’ chest.

Alex is left unable to say whose hand moves roughly over her thigh, whose nails bury into the space between her shoulder blades, whose tongue she is sucking on or whose lips and teeth are bruising her neck. The only thing she knows is that this is by far _better_ and _hotter_ and more _magnificent_ than she ever imagined and that she is already so close and so ready to fall apart for them. Both their names drip from Alex’ lips like the sweetest honey. They fall into a steady rhythm in their movements, when Reign pushes, Sam pulls and Alex’ body shifts accordingly as if by magic. She inches closer and closer to coming undone for Sam and Reign.

Suddenly, though, her eyes fly open and she is back on the Legion ship, back in the real world and Reign is gone and the absolutely _overwhelming_ and _mind-blowing_ and _breathtaking_ sensation of being touched by the Worldkiller and her girlfriend at the same time is nothing more than a faint imprint on her skin. She feels like crying out in frustration. Instead she jerks upward in the chair, her chest heaving, her eyes dark and wide with lust and her voice barely more than a hectic, rough gasp: “No! What did you do?”

Sam is equally worked up in the chair next to Alex, with an absurdly deep blush covering her whole face, the tips of her ears and even her cleavage, frantically trying to catch her breath and unable to say anything.

“Your vital parameters reached alarming values and you have been in there way longer than I would advise as healthy,” Brainiac explains with a sour expression.

Groaning and with an arm over her flushed face, Alex falls back into the chair.

* * *

 

 

A couple of days later, Sam and Lena enter the DEO after just having discussed L-Corp’s fiscal plan for the upcoming quarterly period with the remaining board members for hours and hours to no end.

Neither of them is in the mood to be the subject to more than a few judging glances when it is finally after hours for them and they already had to endure that for most of the day. Although, Sam is the target of most of these suspicious stares, Lena gets her fair share, too, because some people at the DEO attribute more importance to her last name than to her personality. But Alex called during lunch break, _nervous_ and _agitated_ and said they came up with a plan to lure Purity and Pestilence out.

The plan is explained surprisingly fast and bears surprisingly many problems but it is the best chance they have, they must use the element of surprise to their advantage as long as they can. Lena will stay at the DEO with Winn to support everyone from afar, the Legion is too occupied with their ship to help and that leaves Supergirl, J’onn, Alex and Reign to face the Worldkillers. As everyone else gears up, Sam makes a quick phone call to Mrs. Queller, Ruby’s caretaker. Reluctantly, the older woman agrees to look after the teenager a couple of hours longer today and then suddenly Ruby is on the phone, demanding to know what is going on.

Guiltily, Sam explains the situation to her daughter because if anything happens Ruby should at least know where to go or whom to call.

“ _I want to talk to Reign_ ,” Ruby urges stubbornly, sticking to her guns until Sam can convince the Worldkiller to at least talk to the teenager on the phone.

“ _Bring my moms back to me. You hear me? Keep them safe_!” Ruby orders through the phone, her voice mostly strong and steady and only a little scared. Reign gives her a tight-lipped one-word answer before slipping back but Sam’s heart almost breaks because Ruby said _moms_.

“I love you, baby. Ok? I love you so much,” Sam repeats over and over again until Alex finds her and the brunette shoves the phone into her hands. Alex says a couple of soothing, loving words to Ruby, too, before she ends the call. Only then does Sam notice that her girlfriend is in a seemingly futuristic suit, mostly in black and grey and knee-high boots.

“Like what you see?” Alex grins at her and Sam struggles evidently with looking back into her eyes.

“It’s _tight_ ,” is the only thing the CFO can think of.

Alex ducks her head in mild embarrassment: “It’s the damn thing Winn and I risked out lives for when Purity attacked the DEO.”

Sam pushes a hand against the hard, leather-like material across her chest and says a little lost in thought: “I hope it does its job.”

Alex nudges her head upwards by placing a thumb under Sam’s chin, gives her a reassuring, little smile: “It will,” then she lifts her other arm and adds: “This is yours by the way.”

Sam stares at the black suit folded in her girlfriend’s arm, the two-colored cape and the mask.

“Or rather Reign’s, you know, uhm, both of yours?” Alex rambles a little.

After Sam put it on, she can barely recognize herself and the various alarmed stares she receives when she follows Alex to meet up with the rest of the team makes her skin crawl.

 

* * *

 

 

The warehouse looks barely any different than the last time Reign was here.

It cannot be more than a handful of weeks or even less but to her it feels like a life-time ago. She can still hear the gentle rhythm of the waves, lapping against the wooden piers outside, the number of smashed in windows increased and there are new writings on the walls. She stands in the same floor Purity did the last time she was here, next to the same desk and waits. Her mind is spread wide over the city, races with the wind to find out who is faster of them, follows the crackling electricity that jumps from sky-scraper to sky-scraper and moves in sync with the city’s roaring breathing. She hears everything, every siren, every cry, every heartbeat, can taste spring rain on her lips and sense every shift in the atmosphere on her skin and in her bones. Since she merged with Sam, she has not been able to take off in the middle of the night to take the world in like this, to take Earth in like this and all its sensations and wonders. She has been too content in the warmth of her host’s bed, in the warmth that surrounds Alexandra like an aura.

The longer she soaks everything up in her, though, the more she must admit that she missed this, this falling and blending with life around her. Then she shifts her focus and listens to the three heartbeats that are positioned at different ends of the unworthy place and when her ears tune in on Alex’ calm and steady heartbeat, Sam grows anxious in her.

“Stay calm, Samantha,” Reign murmurs between tightly clenched teeth. After Alexandra, Sam is the second human she came to treasure but tonight they must all keep a clear head and Sam’s jittery emotions are not helping Reign the slightest. The next moment, two figures descend through a hole in the roof and land gracefully in front of her.

Purity is the first to open her mouth: “Our long-lost sister finally returned. How good to see you, Reign." Reign’s muscles tense as she forcefully pushes any thoughts about Sam and Alexandra out of her mind. To be convincing, she must go back to her roots, must become a _Worldkiller_ again.

“I have realized that I tried too long to extinguish my host by myself,” she says in a voice void of any emotion, hard and cold, “I need the help of my sisters to silence Samantha Arias once and for all.”

Purity and Pestilence regard her with sinister, rejoicing smiles. “Let us aid you, Reign. Let us free you,” Pestilence says in a tempting voice.

More tempting, however, than her sister’s voice is the pull to actually follow through with her words. To reunite with her sisters, unleash their combined power and force this city to its knees. It is as if Purity’s and Pestilence’s presence calls the Worldkiller back forth in Reign, makes her remember her mission, her purpose, the very reason she was created for. Oh, and that call is _so_ alluring and _so_ tempting. She is itching to simply give in to it.

She is pulled from her thoughts when Sam withers in her: “ **Reign? What is happening here?** ”

Reign can feel the grip on Sam’s consciousness loosening, as if her host is slowly slipping away from her. Sam is downright scared, and Reign absolutely cannot have that right now. Purity and Pestilence come nearer to her, reach their hands out.

“We are finally united. The Trinity is complete. Now we can purify this planet,” Purity says, her white eyes dancing with excitement.

The urge in Reign is becoming too strong to resist, every fiber in her body screaming to lift her own hands, to reach out to her sisters and as much as she fights and protests and struggles, she cannot do anything against it. At the edge of her mind, she suddenly can make out new, unfamiliar sounds. Heartbeats, appearing on the premises one after another, heartbeats that do not belong to the people she arrived with here. Searing hot like a piercing arrow, fear slices through her heart and into her blood: Alex.

Grinding her teeth and hoping that the strange technical device in her right ear works, Reign hisses: “There are humans coming closer. Who are they?”

She hears gasps and curses crackle in her ear, but she cannot listen to what they say because restraining herself from tipping over into _blind_ , _red_ , rage and still talking to her sister is hard enough.

“They are our worshippers,” Pestilence explains with arrogance dripping heavily from every word.

“They think we are Gods,” Purity adds with pride.

“We _are_ Gods,” Reign adds, fighting to keep herself from losing her mind.

“Yes, you are. And each of us believes that you will make this world a better place.” A figure in a black cloak appeared at the far end of the room, his arms raised, and his palms turned upwards. Reign remembers him from the prison where she fought against the Daxamite and the girl from Saturn and from the last time she was in this very warehouse.

“Coville,” she says.

“It is so wonderful to be able to meet you again. We have all been waiting for your return, oh daughter of Yuda Kal.”

Reign exhales hard and short breaths through her nose, frantically searching for Sam inside her but her host is weak, weaker than is good for both of them: “All of us?”

“Yes. All of us,” Coville repeats with a low bow and unexpectedly several humans step out of the shadows behind him, dressed all in the same wide, black cloaks, almost thirty or even more. Reign swallows.

Then Purity steps closer to her again, stretches her hand out: “Join us, Reign. Join us and we will make this city _burn_.” Reign raises her own trembling hand to meet her.

“Not so fast!” a booming voice suddenly shouts.

 

* * *

 

 

The very second before Reign can join her sisters, Kara steps out of the shadows together with J’onn and Alex.

The Worldkiller increasingly looked like she needed someone to punch some sense back into her and, by all means, Kara would be _exhilarated_ to oblige. Reign lets her hand drop immediately and the expression on her face is almost pained. Having so many humans between herself and the Worldkillers is deeply unsettling Kara and the menacing smile on Purity’s face is only adding to the bad feeling gnawing at her insides.

“The Kryptonian savior. What do you want here?” Purity mocks.

“You are unable to harm us anymore. We are almighty, now that Reign is back at our side,” Pestilence taunts, playfully moving her long fingernails against each other.

“At your side?” Alex asks defiantly, while she points her gun at Purity, “Maybe you should rethink that again!”

For a brief movement, confusion flashes across Purity’s face then Alex nods and Reign pulls something from behind her back. When Alex pulls the trigger on her gun, sending a red-sun grenade right through the cultists, Reign throws a red-sun grenade at her sisters. Coville lets out an agonizing scream and then the world flashes blinding, bloody red all around them. When the smoke and the flash clear, Purity and Pestilence look visibly shaken and harried, but they are still standing and foaming with rage.

“Why does this never work?” Alex remarks drily as they must watch helplessly how Purity turns on Reign.

“You traitor!” the Worldkiller shouts, her voice shrill and accusing and the next second she pours her exasperation into a wall shaking sonic blast.

“How _dare_ you turn your back onto your own sisters!” Pestilence seethes and advances onto Reign, who struggles against Purity’s blast.

“Keep Supergirl from them. The Trinity must be complete!” Coville orders his cultists and to Kara’s absolute horror many of them draw guns from under their cloaks. Not one of them is without a weapon and they start to fire without hesitation. Kara has just enough time to shove Alex behind a couple of rotting desks before the first bullets hit the ground with hissing noises all around them. Purity’s and Pestilence’s outcries make the air ring and vibrate:

“You are a Worldkiller, Reign! And you will _never_ be anything else!”

More fighting noises reach Kara’s ears and with a long, frustrated sigh she must admit that their plan turned out complete shit. Out of nowhere, Alex pulls roughly at her suit, yanks her forward and her face is so scared that Kara fears for a moment that her sister has been hit by a bullet: “Help her!”

Kara stares at her with crinkled brows for a second until Alex flails her hand in the direction of the fighting Worldkillers and repeats, even more desperate: “You must help her!”

A new round of bursts makes the wood splinter next to them. “I cannot leave you and J’onn in this hail of bullets,” Kara retorts heatedly.

But Alex’ expression becomes more and more frenzied, her eyes growing wider with fear each time the sound of connecting bones reaches their ears: “J’onn and I can handle the cultists. You must help Reign.”

More splinters fly through the air and Kara gets a handful of sawdust in her face. Alex’ hands land on her shoulders and her hold is stronger than Kara thought possible for a human: “Kara, please,” she sucks in a shaky breath and flinches at the next outcry from one of the Worldkillers, “Please.”

After a long moment, Kara eventually nods, says, “Stay safe,” before she barrels through the cultists and straight into Pestilence. It is like a fist closing around Kara’s heart when she moves the fight with the two Worldkillers further and further away from the cultists and the exploding, ear-shattering rattling of the gunfire simply does not stop. Reign is trading punches with Purity while she tries to avoid Pestilence’s claws as best as she can and resumes to fling her into wall after wall instead. At the next punch, Kara lunges so wide that Pestilence hits the wall with such a deafening bang that she crashes right through it and the wall collapses on top of her. With a hammering heart, Kara searches for Reign. She spots the Worldkiller a couple of feet away from her, her back in the dust with Purity’s hand wrapped tightly around her throat and a steady sonic blast hitting Reign, ready to melt her face off. Kara pushes off the ground and slams her shoulder so hard into Purity that she is send flying to the other end of the warehouse. Instantly, Kara drops to her knees by Reign’s side: “Hey? Are you ok?”

When she gets no response, she places a hand on Reign’s shoulder and there is terror climbing up her ribcage. Alex will kill her, if something happens to Reign or Sam.

“Reign, can you hear me?” Kara shakes her forcefully.

Reign jerks on the ground, curls into a ball and cradles her head in her hands: “It’s Samantha.”

The Worldkiller pounds a fist into the concrete with so much force that it leaves a crater.

“She is terrified. I can’t move,” Reign presses through gritted teeth.

Kara casts a panicked glance over her shoulder, spots her sister who just disarmed one of the cultists and throws him on his back in one swift half turn.

“Stay here,” she says to Reign, although the Worldkiller apparently is not able to move anyways, “I’ll get Alex.”

Reign can only weakly protest before Kara is gone in a flash.

 

* * *

 

 

The cultist’s expression in front of her is cold and unreadable and Alex cannot find one good reason why any sane person would do the thing she is doing.

The woman will await a lifelong prison sentence if she even survives this massacre. She clutches a thick steel pipe in her hands and the second she is about to strike Alex, she is ripped back by her cloak and vanishes somewhere in the shadows. Kara appears in front of her all of a sudden, gasping and hectic, instantly pulling at her arm: “Come with me!”

Alex quickly surveys their surroundings, sees how the cultists close in on them, how J’onn can barely keep them at arm’s length without seriously injuring them: “Why?”

“It’s Sam and Reign,” Kara says distraught, “Something is wrong.”

Without hesitating any further, Alex lets herself be pulled along. As soon as she is by Reign’s side, Pestilence stalks towards them, her face an ugly, contorted grimace without a last glimmer of humanity. With a nod, Alex indicates for Kara to hold her off, then she turns to Reign: “Reign? Can you hear me? What is wrong?”

Suddenly, something crunches behind Alex and when she turns around she must see to her horror how Purity climbs back into the building through a hole in the wall. Reign grunts and rumbles: “Samantha,” her whole body tenses, she becomes as stiff as a board but cannot move, ”Samantha is panicking. I cannot move.”

Alex casts another glance over her shoulder, curses repeatedly as she sees that Purity noticed them. Alex gets up on shaky legs, points her gun at the Worldkiller and feels instantly reminded of their last standoff in the DEO. She gulps and reaches her hand towards Reign: “Take my hand. And make her listen to me.” It takes too much effort and time for Reign to place her trembling hand in Alex’ but once the redhead feels the clammy fingers between her own, she holds on tight.

“Sam? Baby, it’s me.” Reign groans helplessly in the dust, so Alex continues, her eyes trained on the other Worldkiller who comes closer and closer to them. Kara is nowhere in sight and J’onn has his hands full with the cultists.

Alex swallows: “You must listen to me. I know you are scared. I know that this is terrifying for you, but you must trust Reign.” The Worldkiller’s hand twitches slightly. “Trust her to do the right thing just as I trust her because I really, really need her by my side right now.” Alex’ hand that holds the gun, no, her whole arm begins to tremble because Purity is stretching her arms wide from her body, inhales deeply and, Rao damn it, Alex’ ammo has run out. She tightens her hold on Reign’s hand: “Sam, please.”

Purity inhales deeper and Reign rumbles in a warning voice: “Samantha…”

The next second, the air itself begins to shake and shiver and Alex can see the approaching sonic wave, already trying to make peace with her life before suddenly her world tilts backwards. In one swift motion, Reign pulls on her hand and while Alex is suspended in air for the fraction of a second Reign curls sideways, pulls Alex with her so that the Agent is safely pressed against the Worldkiller's chest. When the sonic wave hits Reign’s back it is as loud as a canon and the force is almost as powerful, making Reign’s cape billow tight around them. Alex places a shaking hand against Reign’s cheek and her forehead against the Worldkiller’s and her heart breaks at the painful hiss and groan that Reign tries to suppress. When the air becomes still around them again, they stare deep into each other’s eyes for several heartbeats until Reign is gone with a furious scream and when Alex gathered her thoughts enough to think again, she spots the two Worldkillers ten feet in the air above the warehouse punching life itself out of each other. Scrambling, she hurries back to J’onn.

When the last cultist is knocked out by the butt of Alex’ gun and J’onn zips cable tie tight around the wrists of the last one that is consciousness of them, the warehouse looks like an abattoir. Huffing, J’onn heaves the struggling cultist up and shoves him against a desk, next to several of his comrades: “I think that was the last of them.”

Alex takes a couple of deep breaths and wipes the back of her hand across her forehead: “Where are Supergirl and Reign?”

As if on cue, what remains of the roof comes rushing down at the other side of the floor. Alex sends a panicked gaze to J’onn who nods his head: “I can handle these. I will get them transported to the DEO. You go look for Supergirl and Reign.”

Alex gives him a determined thankful nod but before she can really begin sprinting through the shadows, he holds her back: “And Alex?” She turns to look at him, “Be careful.”

She nods again and then she is running through the awfully winding warehouse as fast as her burning lungs and cramping legs allow her to. She can only follow the noise because it is almost pitch black once she left the former office and there are no giant holes anymore in the ceiling. The corridors are narrow and everywhere does rubbish and broken furniture gather and old supply crates and the Agent can only move forward slowly. Way too slow for her liking. Eventually, she tumbles down a flight of stairs and another and ends up in a desolated inner courtyard. The fight continues in mid-air and all four participants look bloody and battered and bruised. Alex is about to scream at them when suddenly she hears a very familiar sound behind her.

A safety click.

“Do not move,” Coville says low and calm and menacingly.

Alex raises her arms and can sense that he is pointing a gun at her head.

“On your knees,” he orders and when Alex doesn’t comply right away because she is gauging her chances, he repeats his order, louder and more threatening and kicks at the inside of her right knee.

“Ok, ok.” Alex says hectically and drops down onto the cracked pavement. Suddenly, Pestilence slams into the ground not far away from them and when she spots them, she is laughing like a maniac through a mouthful of blood. Reign lands on the ground only seconds later and is about to serve her sister a good pounding when Coville speaks up:

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Reign spins on the spot and even across the distance, Alex can see how all color drains from her face. Then Supergirl lands between them and Purity on Pestilence’s side.

“Alex!” Kara exclaims, high and shrill and she is about to move the same moment as Reign. Suddenly, there is cold and hard metal pressed against the back of Alex’ head, and she swallows a heavy lump in her throat:

“Do not come nearer,” Coville threatens.

“There might be a way to save your pathetic human, Reign,” Purity taunts and Reign whirls around to her.

Then Pestilence stands up and spits blood in Kara’s direction: “Come with us, Reign. And we spare your precious Alex Danvers,” she repeats.

Alex curls her hands into fist on the concrete and shouts at the top of her lungs: “Don’t listen to them. They will kill me anyways. That’s how it always is.”

Coville increases the pressure with the gun and Alex winces and Reign almost explodes: “Do not touch her, you filthy piece of trash!”

“Do, as they say!” Coville screams and by now his voice lost his calm and sounds unsure and jittery.

“Don’t listen to him, Reign. Don’t go with them,” Alex implores her with tears stinging hot in her eyes. They cannot lose Reign again. Not when she just got her, not when it means losing Sam, too. She would rather let Coville shoot her. The fear is choking her, and she cannot say how long they can continue like this until either Reign or Coville snap.

“I will open your chest and make you watch when I eat your heart,” Reign screeches and the gun at the back of her head shakes violently.

Jesus Christ, hopefully he does not shoot her by _accident_. Reign is about to move, Alex can see it in the way she angles her body, how her muscles protrude but Kara holds her back, albeit being barely able to. The next moment, Reign turns around to Purity and Pestilence and Kara to Coville and they are back to back. Alex has the intense feeling that they plan something, and she stares at her sister, waiting and ready. Suddenly, she narrows her eyes and lowers her chin and Alex knows exactly what to do.

Then everything seems to slow down indefinitely although it happens in the blink of an eye. Kara tips her right index finger against the palm of Reign’s left hand and the Worldkiller jumps into motion. Faster than it is possible for Alex’ human eyes to follow, she propels straight into her sisters, grabs them by the throat and vanishes with them in the dark and cloudy night-sky. In the same moment, Alex drops her whole body to the ground and Kara uses her heat-gaze to blast the gun from Coville’s hand. With some cable tie of her own, Alex cuffs the whimpering Coville and then J’onn comes crashing through the door leading into the yard and Kara is hugging her so tight that she can barely breathe.

She cannot calm down, though, until a sudden fountain erupts on the pitch-black water and seconds later a completely drenched Reign lands a couple of feet away from her. Alex doesn’t think twice before she starts running across the yard and launches herself into the Worldkiller’s arms.

* * *

 

 

After they had all returned to the DEO, their ways split.

Imra and Mon-El were the firsts to leave, then J'onn bid his good-bye to visit his father. Reign was in a bad mood and wanted to leave as fast as possible. After a couple of short tests, she retreated, and Sam told Alex she would best take her home to calm down. In the car during the way to the suburbs, Sam murmurs: “You behaved really well today. I’m proud of you.”

Reign didn’t respond until they were almost in front of the house but eventually she says in a husky voice: “I do not want that Alexandra is forced to kill us. She could not handle that.”

After the long and awful and horrible day neither wants to speak about the fact that they almost lost each other around the other two Worldkillers.

Kara muttered something about wanting to see Lena not half an hour after Sam went home and that left Alex alone in her apartment for the first time in quite a while. She settles on the couch and mindlessly flicks through Netflix not really interested in watching anything. It has been a long day. A _disastrous_ long day. The frustration about their failed plan still swirls in her stomach and the irritation clouds her mind so much that she cannot concentrate. That another one of their plans failed and even almost led to the point where they would have lost Reign and Sam, makes her bristle. She isn't so naive that she thought Reign fighting along them would suddenly lead to an easy victory. Nonetheless, she hoped things would turn to the better for all of them. With a sigh, Alex tries to calm her inner turmoil. She needs a drink. When she rounds the couch, a cold breeze makes her shudder. She turns around and almost has a heart attack. "Jesus, Reign!”

The Worldkiller stands in front of her bed, looking completely innocent. To Alex’ surprise, she is not in her suit. Her hair is in a high ponytail again and she is wearing black without exception. In all likelihood the clothes belong to Sam. She is still wearing her dark lipstick, though, and the black eye-shadow. God knows where she dug out _that_ stuff.

"Hello," she says.

"Did you just break into my apartment through the window? Did you fly here like this?” Alex’ voice is doubling over. What if someone saw her like this? She has Sam's face after all.

"I walked,” the Worldkiller explains, coming slowly closer. Alex presses her back into the couch, not sure what the Worldkiller is up to.

"What are you doing here anyways? And I swear to God if you left Ruby alone!”

Reign rolls her eyes, crosses her arms in front of her chest: "Stop being so annoying. Sam took her somewhere before she let me take over.”

This actually calms Alex down. Her eyes dart all around the room, only resting split seconds on the Worldkiller, she's fidgeting on the spot. This is the first time they are alone without the world ending around them. Really alone, in the real world or as alone as they can be with Sam probably lurking at the edges of Reign's consciousness. "So, what do you want?" Alex mumbles.

Their last encounters were quite intense if one could say so. The roof, Krypton and earlier in the courtyard Alex could have smashed her lips against Reign’s with everybody watching and she would not have given a damn about it. Her face is growing hot. She gulps. Eventually, she dares to look at the Worldkiller again. Her eyes are impossibly dark.

 

* * *

 

 

Reign crosses her arms tighter in front of her chest.

It takes a lot of _strength_ to not simply pounce on Alexandra. Sam hammered it into her head that she must be _gentle_ with the human.

"If you hurt her, I will never let you do this again," she said.

She tries to, she really does but her fingers are itching. Itching to claw at Alexandra's skin, to sink them into her flesh and make her scream. And the way the human is so nervous that she cannot look at Reign doesn't make it easier for her. Controlling her powers is the most exhausting thing she ever had to do but if that is the price she must pay to be together with Alexandra then she will pay it. She would pay any price ten times over for her mate. Letting her arms drop, she steps closer to the human. Alexandra backs further into the couch and somehow her arousal is intoxicating. It's like a drug she gets high on.

“I talked with Samantha about you," Reign says in a calm voice. Her senses begin to overload with the human so close. The Worldkiller can hear her erratic heartbeat, can smell her earthy scent that is mixing with something salty and yet sweet, can see her pupils dilate until her eyes are more black than hazel.

"You did?" Alexandra stutters, her pale cheeks becoming redder and redder the closer Reign comes.

Sam explained to her that what she feels whenever she is around the human, this uncontrollable energy, this unsustainable hunger is called _desire_. Reign tried to argue with her host that it is impossible that a single human can make her feel so much, so _intensely_. When Alexandra is around her host, it is even worst, and Reign rarely has one clear thought. Her own lust for the redheaded human is maddening enough but coupled with Sam's feelings it all becomes too much and her mind collapses. Especially, after they kissed again, and she shared the human with Sam on the illusion of Krypton. When Alexandra and Sam mate, Reign cannot do anything except _watch_ and _feel_ and the hunger in her becomes unimaginable.

"She said I am annoying her because I think about you so much. That she cannot concentrate.”

Alexandra’s heart skips a beat and she draws in a stumbling, shuddering breath. Tentatively, Reign lifts her hands and places them on the human's hips, drawing her in. Alexandra bows her head, her eyes resting where the two touch, places her shaking hands on Reign's naked arms, glides her fingers from the wrists up towards her biceps. It sends a pleasant shiver through the Worldkiller. Her resolve is crumbling, her patience almost running out. She will make Alexandra hers tonight, no matter what. Their heads inch closer so that their noses are almost touching.

"And what do you want?” Alexandra's voice is trembling, and it is music in the Worldkiller's ears.

“You," she growls.

It is as if someone fired a starting shot and Reign lets go of all her inhibitions. She crashes their mouths together in a hungry kiss. Not wasting any time, she sucks Alexandra's bottom lip between her teeth, gripping her hips tighter, pressing her groin against the human's thigh. Alexandra's hands are on her cheeks, her grip just as hard, just as frantic. A fire explodes in Reign wild and violent. The second Alexandra parts her lips, Reign slips her tongue inside her mouth. The human is warm and wet and trapping Reign in a battle for dominance.

But Reign has _none_ of it. She is the one in control here and she lets her human know it by growling into her mouth. She scratches her nails over Alexandra's hip bones, hard, leaving marks she doesn't care about. She is not Sam, gentle, soft, sweet Sam who worships this body. Reign wants to break it and mark it and push Alexandra to her limits. Alexandra jerks her head back, arches her back even further into Reign's body and hisses. It riles the Worldkiller up even more. She is getting impatient. Her hands cannot reach enough naked skin and it is maddening.

Instead of kissing the human again, Reign takes a fistful of her hair, tugs her head to the side until Alexandra's creamy neck lies unprotected in front of her. She places hot, open-mouth kisses against the sensitive skin, runs her tongue from Alexandra's collarbone up to the shell of her ear, bites down where she feels her pulse jumping beneath her lips. Alexandra moans above her, buries her nails in the Worldkiller’s shoulders and Reign bites her again. Harder this time.  Everyone should see who Alexandra belongs to. As Reign sucks the soft flesh between her teeth, she can only think one word: Mine!

Alexandra would leave marks with her nails if the Worldkiller's body would allow it. Reign flicks her tongue over the spot she just bit, blowing softly on it and Alexandra withers in her arms: "Oh God!" she moans.

I will make you scream _my_ name. There is no God but _me_ , Reign thinks in her haze. Reign wants to touch her everywhere, kiss and mark every patch of the human's body. She lets go of Alexandra's hips and with one tug she rips her shirt open.

"Fuck, I liked that one," Alexandra curses out of breath.

"I don't care," Reign rumbles, reaching for the human's bra. The clasp turns to shreds between her fingers and when the bra slips from Alexandra's shoulders the human complains:

"I liked that one, too. Stop shredding all my clothes.”

Reign rakes her teeth over Alexandra's neck not getting enough of her taste, of her body: "Then take them off. They must be gone. Now!" she orders.

Alexandra stutters something incomprehensible but instead of taking her pants off, she hooks her arms around Reign's neck, tries to guide the Worldkiller's mouth back onto her own neck. The Worldkiller leans just enough back so that Alexandra can see her fuming expression: "I do not want to repeat myself, Alexandra.”

The human’s eyes widen either from arousal or fear and when Reign begins to hook her fingers between the hem of her pants and her skin, her hands fly down to stop her. “No... I…don’t stop..." she whimpers. "Don't stop,” she repeats.

When she feels that Alexandra begins to unbutton her pants, she continues her assault on the human's neck. The moment the pants begin to loosen around Alexandra's hips, Reign slides her fingers over the curve of her ass, squeezing the soft flesh in her hands. Blind, she hears how the pants drop to the floor. She glides her hands back to the human's hips, starts to tug down her panties.

"Those too," she commands, her mouth close to the human's ear.

This time Alexandra wordlessly obeys her. Once the panties are gone, too, Reign shoves her right thigh between Alexandra's legs. With one hand, she steadies the human, her fingers splayed against her back. With the other, she forcefully guides her hips down onto her thigh. At the contact, Alexandra lets out a delicious, guttural groan that drives Reign insane. Alexandra begins to roll her hips into Reign's thigh. Through her jeans the Worldkiller feels something warm and wet on her skin and the salty-sweet scent in the air around them gets stronger. Reign gets drunk on it. She leans the human so far back that she can kiss a wet path from her neck to her collarbone and finally to her breasts. Before Reign can take one of the rosy nipples into her mouth, though, Alexandra pulls on her hair so that they can look at each other.

"You too," she says, her voice low and husky. Her breaths short and hard.

"What?" Reign asks annoyed that she has to stop kissing her human. As an answer, Alex pushes her hands under Reign's T-Shirt, strokes her sides, lets her fingers dance over ribs and up, up, up. The skin Alexandra touches is on fire and Reign feels wet heat pool between her legs. With one hand she grabs Alexandra's wrists and yanks them from under her T-Shirt: "No," she growls.

"It’s unfair that I am the only naked one,” Alexandra says with furrowed brows, while she tries to wriggle her hands free.

Reign tightens her grip: "No, I am having my way with you tonight.”

Clearly not listening to her, the human begins to plant frantic, hungry kisses on Reign's neck. The Worldkiller cannot take this anymore, the heat in her abdomen is spreading into the rest of her body, making it harder and harder to control her powers. If she snaps, Sam will never let her touch Alexandra again. And when it comes to their shared mate, Reign's host is _stronger_ than her.

"Don’t be so greedy," Reign rumbles.

Alexandra stops her kisses to say: “I want to touch you, too.”

Part of Reign is thrilled at her words but another, bigger part recoils. Alexandra is a mess between her arms, trembling and hungry and most of all vulnerable. Being touched like this, leaves one naked in more than one sense. Reign realizes that the image of herself so utterly at Alexandra's mercy is upsetting her. Apart from that, it becomes harder and harder to control her strength and the Worldkiller fears that she might actually hurt her mate severely. So, no matter how pleading Alexandra looks at her, Reign’s answer is, “No”.

Suddenly, she remembers that she is wearing a belt.

 

* * *

 

 

Out of nowhere, Reign lets go of her and moves too fast for Alex’ eyes to see. The next moment she realizes that she cannot move her hands anymore, although both of Reign's hands are on her hips. Confused she raises her arms.

“Seriously?" she exclaims.

There is a belt wrapped tight around her wrists. She can barely move her fingers and no matter how much she pushes against her bonds she cannot loose them. There is a smug smile on the Worldkiller's face: "Samantha, said that I could do whatever I want with you.”

“Did she now?" Alex huffs, ignoring the pulsing between her legs. Shit, maybe this is really hot.

Then Reign steps closer again, presses her forehead against Alex' and for the first time tonight she looks concerned: "Do you want me to stop?” That is definitely the last thing she wants. She wants Reign, she wants to be taken in every possible way and it makes no sense to hide it anymore.

"No," Alex gulps.

"Then stop complaining,” Reign grunts.

And Alex succumbs to her. There is bliss in her surrender. Then they are kissing again with clashing teeth and frantic tongues. Alex' mind is reeling. The Worldkiller's dominance turns her on so much that she feels her own arousal sticky on the insides of her thighs. She needs Reign's fingers and mouth somewhere else and soon or she combusts. As if on cue, Reign grabs her ass and lifts her up.

On instinct, Alex wraps her legs around the Worldkiller's midriff, smearing her wetness against her taught stomach. Feeling awkward with her hands trapped between their chests, Alex hooks them behind Reign's neck. Never breaking their kiss, Reign walks them around the couch. She lets herself drop into the cushions with Alex trapped in her lap. She has no other choice but to spread her legs, her knees on either side of Reign's hips.

Once they sit, the Worldkiller drops her head and begins to kiss and bite Alex' chest and she pushes her back further against Reign’s eager, relentless mouth. When Reign swirls her tongue over one of Alex’ already impossibly stiff nipples, her whole body jerks. She throws her head back and moans: "Fuck!”

Reign closes her teeth around the nipple and sucks and Alex’ mind goes completely blank. The pain is delicious, just right between sweet and hurting and it's driving her insane. Desperately, she grinds her hips down but there is not enough of the Worldkiller to cause the friction she needs so much. Suddenly, she feels Reign's hands on her thighs, clawing at the sensitive skin and she eagerly pushes her hips forward. Without any warning, Reign shoves two fingers into her dripping core and Alex cries out. She is so wet that the sudden tightness doesn't even hurt. Reign retreats her fingers completely and Alex actually whines because she is so ready, her whole body tense and waiting and the Worldkiller refuses to give her what she craves. Reign stares up at her with something like awe in her dark eyes: "You are wet.”

Alex uses her bound hands to yank Reign's head forward, crashing their lips together. That she cannot touch the Worldkiller is torture. She feels like she is constantly reaching for something that is just out of her grasp. When they break the kiss to breathe, Alex husks: "That is how much I want you."

The next second Reign's tongue is in her mouth again and she slams her fingers into Alex a second time, smothering her moans with her mouth. But she doesn't move, her fingers straining against Alex' insides, filling her up and yet she is left hanging, so close to the edge.

Reign rumbles into her ear: "Ride them.”

Alex doesn't need to be told twice. She already understood that she only gets what she wants if she obeys. The Worldkiller will not listen to her begging, will not have mercy on her like Sam always eventually does. She would leave her here, alone on this couch, trembling and quivering and begging to be touched just one more time if Alex doesn't do as she is told. For reasons she cannot understand and does not want to understand right now her walls clench around Reign at the thought.

She begins to grind her hips down, rolling them onto Reign's fingers. Each time she lifts her hips so that the Worldkiller's fingers slip out of her slightly before slamming her hips down again. She stares deeply into the Worldkiller's eyes, wants to see how Reign watches her and what she sees is so much hunger. Reign looks like she wants to eat Alex up, like she will take and mark her until there is nothing left of her. Her gaze is so heated that Alex cannot keep the groan locked in her chest and it tumbles out of her mouth onto Reign’s lips like the sweetest melody.

Then she leans her head back, shifts her pelvis forward and gives Reign a show to draw that impossible hunger out of her. One of Reign's hands is gripping her hip so tight that she will leave a bruise, using it to push Alex down harder. Her tongue flicking over the nipple of her right breast. The Worldkiller gets needy in her movements, slowly letting her control slip and ever so slightly her touch begins to tip over into real pain. But Alex trusts her that she will not break her bones on accident or tear her skin apart in a sudden frenzy, that Reign will give her not more than she can possibly take. Alex cannot keep the slow pace up for long, any shame or inhibition forgotten. She feels her orgasm approaching fast and it will take not much more to send her over the edge.

But Reign refuses to touch her throbbing clit and Alex is trusting her to do it intentionally. With each thrust of her hips, she tries to push her clit against the palm of Reign's hand, but the pressure is never enough, and she is so close, so close.

"Say my name," the Worldkiller suddenly says.

Alex is so far gone that she asks numbly: "What?"

"When you come, say my name,” Reign repeats.

Her hungry gaze and her words are almost enough to make her fall apart. She can only nod. And then Reign pushes harder into her, palms her clit and Alex moans. It takes three more forceful pushes and then Alex completely falls apart in the Worldkiller's lap: "Reign!”

The name tumbles from her lips like a prayer.

Her orgasm washes over her in hot, white waves and Reign draws it out until Alex is a trembling, shivering mess in her arms. She collapses against the Worldkiller, rests her cheek against Reign's head, trying to get any air into her lungs.

She whimpers when Reign retreats her fingers. The Worldkiller cups her cheeks and makes Alex look at her. She still looks hungry and it sends a new shiver through the redhead. Then she lets her hands drop, glides her fingers over Alex’ shoulders, down her back, down her hips to her ass.

Rao, she is insatiable, the redhead thinks.

She has not even come down completely from her first orgasm and she can already feel her insides clench in anticipation of the next one. The Worldkiller squeezes and Alex cannot suppress another moan: “Reign.”

The Worldkiller forcefully yanks her forward until the redhead is pressed against her stomach. She buries her nails in the soft flesh of Alex' ass and the redhead hisses at the pain. But she cannot get enough of it. Stars explode in front of her eyes when she feels the tips of Reign’s fingers entering her from behind. Suddenly, the Worldkiller wraps her arms around Alex' hips and stands up.

Then her back hits the mattress and Reign plants feverish kisses on her chest, her stomach, moving southward.

 

* * *

 

 

In the next couple of hours, Reign sends her over the edge again and again.

Only ever stopping long enough so that Alexandra can catch her breath. But this time, when she begins to move her fingers again in the human's tight wetness, Alexandra mumbles: "Stop.”

She has thrown one arm over her face, but Reign can still see how flushed her cheeks are, how fast her breathing is. She pushes her other hand against Reign's sternum, keeping her at a certain distance. Somewhere during the past hours, Reign did lose her clothes after all and the human her ropes. Now, it almost feels like Alexandra touches her heart. It feels _nice_ and _warm_.

Wordlessly, Reign retreats her fingers, rests on her elbows and hovers unsure over the human. Alexandra keeps her arm over her face but snakes her other hand over the Worldkiller's shoulder, holding onto her in some way. The Worldkiller uses the time to take the human in. Her body is shivering and trembling, littered with red spots and angry scratch marks. Reign has marked her all over. There is lipstick smeared on Alexandra's mouth and eye-shadow smudged high against the inside of her thigh. Only now she notices, though, how worn out Alexandra actually is, how sensitive she has become. Reign strokes her fingers over Alexandra's sternum, down between her breasts and over her flat stomach. Alexandra jerks at the contact, her whole body shakes: "No, stop," she mumbles, "I cannot take anymore.”

Unsure what to do now, Reign begins to lift from the bed. She has not thought so far as to what she is supposed to do after she took the human. And with Sam suspiciously quiet in her, Reign is left absolutely clueless. Her feelings for Alexandra are _strong_ and _steady_ and the more time she spends with Sam and Alexandra the better she can grasp them but _mating_ , by the power of Yuda Kal, she worked purely on instinct on that one.

Before she gets very far, though, Alexandra's hands shoot out and grab her face. Reign looks at her with raised eyebrows.

"Don't go, " Alexandra says, with soft hazel eyes.

Reign gulps. This is not desire anymore but something else in the human's eyes. It is almost the same look she gives Sam. The Worldkiller doesn't think that she deserves to receive it. But then Alexandra tugs her down and they meet in a soft, gentle kiss. All of the hectic and frenzy is gone, and they are nothing but tender and soothing with each other. This kiss feels different than all the other ones, Reign can feel it deep, deep down in her heart. As she nuzzles her nose against Alex' before recapturing her lips, she thinks, "What is happening to me?”

She needs time to think about it, time to figure out what this night exactly means to her. What does Alexandra exactly mean to her. Because this tastes and looks and feels alarmingly much like _love_.

Kissing her human one last time, Reign falls back into Sam's unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

 

When Alex opens her eyes again, Sam is staring at her with sweet amber eyes, a soft smile playing around her lips.

"Hello, gorgeous,“ she whispers.

Alex smiles up at her completely dazed: “Hey.”

Sam climbs down from her girlfriend and lies next to her, on her stomach, supporting her weight on her elbows. Some of Alex' hair is stuck to her sweaty forehead and Sam pushes it out of her face.

"How are you feeling?”

Alex grins lazily: "I must admit she got me good. I can't move a muscle.”

Sam strokes her thumb over Alex' cheek, laughing: "Oh, I know she did. You should see your body."

The redhead facepalms, grinning behind her hand: "That bad?"

"You have no idea," Sam answers. She kisses her girlfriend briefly. "You looked so hot. I really thought about taking over at some point. You're such a bottom for her.”

Alex chuckles: "You would have missed the show then.”

And what a show indeed, the brunette thinks.

Then Alex yawns. Sam flops onto her back, opening her arms wide. Alex curls into her side, resting her head on Sam's collarbone before she can say:

"Come here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is seriously one of the longest yet and I know I already said that a couple of times.  
> There is so much going on that I really really hope you had fun reading it and got excited.  
> I would love to hear in the comment sections which part you liked best or simply drop me some Kudos or a lovely smiley.  
> Another three chapters to go!
> 
> PS: Anyone else already loosing their sh*t over the season finale? #SamLives am I right?


	16. Various

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The news are talking about a strange, dangerous incident in National City.  
> The DEO is preparing for the showdown.  
> Everything is coming to an end.
> 
> Are you ready for it?  
> (one conversation is basically this tumblr post : https://super--luthor.tumblr.com/post/170655995166)

* * *

 

The next morning could have been the beginning of something _good_.

It could have been the brink of better times for Alex, for all of them really. Times they could finally look forward to again and not dread. She has come so far with Sam in the past weeks and months, with Reign and with Ruby. Slowly but steadily they were coming together, bit by bit, step by step, as a _team_ , as _lovers_ and as a _family_. Somehow, they managed so far. With their friends and the DEO and most importantly Ruby. It was all falling into place, the pieces seemed to settle right where they belonged. And if they could overcome the Kryptonian apocalypse, too, their future would be nothing but _bright_ and _shining_.

But of course, things didn’t turn out the way you expect. They never do.

Instead of being the beginning of a better life, this morning is the prelude to the _end_.

When Alex wakes up slowly, contently tangled in the sheets with Sam securely wrapped in her arms, she has no clue. No clue that this morning rings in the worst months of her life. Months that will leave her more broken than she ever thought was possible. Months in which getting up each morning is a fight she rather wants to lose, months full of self-hatred and nightmares and pain. Months that are more horrible than her break-up with Maggie or her fight with Sam. More unbearable than the time when Kara and Lena will not be on speaking terms or when Ruby will leave for college or when the teenager will experience for the first time what a broken heart feels like. When Alex rolls out of bed reluctantly because her bladder is vehemently insisting on it, she doesn’t see any of it coming. Not by a mile.

Her body is aching all over from her night with Reign, there is a sweet heaviness in her bones, a certain sluggishness in her movements that makes her aware of all the spots the Worldkiller marked. As she stands stark naked in the small bathroom, she realizes just how _many_ spots there are. Yesterday, she has been so caught up in Reign that she never noticed but now, good _God_. Tentatively, she runs a hand over her body because just looking at them is somehow not enough and she must gasp here and there. Most of them are a light red or even pink by now and so small they are barely worth mentioning, others, though, are _larger_ and _darker_ and look like she has been hit one too many times at paintball. Her neck is the worst, the hickeys there so intense that they are at the far side of the color spectrum, _blue_ and _purple_ and one may even be _black._ She finds another one of those left of her navel and a third on the inside of her right thigh. She is left utterly speechless in front of the mirror. This is worse than after her first day at the DEO when the instructor wiped the floor with her.

Suddenly, her cheeks grow hot, the redness even reaching down to her neck, creating a colorful contrast against the numerous bruises in various shades, and cursing like a sailor, she presses her palms against her skin. There is no way she can cover this up, at least not with make-up and what is she supposed to say if Kara asks why she looks like she has multi-colored measles. For a couple of minutes, she stands in front of her reflection, eventually catching herself how she spreads her fingers until she can see the hickeys again.

She doesn’t care why exactly she has this particular feeling but somewhere deep inside of her she feels moved up to the point that she is close to crying a little and the most peculiar kind of desire. It is not the best word, not the most positive because Alex believes in personal freedom, but it is the most _fitting_ word, nonetheless. Reign has _claimed_ her. She has written her ownership all over Alex and it makes her feel satisfied and proud and wanted. It is a good thing, Alex didn’t bother to check her back before she carefully returns to bed. It looks like someone carved the Nazca Lines on her spine.

She gives up half-way between the edge of the bed and the covers to be stealthy because Sam yawns, rolls around and then her eyes flutter open.

“Morning,” she mumbles and Alex’ breath is lost somewhere in her lungs because Sam’s voice first thing in the morning is raspy and hoarse and became one of her favorite sounds since the first time she heard it.

“Hey,” she replies softly, settling against the headboard.

Sam instantly curls into her, places her arm over Alex’ thighs and a leg between her knees, making the redhead whish they would never have to get up. Last night, Sam didn’t tie her hair up like usually and it spills unhindered onto the pillow, tickling Alex’ skin, begging for the redhead to run her fingers through it. Sam lets out _pleased_ , _low_ noises as soon as Alex’ fingers touch her. They stay like that for some time, simply enjoying the quiet and each other until a question pops into the redhead’s mind.

“Did you send Reign?”

Sam smiles against her hipbones, places a feather light kiss on an especially mean hickey: “Would you mind if I did?”

Her body shakes briefly with laughter: “As if. I was just curious.”

Sam remains quiet, giving Alex the impression that she doesn’t want to talk about it until she murmurs: “After the fight, she wasn’t able to calm down.”

Alex’ hands come to a gradual halt because this sounds important. With a heavy sigh, the brunette continues: “I tried everything, but she wouldn’t listen. She was restless and agitated and that made _me_ restless, so that even Ruby noticed.” She shifts in Alex’ arms, cranes her neck until she can look into worried hazel eyes: “Ruby suggested that she comes here.”

Another laugh bubbles up in Alex’ chest: “I swear, that kid of yours.”

Then she feels Sam’s laughter beneath her fingertips: “Yeah, I know. Can’t hide anything from her.” After a short pause, she adds: “She was right, though. You calmed Reign down. You always do.”

Alex isn’t sure she did anything last night, apart from surrendering to the Worldkiller, nonetheless, pride blossoms again in her chest because she has such an effect on the Worldkiller, is able to help her girlfriend like this. Then her expression changes from pleased to serious: “Was it not weird for you? Seeing me with her?”

Sam sits up, one hand covering Alex’ on top of the covers and the other pressed lightly against the redhead’s naked chest: “I was not jealous, Alex, if that is your question.”

Alex’ gaze flickers, she looks down at their hands, at the covers pooling loosely around Sam’s hips and she _fidgets_ : “That’s the last thing I want,” she mumbles.

Sam smiles softly at her uneasiness, hiding her amusement about how very stubborn both Alex and Reign are about their feelings for each other, saying: “Look at me, baby.” Then Alex raises her eyes, looking positively awkward with furrowed brows and her bottom lip between her teeth and Sam can’t help herself but places a lingering kiss against her cheek. “What you have with Reign is just as important as what we have, ok?”

Alex nods hesitantly, compelling Sam to continue because she doesn’t want her girlfriend to regret anything: “Both of you needed to be together after what happened. And I know that you will need each other again in the future.” Alex is about to protest, Sam can sense it, so she shakes her head slightly not accepting any interruption: “And that’s ok, Alex. It’s not like you’re cheating on me with her.”

“Are you sure?” Alex asks with wide fearful eyes, seemingly unable to believe the brunette, “Because if…”

Sam cuts her off with a quick peck on the lips. “I am sure. And apart from the fact that watching you two is incredibly hot…” she momentarily trails off because Alex’ pupils dilate a bit and Reign wakes up and the memories of yesterday, the emotions and feelings, rush through her, leaving her speechless. She clears her throat in mild embarrassment, realizing that she apparently has a thing for voyeurism she didn’t know of. “In all honesty it calmed me down, too.”

Alex comes to her own sudden realization that between all the hectic, the almost threesome and the actual sex they never talked about the fight with Pestilence and Purity: “I’m so sorry you had to go through that yesterday.”

And she really is because she may be used to fighting aliens and diving out of hails of bullets and not knowing if you make it to the next day but Sam, by the love of God, sweet, innocent Sam is not.

“I kinda knew what I agreed to when I signed that NDA. It was just…” Sam cannot go on, sinks into Alex’ frame who immediately wraps her arms around her shoulders because the image of Alex kneeling on the cracked concrete with a gun pointed at her head involuntarily flashes in front of her inner eye. “It was horrible seeing you like that knowing that I couldn’t do anything about it.”

Alex places a kiss against her temple to silence her erratic heart. It’s mostly her fault that Sam got dragged into this, is not merely caught in the crossfire of this war but pushed right to the front, the first line. “You don’t have to…,” she mumbles in a shaky voice, “We could find another way.”

Abruptly, Sam sits up straighter, her expression one of bewilderment and confusion: “What are you talking about? You need Reign.”

There is a quiver in her voice that unsettles Alex, the emphasis on the Worldkiller’s name that doesn’t feel right. She puts her hands on Sam’s shoulders, her gaze steady and unshaking, saying: “We need you, too. Just as much as her.” Sam’s eyes widen for the smallest fraction, but Alex sees is still, the tiniest notion of uncertainty that she wants to wipe out just as fast as it clouded those beautiful amber eyes: “Don’t you ever think that we don’t need you, Sam.”

Sam retreats, pulls her legs up so that she is kneeling, her hands in her lap, her expression unreadable: “I’m not of any help against the Worldkillers or Coville’s cultists. I can’t fight like you guys.”

Her voice is so small that Alex’ heart clenches painfully and her fingers wind between Sam’s automatically: “You are a _fighter_ , baby. You are the most _badass_ of us all.”

Sam tilts her head, scrunching her eyebrows in disbelief: “That’s not true.”

Alex shakes her head: “It is.” Then her lips crack into a smile: “You’re the one who has to put up with Reign each day. _That’s_ a fight.”

The playful ring in her voice, the wide grin and the overflowing adoration in Alex’ dancing hazel eyes is enough to chase Sam’s troubling thoughts away and when Reign frets morosely: “ **She wasn’t complaining about me last night** ,” she feels her own mouth stretch into a smile.

Each time she gets to witness this smile, Alex’ heart flutters, it never gets old or loses any of its shine because it reaches Sam’s eyes and shows her dimples and lights up the redhead’s whole world.

“You idiot,” the brunette mumbles, blinking happy-tears away.

In that moment, Alex tastes something _burning_ on the tip of her tongue and a feeling _roaring_ loud and sure in her heart. She presses her lips together because this word, this confession, is powerful and meaningful and dangerous. The last time, she said it too early even though she has been as sure about it as she is now. This time, she doesn’t want to say it out of the wrong reasons or in the wrong moment and although this moment feels perfect for such a declaration, she struggles to keep quiet. Not yet, she reminds herself, not now. It will be the _first_ thing she says to Sam when all of this is over, when they made it through. The _very_ first thing and she will shout it from every rooftop of every building in this city. But for now, she pulls the word _love_ back from the tip of her tongue, leans forward instead to press a long kiss against Sam’s warm mouth and maybe, just maybe Sam can taste the feeling on her lips.

Tomorrow, when all is done, when the dust settles, and the survivors count their losses, and the dead are put to eternal rest, Alex will think back to this moment and the regret will _crush_ her.

She doesn’t know this now, though. Now, she is filled with so much love for the amazing woman in front of her that it spills over and over into kiss after kiss.

However, their quiet morning gets interrupted way too soon. When Sam eventually runs her hands through Alex’ short hair and straddles her lap and Alex’ fingers wander higher and higher up Sam’s back, both their phones go off somewhere in the apartment.

“Seriously?” Alex growls after she released Sam’s bottom lip.

Slightly out of breath, the brunette says: “As much as I wish to make you bottom for _me,_ it could be Ruby or Kara.”

Before Alex can latch onto her, Sam quickly climbs out of the bed in search of her pants. Her girlfriend whines “No,” in the same moment that Reign orders equally childish: “ **No! Get back in the bed**!”

Amused by their antics, Sam laughs both their protest off with a shake of her head. They have it _so_ bad for each other and don’t even want to admit it. She finds her girlfriend’s phone first, on the coffee table, tossing it on the bed with ease. Alex lets out a loud “Oof!” when it lands on her stomach.

Mildly annoyed but with a smug smirk planted on her face because Samantha Arias walks around her apartment as naked as the day she was created by the Kryptonian priestesses, Alex takes the call: “I swear to God, Kara, if this is not impor-“

Her sister cuts her off the same moment Sam finds her own phone, tucked into the pocket of her pants that ended up on the stove somehow. Clearly that was Reign’s fault. Kara’s tone is deadly serious, making Alex sit up straighter immediately: “ _Turn on the TV_.”

Wrapping the covers more or less successfully around her body, Alex gets up, too: “Why? Did something happen?”

Sam casts her a similar confused glance while Lena’s voice comes faintly through the speaker.

“ _The news. Channel one_ ,” Kara says tensed.

When Sam finds the correct channel and the initial flicker of the screen settles, both women let out shocked gasps. If Sam had not caught them on time, the covers around Alex’ would have ended up on the floor. Wide-eyed and speechless, they stare at the screen. “What is that?” Alex hisses down the line while Sam mumbles:

“Yeah, yeah. We see it.”

Kara lets out a long, exhausted sigh: “ _It appeared sometime in the early morning hours. We will evacuate._ ”

Alex tightens her grip on the phone, rubs the remaining sleep out of her eyes, saying: “We are on our way.”

 

* * *

 

 

In less than half an hour, the two sit in an unmarked SUV with tinted windows and while Alex listens to the evacuation plan currently hatched at the DEO via the hands-free device, Sam gently but persistently persuades her daughter on the phone that breakfast at Kerala’s falls short today.

After Alex ended the call, she explains her personal evacuation plan, so to speak, in an absolutely professional manner, leading Sam to thank all the Gods she can name for the fact that her girlfriend is an Agent: “We’re gonna pick up Ruby then we pick up some things from your place. Better for a couple of days. And then no one leaves the DEO until this god damn shit situation is over.”

Normally, Sam would have scolded her, because _language_ , but this is exactly the way she would describe the situation, too. Reign is equally nervous and stressed, giving Sam a hard time to not overtly fidget with her bracelets. She feels like they are hurdling towards the showdown with Purity and Pestilence at an alarming speed and she is in no way ready for it. The three of them barely made it unscathed out of the last fight. What if someone pulls the trigger this time? What if the link with Reign is cut this time?

She rubbed so intensely with the bracelets over her wrists that the skin is red and raised and just like last time it is Alex who pries them gently apart by lacing their fingers: “Don’t worry. We’ll come up with a plan.”

Gulping, Sam covers her girlfriend’s hand with both her own, says which highway they should take instead of voicing Reign’s concern that “ **All your plans in the past failed.”**

She stares out at the window with a troubled expression while she lowly discusses with Reign how they can strengthen their bond, make it untouchable to the other Worldkillers. It is not a full-fledged panic, yet, however Sam notices that the traffic leading outside of the city center is almost as thick as the commuting traffic to the inside. In the rearview, she can make out the faint glimmer, far in the distance, of what she saw on the news not an hour ago and it is sending an ice-cold shiver down her spine.  The further they leave the city behind, the tighter the traffic becomes and not long after the first exits, the highway is so packed that they are stuck.

After one minute, Alex drums her fingers against the steering-wheel, after two her left knee begins to jump and after three she is reaching into the glove compartment, with an exasperated huff, retrieving a mobile flashing blue light, the kind Sam only knows from movies. Growing more and more annoyed, Alex rolls the window down and sticks the blue light to the roof of the car. The next second, she turns on the flashlight and the sirens, almost giving Sam a heart-attack, because, damn those things are _loud_ and then the cars part for them like the Red Sea.

“Isn’t that only for emergencies?” Sam asks hesitantly.

Alex doesn’t verbally answer, only grips the steering-wheel tighter along with her jaw. “ **I would say this is an emergency,** ” Reign comments dryly.

When they exit the highway, Alex turns the light off and then she puts the car to a halt on the side of the street next to the driveway of Kerala’s home. The motor is still running as Sam jumps out and jogs to the front door, already knocking before she comes to a complete stop. Kerala’s mother, Izma, instantly rips the door open, clad in a beautiful, colorful shalwar kameez, her gaze fearful: “Samantha,” she says as a short greeting before stepping aside, “Does you picking Ruby up this early have anything to do with what they say on the news?”

Sam is in no mood to have a long, complicated conversation with the other woman right now, although they like each other well enough. It’s simply not the right time: “Yes,” she says tight-lipped, “Is she finished?”

Izma shouts up the stairs: “Ruby, sweetie, your mother is here!”

Moments later, her daughter bounds excited down the stairs, seemingly not having watched the news and wraps her arms tight around Sam’s waist. The teenager greets her gushingly, ready to tell her a hundred stories but reluctantly Sam cuts her excited ramble off: “Baby, why don’t you go to the car? Alex is waiting for you.”

At the mention of the Agent’s name, Ruby’s eyes light up and with a quick, over the shoulder goodbye, she is flying to the car. “Alex?” Izma asks irritated and Sam briefly freezes then quickly decides that she absolutely doesn’t care, “Who is Alex?”

Sam stares at the front of the car, through the passenger window where she can see the redhead greeting her daughter: “She’s my girlfriend. FBI Agent. It’s fresh.”

Izma places a hand over her heart, gasping: “Girl…girlfriend? FBI?”

Sam nods her head brusquely not inclined to prolong this conversation. After a curt good-bye and thank you, Sam is half-way down the driveway before she whirls around: “You have family in the area? That lives a little further away? Maybe the east coast?”

Izma looks at her with a puzzled expression: “Two brothers and an aunt in Tucson.”

That is definitely not the east coast but Sam cares enough about the family of her daughter’s friend that she says in a hoarse voice: “Take Kerala and Abthi and stay with one of your relatives for a couple of days. Maybe a week.”

Izma nods several times in the doorframe: “Thank you, Samantha.” Sam nods at her one last time then she hurries back to the car and as soon as the door is closed, Alex revs the engine, leaving two rubber stains on the sidewalk.

 

* * *

 

 

They explain as much of the situation as they can to Ruby on the short ride to the Arias house.

She listens quiet and grown-up but somehow Sam gets the impression that her daughter simply sniffs a chance for another sleepover and doesn’t see the grander scheme. Then again, Ruby is frightening smart for her age, probably understanding what is going on better than she lets on.

Two hours later, they enter the DEO which is in a complete chaotic state of emergency. Everyone is on their feet, either carting around supplies or guiding around apparently terrified relatives or standing, backs pressed in a nook or corner, a bit further off comforting each other. It takes a bit of effort eventually, though, Alex leads them to a ready room. It reminds Sam of similar rooms she saw on TV, in hospital dramas, but a bit larger and modern. There are several bunk beds pushed against the walls, a door leading to the toilets and a small kitchen unit, separated by a three-quarter partition. It could have been worse.

Ruby is the first to spot a backpack that most definitely belongs to Winn that is littered with nerdy videogame patches at the foot of one untidy bunk bed and another two beds appear to be occupied, too, looking neater than Winn’s. It seems J’onn and his father will stay at the DEO, too. Full of energy, Ruby throws her own backpack on the top bunk of the bed next to Winn, Alex drops her bag on the lower bed, motioning with her head towards the door: “Let’s look for the others.”

They find them one floor down, in the central office, all staring with tight faces at the huge flat screen wall. Ruby is running ahead of them and all heads turn when she shouts: “Winn!”

He fully turns just in time to not be overthrown by the energetic teenager, huffing: “Oh. Hey, kid,” patting her awkwardly on the head.

When Alex and Sam reach the group, Ruby lets go of Winn, staring confused at Kara, who is in her civilian clothes: “What are you doing here, aunt Kara?”

The blonde sends a panicked gaze to her sister, who simply holds her hands up then nervously adjusts her glasses and clears her throat: “Well, you see…”

“Don’t you think it’s time to drop the show?” Alex asks, already scanning the CCTV recording next to J’onn and Imra.

“What show?” Ruby asks with big eyes, looking between the adults.

“She knows how to keep a secret, Kara,” Sam says to the nervous blonde, prompting Ruby to ask:

“What secret?”

“Lena doesn’t know,” Kara mumbles at which Sam’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and Kara adds: “She cannot tell Lena,” then she turns to the teenager who almost jumps on the spot with buzz:

“What can I not tell aunt Lena?”

With most of them staring at her expectantly, Kara has no other choice but to slowly lift her shirt until the red and blue sigil is visible underneath.

Ruby is momentarily left speechless, her eyes as wide as saucers, her mouth hanging open, one of her hands motioning wildly between Kara and her mother. “Did she short-circuit?” Winn asks, waving a hand in front of the teenager’s face, “Earth to Ruby. You okay?”

“Give her a second,” Sam says not able to hide a small grin.

“Did you _know_ this?!” Ruby finally exclaims giving her mother the most offended and betrayed look Sam has ever seen on her young face.

“Not my secret to tell,” Sam shrugs and then they get interrupted by Mon-El who says:

“Guys, come look at this. It grew again.”

Then the light moment quickly disappears and they all focus their attention back to the screens. They all show the L-Corp building from various angles, though, you can only recognize it if you know it. The highest part of the building, everything upwards form the logo, is engulfed in an iridescent, colorful sphere. If Alex didn’t know better, she would say it is a viscous, thick kind of rainbow bubble. The eerie thing about it that gives them all goosebumps is not merely its strange permanence but that the substance is moving, curling and swirling and crashing over itself like heavy smoke.

Ruby quietly wraps herself around Alex seeking shelter in the Agent’s arms while the others continue to stare spellbound at the strange spectacle. Sam is the first to break the silence by asking in a trembling voice: “What is this?”

Reign answers her before anyone else: “ **It’s Pestilence**.”

Then Imra explains to the rest of them: “It is Pestilence. She is turning into the Blight.”

“Hold on a second,” Kara says bewildered, “ _Turning_ into the Blight?”

Brainiac pulls up an animation of the estimated spread of the sphere and they all shudder because it is growing at an alarming rate: “Exactly. Our historical data from the future did not suggest this but it appears that Pestilence herself is the trigger for the Blight.”

A collective hissing sound of an almost swear word washes through the ranks until Sam silences them all with a menacing stare. The next second, her hands fly out towards Kara: “Where is Lena? She is not at L-Corp anymore, right?”

Kara is quick to shake her head: “No, she’s at the Baldwin.”

“Thank God,” the brunette sighs in relief.

Then J’onn turns to them with the outmost serious expression, even more than usually: “Everyone. We need a plan of action.”

They are quick to divide several tasks between each other. Mon-El, Imra and Brainiac will work on a more up-to-date antidote against the Blight, Winn will monitor the sphere, J’onn will delegate the general evacuation of the city. Kara and Alex decide on an intense training session with Reign because the Worldkiller _seriously_ lacks footwork, only relying on her superior physical strength. That leaves…

”Ruby?” Sam asks loudly, pivoting on the spot in search of her daughter.

“She was here just a moment ago,” Alex says puzzled, lifting her arms as if she expects the teenager to reappear out of thin air.

“She was right by your side,” Sam says exasperated, her search becoming more frantic.

Before this can turn into a full-fledged argument, Ruby appears at the far-side of the office.

“I found someone searching for the toilets. I showed him, but he still looks a little lost.”

Then Ruby leads an elderly Afro-American man into the office by the hand who looks indeed a little confused.

“Father,” J’onn says, rushing forward to M'yrnn.

“J’onn. My son. Have you seen this lovely child?” he asks, resting his hands on his son’s forearms.

J’onn motions vaguely towards Sam and Alex: “It’s her daughter.”

M’yrnn’s eyes shine and there is a genuine smile blossoming on his face: “Alex, I did not know you had a child. She is very well raised.”

J’onn’s eyes widen and he mumbles: “No, father. It is not _her_ daughter,” the same moment that Alex’ cheeks turn scarlet and she splutters:

“What? No…she is not…”

Sam cannot help the sound escaping her mouth right along with Kara: “Aw.”

Fighting the redness in her cheeks, Alex slings an arm around Ruby’s shoulders: “You know what? Next to the ready room we have a playroom for adults and I’m pretty sure you know a mean game of footsies. You wanna show M’yrnn?”

“Hell yeah!” Ruby exclaims, her eyes bright and shining and then she drags the old Martian out of the office.

Sam stares after them, grinning and raising an eyebrow at her girlfriend: “Did you teach my daughter to say _hell yeah_?”

“Hell no?” Alex says with a nervous but winning smile. Sam rolls her eyes before she plants a quick kiss to the redhead’s cheek.

After a short moment of silence, Kara claps her hands: “Let’s get going!”

They all scatter to their respective tasks and Kara, Alex and Sam end up in one of the vacant training rooms. Brainiac calculated that they have approximately one day to evacuate National City and then they must take action against the Worldkillers. It doesn’t help to quell all their nervousness the least. Together, Kara and Alex give Reign the most intense training session of their lives until they are all drenched in sweat. Working on footwork, cape tricks and speeding up the switch between Sam and Reign.

In her workout clothes, Alex cannot hide the numerous hickeys and when Reign places a kiss to one of them as an answer to Kara’s question where they come from, the blonde is beyond _mortified_.

At some point, James poked his head into the room, announcing that they were gathering in the ready room for a lunch break. God knows where they even chased down a restaurant that remained open when all through the city people are being evacuated. No one is complaining, though, and eventually they all come together to eat.

Kara and Sam shovel the various pieces of food down so fast that the others fear not getting anything. The DEO’s monthly food bill already was astronomically high when it was just Kara but with two Kryptonians it would reach completely new spheres. J’onn stares at the two with a pained expression while Alex pats him on the back in sympathy. When Sam’s pot-sticker is covered in so much chili-sauce that it is more _sauce_ than _sticker_ , Kara quirks an eyebrow at her: “What? Reign kinda likes extremes.”

Meanwhile, Alex turned to discuss the biological aspects of Sam’s and Reign’s connection with Winn: “Maybe we could implant a neuronal stimulator somehow to strengthen their bond.”

Suddenly, Alex lets her chopsticks fall, mumbling: “That’s it, Winn. Neurons. Electricity. You’re a genius.”

He stares at her with raised eyebrows: “Thank you. I already did know that, by the way.”

Alex is not listening anymore, jumps up from her seat next to Sam and Ruby, saying: “I must make a phone call.”

Ten minutes later, she drags a vehemently protesting Winn out of the ready room after saying to Kara and Sam: “Keep working. Maybe practice Torquasm-Vo again.” After briefly kissing her girlfriend, she is gone like a whirlwind.

“What was that?” Kara asks to which Sam has no answer.

Hours later, the two find Winn, Alex and Lena in an engineering lab a couple of stories below, knee deep into cables and PCBs and a lot of paper. Thank God, Kara changed into her suit for the training session, although Sam is convinced that the high-pitched yelp gives Kara away nonetheless when she spots the CEO quietly discussing something with Alex. “Here you are,“ Sam mumbles, setting the coffee tray down and planting a chaste kiss against her girlfriend’s temple.

Lena and Kara look away with blushing cheeks until Kara clears her throat: “What are you working on?”

“An emergency plan,” Lena explains briefly and unsatisfactory.

Neither Kara nor Sam get out of them what exactly they are working on and eventually leave with a sleeping Winn carried safely in the blonde’s arms.

Ruby has long fallen asleep, too and Kara and Sam resume their meditation until it is way past midnight. On their way back to the ready room, they spot that there is still light on in the lab where Lena and Alex worked and after much debate the two finally put their work down, barely able to keep their eyes up anymore. Lena was half-asleep, her head resting against a microscope and Alex spilled some liquid or another three times in a row trying to decant it.

“Unbelievable,” Kara scolds them with a small, soft smile on her face whereas Sam says, hands in her hips:

“We should have never allowed them to work together.”

Both their hearts stretch and clench in pretty much the same way at the sight of Lena and Alex like that.

Eventually, Kara takes Lena back to the Baldwin, that is thankfully a more or less safe distance from the L-Corp building while Sam coaxes Alex into bed. The bunk is narrow anyways and when Ruby climbs down in the middle of the night, squishing between her mother and Alex it definitely becomes too small. It must have been one of the most uncomfortable nights of Alex’ life but with one arm wrapped tightly around both Sam and Ruby, the two people that became so incredibly important to her during the past months, who have become her _family_ , she wouldn’t have it any other way.

At some point, she felt Sam trying to escape the small space and she tightens her hold around her girlfriend’s waist. Ruby slipped down between them somehow, her face shoved into Sam’s stomach, her body folded around her mother’s long legs as if they were a body pillow.

“This is intolerable,” Reign hisses under breath, “How can you sleep like this?”

Alex is more asleep than awake and mumbles: “Go back to sleep. This is nice.”

Reign tries to protest further: “This is what you call nice? I cannot…” But she gets cut off by soft lips that are pressed against her own, catching more the side of her mouth, missing most of Reign’s lips but sending a flood of warmth through her body nonetheless:

“Sleep, baby,” Alex mumbles before her breath evens out again, leaving Reign to struggle alone with her burning cheeks that are _glowing_ in the dark.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, they all stare into their coffee bleary eyed and tired and mute because the sphere surrounds the complete L-Corp building by now.

Around noon, J’onn and Imra announce that the evacuation is complete, and that the city center is as empty as the moon Phobos. Winn and Alex explain that they would actually need more time to work on their emergency-wonder-machine, getting lost in complicated descriptions of calibrations and electrical scattering and brain waves. Sam interrupts them to let everybody know that Reign is growing more and more restless, reminding her in shorter and shorter intervals that their time is running out.

From then on, a strange, nervous energy settles on their little group, making them all agitated and tense. They all realize in the same moment that this is _it_. There is nothing left for them to prepare and no time left to come up with more sophisticated plans. Brainiac supplies them all with the updated, more potent and hopefully successful antidote against Pestilence, then J’onn talks with Vasquez about setting up a security ring in a five-mile radius around the L-Corp building. Then everybody begins to prepare: Supergirl and the Legion suit up, J’onn gives a pep-talk to his Agents, Winn runs the third check-up on the IT system and Alex and Sam rush through the corridors in search of Ruby.

They find the teenager deeply enraptured in a detailed speech about the history of Mars that M’yrnn tells her in the ready room. For a moment, Alex and Sam remain outside the room, staring with soft eyes at the old Martian and the young teenager. The redhead wraps an arm around Sam’s waist and the brunette automatically rests her head against her shoulder: “She is such a wonderful child. You did an amazing job.” 

Sam wraps her own arms around her girlfriend, soaking up this brief moment of comfort and intimacy: “I barely did anything. She’s just pretty awesome.”

Alex hides her grin in Sam’s hair, kisses her shortly, mumbling: “Yeah, she is. Just like her mom.”

Before they can get swept away by the cheesy softness of the moment, Sam enters the room and Alex leads M’yrnn to J’onn. When she comes back, Sam and Ruby sit on the bed, tightly wrapped up in each other and she has barely entered the room when Sam reaches her hand out. The next second, Alex is pulled into a tight family hug that leaves them all close to tears. At some point Ruby mumbles: “If the three of you don’t come back in one piece I will be _really_ mad.”

“Reign and Kara will look out for us, sweetie,” Sam says more determined and convinced than she actually feels.

“And we will look out for them, ok? No one is losing any pieces.” They remain huddled on the bed until Kara calls for them from the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Before they reach the central office, Sam tugs Alex inconspicuously into an empty office by the hand a little away from all the commotion going on in the main part of the DEO.

"Sam, what are we doing here? We should follow Kara and Ruby. Everybody is ready," Alex asks confused.

But then, her girlfriend throws her arms around her shoulders, presses a hard and desperate kiss on her lips. Alex responds immediately but softer, gently gliding her lips over Sam's. She wraps her own arms around the brunette, realizing that Sam is shaking. They all managed pretty well so far to keep the panic at bay, to not think too hard about what is at stake when they finally leave the DEO. If they fail today, _millions_ of people will die in the future, the future _itself_ will be lost and the realization about this burden suddenly overcomes Alex like a tidal wave.

Desperation sneaks into their kiss like foul poison, the same desperation she remembers from way back then when Alex still thought that Purity was out to hurt Sam. When they separate, Sam places her hands on Alex' cheeks, her brows furrowed and eyes shining with unshed tears: "I’m so sorry," she whispers. Alex stares at her confused:

"What are you talking about?”

Sam strokes her thumbs over the redhead’s cheeks, gently: “We cannot lose you, Alex."

Alex doesn't understand a word: “Are you talking about Reign?”

“I don't know what I would do without you and neither does she”, she sniffles, blinks her tears away, "And Ruby... _Ruby_ needs you too, at least one of us must come back.”

"Oh, _baby_ ", Alex mumbles, puts her own hands on her girlfriend's shoulders, searches her eyes: "We will both come back. All three of us. We will win, ok?”

But Sam vigorously shakes her head: “You’re too human. You’re so beautifully human", she says and looks at Alex with unhidden awe. Then she leans in again and Alex has no clue how to response instead of kissing her back, kissing her back with all she has. Because just like back then this might be their last kiss, their _very_ last and Alex pours all her feelings into it, all her _love_ , _everything_ she is too scared to say out loud.

She angles her head, flicks her tongue over Sam’s bottom lip. Gasping, the brunette grants her access and Alex finds her tongue with ease. She _always_ finds Sam with ease. The longer they kiss the tighter they cling to each other, the more desperate they become. Suddenly, Sam bites down hard onto Alex' bottom lip and the redhead springs back, yelping: "What the hell, Sam?”

She stares at her with a dark expression: "Don't hate her."

Then she wipes a drop of blood from Alex' lip with her thumb. Alex smacks her hand away: "Shit, Reign. You both make zero sense today.”

"Don't hate her", the Worldkiller repeats, curls her fingers around the human's jaw and presses their foreheads together: "She just wants to keep you safe, we both do.” Reign locks their gazes. Her hard eyes have never been softer than in that moment.

Out of nowhere, there is a sharp pain in Alex’ neck and she is out before Reign catches her in her arms.

 

* * *

 

 

Kara nervously lets her eyes roam over the central office.

The atmosphere is charged with the impending battle and they all are equally restless. Mon-El and Imra stand in a corner tightly entwined. J’onn makes last minute orders to various Agents and Winn is flitting around several computer terminals, screens and whatever to guarantee maximum support for the heroes. The only two missing are...

But then she spots Sam out of the corner of her eye striding back into the open space where they all gathered. She is already in Reign's suit and just slipped her mask on. "Sam!” Kara waves her over: "We’re all ready, where is Alex?”

"Wrong personality, Super Sinner", Sam grunts, when she reaches the blonde.

Kara takes a step back, startled: "Reign?”

“Ah, now you got it. Way to go”, she says in a flat voice.

Kara grimaces and lifts her chin at the horrible nickname. She looks past the Worldkiller, frowning: “Where is Alex?”

Reign crosses her arms in front of her chest: "She is not coming", she says tight-lipped.

Kara is instantly onto her: "Did you do something to her?!”

Reign rolls her eyes: "Calm your cape. I can't even if I wanted to." Kara only slightly relaxes, and Reign huffs annoyed: "Remember, madly-in-love, emotional human in me. She won’t even let me be really rough with Alex during...”

But Kara cuts her off before she can say anything more: "Ok, ok you stop talking! That's so inappropriate right now!”

Reign shrugs unimpressed: "You were asking.”

“What did you do to her, then?” Kara groans.

“Knocked her flat out. She sleeps in the med bay.”

Kara’s gaze is withering: "You what?”

"It was not my idea!" Reign hisses back: "We're just trying to _protect_ her. This battle is out of her league, and you know it!”

Kara must admit that the Worldkiller is right. She gives Reign a curt nod and says: "We should get going.”

But when they all round up, ready to leave for the city center, Kara spots Winn slipping into a lab and she catches sight of familiar jet-black hair. "Hold on", she gasps and follows Winn. With a bang, she thrusts the lab door open and the two people inside whirl around in shock.

"Lena", Kara whispers, wide eyed.

Lena gulps: “Supergirl.”

"What the hell are you doing here? Again! You should be in a safe room or out of the city or anywhere but not _here_.”

Lena looks anywhere than at Kara and she uncharacteristically fumbles for words: "I... uh..."

Winn leaps to her defense: "I called her in again. With all of you gone, I need some help. We’re not finished with the…uhm…emergency plan.”

Kara narrows her eyes at him, not buying it. But he doesn't budge. Then Kara spots a gigantic machine behind them on a cart. It looks like a very strange mix of a grenade launcher and a missile, but the barrel is surrounded by electric wire and plates. Where the missile should begin is a gaping hole with a chaotic array of wires spilling out and a lot more technical stuff Kara doesn't even know the name of. She doesn't bother to ask, she doesn't have the time.

When her eyes land back on Lena who still looks unsure, something suddenly clicks in her. She understands now why Reign and Sam knocked Alex out, full well knowing that she will hate them both. The sheer magnitude of what they are about to do, the danger in all its extent rushes down on Kara. They might actually not survive this.

In the blink of an eye, she rushes forward and whisks Lena right off her feet. She delayed this long enough, always found a next excuse to not realize what is right front of her. She presses her face to Lena's chest, holds her in a death grip, the millionaire's feet dangling somewhere around Kara's shins.

Lena tentatively places her hands on the hero’s shoulders, rests her chin on top of the blonde's head: "Kara", she whispers into her hair.

A strangled sob escapes Kara: "You know?”

"Of course," Lena answers and kisses her forehead.

Carefully, Kara sets her down onto the floor. Her arms remain wrapped around Lena's waist, though, and Lena's around her neck. She is drowning in a sea of green and throws all caution to the wind. They both lean in at the same time. Even though they waited so long, the kiss is _soft_ , and Kara feels like she _belongs_. Right here, with Lena in her arms, their lips moving sweet and gentle against each other. Kara doesn’t want to stop, never wants to stop because kissing Lena makes her body tingle all over and her heart swell and she has simply waisted so, _so_ much time.

Eventually, they have to part for air, though. "Come back safe, ok?"

Kara nods over and over again: “I will.”

She has to. There is so much they have to talk about.

Suddenly, the lab door opens again, and Kara turns around. Reign stands in the frame: "We must go. They are almost ready. I can feel it.”

Kara nods, kisses Lena one last time. _Long_ and _deep_ , leaving a hundred promises and confessions on her lips. However, neither Kara nor Lena says any last words, the intense look they share conveys more than words ever could. Then Kara's hand slips out of Lena's grip and she walks towards Reign.

“Lena Luthor?" the Worldkiller asks before they leave for good: “Take care of Alexandra for me.” Taking a deep breath, she adds: "Please.”

Lena clears her throat: “I promise."

Reign nods and then the unlikely pair leaves the lab. They join the rest of their team in front of the balcony. Everyone at the DEO stops dead in their tracks to watch them assemble. Kara casts a serious look into the round of equally grim looking faces: "Let's save the world!”

Then they take off.

Every person in the DEO stares after them with hope and fear in their hearts. The fate of National City rests heavily on the heroes’ shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final showdown is just around the corner. What will happen now? Who survives? Who dies?  
> Two more chapters to go!
> 
> (Tell me what you think in the comment section. I want to hear all your thoughts and if you liked the chapter!)


	17. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised in the last chapter: This is the End.
> 
> Are you ready for it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This is the link of the song quoted in the beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzzbi6Wev9A )

* * *

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> **I am the rain on the fire tonight/ Hoping you see me fight. - Thomas Bergersen**

 

* * *

 

The air around them is perfectly still, no noise reaches them, no gush of wind while Pestilence feels her body extend further and further, disintegrate into the sphere more and more until it will eventually engulf the whole city, then the whole planet.

She can feel every curl and every twist of the sphere, from right in front of her until the very edge and a ripple moves through the whole thing when excitement shoots through the Worldkiller. Blatant excitement at the fact that no matter how far the humans run or where they will hide, she will reach them sooner or later. And when she does, this planet will not be the same anymore. Lastly, it will be pure and clean and _ready_ for whatever their creators intend to do with it. There is no escape from the Blight. Suddenly, Pestilence senses five living beings nearing them at a rapid speed. Her eyes snap open, a sinister smile blooms on her face and she says in a voice barely concealing the thrill of anticipation: “They are coming.”

 

* * *

 

 

Reign is right next to Kara Danvers as they shoot through the sky as fast as they can.

The deserted city flies past them like a ghost town, the collective buzzing of thousands of humans missing, and the silence is so heavy that it is almost palpable. Not even a single animal can be heard or anything else really. No one is talking. They all use these last moments before the impact to concentrate, to focus, to remind themselves _why_ they are doing this and for _whom_. That it is worth putting your life on the line, for something or for someone and for each of them it is different. But it is this one reason they all think about, they _must_ think about.

While the wind roars in her ears and the hearts around her beat faster and faster, Reign thinks about Alexandra and nothing else. Thinking back on the human is all that keeps her in the air, the only thing that keeps her resolve from crumbling because Reign is a _winner_ and right now a nagging, gut churning feeling tells her that she is on the _losing_ side. Alexandra has been right when she said that Earth and its heroes stood no chance against the Worldkillers and Reign shudders at the thought that _she_ may be not enough to turn the tables.

“ **Don’t think like that** ,” Sam chimes in her head, tone trembling around the letters and yet sounding sure and insistent, “ **We will all make it** ,” leaving Reign to wonder where her host takes all this confidence from.

What gives her the courage and bravery to think like this? To even enter this battle. She is the only one of them who is utterly helpless, who can only watch, completely at the mercy of outside forces, at the mercy of what Reign will do, trapped in a body she has almost no control over right now. How can she put such infinite trust in the Worldkiller? Trusting her to bring her back home to their lover and the child.

“ **We must come back, you hear me?** ” Sam says more determined, “ **We cannot leave Alex and Ruby. They need us, and we need them.** ”

At these words, the Worldkiller comes to the conclusion that Sam’s unrelenting hope and trust and courage is fueled by _love_. This one human emotion she has not understood until today, the one emotion that resides above all others, that makes _everything_ possible, _praised_ and _feared_ and _sought_ by every single human on this planet.

Hit by a sudden epiphany with the force of a lightning bolt, Reign understands that this is the one important difference between them and Purity and Pestilence. They have _love_ , whereas her sisters have _orders_.

Unseen by the others, Reign nods briefly and lets herself be filled by memories of Alexandra. The depth of her hazel eyes that always seem to be a slightly different color depending on how the light shines on them or what she feels. The curve of her lips when she smiles so dazzlingly that it makes Reign forget to breathe. How she _tastes_ , on her mouth and between her legs, how she _feels_ between Reign’s arms and how she _sounds_ when she is swept away by a wave of pleasure. Thinking about Alexandra is anchoring Reign more and more to this very moment, makes her aware of the strength rippling in her muscles, the people around her, that will fight with her, by _her_ side, for something _greater_ and more _important_ than themselves. It makes her more aware of Sam, too. Of the mix of feelings her host pumps through her, the fear and hope and love.

“ **Be strong, Reign,** ” Sam whispers, soothing the Worldkiller’s nerves, embracing her form the inside, wrapping herself around everything that Reign is, slipping and winding until they are _one_.

“ **Be strong, so that we can return home at the end of the day.** ”

Then the sphere comes into view, pulsing and beating like a living entity, erupting into sudden flares here and there that seem to be reaching out for them like long, bent fingers. Instead of fear, Reign feels very calm all of a sudden, feels Sam in every cell of her body, seeping into her heart and what just might be her soul. Everything is lining up between them, their thoughts, their feelings and emotions. They are in perfect sync, have _truly_ merged.

Next thing, Kara Danvers and Reign barrel through the sphere like through thick water whereas the rest of their team slams into it like against a giant wall of stone.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Alex notices is a persistent, sharp pain in her neck.

Even before she is able to open her eyes, one hand flies to the throbbing spot, eliciting a small hiss from her. She has a hard time remembering what happened before she fell unconsciousness, everything is veiled by dark fog that makes her head ache and every time a memory begins to manifest it slips away again before she can make sense of it. Tentatively, she blinks her eyes open. And instantly shuts them again when the bright lights of the med bay hit her. It is like she has been bopped on the head by a baseball bat and briefly she feels disoriented and nauseous. She takes a couple of deep breaths, forces the world to stop spinning then carefully cracks one eye open again.

This time, it doesn’t feel like someone is drilling an axe between the two halves of her brain and, still groaning, she begins to sit up. Her first thought is that something must have gone wrong at a mission, that she has been too reckless again and got herself into trouble, half expecting that Kara shows up any moment to scold her while she tries to look simultaneously taunting and not too relieved.

But Kara doesn’t come. No one does. Because the DEO is deserted.

Then everything comes rushing down at her at once, with so much force that she is choking on her next breath, her heart being crushed by the overwhelming dread. The Worldkillers. The impending battle. Sam. Reign. _Shit_.

When the first shockwaves subside, she is gripped by blinding, all-consuming anger. Reign knocked her out. Sam and Reign knocked her out cold and _left_ her. Walking into the life-threatening, world-changing, utterly _dangerous_ fight without her. She is so fast to spring out of bed that she almost tumbles to the floor, her legs getting caught in the thin covers. Absolutely furious, she kicks them until her legs are free, until she can rush out of the med bay, the anger chasing her headache away and making her bang the door so severe that the glass rattles. She is all but flying through the empty halls, her heart pounding so loud in her ears that she cannot hear anything besides it, all her thoughts circling around the question for how _long_ she was out and how _much_ she missed and if Reign and Sam are even _alive_. She should be by their side, right next to them, facing whatever awaited them at the top of the L-Corp building, able to _see_ them and to _hear_ them, ready to do whatever it takes to _protect_ them but instead she was here full of _fear_ and _panic_ and _uncertainty_.

She comes crashing into the central office like a force of nature, not seeing anyone or anything besides the wall of screens, not even seeing _that_ really because her senses don’t work, her body doesn’t work, and she cannot stop running until her hip slams into a desk.

“What happened? Where are they?” she screams at no one in particular, eyes jumping all over the place, trying to find Kara, trying to find Reign and when she cannot, her first impulse is to _break_ something.

She is livid, has never been so angry in her life and the only two people who are able to calm her down, to bring her back to reality and out of the panic induced hurricane in her mind are not _here_ , but _there_ , fighting for their life. Fighting for everybody else’s life, too. The contents on the desk are sent flying and crashing to the floor, the desk itself shaking under the force she grips it with and it is still not enough, her fear and unimpeded rage in desperate need of a let out, a valve. Then she is trashing and kicking at anything she can reach, her voice a roaring beast: “Where are they!”

Out of nowhere, Lena stands in front of her, her hands raised, her mouth moving, attempting to talk to her, to calm her down but Alex hears none of it, hears only white noise in her head. Her arms are flailing, her hands closing into fists, her jaw working until finally Lena has enough, grips her roughly by the shoulders: “Alex! You must calm down!”

In her headless panic, Alex cannot focus on her, instead her eyes flit across the room again, land on Winn, who stares at her with wide eyes and on Ruby who stares at her with wider eyes. The second her eyes land on the frightened teenager, the valve in Alex opens and her anger seeps out of her in a single powerful gush until she is left with nothing but fear: “Ruby. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” she stammers, unsteady gaze alternating between Ruby who is clinging desperately to Winn and Lena whose expression is hard around the jaw and soft around her shining eyes but otherwise unreadable.

“I’m so sorry, Ruby,” she repeats with tears prickling hot and demanding in the corners of her eyes because she should be _out_ there, _protecting_ Sam, _protecting_ Ruby’s future, making sure that there is a brand new morning they can all wake up to.

She barely registers how Ruby lets go of Winn, comes crashing into her and Alex clings to the girl just as much as Ruby clings to the redhead.

“I’m scared, Alex,” she mumbles against Alex’ chest, prompting the adult to simply tighten her hold because, frankly, she is just as scared. But she is the adult, she is not _supposed_ to be scared, at least not supposed to show it and somehow Alex finds the strength to put on a wobbly brave face:

“Me, too, sweetie.”

She strokes Ruby’s hair affectionately, plants a kiss on her crown and finally dares to look at the screens again with a slightly clearer mind. Her heart first stutters then must have stopped completely at what she sees.

 

* * *

 

 

Reign lets out an agonizing scream of pain when Pestilence’s claws bury in her left side.

She grabs her sister around the throat and hurls her as far away as she can, but the space is narrow, the roof itself not being the amplest but with the sphere enclosing them from all sides they are _stuck._ And in a one-on-one fight she would have liked as much space as possible. Like this, she is mostly forced to rely on her physical strength, her other powers too uncontrollable in this prison, might bounce back from the sphere and do more _harm_ than _good_. Against her sisters, though, her physical supremacy is less of an advantage than it used to be because they are just as strong, just as invincible as herself and the longer they fight, the heavier do Reign’s arms feel, the more does she feel every throb of every hit.

Hissing, Reign presses a hand against her side. It comes back stained and wet, though the trickle of blood coming out of the four puncture wounds is nothing she cannot handle. At least for now. The pain on the other hand is new, _real_ pain, _stinging_ pain. It’s not like the pain from Kryptonite that made her feel like her blood was boiling and scorching and her whole body burning from the inside. This pain is somehow more real, easier to block out and therefore more dangerous.

“ **Hang in there, Reign,** ” Sam says, and it is comforting to have her here, so _close_ , so _trusting_ that they will win this or at least make it out alive. By now, that means pretty much the same.

“ **Stay strong** ,” Sam says when Reign grinds her teeth, pushes off the ground only to slam into Purity who has Kara Danvers in a choke hold. They are propelled against the sphere that is harder than anything she has encountered so far on this planet and while it cushions Purity’s impact it wraps around Reign’s chest, ready to crush her. She feels her ribs bend under the pressure, the air burning in her lungs as she frantically tries to free herself.

She cannot die here. She must get back to Alexandra. There is so much left she wants to _tell_ her, so much she wants to _do_ with her and to her and _show_ her.

She once saw a sunrise over this human city, very early in the morning, right from the beginning, when the first rays of light crept in a shallow angle over the horizon, painting the windows of the many sky-scrapers in liquid gold. The whole city looked like that, shimmering and flickering and Reign has never seen something so breathtaking in her life. Apart from Alexandra. While she refocuses her hazy vision, spots Purity on the other side of the roof, sending a sudden, steady heat-gaze her way, she thinks that Alexandra would like that view. When she drops down to the floor, coughing and gagging, she thinks that her mate must see the city like that, swimming in a sea of gold. She absolutely must see it.

Then Reign pulls herself together.

 

* * *

 

 

Back at the DEO they all continue to stare at the screens, holding their collective breath.

On one of the smaller screens, they can see James in his Guardian suite at the edge of the five-mile security ring, watching the same scenes as they do on a mobile unit, along with hundreds or thousands of other people. No one at the DEO notices them, though, all their gazes are locked on the fight that is held above the L-Corp building. Mute and pale, they must watch how Imra is getting weaker and weaker the longer she tries to keep the sphere from spreading, how Mon-El and J’onn  are being repelled again and again by the various, wildly flaring flares and how Brainiac can barely achieve anything with the Legion ship.

Eventually, it is Winn who voices all their deepest fear: “They are losing.”

“Don’t even think that,” Lena rushes out, her shaky tone betraying her confidence.

“No,” Alex mumbles, her arms still around Ruby, who has long since stopped watching, her face buried against the Agent’s chest, “No, he is right. They are losing.”

“Alex!” Lena exclaims, wide-eyed and panicked, all composure having left her voice: “How can you say that?”

Alex motions angry and heated at the screens: “Just look, Lena. How long do you think they can endure this?”

Right in that moment, Pestilence grabs Kara from behind, forces her arms backwards and a knee between her shoulders while Purity lands punch after punch in her face. Lena squeezes her eyes shut, stifles a sob behind her hand that still reaches Alex’ ears and she must gulp heavily. Suddenly, M’yrnn enters the office, staring blankly at them, demanding to know where his son is. Winn rushes to him, to calm him down and when Alex must watch helplessly how J’onn is slain by a flare while he tries to protect Imra, she decides that they went on like this long enough. They must do something.

She sinks down on her knees in front of Ruby, takes the teenager’s hands in hers as gentle and calm as she can right now, says: “Can you stay with M’yrnn for a while, sweetie?”

Ruby looks questioningly at her, her eyebrows drawn tight together, almost sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, looking so much like her mother that it breaks Alex’ heart: “Why?”

Alex swallows her fear for Sam and Reign and the others, pulls herself together, giving it her best to look brave and confident: “I must work on something with Winn and Lena, ok? Something to help Kara and Reign.”

Ruby nods and Alex adds: “If anything bad happens, call me. I’m in the lab right over there,” she points to it with a finger.

Ruby nods again, then Winn sits M’yrnn down in a chair and Alex sees how the teenager takes his hand before the redhead ushers Lena and Winn into the lab, back to finishing their _plan_ , their last _chance_.  

Neither of them can say how long they work, but they work as fast and concentrated as they can. If the _superheroes_ fail, maybe it is time for the _humans_ to step up and save the day. Winn is carefully hooking up the quantum generator to the rest of their machine, Lena frantically finishes the complicated array of plates that is supposed to collimate the electromagnetic beam whereas Alex is typing furiously onto a laptop, programming an execution protocol and calculating how much energy exactly they need for the electromagnetic pulse to reach far enough and what frequency it must be to fry a brain. Because that is what they are working on here, their last _chance_ , the last _ace_ up their sleeve: an EMP launcher.

When Winn suggested to implant a neuronal stimulator in Sam’s brain to strengthen her bond with Reign, Alex had a stroke of genius, thinking that with sufficient electromagnetic energy they could supercharge the Worldkillers’ brains. After all, when it comes down to the most basic process, _life_ is nothing more than a sequence of electrical reactions. If the spark doesn’t jump from neuron to neuron then the neurons become useless just like the rest of your body. The second Winn is finished hooking up the power supply, the door bangs open and Ruby storms into the lab: “Alex! You need to hurry up!”

The adults share a panicked glance before they rush after the anxious teenager.

 

* * *

 

 

The fight, so to say, is pretty much _lost_.

The sphere is merciless and unrelenting and neither the Legion nor J’onn are able to fight it any longer, having stood their ground as long as they could but their strength simply faded at some point whereas the sphere never gets tired. The Legion ship has crashed to the ground, is nothing more than a heap of broken metal, has left a wide cleft in the side of the L-Corp building on its way down and Brainiac along with the others dangles more than hundred-fifty yards above ground in nothing but thin air, a sphere flare tightly wrapped around his neck.

Only Mon-El and J’onn are still struggling against the flares, pulling themselves together, rising up against the Worldkillers one last time while Brainiac and Imra have long gone very still, looking like hanged man, swaying lightly in an upcoming breeze.

It is looking _dire_ , by all means.

For once, Reign has the upper hand against Purity, is drilling her into the sphere with her heat-gaze, fueled by all her _anger_ and _frustration_ and _panic_ , so scorching hot that the edge of her face must be melting. Sam sends a small jolt of triumph through her when Purity crumbles to the ground and doesn’t move.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Reign rumbles as she tries to catch her breath.

Then she searches for Kara Danvers. She spots her a couple of feet away, engaged in a very close combat with Pestilence. The blonde looks horrible, has cuts here and there, tears in her suit and it is impossible to tell whose blood is smeared across her nose and chin. Reign knows that she probably looks just as bad. Groaning, she gets into motion, comes to a slithering halt next to Kara and sends her cape flying forward. As a fellow Worldkiller, Reign is immune to any kind of disease or infection and coupled with the antidote that Sam received earlier at the DEO she is convinced that her sister’s venom is not able to harm her. The blonde Kryptonian, though; oh she looks really bad, her face pale and grey and there might even be blood trickling down her nose. Kryptonian or not, being exposed to Pestilence’s pathogen for this long and this intense leaves marks.

So, Reign lashes her cape out, uses one of the tricks Kara showed her yesterday, one of the tricks she first refused to even try because they were ridiculous and reminded her more of _dancing_ than _fighting_. The cape wraps tight around Pestilence’s wrists who screams in rage and fury and then Kara beats the living daylights out of her.

Reign and Kara breathe a small sigh of relief when Pestilence finally sags and then the sphere stops moving for the fraction of a second, convulses and spasms like a dying animal before it explodes into a million tiny, glittering splinters that make the air look like its filled with a giant cloud of glitter. Reign might even call it beautiful if she would not be so damn exhausted and her body aching all over. She is opening her mouth to say something, that _maybe_ they do have a chance after all, that _maybe_ they make quite the good team when suddenly the world around them begins to shake violently, the air itself shudders and trembles and then they are hit by such a strong sonic blast that it sends Reign flying over the edge of the building and Kara’s right eardrum pops.

 

* * *

 

 

Helplessly, Alex and the others must watch how first the Legion and J’onn plummet to the ground like sacks of potato with nothing to cushion their fall, no one to catch them and they can all only pray that they survived the hard landing.

Then suddenly, Alex' heart lurches painfully in her chest when she must watch how Reign is send over the edge of the building, most likely to follow the others in their unchecked freefall. In the last second, the Worldkiller pushes a hand out against the façade of the L-Corp building, slicing the glass windows open as if they were butter on her way down, being showered in a rain of small shards.

“Oh, God,” Lena openly sobs as she sees how Kara cradles the right side of her head, her face contorted in pure agony and then Purity is onto her, grabs her hair, yanks her head back and Kara is _screaming_.

“This is enough,” Alex finally says not able to stand this one second longer, “We go there. Right now!”

“But we’re not ready. It's not finished,” Winn exclaims unsure and panicked and white as a sheet.

“Then we will finish it on the way,” Alex growls, staring expectantly at Lena who lets her tears flow unhindered and quiet and Winn who looks about to faint. Then they both nod.

“Ok. You two prepare the launcher for transport. I will organize a drive. Go ahead. I’ll be right behind you,” the redhead orders, her tone leaving absolutely no room for discussion. Lena quickly hugs Ruby and then follows Winn back into the lab. Then Ruby stares at Alex with tears streaming down her face, her small shoulders shaking but no words come out of her mouth. Alex draws her in for another tight hug and the girl clings so tight to her that she wonders if she ever lets go again.

“Ruby, sweetie you gotta listen to me,” Alex mumbles, retreating a bit until she can look into the teenager’s round, fearful eyes: “You must stay here with M’yrnn, ok? You two must hold the fort until we come back. Can you do that?”

Ruby is old and smart enough to understand that Alex asks her to be _brave_ and although she feels anything but that, definitely not wanting to let the Agent leave, she gives her a small tentative nod: “You will bring mom back, right?”

Alex doesn’t answer her which makes Ruby feel _sick_ in a way that has nothing to do with a tummy ache and then the redhead kisses her head again, mumbling: “Stay here until we come back. I love you.”

She leaves before Ruby can say: “Love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

 

While Winn and Lena heave the EMP launcher onto a movable cart, Alex sprints through the DEO parking lot.

When she has found the right van, she lets Winn know via the intercom, they move the launcher and the remaining equipment they will need as fast as possible onto a rail construction similar to that in ambulances then Winn scrambles onto the driver’s seat and they are _blasting_ out of the parking lot.

Thank God, the streets are empty because Winn is a _miserable_ driver and would have gotten them killed even before they reached the L-Corp building. As they fly through the deserted streets, Lena is putting on the finishing touches on the launcher, turns on the quantum generator that instantly jumps to life with a powerful hum that drowns out all other noises and Alex is hammering away onto the laptop. They are running out of time and the pressure is simultaneously _suffocating_ and _spurring_ them further on. One mistake and that was it.

“There it is!” Winn suddenly screams and Lena and Alex scramble forward to catch a glimpse through the windshield. In that moment, Kara and Purity crash into the trees of the alameda in front of L-Corp and leave a swath of destruction behind them. Reign and Pestilence are not far behind making the concrete around them bulge and crack and there are craters where they land. Then the four of them shoot up in the sky again and continue their battle twenty feet above them.

”Turn the car around!” Alex screams, and the van momentarily swivels dangerously because Winn jerks:

“What?!” he screams back, his voice doubling over in sheer panic.

“Turn the damn van around, Winn!” Alex shouts exasperated.

Next, she shoves past Lena and the launcher in the narrow space and pushes the backdoors open with a bang. The wind is _roaring_ , and her hair is flying in all directions and then she almost tumbles out on the street because the whole van jerks and Winn whimpers: “Oh my God, oh my God,” as he rips the steering-wheel around.

Alex barely manages to get back to the laptop, types in the last commands, shouting at the top of her lungs: “Hold the van steady. Keep the speed steady and just drive!”

At lightning speed, they are driving backwards, the doors wide open towards the L-Corp building. Together with Lena she pushes the launcher as far out of the van as the rail allows it to and then they continue to rush towards the fighting Kryptonians. In that moment, Kara crashes into the broken Legion ship that is half-burried in L-Corp's foyer and Reign struggles to keep in the air a couple of feet below the other Worldkillers. It is their best shot. Their only shot.

“Here goes nothing,” Alex pants, her finger hovering over the enter key. Abruptly, Lena grabs her wrist, stopping her and Alex turns to her with _fury_ in her eyes and _panic_ because, what the _hell_ is Lena thinking? They must act. Now. Or their chance is gone.

“What are you doing?”

“The range!” Lena shouts against the wind. Alex’ eyes widen in shock.

“The range is too wide. The energy supply too high. If we launch it now, it will hit all of them!”

“Shit!” Alex curses, eyes flying to the rapidly nearing scene.

Without saying anything more, Lena buries into the tangle of cables in the belly of the launcher and begins to rip out wire with her bare hands: “One second!” she pants. “One more second!”

Alex alternates between staring at Purity and Pestilence and Lena, her heart pounding in her throat, her hands clammy and the panic in her rising and rising because their timeframe gives a damn about waiting for them.

“Guys!” Winn screams in a frenzy from the front and Alex screams:

“Damn it, Lena!” and then Lena shouts:

“Now!” Her hands are still holding wire and she repeats: “Now, Alex. Launch it! Launch it!”

Alex  grinds her teeth looks one more time at the Worldkillers and hits the key.

In all their panic and being carried away by the adrenalin rush, neither of them notices that the van bumps over the edge of a sidewalk. For the fraction of a second, it is propelled into the air, only the tiniest bit but it is enough to mess their aim. Then Lena is screaming out in pain because her hands are burned by the wire she is still holding, and Alex is screaming too: “Hit the brakes. The brakes!”

Holding their breath, they watch how the pulse ripples through the air, expands and expands and hits the Worldkillers dead center. As if in slow motion, Alex watches mouth agape and heart on hold how Purity and Pestilence are suspended in air for the blink of an eye before they plummet to the ground like stones.

Even before the van comes to a slithering halt in the middle of the battlefield, Alex jumps out of the backdoor. Vaguely, she sees how Kara staggers out of the Legion wreckage, how her eyes grow wide and she sinks on her knees, the exhaustion finally taking its toll on her. She senses how Lena stumbles out of the van right behind her, faintly hears her crying out for Kara even though they are only an arm’s length from each because in her head there is only static and the relief that rushes over the others doesn’t reach her.

Blindly, Alex runs through the torn up concrete, the gigantic boulders of debris that rained down from the building with tears already flowing hot down her cheeks. She doesn’t stop when she passes Imra who lies groaning in the dust, or J’onn who comes slowly back to his senses but hurries past them in a wild, headless panic because when Purity and Pestilence dropped out of the sky a third black figure fell with them.

She finally finds Reign lying motionless on her back on top of a heap of debris, dust and broken glass.

“No, no, no!” Alex pleads as she crashes onto her knees out of the full run, slides a couple of feet over the ground and doesn’t even feel the pain where her skin bruises. Frantically, her hands reach out to Reign, who is still not moving, having lost her mask and looking almost like she is sleeping if not for the blood and dirt that is smeared all over her face. Alex grabs her shoulders, pulls her limp body into her lap, all the while stuttering and whimpering: “Reign? Reign, can you hear me?”

With one hand, she pushes sweaty and knotted strands of hair out of her face while the other presses the Worldkiller closer to her chest:

“Sam? Baby, it’s me. You gotta wake up.”

She can barely see a thing because she is crying so hard, the warm drops falling onto Sam’s cheek, smearing the blood further with the grime and dirt.

“We made it, Sam. You hear me? You must come back to me now,” she sobs, pressing her nose in the crook of Sam’s neck.

A small, sweet wave of relief rushes through her when she feels a faint, week pulse beneath her trembling lips but she is wrecked by another sob nonetheless because Sam simply _doesn’t_ wake up.

“Don’t do this to me, you two. You cannot die,” she whimpers, her hands holding the unmoving body so tight that her knuckles turn white and her hands cramp, but she cannot let go. She will not let go until Sam opens her eyes.

She is mumbling and screaming and crying over and over again,“Don’t leave me, Sam” and “Wake up, Reign,” while her heart breaks into a million pieces.

In the middle of her anguish, she is suddenly overcome by the memory of her last morning with Sam and how she didn’t say _those_ three words, how she let the moment dawdle away because she was too _scared_. The regret is _crushing_ her. Oh, if only she said it, why didn’t she say it when Sam was right there in her arms, _beautiful_ and _breathing_ and _alive_. Now, the words spill out of her in heaving sobs. Now, that it is too late:

“I love you. I love you so much.”

But neither Reign nor Sam answers her, and Alex is pleading and sobbing to no avail: “Wake up!”

She presses her face against Sam’s cold, sticky cheek and cries again: “Wake up, Sam.”

Faintly she hears someone approaching her from behind, but she doesn’t move, cannot move, can only say: “I love you, Sam. You hear me?” and “Don’t leave me, Reign. You cannot leave me. I love you.”

Five feet from her, Kara and Lena fall into each other’s arms with tears streaming down their faces, holding as tight onto each other as Alex clings to Sam and Reign and five miles from her the people of National City fall into each other’s arms, too, in relief and they are shouting and dancing and celebrating.

Celebrating their victory. Mankind’s victory. The apocalypse is _over_ , and miraculously they are all _alive_. The world is saved.

No one knows, however, which price had to be paid.

For Alex, who is screaming in agony at the top of her lungs until they burn while she rocks Sam’s body in her arms, the price was too high.

 

\- The End

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hand me the crown and name me queen of Evil!
> 
> (So, what you say? Should I write an epilogue? Let me know in the comment section)  
> 


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You really all thought I would leave you hanging?  
> Come on!
> 
> This is the epilogue. You deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the link to the song quoted in the beginning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtU_7SHYEnI

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Lay your weapons down!_
> 
> _They're calling off the war_
> 
> _So, we found our way back home,_
> 
> _Let our cuts and bruises heal._
> 
> _While a brand-new war began,_
> 
> _One that no one else could feel._
> 
> _Now we're young enough to try_
> 
> _To build a better life._
> 
> _To build a better life. - Sleeping at Last_
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

The white marble glistens in the blinding sunlight so that Kara squints her eyes even though she stands in the shade of a majestic oak several yards away from the small gathering.

With a heavy heart, she watches as the casket is lowered down, wondering how sometimes the world can be so cruel. The sun shines bright and warm without a care in the world, no cloud flits across the baby-blue sky and all Kara wishes for is pouring rain. The day is so lovely and Kara grimaces because it really shouldn’t be, and it is all unfair in a way she has no words for. When it is time to take farewell, say good-bye to the deceased with a handful of dirt or a white Lillie, Kara hears the heartbreaking sobs even from the distance, even though her right eardrum remains damaged and will never be the same again.

The sunlamps were only able to perform so many miracles and Kara was relieved when it became clear after a couple of hours in the med bay that she would not end up deaf. Still, the world seems a lot quieter to her now. Absentmindedly, she places two fingers against the outside of her right ear, her face twisting and her jaw working. While she continues to watch the small, intimate funeral, she thinks that they all had to make sacrifices in this war and that she came off rather well compared to others. She swallows the painful lump in her throat, the one that doesn’t go away anymore, feels how her shoulders start to shake and her hands tremble.

“Are you, ok?”

Kara crosses her naked arms in front of her chest to keep herself from shaking even in the warmth of the upcoming spring. She flinches at the sudden contact as Lena places a hand tentatively on her elbow, asks with a gentle voice: “Kara?”

The blonde leans out of Lena’s touch, because her _hands_ , not able to tear her eyes away from the five people, all dressed in black, still gathered around the grave. Lena reaches out to her again and this time Kara turns to her, takes her bandaged hands between her own, her touch as light as a feather. Her lips are tightly pressed together, her eyebrows equally tight drawn because the white gauze around Lena’s hands is too bright and shouldn’t even _be_ there at all.

In a sudden flash, she remembers how horrible the burns looked shortly after they returned to the DEO. Lena’s palms were flaming red, with nasty burn blisters where she gripped the wire the tightest and parts around the first and second finger joints that were simply black, the skin dead and then Kara remembers the _smell_ and her stomach lurches. As it turned out, the burns looked far more alarming than they actually were, not worse than degree two and Kara had broken down in tears of relief and gratitude when the doctors said that Lena was lucky, and the scars would be barely visible.

Guilt clouds her blue eyes that have lost a bit of its shine in the last couple of days, she raises Lena’s hands to her face, against her own cheeks until she can hide her face in them. The guilt right along with the sadness has become a constant companion for them. To all of them. If Kara had just been _faster_ , had been _stronger_ , had been _something_ then maybe she could have spared Lena this pain, then maybe Sam would be…

She cannot even finish that thought, a single tear trickling down her cheek and into Lena’s bandage. The millionaire steps closer, moves her hands from Kara’s face down to her shoulders, draws her in for a warm hug and Kara _melts_ into her embrace. They have already told each other so many times, hundreds of times, countless of times in the last days that _it is not your fault_ that they don’t do it anymore. It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t silence the guilt. Kara’s eyes flicker towards the mourning family again, struggling to keep her own tears at bay, asks instead in a shaky voice: “How are Ruby and Alex?”

Lena continues to hold her close, rubs circles between her cramped shoulders as best as she can. Kara feels her shaking her head and the blonde squeezes her eyes shut, presses her nose further into Lena’s soft, exposed neck and her hands into the soft flesh around the hips where her dress hugs the curves like a second skin.

“Nothing has changed,” Lena answers dejectedly, “Ruby doesn’t leave the bed except to insist on going to the DEO and Alex…” Her voice trails off.

Kara feels her gulp and knows what comes next. Alex is a _mess_. She’s the worst of them all.

“She sits on the couch and drinks.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Kara suddenly sees that the little gathering is breaking up. She retreats from Lena, puts on her brave face and wipes the few stray tears away: “You must take the liquor away from her or she’ll drink herself to death.”

On the one hand, Kara cannot blame her. What she must go through is _horrible_. On the other, though, Alex’ drinking is no use to man or beast and least of all to herself. With one last glance towards the fresh grave, Kara turns around, shoves her hands deep into the pockets of her chinos. Lena loops an arm through one of Kara’s, hooks them at the elbows and the physical contact is at least a crumb of comfort.

“Let’s go back,” Lena mumbles, leading them to the elegant, black town-car waiting for them a couple of feet away.

Kara nods, feeling a sudden chill in the warm March air.

Behind them the white marble of the gravestone glistens in the sunlight as if someone dusted it with glitter.

The name _Julia Freeman_ is carved into the stone in cursive, flurry letters.

While Kara holds the car door open for Lena, she must think again that maybe they all made sacrifices that some were bigger than others and Sam. Sam made the biggest of them all.

 

* * *

 

 

The look on Alex’ face is caught somewhere between _forlorn_ and _morose_.

It has become a somewhat perpetual, resting expression over the last two months as if her face cannot decide showing _pain_ or _anger_ , and in all honesty, it is not a question of either or anyways because it is always the unhealthy combination of both that carries Alex away. Never really the one or the other.

Gruffly, she puts a hand through her hair, from front to back, to keep it from falling into her eyes. Her fingertips brush over the shaved sides, surprising her how much it has grown back. Reminding her how much time has passed, which she somehow only realizes now. She should pay a visit to Rufus sometime in the near future. Then again, what is the point? Everything became a certain kind of _meaningless_ to Alex in the last couple of weeks. She pulls a bit at her shirt because the DEO is bright and warm and the large and way too many glass panels do nothing to keep the heat outside. Summer is right around the corner with drums beating and trumpets sounding while in Alex’ heart it feels like eternal winter.

Her eyes flicker towards the foot of the staircase and at the sight of the three people standing there her heart clenches. Well, technically only at the sight of one person. Although, it has become _easier_ to look over time it is not yet _easy_. Not at all. The pain has morphed from a hot and wild beast that overwhelmed Alex constantly out of the blue into something quieter, duller but nonetheless it _hurts_. And the less intense the pain became the more other, equally awful, feelings joined in: the self-hatred, the blame, the loneliness. And when it all combined and bled together it culminated in the most terrifying and gruesome nightmares of her life. The many sleepless nights and the even worse days turned her into a shadow of herself.

Suddenly, she senses someone next to her and when she averts her gaze from the trio at the staircase, she spots Ruby at her side. The girl doesn’t look much better than Alex. For the past three or four weeks they pulled themselves together, Ruby maybe a little longer than the adult but the remainder of the first catastrophic weeks clings to both of them. It has settled in their eyes, in their hearts and in their very bones.

It makes Alex quiet and angry, her shoulders bend and always tense and it makes Ruby paler than her tanned skin should allow and thin and incredible young. The teenager slips her fingers between Alex’ and after a long glance at her determined face the redhead asks: “Are you sure about this?”

Ruby doesn’t look at her, her eyes glued to the person who talks with Kara and J’onn in front of the staircase, though, her grip tightens a bit. She gives a resolute nod, saying: “Maybe this will help her remember.”

Alex hopes intently that she is right, but it takes effort, ends in an active struggle, because the Agent lost her faith in hope the second Reign dropped out of the sky like a sack of potatoes. She gives Ruby’s hand a squeeze while they approach the staircase.

“Are you ready?” she asks J’onn who looks at her with sympathetic eyes.

It makes Alex’ skin crawl. She _hates_ that look. No matter how much they all insist on just wanting to _help_ her, to be _there_ for her, to _share_ the pain, all that Alex sees is _pity_. She looks away from J’onn, drops her gaze to the floor, to his combat boots, and Kara’s red boots and the black Nike running shoes belonging to the fifth person in their circle.

“We’re almost done,” J’onn says in his deep, calm voice and holds a clipboard out to Alex: “You just need to sign this, then you’re good to go.”

Nothing is _good_ , Alex wants to spit.

Instead she takes the clipboard and signs without reading it. She doesn’t have to. It’s nothing more than a long list of _do’s_ and _don’ts_ she helped to develop.

“Here,” she hands the clipboard back, buries her hands in the pockets of her pants because she doesn’t know what else to do with them, presses her elbows into her waist, becomes aware how tight she rolled the sleeves of her button up, so tight they will leave lines in her skin but what does it matter.

J’onn sighs before saying: “Then you’re all cleared and can leave.”

Ruby gives Kara a long hug and a little wave to J’onn whereas Alex stiffly nods at both of them and turns around. She knows that Ruby and the owner of the Nike shoes are following her without looking. Alex burrows one of the DEO cars from the parking lot and takes them to the suburbs.

In the two weeks before the _end_ , Alex came to think of the Arias house as _home_. A place she could return to at the end of the day where someone was waiting for her, arms wide open and a soft smile on their face. Her own apartment lost that meaning the more time passed because the person that once turned it into a home was long gone. Now, the same was happening to the Arias house. It is the first time that she and Ruby return to it in months, not having been able to stay there without Sam. They alternated between staying at Alex’ apartment which was quickly dismissed by both Kara and Lena and staying at the millionaire’s just recently bought, luxury penthouse apartment.

Although it was emotionally draining for Lena to be sucked into Ruby’s and Alex’ depressions, she would not leave either of them alone in this state. At least like this she could make sure that both of them were eating, and in the redhead’s case that she wasn’t drinking until she passed out every night.

During the car ride, neither of them speaks. Only occasionally Ruby talks about her day at school, though, the words are floating aimlessly through the car, not being addressed at anyone in particular and in those moments the silence seems even louder. While Alex steers the car through the busy streets of National City, past the newly renovated, second DEO tower and past the L-Corp building whose façade is still engulfed by a scaffold, her thoughts drift to the past two months.

 

* * *

 

Alex remembers the night _after_ only hazy.

She cannot remember how long she sat in the ruins of the L-Corp building with tears streaming down her face, clutching Sam’s lifeless body to her chest. Eventually, people gathered around her, hands landed on her shoulders trying to gently pry her away, someone spoke to her, but she wouldn’t listen. Only cried harder until she was hoarse, refused to let anybody touch Sam, shoved Kara when she tried to pull her away.

After what must have been an eternity, she staggered to her feet and carried Sam back to the van, completely ignoring Winn and the dozen of cars that began to pull up at the scene, completely ignoring her trembling arms that protested against the dead weight. She curled into the furthest corner of the van, cramped between the discarded equipment and the launcher.

At some point, Kara turned the quantum generator off and sat with Lena in another corner and even later Winn pushed the launcher back inside on the rail, climbed onto the driver seat and they were on the way back to the DEO.

No one spoke and even Alex remained _deadly_ silent, her tears all cried out, staring numbly ahead unable to think or do anything, except making sure that Sam didn’t slip from her grasp.

At the DEO, Ruby awaited them with tears already streaming down her face and it was only thanks to Winn who held her back that she didn’t hurl herself at Alex. Fresh tears sprung to the redhead’s eyes when she heard the teenager cry and scream: “You promised to bring her back! You _promised_ , Alex!”

The blame was so harsh in the teenager’s frantic voice that it pierced Alex’ already broken heart like a spear, almost causing her to break down ten feet from the med bay.

Blindly, she put Sam down on the first empty bed she could find, switched the sunlamps on and hooked her up to the monitor surveying the vital parameters. She worked only on autopilot. Kara and Lena stumbled into the med bay right after her, together with Winn and Ruby and they all let out a collective breath of relief when a small, beeping sound coming from the monitor indicated that Sam still had a pulse. Without saying anything, Alex sunk into a chair next to Sam, grabbed her hand and remained in that same position for hours.

All around her, people were treated but she had only eyes for the steady but weak rise and fall of Sam’s chest. Kara was put into the bed right next to Sam, surrendering to the exhaustion and pain and falling fast asleep under the warm, orange glow of her own sunlamp. Someone came to treat Lena’s burns and left a huge amount of painkillers for her on the nightstand. Ruby sat on Lena’s lap, her face buried in the crook of the adult’s neck, her small shoulders shaking with every gut wrenching sob.

Bit by bit, the med bay filled with more people. Mon-El and the others were spread on the remaining beds and even J’onn allowed for someone to treat his wounds and succumbed to a bed. Although the med bay was full of people, it was almost eerily quiet because they all flitted in and out of sleep and the few people who remained awake were tormented too much by the thought that even though they _won_ this still felt awfully much like _losing_.

It must have been the middle of the night, Alex danced somewhere between _passing out_ and _falling asleep_ when suddenly the hand in hers twitched. Like a scalded cat, Alex jumped from the uncomfortable chair that screeched on the floor effectively jolting Lena and Ruby awake and even Kara stirred.

“Sam?” Alex gasped, her voice barely recognizable because she was still hoarse, “Sam? Can you hear me?”

Her heart was hammering so hard in her chest that she was close to having a coronary and her legs were shaking so violently that she could barely remain standing.

“Mom?” she heard Ruby’s fragile voice across from her, but she still couldn’t tear her eyes away from Sam who crinkled her brows, the corner of her mouth twitching.

She held her breath, waiting and hoping and begging that this nightmare was finally over, and Sam would open her eyes. Finally, Sam’s eyelids fluttered and Alex’ heart might have plunged from her ribcage straight to her stomach because even before Sam opened her mouth, Alex _knew_.

“Alexandra?” Reign croaked and for a split second, relief washed over the redhead because at least one of them made it back.

And if Reign was alive, then surely Sam was, too.

Alex nodded her head vigorously, held tight onto Reign’s hand, stroking the Worldkiller’s cheek with the other.

“Hey,” she whispered softly, noticed in the corner of her eye how Ruby stood up and Lena drowsily blinked her eyes further open.

“Welcome back. You gave me quite the scare,” Alex mumbled, feeling how the tiniest, most hopeful smile stretched across her face.

Now if only Sam was well, too. Then everything was ok. The everything would be ok.

“Did we win?” Reign coughed with a grimace.

“Yeah,” she answered, “Yeah, we did. _You_ did. It’s _over_.”

It should have come as a first warning that Reign didn’t look at all as relieved as Alex felt in that moment.

“Where is mom? Is she ok?” Ruby suddenly asked.

Reign cast her a brief glance but didn’t answer. Alex tilted her head, her heart contracting painfully, and she felt the panic lurking at the edge of her mind again, only waiting to crush the fragile hope: “Reign, where is Sam?”

The Worldkiller remained quiet, only stared at Alex with big, sad eyes. She crinkled her brows, her voice quivering, repeating the question: “Where is Sam?”

Reign swallowed audibly, her voice uncharacteristically small: “Alexandra…I…”

Alex’ hand fell from Reign’s face, her fingers dug into the Worldkiller’s shoulder desperately. Reign curled her own fingers around the redhead’s wrist, looking more and more as if something was _terribly_ wrong.

“Where is she, Reign?” Alex asked, her voice rising to an almost shrill screech.

Reign could barely look at her, her dark eyes shining with pain and regret: “I don’t know.”

To Alex it felt like someone plunged a knife into her heart and didn’t stop twisting it. A gasp tumbled out of her mouth, her right hand dug so deep into Reign’s shoulder that her knuckles turned white: “What do you mean?”

“Is she not with you?” Ruby asked equally desperate.

Reign bowed her head because she couldn’t bear both the human’s intense gazes anymore. Abruptly, Alex pushed both her hands on Reign’s shoulders maybe even shook her slightly, her tone tipping from unmasked panic into desperation and disbelief: “Tell me where she is! Where is Sam?”

Reign didn’t do anything to stop her, only pressed her lips tighter together until Alex was all but screaming at her: “What happened to Sam? Tell me! Tell me, god damn it!”

Suddenly, Reign’s right brow twitched, the muscles in her jaw jumped and she shouted back equally heated and broken: “I don’t know! She is not _here_!”

That was all it took for Alex to lose her very last nerve. Helplessly and uselessly she pounded her fists against Reign’s chest, repeating the same question and demand over and over again, screaming and crying so violently that Lena was forced saying to Winn: “Get Ruby out of here. She cannot see this.”

The teenager thrashed in Winn’s arms shouting almost as loud as Alex, while he carried her out of the med bay: “No! Let me go! Where is my mom?!”

Alex simply collapsed on top of  Reign because she just couldn’t take it anymore, crying and whimpering uncontrollably: “No. God please. No, no, no.”

 

* * *

 

The next days made _hell_ pale in comparison.

At first, Alex clung to a fierce determination and refused to accept what Reign told her. While the people of National City slowly returned to their homes, the heroes around her regained their strength and J’onn held a short speech thanking everyone for their hard work, Alex locked herself into her lab. She only came out to check on Reign who needed longer than the others to recover even under the sunlamp or to conduct a new test on the weak Worldkiller.

The atmosphere between them was tense and quiet and Alex barely talked to Reign except when it was medical related or even so much as _looked_ at her.

The test results quickly diminished the redhead’s determination though, only affirming Reign’s words and frankly not leading them anywhere. What Alex found out only made her trash half of the lab, scaring anyone who tried to talk to her.

Reign’s brain waves suggested that she was hit by the electromagnetic pulse of the EMP launcher, too, albeit not as hard as Purity or Pestilence or she would probably be as dead as them. Still, the effect was enough to damage parts of Reign’s brain and even an intense treatment with the sunlamp only lead to minimal improvement of the injured tissue. It was enough to keep the Worldkiller from experiencing neurological disorders and her powers didn’t seem to be affected either, but Sam’s consciousness remained nowhere to be found. When Alex announced in a monotone, flat voice that this was her last test, Reign tried for the hundredth time to talk to her: “You do not look good.”

But Alex only shrugged a cold shoulder.

Reign tried again: “Where is the child?”

“With Lena,” Alex answered curtly.

Reign deflated slightly, unable to understand why the human was treating her like this.

Didn’t they believe in the _El Mayarah_ here? She didn’t feel either _strong_ or _together_ in that moment.

Because her temper had always been short, and Sam was not there to hold her back, Reign reached her hand out to turn Alex around by the elbow: “Why do you not look at me?”

But Alex’ shoulders tensed, something flashed across her face too fast for Reign to decipher and she jerked her arm away. However, Reign was not one to shut up that easily. Before Alex could run away again, Reign stood up from the bed, took a step towards the silent human and said: “You do not sleep. You do not eat. And now you do not even look at me. Why are you doing this, Alexandra?”

Her fingers barely slid across Alex’ biceps before the human jumped and shoved her away. “Don't _touch_ me! Not with her face, not when she isn't here,” she shouted, her voice so loud in the otherwise empty med bay that it was booming.

Reign did her best to hide the emotion but from the human’s reaction she knew that Alex saw the hurt on her face.

“Just give her back to me,” Alex begged, her shoulders shaking and the sight broke Reign’s heart.

“I can’t. I can’t find her,” she whispered quietly, felt the hollow burning in her chest because Alex was by _far_ not the only one who suffered under Sam’s absence.

“That can’t be true,” Alex said angrily, “She cannot be gone. You must search _harder_.”

Reign balled her hands into fists. Without Sam there to soothe her wildfire emotions, it became harder again to control her violent impulses. Part of Reign was scared of slipping back into her old ways if Sam didn’t return to her soon.

“What can I do to make you believe me? I just cannot find her,” she pressed through gritted teeth.

Alex stared long and hard at her and Reign vowed to do anything for her, anything so that the human would allow Reign to _kiss_ her again, to _touch_ her again or maybe nothing more than just _look_ at her. Without Sam in her, the loneliness was creeping up on her again and it was more terrifying than before.

For her broken lover’s sake, the Worldkiller agreed to open up her mind to the several psychics at the DEO. But even the two Martians and the Coluan couldn’t find more than traces of Sam’s consciousness in her mind. To give Alex any kind of hope, even if it was false, Reign promised to attend daily psychic sessions with J’onn J’onnz. He was the least irritable of the three.

Soon, Reign was so far physically recovered that she could leave the med bay.

But Alex wouldn’t come to visit her anymore and she didn’t really have any other place to go. Instead of the redhead, Kara and J’onn came to her. Apart from the loneliness, another thing came back around to bite Reign in the ass and for this particular thing she had even less understanding.

“The DEO and the government are discussing what will happen with you now that…” Kara said hesitantly with tightly crossed arms in front of her chest, her voice breaking before she could finish the sentence. She inhaled a long breath and continued: “Now that you are the sole resident in your body.”

Reign mimicked the blonde’s stance: “What do you mean?”

Kara briefly licked her lips, pushed her hands through her hair, eyes jumping all over the place: “They are discussing if you have to take responsibilities for your actions.”

“My _actions_?”

Kara shook her head in frustration: “God…Rao…Reign. The murders. The people you killed when you were still all homicidal.”

Reign almost forgot about that with everything that had happened. On the one hand being locked up in one of the petty, human cells at the DEO sounded like the very last thing she would want but on the other hand as long as Alex ignored her she had nowhere else to be anyways.

“And?” she asked, quirking one eyebrow in question.

Kara unfolded her arms, nervously rubbed her hands: “It would be in your best interest if you stayed in one of the holding cells in the basement until they make a decision.”

And because putting up a fight was meaningless and would most likely result in Alex being even more upset with her, Reign agreed to whatever Kara proposed to her. She was given fresh clothes, was allowed to shower every day and was fed to an extent according to her metabolism. The conditions were acceptable.

Apart from her meetings with J’onn J’onnz and Kara dropping by occasionally to update her on what the human government discussed, she was pretty much left to her own devices. Lena was there, too, from time to time but since their relationship wasn’t the best, her visits were rather short lived. She asked about Sam and Reign asked about Alex and when they both learned that no progress was made they fell quiet until the Luthor eventually left again.

When Reign wasn’t working with the Martian, she was either meditating, trying desperately for hours and hours, sometimes even whole days and nights, to find Sam herself or she was thinking about Alex. No matter, though, how hard she tried to occupy her mind, there wasn’t much to do and sooner or later the solitude was invading her cell like a deadly poison.

It was even worse than before because when she was imprisoned in the dark valley for decades at least she had Sam by her side and now even she was gone, and Reign felt more alone than ever before. At times, it was so bad that she wished someone would come and simply end her misery.

To make matters worse, the Worldkiller got the persistent feeling that the people around her wished that Sam had come back instead of her. There were some like Kara and Lena who hid the blame and resentment behind pain and pity, others like J’onn who were barely able to conceal it behind professionalism and even different people, mostly human Agents she never cared to look at, who stared at her with unhidden hate and accusation. It made Reign’s skin crawl whenever she had to leave the cell and it took her a long time to figure out where the humans’ hostility flowed from.

One day, the Agent who had been assigned the unspectacular duty of bringing her food said heatedly: “Why did you even came back? It broke Agent Danvers,” before banging the tray of food on the floor just out of Reign’s reach.

She stared after him biting back the words that she would gladly trade places with Sam but her _pride_ forbit it and so she bit her lip so hard that she drew blood.

A couple of days or maybe weeks later, because who is even counting anymore, Kara came to visit her again. Reign carved Kryptonian constellations into the wall left of the bed with her heat-gaze when the blonde approached her.

“Wow,” she said, stepping closer to the thick glass wall separating Reign from the outside world, “These are very detailed. I can remember those.”

Reign stared at her without saying anything until the blonde fidgeted and fumbled with her glasses: “Maybe we could teach each other about Krypton someday,” Kara offered with a weak smile.

Reign tilted her head and turned around, her feet resting on the edge of the bed, her wrists crossed above her knees: “Maybe,” she answered before adding, “But that is not what you came for.”

Kara averted her gaze from the map of Kryptonian stars with a shake of her head: “No. That’s true.”

“So?”

The blonde clasped her hands behind her back, rocking a bit on the balls of her feet: “I have some good news. The government clears you of all charges. J’onn was able to convince them that you could contribute valuable work if integrated into the DEO.”

These were not _exactly_ the good news Reign was hoping for, so she simply answered them with a brief nod.

“They said one slip up and you’re back in the cell for the rest of your life.”

Reign shrugged, her eyes remained calmed, her expression unmoved. What did it matter? If Sam didn’t come back and Alex never spoke to her again she would wither away sooner or later, regardless if she was inside the cell or outside.

“They made me responsible,” Kara continued, “Training starts tomorrow. Your footwork is still bad.”

Before the blonde left, Reign asked: “How is Alexandra?”

Kara faltered in her step and said with a sad look on her face: “Not good if I am honest.”

In a moment of vulnerability, Reign admitted: “I miss her.”

Kara’s eyebrows shot up in surprise then she cast a sympathetic glance at the Worldkiller: “Me, too.”

“Can I do anything to help her?” Reign asked, staring intently at her tightly intertwined hands.

“I’ll talk to her,” Kara promised and then she was gone.

 

* * *

 

But talking to Alex became an exceedingly difficult endeavor since the defeat of the Worldkillers.

She rarely spoke to anyone not even to Kara or Ruby and was always either _edgy_ or _sensitive_ and always in extreme ways. On Tuesday the week after Sam vanished, Kara and Lena decided to check up on Ruby and Alex in the Agent’s apartment and were shocked to find them both crying on the couch in the middle of the day. Alex had her head buried in Ruby’s lap and the teenager looked both apathetic and overwhelmed leaving Kara and Lena at a loss of what to do.

Except getting both of them out of Alex’ apartment at once.

Over the course of the rest of the week, Lena noticed that her carefully chosen, highly appreciated and rather expensive liquor collection slowly but steadily decreased. Part of that was her own fault because she had to struggle herself with Sam’s loss and sometimes it was only Kara who kept her from falling apart but when whole bottles disappeared she knew she had to do something.

On a Thursday evening after a long day of work she opened the door to Alex’ room and her heart instantly sank. The redhead looked worse than a zombie, was pale, her cheeks sunken in, her hair unkept and the stench of alcohol was so strong in the air that Lena involuntarily scrunched up her nose. When she tried to take the half-empty bottle of Scotch away from Alex it ended in the redhead shouting at her and the bottle being smashed against the wall. Lena called Kara for help because Alex was not able to be tamed which resulted in another heated argument and Kara staying the night.

Ruby climbed into bed with them in the middle of the night, her eyes puffy and red mumbling something about not being able to listen to Alex’ crying anymore.

The next day, Lena summoned up all her courage, barged into the redhead’s room again, grabbed her shoulders and threatened in the uttermost serious voice that she would take Ruby away from Alex if the redhead wouldn’t change her behavior. She was well aware how _awful_ she was, but Alex' behavior became more and more intolerable with each passing day.

Two hours later, Alex sat next to her at the dining room table, freshly showered and said: “I’m sorry. You were right.”

 

* * *

 

Since Lena gave Alex a piece of her mind that she _desperately_ had needed to hear, the redhead was able to slowly piece herself back together.

She still couldn’t bear to visit Reign because as much as she knew that the two never were the same, she could only see _Sam_ in the Worldkiller’s face and that was simply too much to handle. Kara and Lena told her for days and days how miserable Reign was, but Alex still refused to see her. If she went there now, she could just as well chug a whole bottle of Lena’s expensive Scotch.

The overwhelming guilt and pain didn’t go away over time. Not _really_ at least. But Alex found ways to redirect the intense emotions. Maybe not into something _healthier_ but at least to something more productive.

She went back to work.

She immersed herself in every little case she could find which definitely weren’t many because it seemed the complete criminal scene in National City celebrated that they were spared from the Worldkillers’ merciless justice and kept their hands off any suspicious activities for the time being. If there was no case, she trained Agents and when the Agents begged her to stop because she was ruthless and scary she shooed them out of the training room and stayed there herself long after everyone else left.

The burning in her lungs and in her muscles was better than the constant burning in her heart and repeating the same sequence of steps and punches so long until she couldn’t stand anymore helped to silence the voice in her head, screaming: “This is your fault. You weren’t there. You didn’t protect her.”

 

* * *

 

After Kara voiced the idea of sharing their knowledge about their shared cultural background, Reign’s days found a new rhythm.

On one day J’onn would penetrate her jumbled, broken mind for hours, although they both long gave up hope that it would amount to anything, but they were both too afraid of Alex’ reaction to stop and the next day Kara would escort her out of the holding area. They would practice Torquasm-Vo together, argue about Kryptonian history and religion and politics and more often than not slip back into their native language.

It helped Reign to not constantly circle the bleak abyss in her mind and it helped with the maddening loneliness, too. Even though, Kara was not the company she desperately craved, she was better than no one.

Before they began to reconcile like this, though, _could_ reconcile like this, they had clashed violently for one last time.

It all started in the training room, during a session that was supposed to be like any other. However shortly after they began, Reign caught the same accusatory and apprehensive look in Kara’s bright blue eyes again that she already received for weeks from everyone else. She would never be able to tell what it was but somehow on that particular day the look unsettled her more than all the other times before. Unsettled her in a way that her punches became harder, her movements faster, first subtly than more and more blatantly.

Frustration fueled her every movement because that Sam was _gone_ was not _her_ damn fault and, in the name of the great Yuda Kal, she was _hurting_ , too. She was aware that they all felt sorry for Alex, that they all were sensitive and raw because maybe Sam was lost forever but Reign was not their punching bag. She beat herself up enough every waking hour for not having protected Sam better.

And because _anger_ was the emotion she knew best and most intimately she turned her indescribable sadness into _anger_.

“Just say it!” Reign hissed when she sent Kara crashing to the floor.

“What am I supposed to say?” Kara grunted, lunging for Reign’s leg.

Groaning, Reign hit the mat but was fast to jump back onto her feet, duck deep to wrap her arms around the blonde’s slim waist: “That you think I didn’t protect Sam good enough.”

They both went flying to the floor this time, with Reign on top, raining punches down on Kara’ face: “That you think Alexandra’s suffering is _my_ fault.”

The room was bathed in a milky, mint green glow and although the two were over _killing_ each other it was probably for the better that they were surrounded by several Kryptonite emitters. Kara tightened her legs around Reign’s waist, hooked her ankles and ripped them to the side so that the was on top: “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is,” Reign growled, and the next time Kara’s face was unprotected she head-butted her. Only that she butted with her nose and a gush of warm blood spilled onto Kara’s shirt and the floor.

“I can see it in your eyes. You _all_ blame me! You all wished that Samantha came back!”

Kara briefly rubbed her forehead before she stood up.

“The way you say it makes me think _you_ wished it was her who came back,” Kara huffed before she stepped forward trying to wrestle Reign in a complicated hold.

It went back and forth like that for a while but neither of them gained the upper hand.

“You think Alex would feel _better_ then?” Kara hurled at the panting Worldkiller.

“How would I _know_? She doesn’t _talk_ to me! She doesn’t even want to _see_ me!” Reign screamed at her, her blood boiling.

“Maybe you should just admit to yourself that you are _bitter_ and _miserable_ and _miss_ her and don’t take that out on me,” Kara screamed back.

The next second, she spluttered because Reign caught her straight in the face and they were not holding back anymore.

News in the DEO traveled fast. Remember that one time Piper Chapman remarked in an early episode of Orange is the New Black that Litchfield was basically just a bunch of ladies who liked to gossip? The DEO was the same, except for the fact they were not imprisoned and had to live under degrading circumstances. But news, well, they traveled just as fast. Therefore, it didn’t take long until the first Agents stopped outside the training room and because it didn’t happen every day that two Kryptonians punched each other’s lights out, a crowd was quick to gather.

The second one of the Kryptonite emitters broke out of its anchoring with a deafening screech and a lot of sparks flying around and Reign and Kara began to literally tear the room apart, Alex passed down the corridor. Vasquez was the first to spot her and as everybody knew Agent Alex Danvers was not to be upset currently unless you wanted her to rip your head off, she reacted blazing fast.

“Shit!” Vasquez hissed, “Scatter! Scatter!”

Then they were all running into different directions like a flock of panicked sheep.

Alex knew something was up from the headless way all the Agents scurried away from the training room and the noises that reached her ears were enough to make fiery anger bubble up in her chest. Without hesitation, she kicked the door open  and marched right into the battlefield.

Kara knelt on the floor, her eyes fixed firmly on Reign who hang a couple of feet in the air, her heels pressed against the wall ready to propel her right into the blonde. Alex was so angry at their behavior that she didn’t deign to look at them, simply stepped between them, held her arms at either side, palms turned outwards and bellowed: “Enough!”

She was seething because how dare they, how _dare_ they fight like school children when they just survived the _end of the world_. How _dare_ they do this when they should all be grateful to be _alive._ Her order left absolutely no room to argument.

Quietly and wide-eyed Reign dropped to the floor, whereas Kara slowly stood up. One guiltier than the other, they took in the destruction they caused and promptly one of the lamps above their heads became unfastened, first the wire quivered, then the shade shifted around the bulpholder until it was dangerously crooked and then the whole thing came crashing down onto the floor, landing barely three feet away from Alex who didn’t even twitch.

Then they took each other in: the bruises, the superficial cuts, the rumpled state of their workout clothes. Reign had a broken nose and Kara a split lip and a bleeding cut over her right eyebrow. They tried to look as innocent as two dogs who romped around the living room and crashed their owner’s favorite vase.

But Alex was not in a forgiving mood, the anger so tight in her chest that she was barely able to speak: “Med bay! Now!”

With burning cheeks, the two followed the fuming human down the floor on which the masses parted like the Red Sea because, _heavens_ , no one wanted to get into Alex’ way.

As soon as they reached the med bay, Alex planted them both on respective beds, switched the sunlamps on and looked at them with a killing glare: “What were you thinking?”

Neither of them dared to answer and _maybe_ the question was rhetorical anyways and _maybe_ it would be for the best to sit tight and silently accept the storm of Alex’ outrage. They opted to stare at their hands in shame. Or at least Kara did. She wasn’t sure if Reign could even feel ashamed of anything.

Ever the good doctor, Alex took Reign’s face in her hands and Kara didn’t miss the blush spreading on the Worldkiller’s cheeks, visible even under the glistening, bright-red blood splattered on her cheeks and chin. Briefly, Alex inspected Reign’s broken nose before she relocated it with a sudden snap and added in a hiss: “I hope that hurt,” before turning on her heel and storming out of the med bay.

Kara and Reign stared after her, unable to come up with anything that would bring Alex back, so they remained quiet and accepted that Alex was beyond furious. Never one to swear, Kara sighed, flopping down onto the bed: “We screwed up like _so_ much.”

Reign grunted in response while she wiped the blood from her chin.

For the next couple of moments, the lay there in awkward silence. Let the sunlamps melt away the heaviness in their bones and muscles, the sting in their faces and maybe even the frustration that they still had aimed at each other only minutes ago.

“Do you love my sister?” Kara suddenly asked without looking at Reign.

The Worldkiller furrowed her brows, not sure why the blonde asked and convinced that she still didn’t know quite well enough what _love_ even means: “I do not know if this is love as you humans understand it, but she is the only reason I am still here.”

What she exactly meant with _here_ was up for Kara to decide.

She heard cloth rustling, felt Kara’s gaze finally on her but Reign resumed to stare at the ceiling: “I am not human, either,” Kara said with a pinch of offence swinging in her tone.

“But you have a human heart.”

Kara bobbed her head absentmindedly and then they both fell quiet again.

 

* * *

 

 

On her way back to the holding cell, Reign passed a small lab in which Lena and Winn Schott were engaged in a heated debate. She spotted her old suit on a high-tech dummy, immediately noticing several changes and she scowled. She _hated_ it.

Why did everything have to change so drastically around her?

Not even her damn suit stayed the same. Rolling her eyes at her own pettiness, Reign continued down the corridor silently whishing that everything would just go back to normal. To how things were before.

With Alex and Sam and the three of them tangled up in the soft sheets on her bed in the Fortress of Sanctuary while a pleasant breeze waved in through the many openings, making the colorful cloth rustle slightly. She hadn’t dared to go back to that place during her many hours of meditation out of fear that it had rotten away just like the rest of Krypton that slowly but steadily transformed back into the dark valley.

Nothing was the same anymore with Sam gone.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, Reign was allowed to move freely through the DEO but although she was cleared of all charges there was, apparently, a mountain of paper work to be done until she could officially leave.

Up until then, no one told her where exactly she would be allowed to leave to because after her fight with Kara, she hadn’t seen Alex again. However, from the short period of time she spent with Sam actively sharing her body and the countless hours she watched the human sleep, she had learned to pick the redhead’s heartbeat out of a hundred, probably millions of others. She had already been able to do that with a little more effort since Sam fell in love with Alex, long before she herself developed those feelings.

She was meditating again in one of the many training rooms when suddenly her ears picked up hectic commotion in the halls. When she made out Kara’s voice, stuttering and high and Alex' heartbeat that was way too erratic to be healthy, she rushed out of the room as fast as her Kryptonian legs could carry her. Cold and ugly fear tugged forcefully at her heart and she couldn’t care less about the Agents she knocked over on her way to the med bay.

If something happened to Alex, if _anything_ happened to her, Reign would lose the last grip on reality she had. When the Worldkiller finally came to a slithering stop in front of the two sisters, her heart was just about to stop beating.

Kara looked fine at a first glance, but Alex was leaning heavily on her sister’s side, her upper body only covered by a sweaty tank top and her tactical long-sleeve hazardously and tightly wrapped around her midriff. There was blood seeping through the shirt, trickling between Alex’ pale fingers that were pressed against the wound.

Reign was ready to _explode_ , overwhelmed by the sudden anger and panic, her hands balled into fists, loudly demanding to know: “Who did this? Who is responsible for hurting her?”

She would make them wish they were never born, she would dissect them, would break each and every-

But then Kara hobbled past her with Alex in tow, hushing her: “It is only a graze shot. It looks worse than it is.”

Alex didn’t look at her, but she didn’t protest either when Reign followed them into the med bay and Reign clung to the possibility that this was a good sign.

Apparently, Alex had to proof yet again that she was just as capable of saving the day as the superheroes, recklessly and heedlessly as if anyone doubted it in the first place. By the grace of Yuda Kal, Kara told her that the human leaders even wanted to give Alex a medal for her contribution to bringing down Purity and Pestilence but of course, in all her heroic modesty, Alex had refused. Just like Lena, Winn and the others. Neither of them saved the world for a piece of shiny metal. 

Alex didn’t kick Reign out of the med bay while she stitched herself up either, and Reign quietly took that as another good sign. Shortly afterwards, Ruby rushed to them, quickly followed by Lena who only shook her head in both disbelief and relief at the sight of the injured redhead. The teenager immediately climbed in bed next to Alex who already complained that she was fine but both Kara and Lena insisted strictly on her staying put for at least one night.

Reign didn’t say anything. Partly because she still struggled with the fear and rage rushing through her blood, counting Alex’ heartbeats to calm down and partly because she wanted to soak up the human’s presence as long as she was allowed to. Simply _seeing_ her did wonders to Reign’s battered soul after being separated for so long.

They didn’t talk to each other until the others eventually left to head home, until Ruby fell asleep curled into a small ball at Alex’ uninjured side. Reign stared so intently at the human’s profile that she almost missed it when Alex lastly mumbled in a small voice: “I’m sorry.”

Her beautiful hazel eyes swam with hope and a hundred more apologies as she stretched her hand out. Reign let out a tiny gasp of relief at the first contact of their skin after weeks of missing this particular touch. Her voice cracked when she answered: “Me, too.”

 What _exactly_ they were sorry for didn’t have to be verbalized.

Reign could see it in Alex’ eyes just as much the human in her own, darker ones.

The next morning, J’onn found the three of them fast asleep with Ruby still contently cuddled into Alex’ side and Alex’ right arm around Reign’s shoulders who slept in such an uncomfortable position with her upper body resting on the bed, but still sitting in the chair that J’onn cringed in the doorframe.

He briefly wondered if Kryptonians could get a sore back.

 

* * *

 

 

From then on, Alex and Ruby paid daily visits to the Worldkiller, mostly after the Agent had picked the child up from school, arms always loaded with a ton of food.

Most often, they sat on the floor in front of Reign’s cell while they ate, and Ruby animatedly told Reign all about her day in the human school. It didn’t interest the Worldkiller _per se_ , but she still listened out of two reasons. One was that Alex threatened her to cut the visits short if Reign was not as _nice_ as possible to the child and the other was that the child told her all these things because she would tell _Sam_ all these things and deep down they all hoped that the teenager’s rambles would bring Sam back.

On a very personal level, Reign enjoyed the visits because each time she could feel the grip of the soul shattering loneliness loosen a bit until it let fully go of her one sunny afternoon in the beginning of May.

After some more time passed, Alex suggested that she could continue to train Reign instead of Kara and caught the Worldkiller completely unprepared. Reign quickly learned that training with Kara was good but training with Alex was _better_. She was quick to spot all of Reign’s weaknesses, not holding back to use each and every one against her and made it easy to fall into the rhythm of new step sequences. Alex, as expected, was a _great_ teacher, making Reign simultaneously realize two things: that Alex was by far the most valuable and outstanding Agent this otherwise mostly insignificant facility had and that Reign’s feelings for her only grew and got more intense the more she learned about the human.

On a Friday, shortly before Reign’s release, Alex was in a _very_ bad mood.

She didn’t speak a word during their mutual way to the training room and send Reign flying onto the mat five times in two minutes with combinations so hard and fast that it knocked all air out of the surprised Worldkiller’s lungs. Wary of the human’s mood, Reign kept her distance a little wider than usual and her hits a bit softer.

Which seemed to be the wrong way to handle things.

Alex’ punches came in even harder and when Reign left a deliberately wide opening during her next lunge, Alex mercilessly spun her around and pushed her with so much force forward that the Worldkiller almost tumbled to the ground.

“What has gotten into you today?” Reign huffed after she regained her balance.

Alex’ face remained hard, her expression stoic and something dangerous flickered in her eyes: “Why do you not strike properly? Why are you holding back?” she asked instead of answering Reign. Her voice wavered, her tone was accusatory, and Reign was confused.

When Alex was like _this,_ it simply didn’t feel right. She thought that she better not say that, though.

“Maybe we should not train today,” she said, carefully taking a step backwards.

Alex looked almost livid, followed Reign’s movement and tried to get at her with a quick series of jabs that the Worldkiller easily sidestepped because Kryptonite emitters or not she was still faster than the human.

“Hit me!” Alex ordered while she continued to come at Reign.

The Worldkiller held her hands up in appeasement and further danced out of Alex’ reach. It riled up the redhead even more, her shoulders tensed, her jaw worked and her eyes all but emitted sparks of fury.

“What is going on with you?” Reign asked again but just like before Alex didn’t answer her.

“Hit me, Reign!”

She was almost shouting, and Reign grew more and more anxious.

Suddenly, the Worldkiller stopped her flight and Alex barreled into her so hastily that they stumbled a couple of feet backwards and then she rained blow after blow against Reign’s chest: “Why don’t you _hit_ me?” she repeated over and over again while Reign remained right where she was, didn’t do anything against the onslaught because although she could feel the human’s fists connecting with her skin and bones, it didn’t really hurt.

When Reign noticed that Alex began to cry between her screamed orders and wouldn’t stop, she shot her hands out. In a flash, she gripped both of Alex’ wrists and held them slightly above either side of the furious human’s head. Alex struggled against her, but Reign was simply stronger than her: “Let go of me!”

Reign shook her head calmly and said in a similar calm voice: “No.”

Alex wouldn’t listen though, struggled harder and even began to kick the Worldkiller but Reign remained as stoic and unmoved as a mountain.

“Let me go!” Alex screamed and by now she didn’t even try to hide the hot tears streaming down her face anymore.

Reign shook her head again. “Alex, what is going on? Tell me, please.”

It was the first time ever that the Worldkiller didn’t use the redhead’s full name.

Suddenly, all fight left Alex, she stopped struggling, her shoulders sagged, and she bowed her head so that Reign couldn’t see her face anymore. What she said next was so quiet, barely above a whisper and Reign probably wouldn’t have heard it without super-hearing: “It’s two months.”

She inhaled a shaky breath then the tears were even audible in her voice: “Today it is two months since we defeated Purity and Pestilence. Two months…”

Her voice broke and her whole body was rattled by an agonizing sob and Reign finally understood what was going on.

“Two months since Sam _died_ and it is only _my_ fault,” Alex wailed then her knees buckled, and Reign was just fast enough to catch her.

Alex' back was pressed against her front with Reign’s arms wrapped tightly around her chest because the human’s legs didn’t work anymore, her whole body bent around her anguish in sharp and crooked lines. Reign was left utterly helpless, could only whisper soothingly in the human’s ear: “Don’t say that. It was not your fault.”

But that made Alex only cry harder: “Of course it was,” she shouted and suddenly Reign could barely hold onto her anymore: “ _I_ hit that key!”

Her whole body shook, and Reign’s heart broke at seeing so much raw pain: “ _I_ shot that launcher! _I_ shot you out of the sky!” Alex continued.

Reign couldn’t think of anything to say, only held on tight to her human, scared that if she let go, Alex would simply fall apart.

“I _killed_ her!” Alex screamed, and Reign couldn’t take it anymore.

She turned Alex around in her arms, pressed her tightly to her chest, felt tears warm and wet on her own cheeks for the first time in her life.

“I almost killed _you_ , too,” Alex sobbed into her neck.

Mumbling soothing words into Alex’ ear, Reign maneuvered them away from the training mat and against a wall where she sat down, her back pressed against the cold concrete, her legs apart and bent at the knees with Alex safely nestled between them.

“Samantha is _not_ dead. She _cannot_ be. She _will_ come back to us,” Reign whispered while Alex cried over and over into her neck:

“I _killed_ you.”

It must have been hours that they remained like that until lastly Alex was able to calm down.

Reign told her in a hushed, calm voice that she felt just as empty as Alex without Sam inside her and she missed them both more than any words could express.

 

* * *

 

Back in the present, Alex blinks the sharp sting of that memory away.

Since that day, she and Reign grew slowly closer again, but it was not enough to breach the void Sam left between them. If she wasn’t experiencing a break down, it still hurt painstakingly much only to look at Reign and every time they touched, Alex could break out into tears because as much as she missed the Worldkiller she misses Sam just as much, if not _more_.

They all dwelled on their own thoughts during the ride and still don’t speak when Alex pulls up the driveway or when Ruby unlocks the door. Somehow the three of them are frozen on the doorstep and neither of them wants to step in first. The air inside the house is warm and stuffy, reminding Alex again only all too well how much time passed, how long it has been since someone opened a window or the door to the back yard to chase the stale March air out and let the fresh summer air in.

In the end, it is Ruby who passes the threshold first, saying: “Come on, Reign. I show you the house.”

Wordlessly, the Worldkiller picks up their numerous bags in one hand and follows the teenager inside. Alex stares after them in light puzzlement because Reign knows the house inside out. Then she steps inside and closes the door with a gentle thud.

While Reign and Ruby are upstairs, Alex begins to cook dinner. Lena and Kara hammered it repeatedly into her pig head that if she wanted to care for Ruby she finally had to learn how to cook and sometime during the past two months Alex became capable of making spaghetti at least. It was a small beginning but still better than take-out five times a week.

The familiarity of Sam’s kitchen is suffocating Alex, forcing her to stop several times in her cooking because she spots Sam’s favorite mug in the cupboard next to the fridge or her favorite chocolate in the larder while she searches for the noodles. She can almost hear her voice, light and twinkling, gently mocking her: “The salt is added only _after_ the water began to boil, baby.”

And when she hears footsteps coming down the stairs, she half expects Sam to enter the kitchen, dipping a finger in the Bolognese with a cheeky grin on her face.

When Ruby and Reign appear next to her instead, she hastily wipes at her cheeks.

Dinner passes quiet like most things in Alex' life currently. Again, it is only Ruby who tries to uphold any sense of normality, attempting to explain soccer to Reign. Reign is very visibly only half listening, too preoccupied with her food like all Kryptonians and when Ruby scolds her that she got sauce all over her face, Alex feels the corners of her mouth twitch slightly. But it is never enough to reach into a full smile. The emptiness of Sam’s absence is like a black hole that constantly follows them and instead of absorbing light it sucks the happiness out of all of them.

After dinner, Ruby and Alex settle on the couch, putting on a movie they both have seen a hundred times, which is really nothing more than a pretense to not retreat too early to their respective rooms and wallow in more pain. Reign doesn’t join them, and Alex can hear her roaming restlessly around the house. Why she does that is beyond the redhead, though, she can understand that it would make Reign uncomfortable to sit beside them.

After all, this was never _Reign’s_ home and before the three of them had the chance to change that everything turned to shit.

Eventually, it is time for Ruby to go to bed. Although, it was Friday evening, it was way past the teenager’s bedtime and both Alex and Ruby felt a silent, mutual obligation to Sam to stick to the rules she once established.

Reign stands silently next to the kitchen counter, flicking through an old issue of CatCo that Kara left here months ago because it featured an article on both Lena and Sam. Ruby walks over to her and plucks at her black shirt. Alex watches them alerted from the couch.

“I’m going to bed now,” Ruby explains to the confused Worldkiller. “I wanted to say good-night,” then she wraps her arms around Reign’s waist and the Worldkiller freezes.

With eyes as wide as saucers, she stares at Alex, clearly seeking help, because, what in Rao’s name is she supposed to do now. Alex rolls her eyes, lifts her own arms as if she was hugging air and motions vehemently with her head for Reign to follow her example.

Hesitantly, the Worldkiller puts her arms on Ruby’s shoulders, pats her head awkwardly, saying: “Good-night, child.”

“Good-night, Reign,” the teenager mumbles before letting go and walking out of the kitchen.

“I’m right behind you,” Alex says as she stands up from the couch.

When she passes Reign, she briefly takes her hand and this time the tiny smile on her face reaches her eyes: “Thank you,” then she follows Ruby upstairs.

Reign is left wondering why this one gesture is of so much apparent importance. Then again, she mostly gave up trying to understand the complicated, tangled net of human social interactions.

Fifteen minutes later, Alex comes back, makes a beeline to a cupboard, gets out two glasses, then proceeds to another cupboard and pulls out a bottle of human alcohol. She downs the first glass in one go before turning to Reign: “Do you want one, too?”

Reign crosses her arms in front of her chest, giving the human a serious look: “Kara told me you are not allowed to drink alcohol.”

Alex hangs her head, twirls the empty glass in her hand, mumbling: “She’s probably right about that. You can stop me if it gets out of hand.”

“And how am _I_ supposed to know when it gets out of hand?” Reign asks defiantly.

Alex pours herself another glass: “You will notice. Trust me.”

When she looks at the Worldkiller with raised eyebrows, Reign shrugs. And instantly regrets it when she takes the first sip: “This tastes gross.”

It’s a cold comfort that Alex chuckles slightly at her grimace: “Didn’t know Worldkillers have such a keen tongue.”

Reign would like very much to splutter because the taste is horrible, but she is _proud_ and _stoic_ and would never sink to such indignity: “More the other way around. The best human food is the most extreme.”

Alex makes a small noise with her mouth and raises an eyebrow: “Well, well.”

Without saying anything else, she walks to her backpack and pulls another bottle of shining, golden liquor out. “Maybe this is more to your taste.”

She shoves the bottle into Reign’s hands who looks at her quizzically: “What is this? More gross human alcohol?”

Alex shakes her head, rubs the back of her neck in what Reign learned is a motion of embarrassment: “Think of it as a small welcome-gift. Or something. It’s alien alcohol.”

Being drunk is definitely a new and astounding experience to Reign but much  later she will learn that _fun_ drinking is, well, more _fun_ than the kind of drinking she does with Alex that evening. Because as soon as they sit down on the couch, the Sam-sized hole between them is back to kill whatever kind of mood just transpired between them.

Alex is back to being unable to properly look at Reign without tearing up and Reign is back to being generally overwhelmed with the whole situation. So, they resume to drink in mutual, awkward, tense silence until eventually Alex stumbles upstairs.

Sleeping in Sam’s bed is completely out of the question, so Alex falls into the guest bed in her underwear. She already flitted into a light, nightmare induced sleep when she hears the door open. She knows it is Reign without turning around.

“It is wrong to sleep in Samantha’s bed,” she says in a small, unsure voice then adds with a pout Alex can hear in the dark: “And the couch is small.”

Alex doesn’t know if it is a good idea because being _this_ close to Reign brings memories back that were once _sweet_ and now are _bittersweet_ , but she puts the covers back nonetheless, mumbling in a heavy voice: “Get in.”

She hears how Reign undresses, is slightly relieved when she realizes the Worldkiller didn’t strip completely and does her hardest to fight the tears back down. But with Reign’s long arms suddenly around her, her scent in her nose and her breath ghosting over Alex’ neck it becomes too much, feels too much like _Sam_ and the tears spill over. At first, she is reluctant when the Worldkiller pulls at her shoulder but in the end, she surrenders, turns around and buries herself against Reign’s larger frame and cries and cries until she falls asleep from exhaustion.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Alex wakes up to a piercing scream and in a second, she is wide awake.

The bed next to her is empty and she scrambles through the door before she even blinked the sleep out of her eyes. Like a whirlwind, she crashes through Sam’s open bedroom door, shouts with wide eyes: “What happened?”

Her tired, slightly hungover brain needs a couple of moments to process the scene in front of her. Ruby stands close to the door in her pajama, hiding her beetroot red face in her hands and Reign…

Alex’ eyes widen even more. The Worldkiller stands naked as a jail bird in front of Sam’s open wardrobe.

“Make her put on some clothes!” Ruby whines.

“Reign! For God’s sake!” Alex exclaims while she steers Ruby safely out of the door.

Reign turns around with her hands in her hips, stating completely unfazed: “I do not like Samantha’s clothes.”

Because it is a Saturday, Ruby and Alex decide to take Reign to the city to buy a set or two of clothes for her. Ruby scolds the Worldkiller relentlessly that American teenage girls do not want to see their mother naked, or their mother’s evil alter-ego in their mother’s body.

After breakfast, the three pile into Sam’s Chrysler and thankfully it turns out that at least regarding clothes Reign is a modest Worldkiller. Her favorite color is _black_ , and her favorite shade is _blacker_ , and dresses _do not_ seem to be her thing but apparently, she has a _soft spot_ for leather jackets.

It doesn’t take long until the three of them stand in front of the checkout and when Ruby and Reign stare at her expectantly, Alex realizes that it is her credit card that will suffer tremendously because somehow Reign inherited Sam’s taste and _simple_ clothes do not automatically mean _cheap_ clothes.

When they finally exit the shop, a bulky, coarse man shoves past them, so that Alex knocks into Reign and continues on his way without apologizing. Both Alex and Reign bristle instantly, sending heated glances towards him but before they can react in any way, Ruby shouts after him: “Hey! Can’t you say sorry?”

He turns around with a nasty sneer curling under his bushy moustache, glances first disparagingly at Ruby then with an even wider sneer at Alex and Reign. He actually dares to scoff: “Of course, the child of two fucking _dykes_ has no manners.”

Alex instantly sees red, is ready to roll her sleeves up and give this nasty man a large piece of her mind when suddenly a black blur rushes past her and the next second the man is shoved against the store door.

“You fucking bigoted prick say _one_ more thing about my _family_ and I show you what it means to have no manners! You better apologize right now to my _daughter_ and my _girlfriend_!”

The man looks, by all means, literally ready to piss himself and after he stammered out a hurried apology, he scurries off faster than his legs should be able to carry him.

Left utterly speechless, Alex and Ruby stare at her.

“No one talks to my two girls like that.”

Alex doesn’t even _dare_ to hope that what she sees and hears is true, but the word, the _name_ is out of her mouth before she can stop herself in the same moment as Ruby gasps:

“Sam?!”

“Mom?!”

 _Sam_ tilts her head, the _widest_ , _softest_ , _warmest_ smile on her face, her eyes shining golden from unspilled tears and she gives them a shy shrug:

“I really missed you.”

Screaming and gasping and laughing from so much sudden joy and happiness, Alex and Ruby drop everything in their arms and rush forward, crashing into Sam with so much force that the three of them almost end up in a heap on the floor.

They cling tightly to each, never intending to let go again and cry and laugh so much that people begin to stare at them but, _hey_ , they couldn’t care less.

 

* * *

 

 

That night, Alex and Sam lie in bed with Ruby right next to them.

Alex still cannot believe her own luck, couldn’t stop to _touch_ Sam the rest of the day because she just had to make _sure_ that she was _really_ there, that she was _really_ back. The onslaught of so many blinding, gorgeous feelings after so many weeks of nothing but pain exhausted her more than she wants to admit but Alex is so, _so_ scared that it is all just the worst kind of nightmare that she stubbornly refuses to sleep.

They spent the rest of the day as a giant mess on the couch and Sam could barely even go to the toilet because Alex and Ruby clung to her so desperately. Then she wanted to hear everything she missed, from each and every school day, to each and every of Alex’ questioningly parental decisions to finally each and every of Reign’s useless but nonetheless amusing comments and Ruby was happy to supply and talk for hours while Alex simply watched and listened and randomly burst into tears.

Sam kissed them all away so _sweet_ and _soft_ that it made Alex cry a little more most of the time.

In the quiet of the night, Sam suddenly whispers: “You know, I have no clue where I was, but I think I always heard you. It was like you were talking to me the whole time.”

Carefully, Alex pulls on Sam as not to wake up Ruby until they can look at each other. Her breath momentarily stumbles in her throat, and she has to inhale again because for so long Alex thought that she would never see these bright and warm amber eyes again: “What did I say?”

“You said you _love_ me.”

Alex neither stutters nor gets embarrassed because what is the point. This is _all_ she longed to say to Sam for the past two months and now Sam is finally able to hear her. And what Sam says is simply and honestly _true_ and she will not let another moment like this slip away again. Never ever again. There is a light red blush spreading across her cheeks, nonetheless, because this is big after all, and important and a moment Alex will remember for the rest of her life: “Yes, I did.”

Then she stares deeply into Sam’s eyes, wants this woman to know exactly how much she means her next words, that there is no doubt, no pressure and nothing behind it than her deepest most honest feelings and she says: “I love you, Sam. I love you so much.”

Sam’s face breaks into a smile, so dazingly and beautiful that it leaves Alex speechless. Like every time.

She tugs Alex closer until their noses are brushing, until the gold in her eyes is all Alex can see: “Come here.”

Then she kisses her _long_ and _sweet_ and _soft_ before she says: “I love you, too, Alex.”

Alex never felt so complete in her life, felt never so right in any moment, like she finally found her place in life, like this is _right_ where she always was supposed to be and everything else so far in her life was only an overture preparing her for all the things that will come in the future. They trade more innocent kisses for a while, each of them brimming with happiness and gratefulness that they finally are back in each other’s arms after all the horrible things they had to go through the past year until Alex says eventually, a little shy, a little embarrassed: “I hope this doesn’t completely ruin the moment but…uhm…I want Reign to hear this, too.”

Sam gives her a wide, knowing smile and it is just so _good_ to see it that Alex almost forgets to breathe.

“Of course. As long as _I_ get to cuddle with you the rest of the night.”

Then Sam slips away, and for the fraction of a second Alex panics because, dear _God,_ what if she doesn’t come back but somehow, she knows deep down in the core of her very soul that she will never lose Sam again and then Reign looks at Alex with raised eyebrows: “What do I need to hear?”

She looks troubled and unsure and Alex cannot help herself but wonder how she was able to fall so hard and so helplessly for Reign and how she ever deserves it to be loved back by _both_ of them. “That I love you, too.”

It is just as true as when she said it to Sam because Alex’ love for them is so _tightly_ intertwined that she cannot imagine it any other way anymore.

It is the three of them for the rest of her life.

Reign remains quiet and Alex softly caresses her cheek. She can hear the gears turning in the Worldkiller’s head, sees in her face how Reign searches for the right words to say, searches for the words she is _supposed_ to say, and Alex just might fall for her a little more: “I know that you cannot understand those words, yet, but I want you to know.”

She places a chaste kiss against Reign’s lips: “I love you, Reign.”

The Worldkiller looks at her with big eyes, almost as if she is scared, mumbling: “Like Samantha?”

Alex smiles at her gentle and sweet: “Yes, like Sam.”

And after months of holding back and being held back, Reign leans forward and kisses Alex with all she has because she maybe isn’t ready, yet, to say these words back, isn’t ready for some years to come but she can _show_ Alex.

And Alex smiles and smiles and smiles some more against Reign’s lips because she understands perfectly what the Worldkiller tries to tell her each time she kisses her.

Eventually, Alex tells her to stop, in quiet protest because Reign is always _eager_ and _wanting_ and her hands roam and, _jeez_ , if they continue like this Ruby wakes up. Reluctantly and sulking a little the Worldkiller retreats and Sam makes a bit of fun of her because, “Reign _really_ likes your kisses.”

It is the best night for Alex in a long time and for a long time to come.

 

* * *

 

 

Early on Monday morning, the trio enters the newly renovated left DEO tower and even before they made it to the elevators, Ruby tells four strangers excitedly that her mom is back, and that life is _good_.

The ones who know Alex nod at her in silent congratulations and the redhead fights tooth and nail to keep herself from blushing but with Sam’s hand in hers and her light, melodic laughter in her ears, you could say the odds are against the stoic Agent.

Ruby is bursting into the room with the war table, where, by _sheer_ chance, everyone of their friends and family is gathered, laughing at the top of her lungs: “My mom is back!”

Then she falls into Lena’s arms and then Kara’s and grabs a bewildered Winn by the hands to dance with him. At first, they all stare at Ruby like she has gone certified crazy but when they spot Alex and Sam close behind her, holding hands and wide grins on their faces, they erupt in a round of deafening cheers.

Lena is the first to sweep Sam up into a bone-crushing hug, the first to cry happy-tears, hiccupping into Sam’s neck: “Oh thank _God_ , you are back. I really missed my best friend.”

The next is Kara who simply engulfs them both, lifting them off their feet and refusing to let them go until Lena protests that she has some of Sam’s hair in her face.

Even Winn wants his fair share of welcome-back hugs and in the end, they are all crying again but for once, it is out of a really, _really_ good reason.

The rest of them are less enthusiastic in their joy but J’onn hugs Alex tight and the Legion, who finally repaired their ship, looks at them with equally wide smiles.

Suddenly, the alarm blares and their little reunion is promptly disturbed.

Winn and Alex check the screens, already assessing the situation and Kara turns to Sam with a wide grin, tip-toing between _pride_ and _excitement_ , almost bouncing on her feet when she asks: “Do you want to be a hero, Sam?”

Sam throws her head back and laughs because no one else than herself remembers this but being a hero, _well_ , that has been the first thing coming to her mind when she learned about her origin from the dark priestess so many months ago that it feels like another life, like another _Sam_ and compared to who she is _today_ , to what she has _today_ , then maybe that is not all that wrong.

She grins at Kara who eagerly waits for a response, chuckles: “I’m afraid you have to ask Reign because _I_ am one hundred percent human.”

With an ever wider grin she adds: “But I can feel her itching to make it rain some justice.”

The pun is bad, _horribly_ bad but nonetheless they all laugh.

Lena shows her the new suit and when Sam comes back, Alex and Ruby stare at her with so much unhidden awe and adoration and even walk around her in circles to really catch the suit from all sides that it makes Sam blush furiously.

It looks almost like Reign’s old suit, is mostly black with  lighter grey accents here and there but it comes with a wide, black cloak, at which Alex grins suspiciously at Lena because that was _her_ idea from the very moment Reign took her flying the first time and the suit misses the intimidating mask all together. "Hey, now you match!" Ruby exclaims excitedly looking between Alex and Sam.

Quirking an eyebrow, both women look at Lena who raises her hands and points to Winn: "Don't look at me. Making your suits match was his idea!"

The sigil of the Worldkiller’s is gone, too and the diamond shape across Sam’s chest empty. It will remain like that not for long, though.

“You look amazing,” Alex breathes, and Ruby cannot stop playing with the cloak:

“You’re such a badass, mom.”

Sam weakly protests that out of the two of them Reign is the freshly-baked Kryptonian super-hero but they all agree that Sam is her very own kind of hero, has _always_ been a hero and a badass since the moment twelve years ago when Ruby came into the world.

Nex thing, Kara asks if Sam came up with a new name, but she shakes her head, makes the cloak flutter a bit and says: “I want to keep Reign’s name and she wants to keep it, too. It’s all she has left.”

Alex takes her hand, looks at her with a gentle smile and a long look into the round of smiling faces: “That’s not true. When Reign turned her back on Purity and Pestilence she got something in return. She got _you_. And _me_ ,”

Then she looks again at their group, their friends, their _family_ , and Sam looks, too, and is completely overwhelmed.

“She got all of us.”

Out of nowhere, Sam grabs Alex’ face and smashes their lips together in a passionate kiss because what else is she supposed to do with so much love in her heart. When she feels Alex’ hands in her hair and hears everybody else groan and Ruby whining: “Mom!” she cannot help herself but must laugh again.

Slightly out of breath, Alex says with a blinding grin: “Try to rein her in and don’t let her have too much fun,” she jokes.

Sam’s laughter dies away and the next second Reign growls: “Enough with your bad word plays,” before pulling Alex in again to plant a firm kiss on her lips.

Alex sways a little light-headed on her feet and suddenly Sam says only mildly embarrassed at her twin: “Sorry, sorry. She is just excited.”

With an arm around her girlfriend’s waist, Kara leans in to whisper into Lena’s ear: “This is _really_ confusing.”

Lena laughs deep and low and shakes her head: “I don’t think so. They are so easy to distinguish. But look at poor Alex.”

Kara must laugh, too because Alex blushes fifty beautiful shades of red. Lena kisses Kara softly and mumbles: “You should get going or those delinquents are long gone before you arrive.”

Kara nods eagerly and turns with raised eyebrows to Sam: “You’re ready?”

Sam nods, grinning just as wide: “We both are.”

Alex kisses her briefly, saying: “Get going, Superwoman. I’m right behind you.”

And Ruby hugs her fiercely: “Have fun, mom. Don’t have too much fun, Reign.”

Then Supergirl breaks out into a run and Reign is hot on her heels.

Together the unlikely, brand-new crime fighting duo launches into the sunny morning sky.

 

-The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear reader,
> 
> if you made it this far, you have my eternal gratitude. No matter if you were part of this wild ride from the very beginning or read this sometime in the future. If you left Kudos, or a comment, of heaven forbid even more than one comment then I probably name my next pet after you. All your responses to this little story mean so much to me, they made me smile first thing in the morning or in the middle of the night and I cannot thank you enough for it. This is the first story that is so unbelievably long that I actually finished and that was only possible because of you guys.  
> I hope you had fun reading this story, that you were excited and laughed a bit and cried a bit because I sure as hell did.  
> So, cheers to all of you I raise my Scotch in your name and let me hear it from you one last time in the comment section. It would mean a lot to me hearing your opinions about the epilogue.
> 
> I hope I see your names again in another comment section of another story some time soon.  
> But for now, this is it.
> 
> The End.  
> For real this time.
> 
> Promsie.


End file.
